Summer, 14 years ago

 

 

 

"AARRGGHH..."

 

"Are you okay?" He slides next to her and help her to stand.

 

"Do I look okay to you, Oppa?"

 

Yonghwa chuckled and it made her glare at him. "Well, not really.."

 

"Not funny.." She said but it made him laughed harder.

 

"Oh you are so bad at this Joohyun-ah, how can you even fall when your hand still on the railing?"

 

"Told you it was bad idea.."

 

"Nope, it was perfect idea.."

 

"How can it be perfect?"

 

"Because you have a professional trainer like me.." He bragged, feeling proud of himself.

 

"You just made a fool of me, oppa.."

 

"Hey.. I didn't.. I was helping you so you won’t make a fool by yourself when you go dating with your boyfriend later.."

 

"Oppa you are no romantic.."

 

"What is definition of romantic for you?"

 

"A man with passion who will treat me like I'm the most special person in the world? It will be great if he could make a love poem for me.." Seohyun saw how he rolled his eye in disgust.

 

"Oh, right.. My boyfriend later will definitely love the idea of me hanging on him tightly on this cold arena.. So I will be like, 'Oppa, hug me so I won't fall..' or 'Oppa, it's cold..' and we will get closer after that.." She said nonchalantly.

 

"You wish.. A guy who just all talk and no action is lame.. Besides not all guy loves a clingy girlfriend.. A mature guy will definitely fell on independent woman charm.. It will look ier when you could slide perfectly in front of a guy.."

 

Seohyun pouted, "I will be that y woman in time, oppa.. Just you wait.."

 

"Great, I can't wait to meet that y Seohyun in the future." His sarcasm tone made her scowl. "Now, straighten your feet, Joohyun.." He ordered, his hand fixed on her waist, keeping her stand firmly on the ground beside the wobbling on her body.

 

"I change my mind, for now let me just be that clingy girl.." She shouted when Yonghwa started to move.

 

"Just follow me.."

 

"It's easier said than done, oppa.." She whined felt like crying now. Sport isn't her forte, she wasn't good in anything physical. When Yonghwa took her to this skating arena, she was hesitating. She never did this before and she knew she will mess up big time. The first attempt made her fell hard on the back, the second wasn't better. Yonghwa keeps his hand on her after that, holding her tight to prevent her from falling again.

 

"Just relax, I got you.."

 

"What if I fall again? My freezing.."

 

He chuckled a bit, "I will catch you whenever you fall.."

 

"You always catch me too late, Oppa.."

 

"Am I? But I will still catch you nonetheless.. Trust me.."

 

His hand held her wrist now, slowly moving back so she could move forward. This time he will make sure she won't fell without him to catch her.

 

 

 

 

"Look, Oppa.. I can move.." She said proudly when she could move forward without falling.

 

Yonghwa on the other side appreciated her with a smile, his hand clap proudly at her. "That's right.. You are doing great.. I told you, you had a very professional trainer here.."

 

"Okay.. okay.. You are the greatest trainer.." She snorted and he laughed again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jejudo, 2016

 

 

Seohyun saw the sun started to set in front of her, the view she got used to see but never made her amazement left every time. It was beautiful and peaceful. The moment when the blue sky turned orange and the moon started taking over with its darkness. The moment passed, she gets up and took her sandal from the sandy ground. The waves blew the cold air on her hair, scatter it around. She loves when the breezy wind touches her skin, it embracing her body, such as giving their comfort to her lonely soul.

 

The silent tears escaping her eyes, she didn't mind to wipe it. She let it be, hoping all the pain will get away with the tears. But no matter how many times she cried, no matter how much tears she shed, it still there, in the deepest of her heart, the pain, the longing and the heartbreak.

 

Was it true that no one could ever forget the first person who could enter their life?

 

Because it happened to her.

 

Eight months from the day she left his house and still couldn't get over him.

 

How pathetic.

 

She takes a deep breath and walks away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"How much the corn, haraboeji?"

