There have been many moments in my life in which I felt nervous, but this exact moment in my life has me practically prepared to plan my own funeral. There is no doubt in my mind that I am doing the right thing and that I am choosing the right person to do this with. Whenever I think about what life would be like without her, it’s almost as if I wouldn’t exist either. The only thing that could possibly make this better is if I could tell Mark and Jackson about it, or if I could have them try and help me come up with ideas to propose to her. I guess in preparing for this moment, all I could think about was how they viewed me. I did always feel like I was the ‘last resort’, but for the first time ever a girl chose me over everyone’s ideal type Mark and wild and y Jackson. Do you know how I felt? It felt like the good guy was finally crossing the finish line first - though I’m not saying Mark or Jackson are bad guys at all. But how dare they you know? How dare they think that I wasn’t enough to make her happy, how dare they think that I wasn’t enough to even get her to feel the way she feels about me. For the last five years of my life I was living in their shadows while they pranced around with new girls every month. And for the first time ever, they were in competition with me. I’m not going to let my friendship with them overpower my love for her, and I’m not going to let it affect the success of my proposal. She’s going to say yes, you know why? Because she chose me and I’ve showed her how worthy I am of her and her love. There’s definitely nothing that can mess this up for me today.

“Hey, what are you thinking so hard about?”
She lightly knocks on the door before entering our bedroom. I quickly gather myself together so I don’t seem suspicious, but who am I kidding? She can read me like a book.

“Nothing, just thinking about where I should put the bookshelf after I build it.”
I lie as I saw the stack of books I’ve read lying in a pile on the floor.

“Nice try. I know something’s up Jinyoung, spill it.”
She crosses her arms around her chest and gives me her best attempt at a death glare.

“You know Y/N, your death glare would be so much scarier if you weren’t so cute.”
I pinch her cheeks and place a quick peck to her forehead as her arms snake around my back.

“You’re annoying.”
She complains as she buries her face into my chest.

“I know. But somehow you can’t stay away huh?”
The joke I spat landed me a bite to my chest and yet another cute death glare.

“I’m going to my mom’s today, are you sure you don’t want to come?”
She questions as she grabs her bag and slings it across her shoulders.

“It’s not that I don’t want to come, it’s just that I have some errands to run today. I’ve held them off too long and they do still need to get done. But tell her I said hello, I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to come see her, and that I promise I’ll visit her with you next time.”
I pull her back into my arms and rest my chin atop her head. I always thought it was kind of cute how comforting it was.

“Okay, I’ll see you later then. Have fun running errands, or whatever else you were going to do but used ‘errands’ as an excuse to hide it from me. I love you.”
She looks up and presses her lips to mine before turning to leave; all so quickly I was barely able to open my eyes after her lips left mine.

Obviously it’s my first time doing something like this, and I obviously have no idea if I’m doing it right. But also, how do you do it wrong, you know? I’ve seen videos of how people proposed: dancing flashmobs, messages in the sky, scavenger hunts… but when I thought about it, neither of those seemed like US. So I decided to take a walk and sit at one of my favorite places to think, the pond. I was surprised to see that the area was clear. Usually families are around and the children are throwing rocks in the water or feeding the ducks, but today it was completely clear - almost like it was cleared out and waiting for my arrival. The pond had become one of my favorite places to think because I spent so much time here with Mark and Jackson when Jackson was on that downward spiral trip about Elena. Come to think of it, it was also a spot Jackson found peaceful. Not because he was faced drunk here most of the time, but because he was able to let it out here. Mark also found a calmness here. Yes, we’ve all had our issues: Jackson with Elena, me with being the that awkward third-wheel-shadow, and Mark… even though we always say Mark is every girl’s ideal type, I don’t remember a time where Mark was actually in love with someone. Sure, he’s dated plenty of girls and you bet they all fell in love with him, but Mark… I don’t think he ever really fell in love. I think that aside from the fact that he didn’t get Y/N to date him - like he has every girl ever - he actually fell in love with the person that she is. Honestly, I think we all did and I think it was only a matter of time before it was going to affect our friendship.

“Jinyoung? Is that you?”
I turn to a familiar voice and immediately stand to greet them.

“Mr. and Mrs. Tuan, it’s been so long. How are you?”
Come to think of it, it has been an incredibly long time since I’ve seen Mark’s parents. I haven’t seen them since Mark and I were still talking…

“It has been too long, what have you been doing and why haven’t you stopped by to say hello?”
Mark’s parents were like my second parents, I practically grew up as their son. Seeing them now, again, after what seems like ages made me feel like a bad son for not visiting them. But then again, how could I after everything that’s happened between mine, Mark’s and Jackson’s friendship?

