[R] _fduptricks: Low Tolerance.
~BUBBLY G.S~ (HIATUS/HIRING TRAILER MAKER)AUTHOR: PenguinLOvers772 STORY TITLE: Low Tolerance.
Title (08/10): As cute as the title is, I don't think it matches. Neither of them seem to be drunk enough not to remember what the two of them just did.
Characterization (05/10): Since there are basically only two characters, I only gave you whole points on Jongin. I feel like you took more time to describe his character whereas with Kyungsoo I saw little effort.
Themes (02/10): I took off a lot of points because this has absolutely nothing to do with fluff. I'm pretty sure you would end up scaring a person who was looking for fluff. Don't include themes that really don't apply to your story because it's misleading.
Setting (04/10): Your setting was way too vague and out of place. There were times that I didn't understand it all. For example, for Jongin to be able to hear the doorbell in his shower from probably the second floor of a big mansion is illogical.
Description and Foreword (10/10): It's rare for me to find a nice straightforward description that sums the the story.
Writing Style / Techniques (06/10): As much as I enjoy that occasional break of the third wall, I found your style to be cramped. It seemed like that you rush way too much like you were maneuvering over awkward moments with getting on to the next scene. However there were other times that you did a steady pace. This earned you the points back.
Presentation (03/10): Somewhat neat but a bit squashed. Also I cannot give points for a story without graphics.
Structure and Flow (05/10): Do you notice that your paragraphs are mainly run on sentences? I could feel my head swirling after digesting so much information at once. Also your flow was choppy especially when trying to move from one scene to another.
Plot (07/10): Like you said in the first line of your description and chapter one, this whole plot is cliche. I can't begin to tell you how many stories I've read that share a similar plot.
Overall Enjoyment (10/10): As much as of a cliche plot line it has, I admit I did crack a smile here and there. That and I've had always a soft spot for exo stories.
Overall Score: 60/100
Overall Percentage: 60%
Reviewer's Note: Fix structure and settings! Please note my reviews are strictly objective and mean no offense.
THEUNICORNLADY
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