Sometines I think it would be better for everyone if I didn't exist.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not some sad abused boy who has a dramatic past.

My parents are amazing. My dad is a scientist and my mom is a housewife. I grew up in a normal household, and looking back on it now, I've never had any painful experience in the past.

I had a regular time at school, I wasn't part of the popular group, but I was never bullied. I had friends, but none of which i considered to be close.

Everything about me screamed normal. So then what was the problem?

Maybe I'm too normal. Looking at the people beside me on stage, I can't name one thing that makes me stand out. So i just kept my head down, hoping the hoodie I'm wearing would hide my acne- ridden face.

Honestly, I didn't expect to be called. Having joined No.Mercy so late in the game, i thought the judges would've already picked their favorites. I guessed that I was just added to ignite some spice, a little conflict to entice viewers to watch the show.

But then, here I am, standing on stage (uncomfortably, might I add) as I hear the others cry and sob. Jooheon was trying to say something about him and Gun sharing the stage together. Yeah, well, I ruined it for you guys I thought bitterly.

I looked up at the judges quickly, wondering why in the hell they chose me to debut. I mean, I'm glad I'm debuting but with all the negative feelings the others have for me (and the fans as well) wouldn't it have been better to choose someone else?

Then again, there's no time to dwell on my thoughts. Day 1 of hell starts tomorrow. When the cameras are gone, how much worse will the others treat me?