first date
I'm not going anywhereAfter their kiss, Vernon kept his eyes closed for a few seconds. He opened his lids to stare so tenderly at Jeonghan.
– So… Are we…
– Dating ? I hope so.
– But to be really dating shouldn’t we go on a date ?
Vernon’s phone made a noise and when he looked at it he looked a bit pissed off.
– , I forgot about this…
– What is it ?
– My parents are on their way and they are spending the night here. I hope they don’t bring too much food I already ate too much. Ah, they will be sleeping in my room… Their idea of a birthday present is me sleeping on the couch, how thoughtful.
– I guess I should leave you then, you should enjoy some time with you family. I’ll be back tomorrow.
– Where are you going to sleep ?
– Don’t worry about it, I’m a ghost, I could sleep anywhere no one would notice.
– Are you really okay with this ?
– Yes. Don’t forget not to look to happy, your boyfriend just died.
– Ya ! It’s too soon for you to be joking around like that ! I was devastated !
– I know. I wiped your tears.
Jeonghan gave Vernon a kiss on the forehead and vanished, leaving the man alone, blushing in an empty apartment. The ghost teleported at his parent’s. He he wasn't really ready to see them and he knew that it would only hurt him. He also knew that he needed to let go so he just had to see them one last time. Tell them goodbye. Maybe in a few months he’d come visit them, at a happier time. Seeing them laugh again, he would like that very much. It was late, past 9pm. There wasn’t a noise inside, the house seemed quieter than it ever was. He found them sleeping. At least he wouldn’t have to see them sad. They seemed calm like this. He thought it was nice. He sat on the bed that felt like stone and looked at them. He wanted to pat their hair but he couldn’t move them. It felt like the whole room was a giant statue. Except their body were moving slightly as they breathed.
– I’m sorry, he said and automatically started to cry. I’m sorry I had to go so soon. A parent should never see their child die, this isn’t fair. I’m so sorry I wasn’t careful enough and things turned out this way. And I’m sorry that even now I have to go. Seeing you only hurt. I can’t hug you, I can’t comfort you, I can’t do anything now. And I guess it’s better that way. It’s better not to take any risk. I don’t want you to feel my presence. It would only make your pain greater. It would only make your your pain last longer. You need to move on. I know you won’t forget about me so I hope the memories of me you will keep with you are happy and not bittersweet. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.
He talked more but through the tears it wasn’t understandable anymore. He went to another room to cry, afraid that they would somehow hear him. He sat there, his hands covering his face. He was crying and thinking that in this moment he would have wanted to with Vernon. To be comforted, to be held tight. This was all he needed. Suddenly he heard a voice. That wasn’t his parents’ voice. It was his lover’s. He looked through his fingers. He really was at Vernon’s place. Sitting on the sofa.
– Jeonghan ? Vernon asked. Are you okay ? Why are you coming back so soon, my parent’s aren’t even there yet.
Jeonghan jumped on his feet and turned around so that the younger wouldn’t see his red face.
– Yes, I’m fine. I must have teleported on accident bc I thought of being with you too hard.
– You were thinking of me ? Don’t make my heart flutter like that ! But… Hm…
He went behind Jeonghan and pulled him toward his body to back hug him.
– I know you find yourself ugly when you cry so I won’t force you to face me. But you should know you don’t need to hide your pain from me. What happened ?
– I went to say goodbye de my parents… I didn’t want to cry… I told myself I wouldn’t cry but I did…
– You don’t have to always be strong. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay even if it makes you ugly. And I don’t think it makes you ugly really, it reminds us even if you seem to be an angel, there is a side of you that’s human.
– But I’m not a human anymore…
– Yes, true, then you must have finally become and angel ! Can you fly ?
– I don’t know, I never tried.
– HOW COME YOU NEVER TRIED ? I would have tried that first.
– Well I can teleport so why would I try flying ?
– Lazy even in death, it sums you up perfectly.
– YA !
Jeonghan turned around to hit Vernon but started laughing instead. They both laughed for a short time and Jeonghan looked at his lover tenderly.
– Thank you, he said softly.
– Why ?
– For everything. For knowing what to do and what to say, knowing how and when to make me laugh. And most of all thank you for recognizing me.
Vernon leaned in to kiss Jeonghan on the cheek when his phone rang.
– . My parents again.
– Should I go ?
– No. You stay.
He picked up the phone.
