***I just wanted to let you guys know this chapter is giving background information and has some traumatic experiences like death, so if you cannot handle things like that please do not read it my darling's okay? I want what's best for you <3***

It started when Jaehyun was 7.  The fear of loving, of trusting. Jaehyun's family was a very middle class family, sometimes struggling to get by. But all of that was okay as long as they continued to love each other strongly throughout it all. Each hug silently meaning so much more than a normal hug. Jaehyun would cry at night sometimes and his mother would hold him and tell him, "Since you're here, we can handle this and i'll keep you safe, always".  Jaehyun loved his mom more than words could explain. In her embrace he could feel like nothing would touch him, that she was some kind of superhero shielding him from all of the world's evils. But none of us are untouchable.

     Jaehyun's father lost his job. devastation kicked in, and his father died from a heart attack a few weeks later. and with him gone his mother felt hopeless. How could she take care of Jaehyun on her own when they were barely getting by as is before? So when Jaehyun was asleep in his bed one night, she touched his face one last time, and she bawled and bawled some more and as she walked out of the room and whispered her last I love you's.. The only thing left of her would be her memories.

   Jaehyun woke up to policemen inside of his house.  "We don't exactly know how to tell you this, but Jaehyun i'm sorry to say your mother has committed suicide, She's gone" The policemen said. And Jaehyun froze. He was in so much pain, he couldn't cry, he couldn't even move. He started thinking, ' Who's here to keep me safe now? " and then the erruption of tears came soon after.  He was terrified of the fact that his mother broke her promise and now he was left to face the world alone. No more hugs. Just empty memories of what could've been.  And then he ran. He didn't know where he was going, but he couldn't stay there. 

  And so as Jaehyun ran from Taeyong, he started crying. Remembering all of the past memories that still haunt him to this day knowing that all he wanted was for the  pain to fade.