Am I not the luckiest man in the world? Knowing that I have her in my life alone is something I’ll always cherish. How can someone not like her? She was so good with people that when you meet her, you want to always meet with. She isn’t someone who you can forget easily because I mean… just look at her. How could you forget someone so kind, so sweet, and so soft to everyone? God I’m so happy to have her in my life.

It was the way we could enjoy each other’s company without having to do anything
It was the way she loved read for herself and out loud for me. 
It was her caring nature for everyone else around her that made her special to me.
It was the way she was that has me completely infatuated with her. 

“What are you reading?”
I looked up at her from my book. She’s so beautiful when she was focused like that; her glasses on low, her hair in a messy bun with a few wavy strands that escaped being tied, her legs crossed and her bad habit of nibbling on her thumb nail while she read.

“Perfect Chemistry; it’s about two people who are from completely different ethnic and social groups, the guy is in a gang and the girl is rich. They end up being partners for their chemistry class and even though they are faced with many challenges, they fall in love.”
She put the book down for a brief moment as she pushed up her glasses and took a sip of her coffee.

“…‘they fell in love’. You’re such a er for those kinds of books.”
I . She stuck her tongue out at me and continued reading. You know, I always looked forward to doing this with her; I loved that we could share the silence and enjoy each other’s company while doing completely different things. I think that’s why I like her, I like her because she’s so simple. I like that she can have the most fun when we’re just reading like this together.

“Stop looking at me and read your boring book you creep.”
She snapped at me without taking her eyes off her book. I laughed a little and continued on reading.

“I’ll have you know that these crime chronicles are so much better than what you’re reading. I at least have to think about what’s going to happen next.”
I mockingly stuck my tongue out at her before I continued on reading. I don’t even know how much time passed, an hour? Maybe even several; but we stayed like that and just read.

“Hey, Jackson and Mark are finished with work and want us to meet them at the house. Let’s go.”
It was moments like that that ruined it for me. Don’t get me wrong, I love Mark and Jackson as if they were my blood brothers; it’s just that being together all the time isn’t always the best thing you know? For as long as I could remember it has always been the three of us. I didn’t mind it back then because it was pretty easy for us to make friends. It’s just that when you like a girl who is constantly hanging out with the other two… it’s kinda hard.

“Yeah, we should get going then.”
I almost want to say we could just stay and let them do whatever they wanted to do without us. I prided myself in being the only one that she spent time with separately; Mark and Jackson could never just sit here and read for hours on end, that’s why it was a me and her thing. The majority of the time it’s always the four of us, but I really cherished being the only one who could say ‘the two of us’.

“So what movie do you want to go see later?”
I asked her. Initially it was only supposed to be the two of us, but she insisted on bringing Mark and Jackson. It made me think… was being alone with me that bad? I thought it was fine, in fact I prefer being alone with her; that way I don’t have to share the attention.

“I don’t know, whatever’s good? Mark likes horror, Jackson like comedies and you like crime and I like romance… if only there was a movie that could meet all those interests.”
She was right, we were all so different, but all so alike at the same time. To be honest I think she ties us all together; which I’m not sure is a good or a bad thing.

“Thanks for staying with me at the library, you didn’t have to but thanks.”
She always thanked me whenever I did things with her when it should be me thanking her for even giving me her attention.

“Don’t mention it, you know I love libraries.”
I smiled to her, if only she knew how much I liked her too.  To be completely honest, I think she likes Jackson… Whenever the four of us are together, it’s almost like she’s attached to him, and whenever it’s just the two of us there’s never a time when I don’t hear ‘remember when Jackson did this…’. I really do think she likes him, but I hope that it’s just my mind overthinking things that don’t even exist. Besides how would I know? I’m not her right?

“I hope Jackson had a better day at work today. I know the other day he made a few mistakes on some orders and the customers were kind of upset.”
I told you. There she goes mentioning Jackson again. Although I love Jackson as if he were my own brother, it gets tiring hearing the girl you like talk about one of your best friends.

“I’m sure he had a better day today. I didn’t get any texts while he was on his break complaining about it or anything.”
I wish I occupied as much space in her mind as Jackson did… I really don’t want to hear her talk about him so much because it makes me feel like I shouldn’t even like her, or that the small efforts I make would completely go unnoticed because she likes Jackson.

“Yeah you’re right. And Mark probably got some more girls’ numbers today, I swear he always gets them wherever we go.”
And Mark too, she mentions him a lot too. Maybe it’s just because we’re all friends and that’s why they can easily be mentioned into conversation. I wondered if she ever talked about me when she was with the other two. Oh wait, she was never with the other two separately so there was no way she could mention me at all. That thought alone makes me feel uneasy, does she like one of them?

“Probably, I mean look at the guy; he’s practically every girl’s dream guy.”
My comment makes her laugh and I’m waiting for her to deny it but she never does.

“Haha, you’re right about that part.”
Damn it. What a low blow to my self-esteem. I kept quiet the rest of the walk, I just listened to her talk and occasionally made comments so she wouldn’t think that something was wrong, but I just really wanted her to deny that Mark comment I made. Her not denying it made my confidence level drop.

“Y/N~~~~~”
Jackson greeted enthusiastically as we entered the house. He practically jumped on her.

