Nayeon hears that the trainee who is transferring to her group has only trained for a little over a year. The news makes her seethe silently because Nayeon belongs to the A-list trainees group, which means her group is made of the best trainees in JYP. Their training years usually range from five to ten. Long years of hard work have steeled them, solidified their voice control, and sharpened their dance moves to make sure they are ready for debut. Nayeon only has five years of training as a lead vocal – the least of the group and said to be one of the best. That is why she feels her blood boil when they receive the news that some trainee – who has what, a year’s training? – is transferring over.

The leader of their group, Jihyo, is an excited mother hen who cannot wait to baby her children. Jihyo has a sturdy ten years of training under her belt and is designated to be a main vocal. She has seen people come and go, telling stories to Nayeon about broken dreams and lost hopes with a jaded look in her eyes – it made Nayeon hope she herself would be the one to stay. Even so, despite the leader’s bitter experiences, she seems to be the most enthusiastic about the upcoming arrival of the new trainee.

Nayeon cannot find the same enthusiasm in herself, because said trainee transferring has less than a year’s experience and is about to undermine her five years worth of effort. (Said trainee has managed to accomplish the same things as Nayeon in less than a year.) Just the mere thought of this new trainee makes her head spin with anger, hands balled into fists and teeth gritted together. Nayeon thanks god the trainee is only coming next week because if the trainee shows up today, Nayeon cannot guarantee the new trainee’s safety.

She can hardly concentrate on today’s dance routine, making mistakes twice and messing up the choreography. Their dance trainer forgives her (but with a frown) because Nayeon usually pulls off any choreography well enough with errors (and the look on Nayeon’s face says today isn’t her day). When their trainer leaves, Nayeon collapses on the floor, black haired splayed on the hard wood and chest heaving for oxygen.

“Tired?” Jihyo asks, placing a bottle of water in her hands gently.

Her heart soon slows down to a normal pace. Nayeon sits up, uncapping the bottle and gulping down the water. The leader settles beside her, wiping off sweat with a towel.

“Exhausted. I’m kind of out of it today. I hate this,” the girl complains, eyebrows furrowing in distress.

Jihyo doesn’t talk, instead looking at the floorboards with a kind of intensity in her eyes. It takes a while but when she finally raises her head, her eyes are wide and clouded with concern.

“Is this about the new trainee transferring over next week?”

Hitting the nail on Nayeon’s head, the words rub her the wrong way, earning Jihyo a scowl. The latter merely chuckles at Nayeon’s expression, before lying down on the floor and patting the space beside her. Nayeon waits for the other members of the group to filter out of the room before lying down next to Jihyo. The ceiling lights blind her for a while and she closes her eyes, listening to Jihyo’s soft breathing.

“Are you jealous?” Jihyo asks cautiously, like she might set off a bomb – Nayeon, that is – if she’s not careful enough.

The black-haired girl groans, somewhat hating how accurate Jihyo always is. Jihyo seems to know her inside out and while it is comforting to have someone understand her well, it frightens her as well sometimes. Jihyo is the perfect person Nayeon wants to be – understanding, capable and responsible. (Nayeon wonders if it’s the difference of five years of training or something else altogether.) It makes her feel inferior because Jihyo is younger than her, but better than her in almost everything else. Nayeon guesses this is why Jihyo was given the role of the leader instead.

“Stop reading me like an open book,” Nayeon grunts, turning to mock-glare at Jihyo. “I know I’m predictable.”

The girl beside her scoffs as if Nayeon has said something ridiculous and unbelievable, rolling her eyes and looking at Nayeon.

 “I’m not reading you,” Jihyo denies. “I just feel the same way.”

The words make Nayeon sit up quickly, nearly getting dizzy from the speed. Her jaw drops open and her eyes widen almost comically, it makes Jihyo laugh.

“Wait, you’re jealous too? But you were so excited just now!”

The chortle soon settles into a quiet laugh. The main vocal-to-be smiles, her eyes bright and clear now as she shrugs nonchalantly. Jihyo suddenly looks different, not so leader-like anymore, almost like a different person. She looks like she doesn’t have all the answers in the world and it’s okay to not know everything. It makes Nayeon feel a bit better because now Jihyo looks like she doesn’t have it all together, seemingly more like a dongsaeng rather than someone who guides Nayeon.

“I’m human too, you know. I think, any human being would get jealous if they took ten years to get to where they are, but someone else only took a year,” Jihyo laughs softly.

Then her tone changes to something more mellow, amusement completely wiped away from her voice.

“But I’m the leader of this group and I have to protect this person.”

Nayeon notices the mirth in her eyes all drained out. But even so, the brightness in her eyes stays like a fire that can never get blown out by strong winds. It makes Nayeon feel ashamed of herself for letting the green-eyed monster take control of her, hanging her head in regret.

“This trainee is going to be one of us now. We should help her stay. After all, too many people have left,” their leader says, her voice laced with a tiredness that comes with seeing too many things.

Nayeon realizes that this is probably why Jihyo smiles too often, offering care and concern without expecting anything in return. This is probably also the reason why Jihyo always puts on a strong front, never shrugging the responsibility off her shoulders, and looking every bit the reliable leader.

Guilt stabs her in the chest upon realizing that she has never done anything to ease Jihyo’s burden. Even so, when Nayeon looks at Jihyo, Jihyo’s smile never wavers, always tender and comforting, like a shelter against the rain. She memorizes Jihyo’s smile and keeps it in her heart as a reminder that she, too, needs to be a shelter for Jihyo and the rest. She leans back down, promising herself that she will do better.

If Jihyo is trying her best, she should too.

///

Forget about trying her best, Nayeon is already in flames.

