When everything went cold at cafeteria Hayi felt bored at her room, she woke up after the effect of sleeping pill had gone. She still feel weak and all she did was gazing her ceiling. Hospital never very pleasant place. She rose her body and sat there like someone who had lost her country. She was the type who couldn't stay still and had explorer side of her.

She looked at her right and left on the corridor after she opened her door and closed it after she decided for a light walking. When you woke at the middle of night you just can't seem to sleep again.

Like the lost child she peeked at different room, what could possibly brought them in there? She arrived at second floor main hall, it was quite but quite at hospital is a rare scene that ever staff there enjoyed this silence. She smiled every time she saw a nurse or a doctor Hayi remember her brother Yunhyung and never thought that he had really hard job like this. He was blessed she thought.

With the hospital pyjama she looked like teenager students, she observed this and that what room and looked around to killing time. Suddenly a voice stopped her step, very familiar voice. It was Choi Junhong she just talked with her like yesterday -she could not remember perfectly- she turned her head back to make sure it was him and it was really him. Hayi smiled so warmly to him maybe because she found a friend in a strange place.

They sat in the most corner place, it was their instinct since all of them worked on entertainment industry. At least she had worked before.

"What are you doing here?" She asked Choi Junhong as she saw her looking fine and fit. Without all the infusion follow him around and the funny looking pyjamas he wore on.

"Medical check-up." Hayi opened understand, she had to take care of Jaewon appointment every three times a month. Hayi looked for his manager as he showed up alone. "He gone for something, I guess he gone dating. He left me with car when I could not drive alone." He made a sound of a click by his tounge disbelief and smile.

Hayi remember how warm this friend were, they were not close but Hayi helped him whenever he needed help. Hayi was like a hero for him. A women hero. Hayi always admire his determine because he took all the bullies without complaint at all. He smiling still that made Hayi created a warm image on him.

It was very strange that they we're not awkward at all despite Hayi was an awkward person and Junhong was a shy guy. The memorize all the event when they were high school and laugh at their silliness.

The silence of hospital never tired to distract them, so they follow the silence.

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'Junhong, you should follow your dream. Whatever it is. I support you. Always.'

Those words were never left my memory. I still remember everything the path of our home, how many street food courts we always passed all the meaningless conversation we ever had.

First day of school never been easy, everything was new to you. It feels so strange and so uncomfortable. The moment I placed my feet after the school fence I knew that my decision to enter this school was wrong, I got the scholarship and this is the top school that considered in university so I accepted without words.

The air was different too here, all the eagle eye stare at you from head to toe, there we're kids that pretend the world was in their hand because their parents financial. That was ridiculous actually, I never give respect to person like them. The look of face when I looked at them bothered them so much like so irritated, I could tell. That was how I was an object of their bulk and bluff. Disrespect kids. Fight them just very unwise there were many reason I did not fight back first, I could expelled -they'll control the school- second, it was unworthy. So that was how my day spend. Just for three years, just for three years.

It was hard to make friends, obviously but my mission was to survive from this, friend will come eventually. That was my naive thoughts, everyone need friend but who wants to be your friend when you could not give them financial benefit? No one.

Months were enough to search a 'save' place in the rest time. My favourite place was on the janitor rooftop room, where they placed all the mops and brooms. It was quite there and you can literally observed everything. I actually avoid the bullies as much as possible they never found me here.

One usually day the ball rang for rest. I was on my way to the rooftop when the bullies saw me, I had to play hide and seek a little before I climb to the roof. That rooftop was so old, not very firm not looking want to fall either, so compatible with the use of the room. No one actually wanted to even pass by there only some Juniators. That day at my favourite spotted, exactly under tree -so I could shelter- sat a girl, brown hair girl with a ponytail she tied carelessly. I did not belief in ghost beside I knew who was she.

She was a loner just like me, her shirt rumpled and her neck tie was loosen, her uniform was little bit big in her size, contrast with other girl with all those tight blazers. She was not too bright, she always avoid questions from teacher also all her grades was not satisfying at all but she still could pass with that grades. I actually thought that she just like me; abandoned child with no power or money. So I tried to approach her. She was surprised by my movements and broke her daydream. She gasp with those little mouth she has her skin was pale, just like mine.

'Hullo' I smiled at her and she bowed. This girl is different with her movement she was not rush, nor slow, weird that with all those boyish look, she was an elegant girl, classy.

'I am so sorry, I did not mean to take your place. But it looks pretty comfy and I can observ everything from here." She said with deep voice, it is the first time I heard her voice even we were classmates.

"Yes, I like it here. So quite." I tried to sit next to her, she didn't bother to look at me only gazing out.

