Being in a super busy group makes seven young men have no romance life. Their life cycle involves only practicing, performances, fan signing, variety shows, music shows, photo shoots and back to the dorm. They only are able to secretly glance at girl groups when they were in the same shows. But no other movements are allowed from the company.

Yoo Kihyun was a very friendly young idol. He loves to show off because he has full confidence in himself. But just same as his fellow member, he has no romance life yet he likes to spoil his ideal type girl which is cute, kind and looks good in hanbok. What media doesn't know is that the person he is talking about is his own leader, Shownu.

Shownu is a kind and cute leader (their fans will totally agree with him) and looks good, really good in hanbok (when he wore it on Lunar New Year). He couldn't believe himself either. Yoo Kihyun was totally sure he was straight because he used to have a girlfriend before debut. Yet his mind and heart betrayed him cruelly. He realized that he had this massive crush (he actually hates the idea of using massive crush) on his own leader. They met during No Mercy ( one of survival singing contest) and left a weird impression to each other. Why weird? Between huge admiration and competitive atmosphere equals weird. But for Kihyun, it got weirder because he soon developed a feeling towards his leader. His curiosity and brave nature defeated his pride and he started to approach Shownu but to no avail as Shownu turned out to be a shy and reserved kind of guy and perhaps not the type who loved being approached aggressively. Kihyun felt dejected and backed off and chose to hang around with Wonho, Jooheon, or Changkyun. But his admiration doesn't stop ...

Shownu was a cool and calm guy. His passion was music and dance. Sometimes, when things got harder, he didn't know if he still has passion in music or dance. He almost debuted but there were so many things happened and he ended up being back dancer. But a door of opportunity opened for him. He joined No Mercy. He met new people and made friends with some of them. Despite his shy and reserved nature, he actually is a friendly person. The shy and detached personality that made him difficult to be close with everyone. He knew Yoo Kihyun from this competition. This talented guy that has his own persona which made him confused. It's a weird feeling. Between admiration of his singing talent and all, and competitive nature he has and Kihyun has which ended up being awkward towards each other. Kihyun once tried to approach him but he, due to his shy personality and also his determination to be serious in this competition, made him rejected Kihyun's good intention to be close to him. Shownu had to focus and since he is also a singer and Kihyun is a singer, it makes him harder to trust him since this was a survival competition. That's why he chose to hang around with Kwangji, Minhyuk or Jooheon. But deep down inside, his admiration doesn't stop...

When they debuted, things got more awkward and uncomfortable. They spent one year to adjust to each other. Kihyun who still has a crush on Shownu had to repress his feeling because it's too risky to be known by his bands, company, manager, and fans. Especially by Shownu himself. Kihyun eventually became awkward with his leader. This situation was getting worse since they are designated as "mom" and "dad" of the group which requires them to have close interaction. The members like to joke around and yet they were still trying their best to follow their roles even sometimes Kihyun wonders how Shownu must've felt to be forced something that he doesn't like. He knew that Shownu is not a touchy kind of person. He only becomes one whenever he's with Minhyuk ( he is very close to Minhyuk since No Mercy because Minhyuk is a very friendly friend who can get along with anyone easily). Somehow, Minhyuk as a media social observer knew what their fans like. He convinced his fellow member and leader to just follow what their fans like, being paired as fan service (like any other group in the universe of Kpop do). Hyungwon and Wonho are selected to be the most voted pair by their fans, followed by Shownu and Minhyuk who didn't bother to show skinship (with Minhyuk's initiative) and Jooheon and Changkyun as maknae line pair. Kihyun himself was selected with Shownu the most by their fans because of the title as "mom" of the group must be paired with "dad" of the group. And it somehow made them even more awkward. To Kihyun, because even though he likes it to be paired with Shownu, he must keep his distance to make his hyung comfortable enough with him. And to Shownu, it gets awkward because he simply doesn't like to be paired with anybody.

Maybe karma does exist.

With their comeback ALL IN, Kihyun and Shownu get along pretty well. In front of the camera, they start to get comfortable. Off camera too. There is still a distance between them and they can not be as close as other but it's better compared to their debut era. All the whole time, Shownu paid attention to Kihyun. How hardworking he is, outside their activities and in the dorm. He can not deny that he feels less burdened in the dorm when Kihyun is around. He completes what's lacking from Shownu in taking care of their younger members in a motherly way (not the soft kind of motherly way but more like scolding motherly way).

Shownu always asks opinion from Hoseok and Minhyuk who naturally are good in leading people but he also sometimes asks Kihyun's opinion regarding their members. That's why he feels more and more comfortable with Kihyun.

The more Shownu thinks, he doesn't really like when Kihyun has to work by himself outside their group schedule. He is usually around and it feels weird when he is not around or not with them, doing things together. Shownu shushes his thought away that said something horribly disturbing. He keeps a safe distance with Kihyun and sometimes feels like tongue-tied whenever they sit just by themselves. They often need other members to sit and interact with each other. It's more comfortable that way. Whenever they can talk by themselves is when Shownu personally asks an opinion or something important needs to be discussed alone with Kihyun. Nowadays, as he stated in one of the shows that he saw Kihyun is getting cooler and prettier, he meant it. Every single word. He does notice the changing in Kihyun's appearance. He still has that sharp feature in his face but also more delicate and prettier and makes Shownu's heart beats faster. He often secretly look at Kihyun or just a quick glance after they get their make up done. Kihyun doesn't realize but how in Shownu's eyes, his lips get rosier, his moles get more attractive, and his smile gets cuter day by day.