 

"Just 5000 won for you, Seohyun-ah.."

 

"Here it is.." She takes money from her wallet and gave it to the haraboeji who sell vegetable on the market.

 

"Seohyun-ah, it's been a months since you move here, right?" The haraboeji asked.

 

"Was that a month already? I guess so, ahjussi.."

 

"You said, you travelled a lot because of your job, right?"

 

"That's right, I wrote a travelling column in a magazine, so I can't stay long in one place.."

 

"How long do you think you will stay though?"

 

"Well, I haven't decided yet, haraboeji.. Why?"

 

"He's just love to see you around, Seohyun-ah.. Byuntae.." The ahjumma next to his stall added, made Seohyun laughed.

 

The ahjussi gave the ahjumma a glare, "It wasn't like that.. Why were you always having negative thoughts about men.. No wonder your husband left you.." The haraboeji shook his head.

 

"Yah.. you.." The ahjumma gets angry but the haraboeji just ignoring her.

 

"The thing is, my grandson will coming home this weekend.. I want to introduce him to you.. You said you haven't had a boyfriend, right?" He said to Seohyun.

 

"Ne?"

 

The ahjumma laughed. "Why would you introduce a pretty girl like her a boy? I bet she got chased by many men whenever she goes.. A villager like Minhyuk will not match a city girl like her.."

 

"What's wrong with uri Minhyuk? He is a nice man, he got a good job as an Assistant of the CEO from a big company in Seoul too.."

 

"Aigoo.. Then why can't he find his own girl rather than making his grandfather looking for a girl for him?"

 

"He didn't ask me.. I took the initiative.. Ow, you make me upset, aishh.."

 

"It's okay, Haraboeji, Ahjumma. I think I will stay here until the festival is over, hence I will see him.."

 

With her answer, haraboeji smiled happily.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The weekend arrived fast, Seohyun stayed there as her promise to the haraboeji. He couldn't stop talking about his grandson, of how diligent, how nice and how capable he is. Seohyun got curious when the said grandson finally came back to his hometown. Seohyun clearly had no intention to date him or something, not when there is still another person in her mind, but she doesn't have heart to refuse haraboeji's request. So she decides to be friend with his grandson instead.

 

 

 

 

She sat in front of the friendliest eye smile she was ever known, that haraboeji grandson was smiling through his eye the entire time. "You are Seohyun? I've heard a lot about you.."

 

"Right, I told a lot about you to him, Seohyunnie.." The haraboeji said. "Thank you for coming.."

 

"Aniya, it's okay. I have heard a lot about you too, Minhyuk-ssi.."

 

"Jinjja? Haraboeji must get overboard with all of his compliment."

 

"Is that wrong to say what's good when it's good?" Haraboeji laughed.

 

The dinner went smoothly after that, they were a warm family, something she always longed to have but too perfect to be true. That time she realized how alone she was in this world, how lonely life could be..

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Jeju Field-Burning Festival is a ceremony to pray for health and a good harvest in the coming year. The festival offers a number of hands-on events where visitors can participate in folk games and traditions, and you can also enjoy the sights of Jeju Island’s stunning natural environment.

 

Folk dancing, mobile food carts selling hot dogs and fried fish on a stick, fire dancers, fireworks, and local crafts are all part of the chaos and fun. The traffic was a mess, as thousands travel to experience the festival first-hand.

 

Seohyun decided to come to the festival with Minhyuk when he asked her. He is very nice and has a vibe of a good friend. She got very comfortable with him, like a long lost brother. He lead her to the center of the festival, where the crowds taken place in many games and entertainment.

 

"Did you like it?" Minhyuk asked, half shouting because you can't possibly talk or hear clearly at that kind of crowd.

 

"Ne.." She answered.

 

"Will you wait here for a while? There's something I need to do.."

 

"Ahrasso.."

 

Minhyuk smiled and left her alone.

 

Seohyun still amazed by the crowd around her, it was very bright and lively. Though the sun shine brightly that day, the enthusiasm of the people doesn't drop down.