"Are you hiding?" She spoke after moment of silence.

"From the bullies? I admitted I am. I just want to avoid problems you know. You can call me coward whatever." This comfortable moment brought you to open with someone new, I was a shy guy I did not talk with girl a lot I could tell she was different. She was not talkative I could lead the conversation as much as I want. I will predict she will tell me a coward, running away from those rats was a coward act, I figured but better to called coward than to face problems that add my opportunity to get expelled.

"Very wise." She was so calm when she said this. I quite surprised. Still without look at me or change her deep tone. "Ming Kyu is a pig with all those muds, so greedy with all his power his parents have." Silence fill the air, wind embrace us and the yellow leaves fell. "Victim of bullies had to stay strong, the stronger he/she the harder bullies will hurt you. Hiding is a very wise decision." This girl probably not that smart students but I was sure she was well educated.

"They had caught me tho, once or twice got my legs and heads bleeding. Really something they are 'eh?" I tried to be as friendly as possible I just tried to make friend with someone who had visions as me. I am not good at opening conversation so we both fall into silence.

"But still, you should do things you thing right, escape at this and dismissed lunch was not very healthy, you should eat to energized your thoughts so you can concentrate well on study. Your grades keep you here." I did not know how to respond, I was suddenly embarrass by all those words. The feeling of making friend disappear like a wind. I know that she and I should not become a friend. All the friendly tone of my voice changed without I realized, it turned out to be more formal. "There's a place in cafeteria that always empty. All students here need to have 'group' so they were not seen as weak. That table is a weak spot no one will sit there, no one will get close. Finish your meal there, I always noticed that you could not concentrate in study. It will bad to your life here." She stood elegantly, once again wind blew to both of us this time little bit harder that I closed my eyes afraid if some insect enter. When I opened my eyes she stood far away from me. She smile so bright, that cold gaze, the deep voice suddenly was not found at her, very sweet with the fall weather her presence was too aesthetic she was an art.

Tomorrow morning I always thinking about what she said, I did always feel hunger at afternoon class, I sometimes bring bread or a box of milk but it wasn't enough to energize my body and my mind. Besides, she said she will wait i don't understand what she meant but reject his offer will quite impolite. 'No one will be there' is that trustworthy words I peeked at her afraid to get caught she was there sitting looking pretty bored.

Home is far away, I should prepare early in morning. Making food to bring to school will take times surely will wait. Mother had to do several jobs, there and that she always insisted to get up to make me food but I also insisted that she should sleep in the morning. Should I belief this girl or no? I don't know but lunchtime approaching soon and I was hungry.

I brace myself and came to cafeteria with tray full of food I searched where she meant and I found an empty table. I know that every eyes now were watching me. I did not bother. I walk straight to that table. I placed my food and ready to eat, but Min Suk and his gang approaching, I kinda shake but I couldn't show but the girl from yesterday showed up and placed her foot in front of mine. She sat and face that cold stare to Min Suk.

"Do you want something, Lim Min Suk?" Her gaze was so tense, she looked like crushed all the soul MinSuk had.

"Nothing." It was a rare situation, he flee like a jet and that was the beginning of that odd friendship. I know where my place were, though she and I were close but there a circle in her life I couldn't be part of.

I was pretty grateful that I gained friends thanks to her, my classmates were turned friendly to me, I always help them with their difficulties at science work or at maths or other subject. They don't use me but seriously ask for my help and after we found the answer together they always showed genuine smile at me. I feel so welcome thanks to her once again.

Hayi and I always talk when lunch, in class I have to focus learning. Now my mission to go to school to get some lunch. We actually did not talk much, she was not talkative and I too shy to get pretty comfortable around her. I did not know where she was at second recess the first time she visited me on the roof was the last time she visited, but I have no right to curious she was with another friend she need to help probably. She was nice person and I belief it is not only me who had problems.

One spring she walked me home, she always picked by his car and she said at that time that she wanted to clear her mind. Our path indeed in same direction, she and I walked under the spring tree, at the side of the road colours of purple, pink and yellow dominated harmonized with our chit chat talk and very old jokes. I always thought that her house will so big but I was wrong, it was a modern with countryside touch, at the outside you could tell that it was very cosy inside. It has two floor or so it looked. The garden was huge tho, maybe her mother likes flowers. The wall was pale white, the colour you could find in beach side house at the Greece. So fancy yet so friendly.

I should walked a bit far to find the main road to use a second bus, home so far away. I had told.

Rain fell so hard and I was trembled, my eyes wet both from tears and from rain. I was in front of her house very scared. I prayed every second that passed I was very scared. Someone finally showed up, after she got closed it was Hayi herself with transparent umbrella she looked worried sick. Second after her two brothers followed.

