“Soo Jin, I’m sure you’re tired. Many things happened today. You should go rest now.”

I just glared at Min ha’s sleepy face. She’s my savior for today. If she, together with Bom unnie, Seung Ri and Young Bae, haven’t diverted the attention of the media from me and Seung Hyun, we could have never escaped the flashing lights and the never-ending questions of the media.

*flashback*

         “You could have told me from the start Soo Jin, “says Mr. YG, my uncle, who was now looking at me with strong furious eyes with a hint of mercy in it. Seung Hyun might have already told him a little earlier about my disease.

         “You know we’ll support you. But why do you have to do this? Do you really think that this would not hurt him?”

He’s right. I could have hurt Ji Yong by doing this but this is for the best. At least I’ve hurt him for only a short amount of time. When I’m gone, he’ll quickly forget about me and all that we had.

         “I’ll tell the guests not to talk to the media about everything that has happened here. Girls and Seung Ri, help me talk to the media. You know what to do.”

I am proud of my uncle for the many things that he achieved. He could look so strong and so intimidating on the outside but he is a loving and amenable uncle. After all, he has been my family since my parents died. And when I’ve finally decided to be a trainee in his own company, he was filled with delight. That’s the only thing I could do to repay him for all the love that he has given me especially now that I had caused him so much trouble.

         “Uncle, sorry for all the trouble and thank you for everything that you’ve done for me. Please don’t tell Ji Yong yet.”

         “If that’s what you want. Tae Yang, accompany Soo Jin and Seung Hyun on the building okay? We’ll see you there after we’re done with this.”

I’m about to turn my back on him when…

         “Soo Jin, we still have things to talk about, okay? Just rest for a while.”

*end of flashback*

         “Min ha, you should be the one sleeping now. You look really worn-out. “

         “Oh no Soo Jin. You’re the one who’s more tired than me after everything that you’ve gone through. Why did you hide it from us? You know that we’re sisters right? We are family.”

I have to do it. I don’t want them to hurt also.

I held MIn ha’s hand and said, “Min ha, I am really grateful of all that you and the rest have done for me. But please don’t tell it yet to Ji Yong, okay?”

I heard Min ha moan for a moment. Maybe she is feeling skeptical about this but I know that I could trust her on this one.

         “Okay okay! By the way, Seung Ri and Seung Hyun Oppa bought foods for us. Bom unnie and Tae Yang will be back after their promotional activities. Jun Hee has another appointment and… I already told Nam Ji about everything. She said she’s coming back soon enough to spank your . Haha… hmmm… I think that’s all you need to know. I’ll leave you here for a moment okay?”

         “You should go rest now Min Ha!”

She just grinned at me as she headed to her room. Funny how her eyes would almost disappear when she’s grinning like that.

I converged myself on the television as I changed channels when I came across MYX. I am currently watching  Bom unnie’s MV of You and I. It’s ironic how I can now identify to the man’s situation on her vid.

I can’t help but to remember Kwon Ji Yong.

It’s been a long time since I’ve known him. Who could have guessed that we were childhood friends?

We grew together in our small town at Beijing, China. We were always playing together until their family has to move in Seoul, Korea for better living. I was left alone.

         “Mama says that we could still see each other when your family moves in Korea too. Don’t worry Ahn Soo Jin, I’ll never forget you. We’ll be friends forever.”

I can still remember his sadness on that day. He wiped my dripping tears as he wiped his.

         “Ahn Soo Jin, you’re such a cry baby! How can I leave you like this?”

         “Then don’t leave me! Or else I’m gonna destroy Mikito.”

         “You won’t do that. We made Mikito together."

He smiled at me and that’s enough to stop me from sobbing.

         “Just come back for me, okay?”

         “I will!”

And then he hugged me as I pour out my loneliness to him as he will be leaving me.

 

         “Soo Jin, wake up.”

I woke up. I have dreamed of the past... the start of it all. If he never left me, I would never know that I hunger for his presence.

         “TOP, where’s my Mikito?”

Seung Hyun searched the living room for a pink stuffed toy until he finally saw it under the sofa.

         “Maybe it fell while you were sleeping.”

         “Jin noona, you have tears under your eyes again.” Seung Ri told me with a worried voice.

         “You better wipe it now, Soo Jin. Where’s Min Ha by the way?”

         “She’s sleeping in her room. You could wake her up Seung Ri.”

Seung Ri chuckled at the thought as he headed to Min Ha’s room. Min Ha's number one fan, Seung Ri, has always been there to support his TOP hyung's sister. Oh poor Seung Ri... Min Ha's heart belongs to someone else already.

Now that I am alone with Seung Hyun, it finally came across my mind that what happened this morning was all a reality.

         “Seung Ri Oppa, I am so sorry for everything that I’ve been causing you lately.”

         “So when are you going to tell him about all of this? When are you going to tell the truth?”

         “Well… I don’t intend to tell him yet. You have to wait until I….”

I haven’t finished my sentence when he pulled my downward face up so that I could face him properly.

        “You won’t die! Why are you reacting this way? Didn’t the doctor told you that you’re going to undergo therapies for you to get better?”

He was there when he found out about my sickness. He was the one who rushed me to the hospital when I passed out after that dreadful encounter with Ji Yong.

         “Yes. To be better for just a small amount of time and then what, Oppa? “

I have to keep my composure as I wait for him to answer. When no words came out of his mouth, I look at him in the eye and tell him, “You have to accept the fact that soon enough, I won’t be around all of you anymore. You all have to be strong for yourselves.”

         “Why can’t you just be strong for Ji Yong?”

         “Ji Yong… he…. D-don’t you think that I’m already strong enough for me to leave him?”

         “You haven’t left him yet! You’re just running away."

         “I’m not!”

         “Yes you are!”

         "I am not!”

         “Yes you..”

His phone suddenly rang. Who could it be at this time?

         “Yes hello? Oh… yes… yes… she’s here… here.”

He glared at me before giving his phone to me.

         “It’s Nam Ji . Let’s eat after you’re done talking with her okay? I’ll go to Min Ha and Seung Ri first.”

I answered him with a defiant stare. Oh Seung Ri! Sometimes you’re a pain in the for arguing with me always. I let out a deep sigh before talking to unnie.

         “Nam Ji?”

         “Yah! Soo Jin, what happened to you? Suddenly telling me you’re getting married and now it has been canceled?! What’s going on???”

I distanced my ears from the phone upon hearing her loud voice. You just can’t stop Nam Ji from hitting you with words when she’s in a shock. She’s always been like this ever since she started pursuing her career at France. I guess it runs from the blood. I suddenly remembered her big sister, Bom unnie, who can talk the way that she also talks.

         “Nam Ji, you could ask me one question at a time.”

         “Okay. Ahn Soo Jin, have you told Ji Yong already about your sickness?”

I paused for a moment.

         “Yah!”

         “Sorry Nam Ji. Can we just not talk about him first?”

         “Oh you’re such a brat, Soo Jin! Since when did you not like talking about him?”

         “Since…. *sigh* you know when! Gaahhhh! Nam Ji, Min Ha told you everything already right? Why are you suddenly repeating your questions again?”

I heard someone from the background of the line calling her name.

         “Shoot! Soo Jin, I promise you I’m going to go home there as soon as I’m done here okay? You take care or else! Bye Soo Jin.”

And the line went off. I grabbed Mikito’s clothed hands and thought. Here I am about to die and yet I’m still worrying at that one person that mattered most to me.