 

She walked slowly through the crowd, when the villager kid crashed her and fell down. She helped the little boy to stand up when she realized the cookies he carried fell on the ground. The boy cried and she gets confused of how to console him. She looked for the mother of this boy but no one came looking for him. "Where is your mother?" She shouted, the boy seems to hear her by the way he pointed his finger to the crowd.

 

"I didn't see anyone.." She mumbled.

 

She bends her body and smiles at the boy, took her satchel bag and put out a candy she keeps in it before giving it to the boy. The boy smiled eventually after receiving the candy. "Let me help you find your mother, okay?" She said, which made the boy nods immediately.

 

She held his hand and walked to the crowd, looking at her left and right, until her eyes met one familiar gaze across her. Her eyes popped in disbelieve of what she might see. Could it be one of her unrequited illusion like always? Shook her head she looked the other way, hoping for that unreal image disappear, before looking back at the same spot and saw him still standing right there in front of her. The world freeze at the moment, she couldn't take her eyes off of his anymore.

 

A cold hand touched her shoulder, a woman seemed like the mother of the boy smile at her warmly before taking his son's hand and waved their goodbye. Like getting back from the trance, Seohyun doesn't know how to react. After 8 months, obviously his presence alone could still affect her deeply.

 

Like now.

 

She looked back at him who still standing there at the same spot. The path that separate them now only a few meters away. It was a matter of time until he could reach her. Seohyun doesn't know if she is ready for that, she wanted to run but her feet betraying her.

 

She saw him walked closer and closer and smiled at her. She remembered every time he smiled, his cheek will burst widely, and she will nonstop about how cute it actually looked like despite how despise he was to be called cute by her. Never occurred to her that one day she will meet him again and exchange smiles, she always thought he even hated the idea of meeting her face to face like this.

 

"You looked fine.." He started.

 

"It was a surprise to see you here.. Do you have some business around here?"

 

"Yes, sort of.. So this place is where you were living all of this time?"

 

"For now, yes.. I travelled a lot actually, having the chance to see the world freely.."

 

"I know, you never gone more than a month in every places.."

 

"How did you know that?"

 

Instead of answering, he asked. "Did you enjoy your life like that?"

 

"Yes.. It feels free.."

 

He nodded a couple times before an ahjussi came to them and asked them to play some games in his stall. Seohyun shook her head refusing him, thinking it would be awkward for both of them, but Yonghwa held her wrist and persuade her. She complied and both of them now standing in front of the ahjussi stall.

 

The ahjussi gave him a plastic gun and order him to shoot right at the bottle it the table across them. If he could shoot 5 bottles with the 7 bullets within 1 minutes then the ahjussi will give them prize.

 

"What do you want?" He suddenly asked, referring to the prizes. There're big dolls, small dolls, tee, tumbler and the last one is pen.

 

Seohyun shook her shoulder in disbelief, it wasn't the time for playing games and aiming for the prizes she wanted. She was having this angsty turmoil inside her stomach just by meeting him but what did he do now? He acted as if there is nothing going wrong between them. Carelessly she answers, "That Penguin doll.."

 

"Ahrasso, I will get it for you.." He said.

 

You may think the man in your heart will be like the lead actor in those dramas, cool and perfect they can almost do anything precisely. But in reality, it will never happen. It was already the third attempt of him to shoot the bottle. The first attempt ended up in failure for he just managed to shoot 2 of the bottles. The second attempt was no better. It was a tricky game, it looks easy until you try it out yourself.

 

He focused on the bottle before shooting his last bullet. The bullet flies quickly but failed to get in to the bottle. He cursed lightly at himself made Seohyun chuckled. He turned at her when he heard she was giggling behind his back. Seohyun gags her lips and act as if she didn't just got caught laughing at him.

 

"You enjoying this, don't you?" He asked.

 

"Aniyo.." She denied.

 

"Wait till I show you my real talent.. You will be surprise when I win all of this prizes.." He joked, hand reaching his back pocket to buy more bullets.