– Hello ? Yes… Mom, I’m sorry to [prévenir– you so late but can’t you come another time ? I know. Yes, I know… No, that’s not it. I am with someone and he isn’t doing well, I need to be there for him right now. Yes. Yes, because of my… because of my friend’s death. I am sorry, I know my birthday this year came at such an unlucky time. I’ll come visit you next weekend. Okay. Thank you. Yes, you too, good night.
He put his phone away and went back to what he was doing. Kissing Jeonghan’s cheek.
– Don’t be scared to be sad, and if you feel weak remember we’re here to protect each other. And I am here to protect you.
They sat next to each other and spent the evening talking about their feeling. About what had happened. They didn’t talk about their relationship and the fact that Vernon was dating a dead man. Maybe because it didn’t occur to them, maybe because they didn’t want to deal with the inevitable. Around 2am, they decided to go to sleep. Vernon was authorized not to go to class tomorrow because of Jeonghan’s death so they decided they’d spend the day together. Jeonghan asked if he could sleep with Vernon, because even if he couldn’t admit it, he was scared. He didn’t really know anything about being a ghost or the ghost world. Just being near someone he knows, and even more being near his lover, it enabled him to relax. Vernon obviously said yes. When Jeonghan lied on the mattress, Vernon went to grab the duvet that was rolled into a ball at the leg of the bed. He then proceeded to use it to cover their bodies.
– Here you go~
– It’s weird.
– What is weird ?
– Normally, since I can’t interact with material objects, I would be trapped and unable to move with even just a fabric over me. But right now I can move. And last time, when you tucked me under a blanket, it was the same. I was able to move it.
– Wasn’t it you who said I could see you because of love ? What if you can move what I give you because I put so much love into it ?
– That would make ghosts the cheesiest entities to have ever been created but it would also makes sense.
– I like cheesy.
– Me too. Will you help me figure out what I can and can’t do ? As a ghost, I mean.
– Of course.
– I want to become a professional ghost.
– Professional ghost… I hope the diploma is easier to get than med school.
– DON’T TALK ABOUT MED SCHOOL !
– I know, your long forgotten past that was just last year.
– Well I died in between.
– Touché.
And they slowly started to fall asleep as their bodies were getting tangled.
***
When they woke up Vernon was spooning Jeonghan. Vernon got up first and Jeonghan was trying to open his eyes while muttering incoherent things to himself. After a few minutes they gathered in the small kitchen and started eating a bit. It was 9 in the morning. Vernon got in the shower and when he got out, Jeonghan was half sleeping on his chair, his head on the table, hidden in his arms. Vernon woke him up by playing with his hair.
– Ah, Jeonghan moaned. Let me sleep !
– Wake up, we have the whole day for us, we should make the most of it !
– Can I choose what we do this morning ?
– I would love it. Where do you want to go ?
– It’s a surprise, just follow me !
Jeonghan dragged him outside with a big smile on his face. He seemed to know where he was going and Vernon was following him, asking him from time to time to slow down. At some point the ghost stopped and turned around to face his new boyfriend. There was nothing around but some banks and buildings.
– Why are we here ?
– How would I know. I’m lost.
– What ?!
– I’ve been taking random turns for 10 minutes. I thought maybe we’d end up where I meant to go…
– I thought you knew Seoul well…
– I never knew Seoul at all, my phone knew Seoul ! I always used my phone’s map, without it I’m lost.
– Okay, I get it, I’ll use my phone. Where are we going ?
– It’s supposed to be a surprise !
– How can you even surprise me if you don’t know where we are going ? Just tell me.
– Okay… I wanted to go to Sunrise Bakery. It’s not your birthday anymore but I didn’t get to eat cake with you yesterday !
– Is it because you want to eat cake or because you wish you had properly celebrated your boyfriend’s birthday ?
– Both ?
Vernon always found it cute how much Jeonghan loved food so he laughed.
– I know where this bakery is, it’s like 4 minutes from my apartment, next to the grocery store. You were going the exact opposite direction, it’s amazing how wrong you were !
– YA ! At least I tried !
– Yes, thank you ! Let’s go then !
As they started walking, Jeonghan noticed that people kept staring at Vernon who, to them, was having a conversation with himself. He lost his smile immediately.
– Vernon.
– Yes ?
– If you want to talk to me in public, use the phone call trick. People are staring at you. I don’t like that.
