It was yet another cold winter morning. The trees stood . The cold wind was screaming. Everything felt quiet when people were so noisy. He was sitting in a crowded bus, waiting to get to his university. His long light brown hair was tied in low ponytail. His face wasn’t really feminine but with this hairstyle he was used to being mistaken for a girl. His dark eyes were focused on the road but he wasn’t really paying any attention to what he was looking at. He was 20 yet only a first year student. He had wasted two years trying to be a surgeon but couldn’t even pass the first selection after two attempts. So he tried to think about what he wanted to do, what he really wanted to do. And having no idea what the answer to that question was, he ended up here in a generic scientific university. He wasn’t even sure what he was doing there and never really listened to anything any of his professors had to say.  He mostly took naps in the back of the amphitheatre. He was plain bored in life and would have dropped a long time ago if it wasn’t for Vernon. He was another first year student here, except he was 18, straight out of high school. The bus stopped in near the university and as the long-haired boy got off, his face lit up. The smell changed from the mixed sweat of too many people to the nice cold scent of winter. He was early and knew Vernon should already be there. The front of the university consisted of a small park with green grass and some leafless trees. He saw him sitting outside on a bench with two other people. The blonde boy was named Seungcheol and the redhead—who somehow reminded him of a cat—was Joshua. As he got closer, the three waved at him and Vernon yelled, with a heart shaped smile on his face.

– JEONGHAN ! YOU’RE EARLY !

Jeonghan answered only by smiling back with a smile as warm as could be. It suddenly got windy and the wind came from Vernon’s side who tried his best to keep his dark brown hair out of his face. Jeonghan only found his struggle cute. As he got to the bench where they all were waiting, the older kneeled in frond of Vernon who was still fighting the wind. He tucked his hair behind his ears and successfully pinned it in place before laughing softly. His vision now cleared, they were looking at each other for a brief moment. Vernon’s eyes were this beautiful butterscotch color that Jeonghan always wished he could stare at forever. Instead he got up.

– Here you go, he said. You’re not at your best with this hairstyle so take off the pins when we are inside.

Vernon was a bit concerned about how he looked after hearing that and tried to take the pins off right away. Jeonghan gently grabbed his hands before he could do anything.

– Ya, I said when you are inside. ‘You’re not at your best’ didn’t mean you look bad. Even at your worst you’d still be the prettiest so cheer up.

Vernon smiled a bit and lowered his head, embarrassed by the compliment. He moved to his left and pat the bench on his right to signify the older to sit next to him, which he did.

– How can I be the prettiest when there’s someone like you living on this earth, Vernon whispered loud enough for the long-haired man to hear.

– Are you done ? Seungcheol asked, reminding both of them they weren’t alone.

– Leave them be, they are cute, Joshua complained. Look, now the show is over.

And he was right. Jeonghan had now his hand on his left cheek to hide from them that he was blushing. Vernon was looking like he had no idea what they were talking about.

– It’s not my fault you both will never be as pretty as us two ! said Jeonghan out of nowhere.

– WHAT DO YOU MEAN I’M NOT PRETTY, screamed Joshua, truly offended

– I said ‘as pretty’.

– WHAT TO YOU MEAN I’M NOT AS PRETTY, THEN

– WHAT ABOUT ME JOSHUA ? Seungcheol asked seing he was only standing up for himself

Vernon then got into the fight trying to defend Jeonghan who took a step back to look at the war he created.

***

Every Friday at lunch time Vernon and Jeonghan had a habit of eating under the north staircase of the B building. It kinda was their secret rendezvous. It smelled like dust in there but it didn’t bother them that much. Since they spent most of their time with Seungcheol and Joshua so they decided that they’d have some time alone every week so that they could share more serious things. It didn’t mean the discussion was necessarily serious, more that they could feel more comfortable sharing what was going on in their lives when there weren’t too many people around. Even if they had only met 6 months ago but they already deeply trusted each other. They usually would share their food and thoughts and then start to mess around. Their laugh would resonate in such a place so that you could hear them even on the fourth floor. But no one ever went to that part of this building.

Jeonghan got there first and started getting his food out of his bag. Looking inside his bag he smiled nervously.

– I hope Vernon will like it…

– What will I like ?

Surprised, he threw his bag to his side and started stammering.

– I… I… The food ! I meant the food, I hope you will like the food !

– What’s up with you today really, at some point this morning it even seemed like you were interested in the class.

– I wasn’t, I didn’t even listen, I was just thinking and I thought it would make it look as if I care what the teacher was saying. Maybe if I pretend to follow what they say more often they won’t be as harsh on me as they were on the first semester you know.

– It actually makes sense. What doesn’t is… How did you rank 5th at the end of the first semester ? Weren’t you terrible in med school ?

– Let’s not talk of med school. This is a dark part of my past that I have long forgotten.

– It was just last year…

– Shut up.

Vernon glorious laugh resonated around them. After a bit less than an hour they were done with eating. They decided to find the others. They got to the A building, in the refectory, where they found them at the table closest to the heaters.