 

"Ahra.. ahra.. Geumanhe.. It's okay, I don't really want that doll.."

 

"I will get it for you.. Just you wait.."

 

Seohyun laughed but held his arms tightly to prevent him wasting his money more. It's obvious he won't ever win this game. Maybe none ever will.

 

"It's embarrassing but you finally laughed at least. You made face as if you were just seeing a ghost when you see me earlier.."

 

Seohyun goes silence again after that, getting really confuse with his change of behavior. What actually happened in 8 months gap between them? It was like the old warm Yonghwa that she knew from the short memory she had about them is back. How?

 

"See, your scary face is back.." His finger poked her temple to ease her furrowed eyebrow. "I never thought the festival could be this popular. It's very interesting.. Let's take a look around more.."

 

He already walked a couple of step away when he realized she didn't follow. Turning around he faces her.

 

"What did you do?" She asked.

 

"About what?"

 

"What is this all about?"

 

He looked around in confusedness before shook his shoulder.

 

"I don't understand at all.." Seohyun massaged her temple slowly. "We just met after a while and suddenly you are being this way.."

 

"I just want to enjoy this interesting festival with you, someone I know.. Is that wrong?"

 

"You don't even know I'm here.."

 

"But we met anyway.. It’s better to be with someone I know than a stranger.."

 

"I'm just as good as a stranger to you though.." She mumbled.

 

"What did you say?" He asked again.

 

"Ani.."

 

"Come on then.."

 

"I can't come with you.. I came with someone.."

 

He looked around once more to see someone she was talking about but found none. "He will come shortly.." She added.

 

"Okay, when he came back later, you can go with him.." The persuading looked he gave her made her giving up. She walked following his pace, trolling around the festival. They passed the crowd and instinctively Yonghwa put his hand on Seohyun's back, to prevent her bumped into others. They saw the odeng stall and he quickly drags her there.

 

"You used to like it a lot.. Let's eat.." He said, while taking a few pieces of odeng in the cup and gave it to her. She took it and he put a few on his own cups and ate it. She got bewildered by his behavior, not only that he remembers it, but he ate it himself.

 

"You used to hate things like this though.."

 

"Somebody told me that i was too picky with everything, especially of the things I consume and I need to learn to appreciate the simplest thing in life first.. So I start not to be picky and somehow this thing turns out to be edible enough.."

 

The familiarity of the words made her overwhelmed, she remembers it of course, the words she uttered to him years ago. But what came as a shock was the fact that he remembered it and not only that, he actually really considering it. She never thought he would really listen to her at that time but somehow he did.

 

The sudden ring on her phone startled her. It was Minhyuk telling her that something came up and he couldn't come to see the festival with her. Seohyun sighed, "He can't come.."

 

"Really? Then you are free to roam around with me.."

 

"No.. I'm sorry.. I need to go.." Yonghwa held her wrist quickly, preventing her to leave.

 

"Why..?"

 

"The thing is not that I can't, but i don't want to.. It shocked me.. Seeing you here, and everything that happened before just came back.. I-How could I act like there's nothing wrong with us? How could you pretend that we are okay, as if we are having the normal relationship as others..?"

 

"Wasn't that what you want?"

 

"I used to.. But not anymore-not anymore.."

 

"Don't leave.." He tightens his grips on her.

 

"Good day, Oppa.." She said before shook her hand and left.

 

 

I know I can't take one more step towards you
'Cause all that's waiting is regret
Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

 

 

 

 

 

Seohyun woke up with a headache in her head, she can’t sleep last night. At all. The thought of what just happen hit her so hard, she hardly believe it was real. Eight months yet she still don't know how to react in front of him. She decided to jogged around the neighborhood that morning to breathe some fresh air despite the trembling in her head

 

"Get back to your sense, Seohyun.. You can do this.." She said, tapping her cheek two times while running back to her house. She jogged slowly when suddenly lost her balance and feel nauseous. A pair of hand helps her to kee