With a hanging jaw and a dazed look in her eyes, she cannot help but stare at the new trainee who looks like the living definition of elegance. She saunters into the practice room with a kind of ease and grace that makes Nayeon wonder if she’s a dancer. All eyes are on her as she bows a perfect ninety degrees, movement so polished and refined that Nayeon feels like someone of lower stature than her despite the bow. The girl has straight dark brown hair that ends in waves at the small of her back, locks of dark brown looking too smooth. Nayeon is suddenly self-conscious about her own black hair that is probably dry and has a few split ends. The girl is slim with curves at the right places and Nayeon is reminded of her own stick thin figure.

Plump very kissable pink lips part as the girl introduces herself in smooth Korean, “Hello. It’s nice to meet you all. I’m Mina.”

Nobody replies and Nayeon can see the same dazed and star-struck look in their eyes. It only further fuels the fire in her as she clears out of irritation. Jihyo snaps out of it quickly, wearing a welcoming smile as she introduces herself to Mina. The rest of the members follow suit and it slowly reaches Nayeon, who is the last one.

Mina looks at her with eyes that are too dazzling, like someone sprinkled stardust in her eyes. She looks too sincere, innocence and naiveté reflected in those brown orbs, so unaware and ignorant of everything around her. Too eager to please, the girl looks like a bootlicker and Nayeon hates those types of girls – those who use their looks to their advantage, pretending to be all nice and kind when they aren’t.

Nayeon mocks the new trainee loudly, “I’m Nayeon, the oldest here and it’s not nice to meet you at all.”

In her peripheral vision, she notices Jihyo’s eyes widen as she gasps in shock at the unkind words from Nayeon’s foul mouth. She thinks Jungyeon might have rolled her eyes, knowing her too well to be surprised.

The best thing is seeing Mina recoil in disbelief before the hurt shadows the light in her eyes, almost snuffing it out entirely.

Now that the girl doesn’t look too enthusiastic anymore, Nayeon immediately feels better, like she finally gets to breathe after being submerged in water for a long time. Mina averts her eyes, looking at the ground, long hair hanging in front of her. She looks like a ghost, with her squared-in shoulders and stiff back. The silence doesn’t help lift the ominous atmosphere as everyone is too shocked to do anything. Not even Jihyo says anything, not when she is at a total loss for words, opening and closing like a gaping fish.

Nayeon just stands firm, folding her arms and waiting to see if Mina would reveal her true colours. She bets her squirtle plushie that Mina is going to change tactics now that she knows that Nayeon isn’t the least fooled by her innocent act.

She is about to scoff again when Mina lifts her head, eyes meeting Nayeon’s straight on.

She sees the unfaltering eyes, how the hurt in them has traned into some kind of strength or resolve that leaves Nayeon with a tensed jaw. There is hardly a sound when Mina moves closer to Nayeon, her footsteps as light as air. The close proximity renders Nayeon breathless, breathing terribly shallow. Mina makes her feel like she might be in danger if she even breathed too loudly.

Mina smiles, pouty lips curling and beautiful eyes narrowing. Even as her eyes turn into somewhat narrow slits, her gaze is intense and it burns through Nayeon like ice.

“In that case, I will do all I can to impress you, Nayeon-ssi,” Mina says, voice quiet but strength loud.

Mina’s quiet resilience threatens Nayeon and makes her hands tremble. Nayeon feels the urge to run away but she fears that her knees might buckle if she takes even one step. She thinks she might faint and that’d be the best case scenario for Nayeon because then she’d be able to get Mina in trouble for this.

Faking bravado, Nayeon tries (but stutters anyway), “S—Save the effort for someone else. It’s obvious that we both dislike each other.”

It seems like Mina is a wall because the words bounce right off her and she retorts quickly. “I don’t dislike you.”

Then Mina leans in even more and Nayeon really wants to faint. She’s so close, Nayeon manages to catch a whiff of probably very expensive perfume that smells sweet and exudes femininity. Mina’s smooth dark-brown hair that can appear in a shampoo commercial is brushing against her cheeks lightly, painting the skin a baby pink. Warm breath caresses her ear and jaw, sending goose bumps down her spine, her eyes squeezing shut.

Devil, Nayeon thinks.

“You’re too pretty to be disliked, Nayeon-ssi,” Mina whispers, breath fanning against her skin.

Nayeon feels go dry as Mina pulls away. It takes her several blinks and gulps for her to recover. By the time she actually realizes what just happened, she has bolted out of the practice room, slamming the door shut loudly.

She presses her back against the door, leaning on it for support because her legs might give out. Her hand flies up to her chest and she can feel her heart ramming itself against her ribcage almost painfully, her chest tight and wound up. The damned organ doesn’t slow down even though she’s trying her best to take slow, deep breaths.

Her mind is a broken recorder on loop because it keeps replaying Mina over and over again – Mina’s eyes, Mina’s smile, Mina’s scent, Mina’s words.

Excluding Mina, the only things floating in her head are curses. She scoffs at the thought of Mina being a devil.

More like a ing succubus.

///

She gets a scolding from Jihyo and two flicks on the forehead from Jungyeon after that. Nayeon remembers Jungyeon’s sarcastic remarks when she came clean about her feelings towards Mina to her best friend.

(“You sound like Elizabeth from Pride and Prejudice,” Jungyeon comments.

“What, am I supposed to fall in love with Miss Mina Darcy?” Nayeon asks wryly.

“But Mina’s a polite Darcy.”

“So?”

“That means you’re a douchebag,” Jungyeon states and Nayeon wants to cry.)

That is all the punishment she gets so she counts herself lucky. She is fully aware that she deserves the punishment; she knows that what she did was rude and because she considers herself a generally good person, she knows she should apologize to the girl who has not done anything wrong. But Nayeon is the queen of avoiding her problems, so she escapes whenever Mina gets close enough to talk to her