[R] Doshinsae: My Lover Is My Hostage
~BUBBLY G.S~ (HIATUS/HIRING TRAILER MAKER)AUTHOR: DOSHINSAE STORY TITLE: MY LOVER IS MY HOSTAGE.
Title (10/10): The title is good.
Characterization (9/10): Your charactization is also good, great actually but it has one flaw. The characters are developing too fast. Just slow it down for a bit.
Themes (6/10): Don't get hurt by the low score. This score is about how much we can relate to the story or characters. And mafia and love is something we see in movies. But not wanting to fall in love with someone or admiting that we've fallen for the guy/girl.
Setting (10/10): It's good. You made it part of your plot how they got the hause, train etc. effortlessly.
Description and Foreword (10/10): It's good but also not anything special.
Writing Style / Techniques (9/10): Your writing style is so confusing for new/newer readers. It's kinda jumpy and once you get used to it, it's not hard to understand but try to make it easier for new readers too if you can.
Presentation (10/10): I'm not the one to judge for this. Your poster is nice, you background is good.
Structure and Flow (9/10): Structure is really good. I don't know if you're a native speaker or you're just really good at English. As I said flow is a bit rushed. Like everything is happening too fast. You give enough explainations and everything with flashbacks but I think you should add one chapter that calms things a bit so readers can "rest" and catch up on everything and also to tease them and get them rilled up a bit. But it's a thing of preference.
Plot (10/10): I was pleasently suprised by your plot. Truth to be told. I thought it was gonna be another one of those mafia boss fell in love and does everything for him, becomes nicer and in the end quits bla bla bla. But you giving Chanyeol that twist of personality you really gave a new colour to your story.
Overall Enjoyment (9/10): It was enjoyable. Reay enjoyable. It just that things happen a bit too fast (not talking about feelings but about action actually). You should slower it a bit.
Overall Score: 92/100
Overall Percentage: 92%
Reviewer's Note: This is story that got the highest score (from me at least). I really liked your story as a reader and as a reviewer. So keep it up and don't give it up. Hwating! I hope you're statisfied with my review.
Angel004
| STORY | ANGEL1004 |
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