“I’m guessing you had a better day than you did yesterday?”
She hugged him just as closely and buried her face into his neck causing my heart to nearly drop. I’ve acknowledged my feelings for her for a while now, but I’m afraid that if I don’t act on it soon then Jackson is going to beat me to it; if he even likes her that is. But really, it isn’t hard to like her.

“He was better today.”
Mark answered for him as he came and kissed the top of her head. WOAH WOAH WOAH, since when was Mark so daring? Mark never did things like that. Just seeing him do it made me nervous. Does Mark like her? She definitely didn’t deny Mark being every girls’ ideal type, so did she like him too?

You see, the thing with Mark and Jackson is that they always attract women; they just have this kind of appeal to them and women just came. It wasn’t that natural for me, I actually had to try some times.

“Where were you guys anyway?”
Mark asked as I walked past him to get to my room.

“The library, she wanted to read.”
I answered before slipping into my room.

“The library? You’re so boring Jinyoung.”
I heard Jackson say as I shut the door behind me. Boring my , at least she spent time with me without the two of them. It was so annoying hearing them talk about how boring I am with her; did they know that she actually enjoyed simple things like that? Neither one of them would be able to stay in the library with her the way I can; Mark would definitely fall asleep and Jackson can’t even sit still for more than an hour. At least she was able to enjoy those moments with me.

“Jinyoung-ah, are you ready? We’re waiting for you!”
She called from outside my door. I wasn’t really getting ready or anything, I just needed a few moments to myself; so I could get away from them and recollect my thoughts. Mark and Jackson’s actions today confirmed it for me; today I had to tell her I liked her, I was going to ask her out.

“Yeah, I’m just looking for something.”
You know, just all the guts I’m gonna need to tell her about my feelings. 

We eventually settled on a romance film since we couldn’t come to an agreement; plus she enjoys those so it’s fine by me. Our seating was so organized; come to think of it whenever we went places where we had to sit, we kind of always fell into the order: Mark, me, her then Jackson.

“Jackson, popcorn?”
She asked him as he sat down. We had forgotten to grab some since we were a little late for the showing.

“Okay, I’ll be right back. Do you want anything else? Mark, Jinyoung, you guys want anything?”
Jackson was always so attentive to her, he would literally jump off a cliff if she asked him to.

“I just want a soda.”
Mark answered as he was taking off his jacket.

“I’ll just have a soda too, I’ll share popcorn with her.”
Before I got myself comfortable I took off my jacket and put it around her; she always got cold in the theaters but she always forgot to bring a jacket.

“Thank you.”
She smiled that smile that could end wars; one look at it and I swear you’d be under her spell.

“You always forget a jacket, what would you do without me?”
I patted the jacket as I smoothed it out around her small frame.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you, I’d probably freeze to death.”
Hearing the words ‘I don’t know what I’d do without you’ made my heart beat a little faster. It didn’t help that she looped her arm with mine and leaned in on my shoulder either.

“You look like you’re ready for a nap.”
Jackson interrupted our moment as he handed down our snacks.

“Thank you Jackson.”
She took the popcorn and immediately stuffed some into .

“Anything for you.”
Hearing Jackson say those words made my jealousy levels rise. That was supposed to be what I said…

I didn’t pay attention to the movie, I know it was about a man and a woman who were together while they were younger, but the girl’s parents didn’t want her with him so they moved away and she ended up marrying some different guy. They ran into each other after a few years passed and they remember their past blah blah blah. I was too focused on Jackson because he was usually touchy with her; her head was on his shoulders and his was rested atop hers. From the outside looking in, they look like a couple, like they’re in love and can’t keep off of each other. I looked over and Mark was asleep; theres no doubt in my mind that if he had been sitting next to her he’d be wide awake and just as attentive to her as Jackson was. We’re just all too close, we’re all too lose that I’m starting to think it isn’t okay anymore.

“So what did you guys think of the movie?”
She asked us when we all walked out.

“To be honest I fell asleep.”
Mark answered,

“It was okay, though I’m more of a comedy and action movie guy…”
Jackson looked down at her.

“It was okay.”
She made her way over to my side as she handed me my jacket.

“Thanks again, it was superrrrrr cozy!”
There was that smile again. I almost forgot why I was so focused on Jackson in the first place.

“Anything for you.”
I said as I pinched her cheeks.

“Let’s get out of here.”
The four of us began walking to the car. I felt that if I didn’t take this chance now I wasn’t going to get it anymore, or the courage I had built up would vanish the next time I had this opportunity, OR one of them were going to beat me to it.

“Hey, I need to talk to you for a second.”
I pulled her hand and the two of us were about two feet behind Mark and Jackson.

“You guys go ahead, we’ll be right behind you.”
Mark and Jackson looked back at us but I waved them off and they continued on walking.

“What’s up?”
Her eyes were wide and filled with curiosity and my heart was on overdrive right now.

“…hello earth to Jinyoung?”
She joked as she waved her hands in front of my face.

“I uh… I have to tell you something.”
I can’t hold back now, I’ve already come so far. The look on her face, the feeling in my heart… please.

“You’re being weird and it’s making me worried, out with it Jinyoung.”

“I like you.”