TIP #15: “Qui craint de souffrir, il souffre déjà de ce qu’il craint”
(He who fears suffering is already suffering that which he fears)

Ring ring.

In Hya waits as the line continues to beep.

Ring ring.

Still no response.

Ring ring.

Upon the 9th beep, she finally gives up and drops the phone to her lap with a heavy heart.

She has been trying to get through her mother for days, no, for weeks even, but her calls are never picked up.

Gloomy clouds hover around her head, as she fears that maybe her mother is still bitter with her. It must have been silly of her, thinking that maybe, the wall in her heart has simmered down but apparently, it hasn’t.

She wonders how it feels to actually have an actual family. She has always envied seeing blissful families dining out at restaurants when she orders takeaway.

In Hya lies flat on her bed and scans through her phone again. She wants to chat with someone, to at least dispel some of this loneliness that is taking over her.

She chews on her bottom lip as she contemplates to call up Jongin while playing with the frayed end of her shirt.

“Should I? Should I not?”

Upon counting down, she shuts her eyes and dials the call button, heart thumping with every beep that is ongoing.

A part of her is afraid, yet another part of her is anticipating. Either her body is acting up or she is just—

“Hello..?”

A slurring groan greets her and she also hears someone shifting on a mattress in the background.

Huh? This doesn’t sound like Jongin.

“Jongin?”

The line goes dead for a while before an amusing laugh drops at the end of the laugh.

“My ..”

In Hya sits up straight when she hears his grouchy voice and pulls away the phone from her ear to frantically double check the contact name.

ASDGFHJKL CUTE PRINCE?! AKA BAEKHYUN?!

Her heart almost burns in as she realizes the fatal mistake she has just committed.

HOW COULD I HAVE MISTAKEN THEIR CONTACT NAMES?!

“Yo rice cake, still alive?”

Baekhyun’s voice brings In Hya back to reality and she panics to come up with an excuse.

“A-Ah listen, actually you know I—“

“I know, you messed up.”

In Hya lets out a low hiss as her shoulders slump. Having Baekhyun crisply saying it in verbal form makes it worser than she feels. How does this person manage to read her inside out without even seeing her physically?

In Hya sighs, “Kinda.”

She doesn’t even attempt to lie anymore since Baekhyun has seen through her.

“I just felt like talking to someone.” In Hya confesses, her voice dropping an octave lower.

This is so stupid. Calling Baekhyun in the middle of the night, disrupting his sleep, just because she feels lonely. How selfish of her.

“What did you have for dinner?”

“U-Uh huh? I had ramen.. why do you ask?”

In Hya hears Baekhyun exhaling slowly at the other end of the receiver.

“You said you wanted to talk, right?”

In Hya blinks at his unexpected words, how easily he complies with her request. Well, that is true but.. it’s almost 1AM. Plus the fact that he is probably worn out from work too.

“Oh.. You don’t have to—“

“It’s fine. Just speak, since you’re already on the line. I’m not Jongin, but I’ll still listen.”

An unconscious shiver runs down her spine as Baekhyun’s sleepy voice grates against her ear.

“I’m sorry, you were sleeping right?”

“Was.” Baekhyun corrects snidely. In Hya can almost feel him scowling in displeasure at the other end.

In Hya brings the quilt up to her chest and tucks her arms out. Although she feels guilty, she can’t help but snigger when she hears him sulk like a kid after being disturbed from his nap.

“Wow, I wonder why.” She chuckles gleefully.

She can’t see the small curling up his lips as Baekhyun switches on the table lamp next to him.

“How was your day?” Baekhyun asks, finally deciding to humour her.

In Hya goes back flat and thrashes around her bed. “The same old schedule. Being around kids can be exhausting.”

“Well,” Baekhyuns hums knowingly, “It’s the fate of every teacher.”

In Hya nods eventhough she knows Baekhyun cannot see it, “Yup. But I’ve never regretted my decision.”

“To be a teacher?”

“No. To challenge my limitations.”

In Hya understands that Baekhyun may not catch on to her vague words so she proceeds, “Last time, I was a really introvert student.”

Baekhyun snorts incredulously, “I can’t imagine.”

A small grin tugs on her face, “It’s true. I had no friends, I didn’t like to mix around, and I was the type to head home straight after school.”

Baekhyun rests his arm under his head as he switches the hand to hold his phone, “Sounds boring.”

Much to his surprise, In Hya simply laughs it off, “Yeah. You bet.”

“What made you want to become a teacher then?” He finds himself wanting to know more about her.

“Hmm..” In Hya twirls the sheets under her fingers, “I wanted to help change lives. Return back what I received from the adults. And then I found myself wanting to show how much fun they can have, something I should’ve done in the past. You could say that I wanted to relieve my own childhood too.”

Baekhyun finds himself being in awe with her mature thinking and feels that small smile creep against his lips again, “You’re passionate.”

“Can I choose to believe that?”

“Absolutely.” He says sincerely.

How long has it been since she last had a heart-to-heart talking session with someone? Baekhyun is not exactly the person she thought she would be speaking to, but here she is idling the night away, on the phone with him as the clock ticks without mercy.

“It must be nice to be rich.” She mutters, now bringing the topic related to Baekhyun.

Nice?

Baekhyun wanted to laugh.

Too much of his wealth has proven to be toxic.

“I’m not that rich.” Baekhyun scoffs.

“Richer than me that is.” In Hya retorts sarcastically.

If only she knew how much he had suffered because of his family’s wealth, Baekhyun thinks that maybe In Hya would not even have given that sort of compliment.

“Can I ask you something?” She suddenly asks.

In Hya is not really sure what she wants out of this phone call, but talking to Baekhyun has kind of made her night and she thinks that it will tremendously enable her to sleep more peacefully today. Drowsiness starts to kick in from the ongoing conversation as she feels her weary eyes trying to stay awake.

“Go on.”

In Hya in her cheeks for a while before letting out a breath, “Remember the first time we met? You were so hostile towards me and also Junghwa, a few days later.. It’s not really a sensible theory but I thought you hated women.”

That hits the blunt spot right in Baekhyun’s gut. His face darkens and he grips his phone tighter.

“I never hated you.” He says dryly.

If they were not dense enough, they both would have noticed that Baekhyun had left out the p