– JOSHY JOSH, Vernon yelled to catch their attention.

Joshua turned back and waved at him.

– VERNY !

Jeonghan told Vernon to sit near Seungcheol so he could be as near as possible to the radiator. He complained about being cold earlier. The long-haired man then sat next to Joshua who was eating a gigantic slice of cake.

– It looks nice, Jeonghan said looking at the ginger boy’s food.

– Yeah, wanna try some ?

He nodded in response so Joshua gave him a spoonful. He ate it and gave two thumbs up to signify it was good as he was chewing it.

– Oh wait, started Joshua. You have a bit of chocolate curls on your lips… Let me get it for you…

Vernon was watching them and when Joshua’s fingers touched his lips he said, pissed off :

– ah you could have just told him to wipe his mouth. What are you doing acting like you’re the main characters of a romantic comedy ?

– Vernon ?…

The all were looking at him, shocked.

– I said out loud didn’t I…

– Pretty loud yes.

But Jeonghan was happy, as it seemed for a moment like Vernon got jealous. It couldn’t be what happened, right ? But he found it nice to quietly enjoy the possibility it might have been the case.

***

The class just ended and surprisingly, Jeonghan stayed awake the whole time again. He still didn’t listen, he just kept looking nervously inside his bag and mumbling things to himself from time to time. Even now he was still distracted, he didn’t yet realize that everybody left and was still sitting there in the back. He suddenly felt a finger on his forehead, which caused him to jump with surprise.

– I didn’t mean to scare you, Vernon started. You were frowning. Besides you’ve been acting weird the whole class, is something going on ?

He closed his bag in a hurry.

– I’m okay, I’m just a little bit anxious about something I want to do.

– What is it ? You know you can tell me, right ?

– Ah, you will know soon enough. Should I walk you to your bus stop ? I have some time ahead.

– Okay, if you want to.

Jeonghan stood and his face changed quickly to a warmer tone. They talked on the way about upcoming tests and how the second semester was way more intense than the first. Vernon was smaller than him but still kinda tall. They were now near the bus stop and the moment they’d have to split up seemed too soon. So Jeonghan stopped. It took the other two steps to stop too. He walked back to the oldest. Jeonghan was standing just a foot away from the road, in his back he could feel the cars passing by. It was a busy road but they were used to that kind of noise so they didn’t pay any attention.

– What is it ? Vernon asked.

– Uh… You know how your birthday is on Sunday…

– Yes, and ?

– What am I doing, he muttered.

– What ?

– Nothing. Hm… Uh… I am going back to my parents for the weekend so I won’t be there to give you your present.

– You bought be a present ?

Vernon said it with such a joyful voice as he was deeply touched and wasn’t expecting this at all. While he was smiling wide Jeonghan opened his bag and searched inside. Vernon was still curious about one thing.

– Is it why you were nervous ?

– Yes…

He finally found it. Two envelopes and a little pink package with a baby blue bow. After a moment of hesitation, he put the pink envelope back in his bag and gave him his present along with the blue envelope.

– This is for you, Jeonghan said handing it. Don’t open it before your birthday !

Embarrassed he looked to his left to avoid eye contact. Instead of Vernon’s lovely eyes, what he saw was a food delivery motorcycle driving on the sidewalk. Without thinking he pulled Vernon to him. The younger didn’t understand until he heard the vehicle passing behind him. They stood there for a few seconds, their faces so close. Their chests were touching so that they could feel it move when they breathed. Vernon thanked him with a weak voice. Suddenly, he realized he had dropped his present in the confusion but he wasn’t sure if he should move. Jeonghan let Vernon go so that he could breath comfortably but he was still close enough to have his hands touching his body.

– Are you okay ?

– Yes… Jeonghan ?

– Yes ?

– I dropped your present… I’m so sorry, was it easily breakable ?

– It’s okay. Let me see.

He picked it up and took a small step back to make sure only him would see what’s inside. He wasn’t aware his left heel was on the sidewalk edge. Opening the package slightly, he got nervous, thinking Vernon could see. He took another step back. When he stepped on nothing, he quickly realized where he was standing. He lost balance. He bent his back in a desperate attempt not to fall. Seeing his struggle, Vernon tried to grab his waist. He did, but only too late. Jeonghan’s body was leaning over too much towards the road. A truck was passing by. As it hit his head, the horn masked the noise his breaking spine made. Vernon didn’t know yet that the body he now was holding wasn’t alive anymore. He thought it was heavy, he thought he just lost consciousness. He screamed for help, incapable of letting go. He caressed his hair, telling him to wake up only to find blood on his hands. It started to bleed a lot, and he thought he was only injured. He didn’t know he broke his neck. He didn’t know his head injury didn’t matter now, because he was holding a corpse. Vernon scream what such a heartbreaking a painful noise to hear and it seemed like he would only calm down if he passed out.

The present was on the ground. Open. It was a watch. And if the first time it was dropped didn’t break its screen, the second time sure did.