Remember to forget or Forget to remember?

   Soonyoung remembers the first time he saw Jihoon. He remembers the first time he met Jihoon. He remembers the first time he started developing a crush on Jihoon. He remembers the first time Jihoon asked him out on a date. He remembers the first time they held hands. Soonyoung remembers everything and he wished that he could forget them instead. All these sweet memories did nothing but to inflict more pain on his heartbroken soul and he wants to, he needs to, forget. But if Soonyoung wanted to forget it all so badly, then why was he at Jihoon's favourite cafe? Why was he wearing the hoodie that Jihoon loved seeing on him? Why did he order Jihoon's favourite coffee even if he knew he would't be able to drink it due to the strong bitter taste? Why was he still holding on if he wanted to let go?

   Without Jihoon, Soonyoung was lost. He was stuck between remembering and forgetting. No matter how clear he could remember all their memories together and every little detail of Jihoon, it still felt like he was forgetting everything. It confused Soonyoung to feel this way, he remembers everything but what exactly was he forgetting? So there he was, sitting alone, surrounded by so many physical memories of Jihoon. Soonyoung was lost, he wanted to forget but he was also struggling to remember. How did it feel to hold Jihoon's hand? How did it feel to be in Jihoon's arms? How did it feel to have Jihoon's love? Ultimately, Soonyoung felt empty - just like the other half of Jihoon's bed.

   Jihoon let his eyes shut for a few seconds as he caressed the bed sheets on the empty side of the bed. He lingered on the sweet yet painful memory of Soonyoung sound asleep right beside him, if this was how Jihoon could have Soonyoung then he would gladly be asleep for another hundred years or more. Opening his eyes to reality again, Jihoon's heart ached just like how his eyes stung due to the sudden brightness of his surroundings. All he could do to ease the pain was to catch a sniff of Soonyoung's cologne from the bed sheets and although the memories that flooded through his mind pained him to remember, he didn't mind. Alike Soonyoung, Jihoon struggled to remember but he would never want to forget all their memories together.

   It was only twenty minutes later that Jihoon found the strength to start his day. He sauntered over to his desk which was now perfectly neat and tidy - exactly how Jihoon wants it to be. But today, Jihoon couldn't stand how incredibly neat his desk was. He wanted his earphones to be missing from his desk because Soonyoung borrowed them and forgot to return them again. He wanted his laptop to be left uncharged with its battery flat because Soonyoung was using the laptop and got too lazy to plug in the charger when it ran out of battery. He wanted his pens to be left uncapped and his notebook to have a new page filled with scribbles because Soonyoung got bored and decided to leave doodles and cute messages for Jihoon. Instead, Jihoon had a pathetic, clean, white desk with his belongings in all the rights spaces of the desk and for once, he hated this arrangement.

   Jihoon stared at the whit