Ha Yun entered the bedroom knowing that Jinki was inside and probably didn’t want to see her at all. She heard from her other friends how he barely spoke to them and if he did how he was rude and aloof. She heard about that he used to call girlfriend and what she did to him.

How could she dare to break up with him not because she didn’t like him anymore but because she saw him as an obstacle on her perfect life? Jinki wasn’t an obstacle, he wasn’t a stone on her path, Jinki was the sun and everyone knows that even if clouds are covering the sun, that star is still behind them, shining as brightly as ever waiting for the clouds to move away. Ha Yun would wait. She didn’t mind waiting as long as that meant that Jinki would smile again winning his will to live.

The truth was that she also avoided him the last week. She was afraid of how she would react in front of him. Last time Ha Yun was glad he was sleeping because she couldn’t stop crying and he had already his mother crying by his bed everyday. He didn’t need another weak person moping around, he needed someone that would tell him that things would be ok, that being alive was the most important.

It wasn’t as if she could avoid him forever, she didn’t want it either so that day she decided to face him.

Ha Yun stepped inside the bedroom and found Jinki sitting on his bed, wearing a black pajama, his legs covered with a green blanket.

He was looking at the window and she hesitated at the door admiring his profile. He was so beautiful, with his full lips and sharp chin, his dark hair falling on his eyes and over his ears that she loved.

He heard her enter the bedroom and moved his eyes to her. They were wet as if he has been crying and her heart ached painfully.

“Hi!” she greeted with a weak voice, swallowing the pain and the desire to run to him and hug him instead. He deserved a hug for being so brave, for being there alive.

“What are you doing here?” He asked with a husky voice, a hint of rudeness on it.

Ha Yun spotted the tray with food untouched on the bedside table. “You didn’t eat yet?” she heard from his mother about how he didn’t have much appetite. That was weird since Jinki loved to eat but made sense due to his current state.

“What are you doing here?” He repeated the question and Ha Yun walked closer to the bed.

“I missed you. I came to see you!”

“Why? To pity me like the others? “

The anger on his voice was touchable but she was ready for that and wasn’t going to back away now.

It wasn’t as if he was mad with her. He was mad with the world, with that terrible faith that bestowed on him.

Also Ha Yun promised their friends and even his parents that she would cheer him up.

“You didn’t visit me at the hospital before.” He added not giving her time to answer to his previous accusation.

“I did! You were sleeping! I even brought you a book!”

“Better sleep forever…” He mumbled under his breath and Ha Yun grabbed his hand hurt with what he said.

She knew how sometimes people reacted like that after what happened to him, how they often needed psychological help and even sometimes tried to commit suicide.

She was sure that Jinki wouldn’t take his own life but thinking like that wouldn’t help on his recovery at all.

He pulled his hand away, his eyes sparkling with anger “DO NOT TOUCH ME!”

She flinched and he his lips “I don’t require attention from anyone!” He rubbed his temple “I don’t deserve it.”

“You do!” Ha Yun said stubbornly grabbing his hand again.

“STOP THAT!”

“YA YOU STOP THAT!” she screamed back at him making him widen his eyes surprised.

Yes she was always arguing with most of their friends but she never ever screamed with him.

“Stop blaming yourself, stop saying things as if your life isn’t precious!” she begged biting her lower lip so she wouldn’t cry.

“I should have died in that car accident! I should have!” Jinki said firmly, tears on his eyes “Then I wouldn’t be this useless person!”

“You are not useless! You can recover. The doctor said that there is 60% of chances of you recovering. I believe you can!”

“What if I don’t?” He asked with a tiny voice, a tear falling from his eye. He was scared, scared to stay like that forever.

“Then I still will love you the same. We all will.” it was the truth, of course she wanted him to walk again but if he didn’t it wouldn’t matter. Her feeling towards him wouldn’t change.

Her words made him pale and he softly took his hand away from hers. “I’m not a complete man anymore! I can’t walk! I can’t do what a man should do...!” He said embarrassed looking at the covers of his bed.

“To me you are still the best and you can do anythign even if you don't walk!” Ha Yun confessed, blushing a little. He frowned at her words and pushed the covers so she could see his legs.

“I can’t move them….see?!” He clutched his teeth “I’m trying to move them and nothing!”

Ha Yun placed her hand on his thigh and he swallowed nervously.

“Can you feel it?”

“Yes…”

“The doctor said that that was a good sign, that with time and therapy you would be able to walk. You need to believe in that. You need to work hard.”

He didn’t answer, his dead eyes on his now dead legs.

“Please don’t say that you should have died. It breaks my heart!”

He looked up at her. “Can you please leave and never come back?”

“What?” The sudden request surprised Ha Yun.

“The person I am right now can’t be with anyone. Even my girlfriend knew it and left me, I’m a burden and…” He knew about her feelings. He was telling her to give up and Ha Yun tilted her head near tears again.

“…And I know that I’m not only a friend to you.” He added making her embarassed.

That was the first time he implied that she had deeper feelings for him. Nothing ever happened between them and yet she knew that she was special to him.

 “Jinki…I...”

“Can you? Leave?” his pouty red lips and teary eyes broke her heart but she could never do what he was asking her.

“Never!”

“Hey…listen to me!”

She ignored his plea and leaned forward kissing him.

Ha Yun probably shouldn’t have done it but that shut him up. She was expecting him to push her away but instead he kissed her back and as softly as it started their kiss ended.

It tasted salty for both their tears and yet it was the best kiss she ever shared with anyone.

“I can’t love you.” He said softly breaking her heart.

 It was ok, she knew he didn’t have feelings like that for her and the feelings she had were enough for both.  Ha Yun would never be like Jung that abandoned him.

“It’s ok. I’m not going to leave you or give up on you. I’ll love you until you are able to walk again. Then you can ask me to leave you alone. Only then!”

He blinked his eyes, her words sinking in, and she cupped his face again, kissing his lips and then his cheek and forehead as tenderly as she mastered, offering him a piece of the love she had to give him.

She was going to take care of him now, to help him fight against that cruel faith.

 “We can’t do this…” He said. “It’s not fair to you and...”

“I don’t care!” she said firmly brushing the tears away from his cheek. “Just focus on being able to run away from me!”

For a moment she was scared that her dark tasteless joke would make him upset but he smiled instead.

“That one was good!”

That day Ha Yun got her first victory. She made him smile.