Shownu is anxious now.

As they ended up their performance in Los Angeles, the members decided to spend their times differently. Like today, Hyungwon and Wonho went shopping, Jooheon and Minhyuk went to the beach and Changkyun simply wanted to visit his friend around LA accompanied by one of their managers.

Kihyun decided to stay in the room because he felt a bit unwell and because Shownu, sternly ordered him to take a rest. So he slept during the day.

Shownu, who at first decided to go with Hyungwon and Wonho, canceled his decision and stayed in his room. He wanted to make sure Kihyun isn't alone while resting.

At 8 pm, the members and managers are still nowhere, Kihyun gets up and takes a shower. He feels refreshed. He was sulking when Shownu told him to rest but now he is thankful to the thoughtful leader that sternly asked him to rest. He feels better now and ... hungry ...

He quickly put his clothes when he hears someone knocking on his door.

"Yes?" Kihyun answers.

"Kihyun-ah. It's me." Shownu replies back.

"Yes, wait a minute hyung." He hurriedly combs his hair and sprays fragrance. Put on some bb cream and lip balm. Then he opens the door.

Shownu, with his navy snapback, navy jacket, and grey T-shirt plus ripped jeans make him look very cool and casual.

"Hyung, I thought you were out with others," Kihyun asks while giving him a signal to enter his room.

"How are you?" Shownu doesn't even bother to reply but put his hand over Kihyun's forehead.

That's why members love him and adore him. Apart from his cool, detached and expressionless exterior, Shownu has a loving heart that he rarely shows to everybody. Only to his close friends. He has his own caring way that he shows to equally.

Kihyun just nods. "I'm better hyung."

Shownu comments, "That's good. Are you hungry?"

"YES, HYUNG!" Kihyun exclaims happily.

Shownu chuckles. "Ok, let's have dinner downstairs. The food in this hotel is no joke."

Kihyun nods in agreement. He puts his hotel sandal and joins Shownu who is already outside. They walk closely and sometimes their hands brush to each other's. Kihyun secretly glances at Shownu who doesn't budge or looks disturbed.

After they arrive downstairs, Shownu drags him outside in the balcony of the hotel. The view of the balcony was to the swimming pool that was decorated with attractive lightings. It was a bit dark but somehow comfortable and romantic. Then Shownu drags him to a table. There are also another people on the balcony chatting with a soft tone.

They sit and Shownu asks for a waiter. "Let's order," He says to Kihyun.

Kihyun nods. The situation is too romantic. The lightings of the swimming pool and dim light with candles in a flowery jar make his heart flutters. But he knows it's Shownu. The manly man, straight man who probably just wants to have dinner as a member. This romantic situation is purely coincidence.

"Feels like a honeymoon, right?" Shownu says after they order.

Kihyun only chuckles.

On their way downstairs, they met a fan who hysterically shouted, 
"Oh no, oh no! You're together?? Shownu oppa, Kihyun oppa, ARE YOU ON HONEYMOON? DATING??!" and the hotel security must drag her outside because she started to disturb other guests.

"You know, hyung, the more fan service we give, the more they are having delusion. I know it's necessary for us to gain new fans but sometimes, aren't you tired of faking around?" Kihyun questioned Shownu.

Shownu is staring at him now. He is clearing his throat. Just when he is about to reply Kihyun's statement, the waiter comes bringing their order. Now when they are silently enjoying their meal, Shownu cuts a chunk of beef and feeds Kihyun.

Kihyun happily bites the beef. He smiles cutely.

This is why Shownu couldn't be together alone with Kihyun. He fears that Kihyun will hear his heart that's beating so hard and faster now. It feels and sounds like a hammer in his chest. Shownu has no other explanation. This crazy voice inside his mind, this horrible truth that he is trying to sweep away, is attacking his mind again.

Shownu, who has lost his appetite, puts his knife and fork down. He enjoys watching Kihyun eats his meal deliciously. Some call him overweight or plump but to Shownu, he is still tiny and also sweet just like chocolate cake (he stated this when a fan asked him to describe Kihyun in food term). He knows how hard he must accept the reality that karma does exist. He used to deject this guy but now, he will not be able to do that. He wants to stay comfortable like this, looking at his face and enjoying times with him.

Kihyun who realizes Shownu has stopped eating, looking at him in a quizzical expression. "Hyung? What's wrong?"

Shownu takes a deep breath. "Kihyun-ah?"

"Yes?"

"I like you a lot."

Kihyun widens his eyes in disbelief. His brain seems to stop working completely but oddly, he can still hear those words repeats over and over like a mantra in his mind. I like you a lot ... I like you a lot ...

"And I like you as a man, not as a member or your leader ... Yoo Kihyun, I like you....."

Kihyun doesn't understand until now how on earth his leader has guts to confess to him. It's not like Kihyun hates it. No, he feels like punching himself because it's too good to be true ...

His straight and manly leader confessed to him ...

It's not a fanservice...

There was no camera, no audience, no other members ...

Only him, Shownu hyung, and Kihyun himself ...

The End 

a/n

Hi hello annyeong

Welcome to Shownu and Kihyun's world ...

Do you enjoy the story? Your comments are warmly welcomed.

Thank you for reading. I'd like to hear any suggestion for next chapter. What genre do you want to read? I'll put that into consideration when I make another title for this book of Showki.

Go get Showki-ed ...hihihihihi ...

[ oh my, this is my debut fanfic! at 15/9/18 was edited.]