"Hayi, help me. My mother at the hospital and they won't handle her if I did not fill the regulation." I couldn't speak right as I was shake too much. I did not know what happen next but she took my hand and brought me in. She gave me a long coat to wear, and we drive to the hospital with his brother's car. Their parents were at another country. I couldn't remember of how I ended up at his brother car also but I remember that it was feel like very long drive I also remember how she hold my hand and calm me down.

My mother finally sleep soundly. Her family took care everything and she won't let me know. She said the only thing I should know was to take care of my mother well.

When finally mother got discharged Hayi and I brought her at our house. She hold my mother tight and I carry the stuff. For repay I walked her home. In that summer night we talked a lot of stuff, like what we want to be later after we graduated or what university will we enter. I ended up tell everything, she was introverted so hard to gain her information.

"I want to be an astronaut." I said chuckle. Of course I was kidding but I wonder what her reaction.

"Really? Great, I always like Venus." I smiled at that kind of response.

"Why?"

"I just like it. The name, I like it." And I nodded as I understood. She liked Venus.

"Junhong, you should follow your dream. Whatever it is. I support you. Always."

The third year of school or my last year here was couldn't be more perfect. Minsuk still hunt me down, but I was not his focus anymore as junior showed up and it was really tender pray of his. I got accepted at Basketball club, they offer me thanks to my tall proportion. I remember Hayi always lift her head when he talked to me, I also always about her height. She was pretty cute when he sulked. I also hanged out with basketball club now, I feel like blend in well right now.

It could be more perfect if Hayi keep around. I barely seen her now. I did not know where or what she doing at our free time.

Lunch time approaching at that time, I did not eat at the 'weak spot' table anymore as I entered Basketball club three months ago. I finally saw her ate with one of her friend, just two of them I was ready to join them and stood but suddenly a guy approached them and sat beside Hayi. They looked pretty natural there, chit chatting, laughing and smiling, so comfortable. I feel strange feeling suddenly when the guy who just approaching fixed Hayi's hair when she ate. It was natural, no denial movement of Hayi no shy movement from the guy, and from the outside everyone clearly could tell there was something between them.

"Jealous?" My captain observed me without I noticed, maybe because it was obvious that I gaze at another side of the cafeteria little bit too intense.

"No, how could I?" I said to my captain. I was not jealous and I was sure at my feeling. Hayi just like my sister that I should protect anytime. Maybe I used to her presence around me that it was strange to see him pretty intense with someone else.

"If I we're you. I will." I pursed my eyebrow. He noticed that I look confused and he smiled. Kyumin was a sweet guy but I just did not know that he had feeling for her. I did not see how. "We were pretty close before. My parents were very busy business women and man. They rarely bring me to sleep or eat even at holidays. That kind of child ended pretty lonely and had trouble with temper." I nodded as agreement. Kyumin was so firm, just look at him you could be intimidated but after you know him it was just a cover up as he was pretty sweet and kind person. She has no problem with tamper so far. "No one will be friended with a child like that. Even teacher avoid that kinda kid." He continue and I could tell he already lost in nostalgia. I pay attention so well. "But a little girl was not afraid with me. I had a friend, a little girl. My childhood friend. She introduced me with many new things in the world even when we still eight years old. Loving, Caring, Daring she taught me all of that. One day I went to her house and it was pretty addicting. Their family was so nice. I belief her mother DNA pour into hers. My new perspective had been open I tried to make friends and I got plenty, or lots but she still the same a girl who liked to be alone but had so many friends, like you immediately came to her when you need help. As we grew up, we ended up turn into stranger but we still in contact. Besides why do you think we offer you a position? Well besides your tall proportion of course. She told me not to tell you so don't tell her I told you. God, this is complicated. She indeed complicated. Who knows you are pretty good at basketball? She just like an alchemist." He ended up his story with chuckle and sad eyes I did not know why he looked sad but change immediately when he looked at me. We smile each other and continue eating but today I realized something great; she was a butterfly she fly alone but so many places to stay so many wings will welcome her at that place. A very beautiful butterfly.

"Taesung, do you who is he?" Kyumin seems wonder about the guy just like me, he asked Taesung who like reporter in the school, he also a basketball player a very tall figure. Taesung and I followed the direction Kyumin pointed out with his head, right into Hayi's place.

"Jung Jaewon? Ah, he is in theatre club. He is famous even outside school. They have been that close scene first year. I did not know that they are in relationship now. I don't know about that. Hayi is introverted it was hard to get information from her."

