Everything happened in slow motion the instant her name was shout through the whole set. I felt how my heart started sinking with every step she made. It felt like the air was leaving my lungs, I felt sick, I felt lost.

My face surely was pale, and I was trying really hard not to shed some tears right there. Compose yourself, Eunbi, you have to be strong…

I know who this girl is; I know who is Heo Youngji and the effect she has in Jackson Wang. We have never talk but I have heard a lot about her former group, about her, about her and Jackson… And all those thoughts along were enough to make my heart hurt deeply…

Jackson…

My eyes slowly transferred to him, his face seemed to show so many things: confusion, shock, bitterness, fear, nostalgia. And if that wasn’t enough to make me feel at loss, I don’t know what else could.

I drifted my gaze back at her and tried to put a smile in my face, even if it seemed forced, even if it seemed hurt, broken. But I kept my head up, my defense up, my barriers up. I couldn’t let them see how much it affected me.

She came nearer until she was at my side. Her smile was bright and wide making me felt uncomfortable for some reason, but I didn’t express it, letting my neutral expression take over my face. The voices of the MCs were like empty whispers at the back of my head while hers, was more like a loud roar, a loud noise that was right at my side, making me feel so bothered, and I couldn’t think clearly, I wanted to disappear at that exact moment, evaporate in thin air.

With a little of difficulty I glanced at Jooheon and Dahyun and they seemed normal, trying to keep up with was going on, trying to focus.

You should be doing the same, Eunbi

But it’s so hard…

I know she haven’t do anything to me but I felt so hurt, so dejected, so glum, it’s like my mind was telling me I have lost whatever chance I might have in the future with him and I really disliked that idea so much, so much.

I took a deep breath and glanced next to Jackson. The usually loud, mischievous, funny, smiling and enthusiastic Jackson that I know was completely shut down, it was like he wasn’t there anymore, like he hadn’t recovered for the evident shock he had when he saw her.

Her…

And it really hurt me. More than I could describe with words.

You might think I was overreacting but I felt with no life since Youngji made her appearance in the filming. I had no idea how to react or what to do, so I just followed everything the MCs said. I was most of the time so quiet and serious and only laughed when it was needed. I know it seemed odd but I couldn’t help it. Jooheon gave me some pats from time to time, trying to comfort me. He knew everything; he knew what happened with Youngji.

On the other hand, Hani noona was trying to cheer me up too. She also knew, not everything, but she knew Youngji was my ex-girlfriend. We never made it official, although everybody smelled something was going on in the past, especially when we were filming Roommate. We denied so many times until we realized that maybe we did felt something.

In the past, I thought we were fine, that we loved each other, and we trusted each other so much, but I was so wrong…

And now that she came back to my life, I felt so bitter and down just looking for a split moment at her. I wasn’t expecting this at all…

Not when I already have someone who made my days better just by thinking about her, who made me feel in peace just by the touch of our hands, someone who made me feel at ease, giddy and nervous, all at the same time just with her presence, someone who made me feel so in love just with one gaze…

Someone who healed my broken heart without realizing it.

Sinb…

I looked at her sneakily and what I saw made me feel even worse. She had a lifeless expression in her face and she was quieter than normal but she was still smiling and laughing a little.

Maybe she does know and it affected her, but why…? It’s not like she likes me, right? But what she did early was so weird but felt so good, I’m so confused…

Immersed in my thoughts, I didn’t realize when Youngji was talking to me and when everything came to an end.

“Hey Jackson” She called me softly. I blinked obfuscated and looked at her, feeling uncomfortable already.

“Hey Youngji…” I replied between my teeth, wanting to dash out of there, I couldn’t stand being there any moment.

“Long time no see, right, Jackson?” She said slowly, smiling, walking until she was in front of me.

I really couldn’t stand it; I couldn’t talk to her properly since she did that to me. Since she broke my heart…

Without expecting it, Youngji took my hand in her and smiled more at me, like trying to get back what we had before. Like trying to turn on that spark we had before. However, that especial spark wasn’t there anymore, she wasn’t the person that made my whole body have an electric shock just with the touch of our fingers, Youngji wasn’t her. It’s too late now, Youngji…

I observed her hardly and was about to made an excuse to rush out of there until I saw Sinb staring at us. She had an unreadable expression in her face. It was almost hurt what I could see in her eyes, like she was looking at something she was trying to avoid.

Sinb caught me staring at her and in no time, she dashed out of the scene, I felt a pan in my heart instantly. My eyes widened in shock and I followed her with my gaze, separating my hand from Youngji’s in the process.

“Jackson are you-“ I cut Youngji out when I shouted loudly.

“SINB!” Her name came out of my mouth like a bullet, a worried tone lacing every word.

Sinb didn’t look back and ran until I couldn’t see her anymore. I was so worried but I couldn’t move my legs, I just stood there, looking at the direction she left.

I’m sure everyone was looking at me weirdly and maybe worried. Youngji eyes were making holes in the back of my head, but I couldn’t care less.

“Jackson, what was that?” I heard her ask with a confused tone.

I didn’t answer her and just stayed silence for a while. Then, I moved my gaze to her and just said.

“Nothing, Heo Youngji, nothing”

 And I made my way out of the set, Jooheon and Hani noona walking behind me.

I ignored Jackson when he called my name. I couldn’t spare a glance at him, at them; I just couldn’t take it anymore. I just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible, so I ran and ran and ran. Until I was far enough of the building. I didn’t even call my manager, maybe he was looking for me. I’m so going to get scolded for this…

I sighed and looked around trying to see where I was. I was not aware of how much did I run, but sure I was far away from my dorm. With nothing more to do, I started walking to my dorm; at least I knew where it was.

I made sure to not get noticed by covering my face slightly with my hair and hastening my steps.

While walking, I couldn’t stop replaying the scene in my head over and over again, it really hurt, and I felt like my heart was shattered into pieces.

I walked faster just at the thought, holding back my tears.

Soon, I was in front of the door of my dorm, with no energy left in my body and with a broken heart in my chest. Slowly I pressed the bell and counted the seconds until I heard Yuju’s voice through the thick door.

“Who is it?” She asked.

“It’s me, Yuna, Eunbi…” I said loud enough for her to hear.

In no time, she opened the door wide and as soon as she did so, I fell in her welcoming arms like a crying mess. Crying my heart out.

“It really hurts, Yuna… It’s not fair, why now?” I mumbled between my sobs, Yuju’s hand combing my hair gently.

“Sshh, it’s ok, Eunbi, everything is going to be ok, I’m here…” She said softly, trying to comfort me. She didn’t know what happened but decided to not interrogate me in that moment.

The minutes passed and it felt like forever until I calmed down. Yuju was still combing my hair and hugging me, whispering comforting words. It seemed like the other girls weren’t at home yet…

Soon, in Yuju’s arms, I felt my eyes getting heavier with each passing second until I fell asleep, thoughts of Jackson filling my mind and my dreams. 

Hello guys! I'm so sorry for the late update ;;; I hope you forgive me haha, I already said I study Medicine, so most of the time I'm very busy, sorry guys... Well, here is chapter seven, finally! This chapter is a little bit sad :/ I really tried hard to express what the characters feel, so I hope I made a good job xD THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT! You are all the best <3 Tell me if I made a mistake and make suggestions, they are always welcome :D 

The amazing cover photo was made by one of my dearest friends, DizzyJames, thank you so much, darling <3 Please go to her page and read her fics, they are really good and I love them haha~ (http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/1092205) 

Until next chapter, take care, guys.

~Mashu-chan