“I’ve been so busy I’m sorry. I got a new apartment and I’m still moving things in and unpacking. My girlfriend has too much stuff and I’m tempted to just leave it out for the garbage men to pick up.”
I joke and get a laugh out of Mrs. Tuan. I mean yeah, Y/N definitely has too much stuff but she’d skin me alive if I left her things for the garbage men; you know women and their shoes, clothes, makeup, more shoes, more clothes and even MORE makeup.

“Oh, you have a girlfriend, we would know if you ever came to visit us! How long have you two been together? You should bring her by sometimes so we can meet her.”
Good idea, so Mark can hate me even more.

“I will definitely bring her when we’ve settled down at home. We’ve been together for about 5 years now.”
Mr. Tuan gives me a shocked expression and I can already hear the question before he even asks it.

“5 years? Are those wedding bells I hear?”
He jokes as he playfully nudges my arm.

“Actually, hopefully soon.”
Mr. and Mrs. Tuan give me their congratulations and bid me goodbye as they head off in the opposite direction. It was so nice to see them after so long, I almost forgot what they were like. And being able to tell them that I was preparing to propose to Y/N made me feel even more positive about the decision I was going to make.

I had Y/N’s mom keep her busy for the afternoon while I made everything at home look untouched and unmoved. She was aware of the proposal and was helping to keep her out of my way. I did grabbed some flowers from her favorite floral shop, placed them into a vase with water and set it neatly in the center of the table. I even threw some magazines and books on the table to make it seem as if it were a normal thing. Y/N loved fantasy books, and she loved the idea of kings and magic so I picked up a copy of the book we were meaning to read together because I knew it was something she would pick up the moment she entered the house. Because we both loved to read, I thought there was no better way than to write our own story for her; some may say it’s completely corny, but I’ve basically recorded the five years we’ve spent together and written it into a book for her; I’ve recorded many of our firsts, our favorite trips, our favorite places and our favorite things. I recorded everything and wrote it all down with small little illustrations detailing the words that were sprawled onto the page. It was a rather thick book you could say, but I needed some space for the most important part. As I began to hear footsteps approach the doorway, I hid inside the closet leaving the door cracked ajar and watched as she entered.

“Jinyoung I’m back, are you home?”
She set her things on the counter - just as I expected - and proceeded with taking off her shoes and jacket with her eyes glued to the messy stacks of magazines and books on the table. The first thing she looked at - again, just as I expected - was that book we were going to read together and flipped through a few pages before turning it and reading the back of the book. I could see the excitement in her eyes as they scanned the art on the book cover and the words teasing at the contents of the book. Looking at her excitement over the mere thought of just reading a new book made my heart skip a few beats; god I loved her enthusiasm when it came to reading. She set the book back onto the table and ran her hands through the magazines until something caught her eye. I knew it was the book I’ve written for her which lay carelessly on the couch with a pen stuffed into the first page.

“The Story of Us…”
She reads out loud as she shrugs and sits on the couch. I can see her turning to read the back of the book for a glimpse of what it holds but I didn’t write anything. My heart was pounding so loud I was afraid that she would hear me and I was afraid that I’d sweat so much from my nerves that I would have to get out for some air. She read through the book and with every flip of the page I became more and more aware of my nerves and the palms of my hands were sweating profusely. I saw the backs of her hands swiping at her eyes and small sniffles as she wiped at her nose, I even heard little chuckles as she flipped through the pages. I wasn’t sure if she was nearing the end yet, but I didn’t want to be late for when she decided to turn around so I quietly crept out of the closet door, feeling so thankful the hinges did not squeak and I got on one knee behind the couch as I waited for her to get to the last pages where the ring was waiting; lodged into the center of the book waiting for her to find. I knew she had finished when I heard the words ‘oh my god’. Her hand went to as she stood from the couch and held the book in her hands, still in shock at what she was looking at. She immediately turned around and there I was, waiting for her on one knee, trying not to smile too big but I couldn’t control it.

“Y/N, you are every piece of me; you are the books to my library, the creamer to my coffee, the flowers to my garden, the brightest star in my sky. I never thought I could love someone as much as I’ve come to love you and I don’t know another person I would want to spend my entire life with. You always talk about how you wished you were born in the age of kings and queens, to rule a land and live in the most exquisite castles; I know this isn’t a castle and I’m not a king but I lay my life at your feet because you are my queen and I promise to cherish you and everything that you are. Y/N, will you marry me?”

I could see the tears well up in her eyes as she tried to compose herself while nodding her head enthusiastically. I took the ring from its socket in the book and carefully slipped it onto her left ring finger; it would mark her as mine, til’ death do us part.