"You could tell." Kyumin agreed. "Where is he came from?" Kyumin seemed wonder about his background thank God he was because I also wonder. Who the guy could get Hayi's heart?

"His parent do you mean?" Kyumin nodded."I don't know." I and Kyumin tilt our head. Taesung chuckled with our stupid confused looking on our face. "He just like you." He pointed at me. I did not catches what he meant. "Scholarship." Now I figured, that girl was really something. I kinda felt something wedge in my heart, how he could get Hayi's heart if he also just like me.

'Jealous?' I did not know why that word kept following me around it felt like it was written on the street I passed, every bus window I rode on, imprinted on snow on houses roof. I was not jealous how could I? My feeling for her genuinely a feeling for friend I never looked at her like that. Do I love her? No I don’t. How could I? After all she has done for me? I am no worthy for her I knew, but he was not worthy for her also, how he could get her heart? He just like me? A usual man who was not rich like me. This was bothering I don't like her like that but I was bothered the fact that she was with someone else unworthy like me.

"Junhong~~~~" someone yelled my name from behind. Hayi stood next to me run out breath. She looked so tired after run, how could I did not noticed her? "Did you put earphone on your ear?" She asked between those breaths she barely get.

"No. I am sorry. I space out. You must be so tired. I am so sorry." I apologize very deeply and mean it. She looked so tired because she wanted to cached me. Walked with me.

"Never mind, besides I feel warm now, it is so cold." She show that smile, that smile I have been missed lately. Like magic I also smile hypnotized by hers. She and I walked side by side now again, with small steps because I did not want to end this soon.

"Have you been thinking about what university you will enrolled?" I open the conversation, the winter wind blew us and she shivered and tighten her scarf.

"Secret." This girl seriously so hard. I knew that if she said so, then she doesn't want to tell. Introvert person was a riddle. She quite, did not bother to ask me. We walked in silence again, I enjoyed even it was only wind heard. The white road glow her face that time, made her look very dreamy girl from fairy tale.

"Hayi, how could I repay you with my mother's treatment? I belief it costs a lot." She stopped suddenly and I looked confused at her. She pursed her eyebrow and looked tense the glow from her face disappeared. I suddenly felt nervous, she looked offense.

"Junhong, how could you say that? I did it because of you and your mother. Someone was in great pain. I should help her and you are my friend. You talked to me like bank officer Junhong." Crap, she was so mad I could tell, I gulped and so down. I guess this was the first time she angry.

"I did not mean like that Hayi." I faced and looked at her miserably. I deeply sorry.

"Do not think about it. Do not even ever mention it." She finally looked at me with that eyes and I knew that she was not angry anymore. I smiled and nodded very fast. She smiled back at me. "You are my friend and friends help each other." There was a pause on that moment or maybe it was just me that felt like that moment was so strange. If it was allowed, I really wanted to hug her so bad, under that white branch tree, on the white road and in quite winter leading to our house.

I took back that intention and distract myself, we continued walking and I should look for the other subject.

"What we're you thinking? When you said you were spacing out?" It was odd that she wondered about me. She rarely open a conversation, I couldn't say I was thinking about you. Suddenly the thought of the guy appear on my thoughts I really wanted to ask her but I couldn't even that question was on tip of my lips. "Some stuff, university and test." I lied.

"Liar." I showed my confused face and she showed teasing smile. "Yoo reum, You we're thinking about her isn't" why suddenly I felt so embarrassed? How did she knew I have been eyeing her lately? Was that obvious? She elbowed me and continued teasing me. "I know, you have been look at her lately, secretly, I saw Junhong. I felt little jealous tho, when teacher always asked to pair in biology class, my first choice was you but sad that YooReum was always faster than me." Is that how she felt about me?

"Why don't you just tell me?"

"You looked pretty happy when you around her. I just don't want to bother your happiness." She smiled but I confused. I did not understand.

We continued walking on that silence road it was pretty confusing at that moment, world spinning around and my centre was lost. I confused, yes I was. What feel actually I feel when i was around her, when i was next to her, i always wanted this world stop spin. Stop time. I did not want any third party in our conversation but why she was the one who brought her, and it was more confusing that she thought I liked that girl. Strange, I indeed like YooReum, she was beautiful and bright. In contrast with her. Did I betray her?

We back to our normal talk, I did not want to bother about feelings with her, it just like playing with fire. And that's how our past, until we we're graduated and I lose her contact. Until I saw her father news on newspaper, I saw the news about Jaewon almost made a girl hit by a car, he and I ended in the same industry and I knew that they were broken up. Funny how few years Iater I saw her became her ex-boyfriend manager. Life is funny indeed.

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