“Hyukjae?”

I turned around to face Lee Sangmin. He was watching me with strange pitiful glint in his brown eyes and I put down my hands from the DJ console. While I was waiting for him to say something, I noticed that I was out of breath. Droplets of sweat were ramming my face and dripping on my drenched shirt. My lungs we stinging from the passionate burn and my limbs felt strangely numb.

“Come on, take a break,” he leaned very close to me so he wouldn´t have to yell over the loud music. He squeezed my shoulder in manner that didn´t allow me to refuse. I put down the headphones and put on the automatic playing.

I followed Sangmin behind the bar where he forced me to sit down and freshen up with juice he pushed into my hand. Without a single word he wiped my forehead with a tissue and patted my wet back. I took a deep breath, I didn´t even realised how out of it I was. And it was all because of Donghae, I was seriously hurt. Drop-Face watched me with sadistic amusement and I refused to look at him, he was scaring me. The damage this time was serious.

“Hello? Hyukjae?” I picked up one of many Donghae´s calls. It was five in the morning and I just entered my apartment. I didn´t say anything, I was pissed. “You aren´t answering my messages and calls, are you all right?” Is he joking with me?

“No, I´m not. You are a jerk, Donghae!” I angrily threw my winter jacket on the floor and kicked away my shoes.

“What, why?” Donghae sounded confused, it was irritating me even more, he didn´t even know he hurt me! With the phone in my hand I stomped to the kitchen with my monster in tow.

“Do you think a doctor can cure me? That if I have a good doctor then the monsters will go away?” I opened the cabinet and took out a glass which I slammed on the table. “If you think like that then you maybe need a doctor for yourself.” I opened the fridge and grabbed a box of strawberry juice.

“I´m not following, Hyukjae,” Donghae´s voice was much quieter.

“Perhaps they could cure you too, hm? From being a ing gay,” I barked at him and filled the glass on the table with light red juice. And I was about to drink it, hoping it would sooth my nerves when I picked up the sounds coming from the phone.

“Why, Hyukjae?” It was sobbing, I froze in my movement, the glass only an inch from my parted lips. “I don´t know what happened to you that you took it out on me but I hope it was something really bad because I want you to have an excuse. I don´t want to think that you meant to say all those words.”

“I´m sorry, I admit that I lied to you. I said I wasn´t interested in you in any other way than a friend. The truth is, I love you. Or so I think. Let me know if you have a problem with that.”

And after this uncalled for confession, the line went deaf. I dropped the glass of juice I was holding and everything spilled on the kitchen table. In horror I looked at the black display of the device. What have I just heard? And it appears that I´m actually the bad one. I was trying to recall what I told Donghae and the more I remembered, the paler my face was.

I wasn´t the only one who shared a very deep secret. Donghae also told me something important and trusted me to keep it. Donghae, currently the most popular singer turned actor, was gay. I didn´t feel like it was a problem, I honestly didn´t care about Donghae´s orientation as I cared for his unpredictable personality. Since the beginning, I was focused on not getting caught talking to monsters, I was that preoccupied that the information slipped my mind. And when I was reminded that Donghae was gay, we were already close friends. I leaned against the wet table, soaking my clothes with the strawberry juice.

“, I messed up,” I mumbled, my head was spinning.

“Uuuuuuh!” I snapped my head when the red puddle on the table flickered. Drop face was crouching on the table, his face on the right place and was looking straight at me. I was shocked and couldn´t even move. My eyes were glued to the spilled juice, I didn´t want to raise my stare but I could see him. Drop-Face mirrored in the puddle.

Monsters are scary. No matter where their face is, no matter if they are fat or slimy. All monsters are scary because I don´t know where they come from. Even children carry their monsters, elderly, women, men, politicians on TV and popular girl group members. My friends and co-workers have monsters too, Sungmin and his wife have two black creatures giggling in the corner of their living room, the PD in the radio has a spider like monster under the table and Lee Sangmin is always followed by a gurgling freak. Monsters are scary but people are scarier, they carry those monsters after all. People watch and people judge. But I love people, even though I know they can be rough. I see monsters, therefore I don´t fear humans.

“Saaaaaaar,” Drop-Face heaved into my face and I twitched. Slowly I detached myself from the table and ran to the bathroom, not sparing Drop-Face a single glance.

I showered and let the hot water warm me up, I was all frozen. Drop-Face kept knocking on the door, he knew I was feeling under the weather and knew he had to use this rare chance to shake me even more. I didn´t let him read my face, ignoring him. I quietly walked to the bedroom but instead of heading for the bed as usually, I went to the closet and dressed up warmly. I put a long white knitted sweater over my black jeans and rounded my neck with a red scarf. I put on the padded jacket that was still lying in the hall and walked out of the apartment. Curious monster followed me.

I caught a taxi because my blonde hair was still wet. I was on my way to Donghae´s house. The address I found quickly from his fans on the net and I remembered his schedule for today because he told me yesterday. He should be there, and I was sure he wasn´t sleeping. Not after the call.

Getting inside the building was much harder, though. The security was tight because of Donghae´s fans. I ended up calling Donghae´s manager who then made Donghae confirm the security that I could come up. I should have called Donghae himself, it would be much easier and made more sense, but even after all I said about humans and monsters, I didn´t have the guts to speak to him. Nevertheless, I knocked on the door and it slowly opened.

“Hey,” I said, rubbing my wet head.

“Come in,” Donghae mumbled and from the tone of his voice and his tired face, I could tell he was crying. A grown up man crying.

I walked inside and took off my shoes. Donghae´s place was three times bigger than my own and very luxurious. And it´s not like I own a scrawny place. I was afraid to sit anywhere and so I lingered in the kitchen when Donghae switched on the coffee machine. He was turned away from me and I watched his strong back quietly. The rising sun behind us coloured the white kitchen in orange hues and Donghae´s shadow was standing next to him like another man. This won´t do. I firmly walked to him and stood in place of the shadow. Donghae was startled.

“I´m sorry,” I said and looked into his eyes. “Without any excuse, I am sorry, Donghae.”

Hello! So in the end, Hyukjae did bad. You guys are so protective of him, that´s really sweet. Explanation of the text in the next chapter. Donghae was in love with Hyukjae for some time already but how will Hyukjae deal with that? Thank you for reading and your comments! Have a nice day! - PandaHero