I wrote this story as a form of personal remembrance to Jonghyun. I don’t pretend to know depression or what Jonghyun was struggling with. I also don’t pretend to know Jonghyun, his feelings, and thoughts. The only thing I really do know was that he tried his best and he worked hard. I have always believed that suicide is a personal decision. If Jonghyun chose to do it, if he chose to cease this never-ending exhaustion, I respect his choice even though I am deeply grieving. I am terribly saddened that he could only find the peace he was desperately searching for in death.

Jonghyun, while open about his depression, always showed us the brightest side of himself. He never really showed his demons to his fans. I don’t think he wanted to burden anyone else, other than a select few. Even in death, he did all he could to help the people who surround him. Even though he is no longer physically here, his words, thoughts, and feelings are still alive.

He is in every stage he performed, every song he sang and wrote, every heart he mended.