– Okay.
He took his phone to his ear.
– Is it better like this ?
– Yes. Yes it is.
They soon arrived in front of the bakery. Jeonghan was now all excited.
– Vernon, which cake do you want the most ?
They were looking through the shop window where they could see a few cakes carefully displayed. He pointed at a chocolate cake that seemed really creamy.
– Okay ! Now cross the street and wait for me on the other side of the road. Be prepared to run !
– Wait what why ?
With no further explanation, he teleported inside the bakery. He stood in front of the chocolate cake and tried lifting it. After a few attempts, he finally succeeded, took a step back and teleported back outside where Vernon was standing, watching the scene. His plan almost worked out, except when he appeared back in front of his lover, his hands were empty. A breaking noise came from inside the bakery and he didn’t need to see to know what happened. The flying cake fell to the ground and exploded. There were pieces of broken plate and chocolate everywhere on the ground. Jeonghan looked at the mess he made with an embarrassed expression on his face.
– Oops… I guess I can’t teleport with material things. Sorry ?
Vernon sighted and messed Jeonghan’s hair up to cheer him up a bit.
– I guess I’ll have to do it ! Wait for me here.
They went back to his apartment with two big slices of another chocolate cake. They sat on the floor to eat, they liked to eat like that from time to time. They somehow felt closer to each other this way.
They didn’t have any candles to put on the cake. Regardless, Jeonghan sang him happy birthday in this beautiful and warm voice. Vernon thought to himself he must really be an angel and not a ghost. When he was done singing, the younger gave him a round of applause, not able to look away from his boyfriend. Jeonghan never sang to Vernon before and seeing his eyes were so full of admiration and love he started blushing.
– Don’t look at me I’m embarrassed. Blow your candles out.
– There is no candle and there is no way I can look away from you.
– Pretend to blow imaginary candles !
– Why is it the first time I hear you sing ? I wish I could hear you sing more, your voice is so beautiful…
– THE CANDLES !
– There is no candles, should you kiss me instead ?
– What kind of logic is this ?
– Since this is the only wish I would have made, to kiss you, can’t you make it come true without having me blow imaginary candles ?
– I’m not sure if you’re making me cringe or blush but I’ll grant you that wish.
He went to gave him a peck but changed his mind and gave him a real kiss. It was rather quick, but to them it felt like eternity. It felt like nothing could be more perfect. They started eating and Jeonghan was again very excited to be able to eat. Becoming a ghost, he really thought he’d never be able to taste anything again. But here he was eating a birthday cake with his new boyfriend. If he had been betrayed by life, death was being really good to him.
***
They had spent the morning at home but Vernon wanted to go out. He would have liked to show off his new boyfriend but it wasn’t really possible. So he thought of just going somewhere beautiful, maybe a park. Even if it was winter, some parks were pretty regardless of the trees looking dead. He knew one of these parks, it even had a small pond. So they went there together and sat on a bench facing the pond.
– Oh, Jeonghan shout. A duck ! It looks like you ! Duck Vernon ! Nonduck !
– Ya ! I don’t look like a duck !… Or do I ?
He did his cute pouty face and looked at Jeonghan who smiled and gave him a peck on the lips.
– Can’t you warn me when you do this ! I told you not to make my heart flutter like this !
– Sorry, I couldn’t help it you looked too cute.
They laughed. They were comfortable talking like this in public since nobody was there to see them. They were alone in this quiet part environment.
– Say, I saw someone selling bungeoppang nearby… Do you want some ?
– Yes !
– Okay, stay there, I’ll be back shortly !
Of course, Jeonghan didn’t listen and decided to follow Vernon without him knowing. As he was behind Vernon, he tried to scare him. He yelled “boo” and Vernon let out the weirdest scream. Before Vernon could get mad and before Jeonghan could laugh, a boy came running and showed Jeonghan a yellow piece of paper with red writing on it. It was a Buddhist talisman made to keep ghosts away. And it worked. Jeonghan flung in the air across the park and landed violently 70 meters away, against a tree trunk. It took Vernon a few seconds to understand what was going on and when he was about to run to Jeonghan, the mysterious boy grabbed his wrist to stop him.
– There was a ghost, it was following you. I took care of it don’t worry.
– IT IS MY BOYFRIEND YOU ING MORON !
He violently made the unknown man release him and ran to his boyfriend who was lying on the ground.
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