“If I’d chosen never to set foot inside the great fairytale, I’d never have known what I’ve lost. Do you see what I’m getting at? Sometimes it’s worse for us human beings to lose something dear to us than never to have had it at all.”

The Orange Girl, Jostein Gaarder

 ♦ Ha Yun ♦

Park Ha Yun liked to dance. She wasn’t the best dancer and she certainly didn’t have much time to go clubbing since she helped her father run the small market her family owned, and most of the times she was the one who had to do the night shift, but still she tried to meet her friends as often as she could.

She wasn’t that young anymore, 26 years old already, and her family was already pressuring her to marry but Ha Yun didn’t find the person she wanted to marry yet. Well she did find him but he was busy searching for someone else that wasn’t her.

That’s why Ha Yun used the excuse of work to avoid the blind dates her friend found to her and instead looked at the object of her affections with dreamy eyes.

Lee Jinki was his name and he had the most beautiful smile she ever saw.

Ha Yun could remember clear as day how she met him during High school, on the first day of school. How they bumped into each other and he politely helped her gather her things from the floor. He smiled so gently at her introducing himself to her as her new classmate that she knew that moment that maybe falling in love at first sight truly existed. Unfortunately the feeling wasn’t mutual and Jinki only saw her as one of his best friends.

She was special to him though, that was what their other friends often told her. He treated her like a princess, had long talks with her and was very protective of Ha Yun but that was it. Their special connection never crossed the best friend’s line and after they became adults Ha Yun had to learn how to live seeing Jinki with his girlfriends.

He didn’t change girlfriends very often but once he had one he would date her for long periods, taking her into their group of friends making Ha Yun jealous.

That night was no different. They all went clubbing and Jinki brought his last girlfriend, a tall thin woman with dyed blonde hair and a short dress. She wasn’t very friendly but Jinki seemed to like her for some reason that Ha Yun couldn’t understand.

“I heard she is good in bed.” Dae-Jung, one of their friends told her noticing how she looked at Jinki’s girlfriend. “They are fighting a lot lately so he is probably going to break up with her soon.”

“How do you know all of that?” Ha-Yun asked. Normally Jinki never opened up to her about his girlfriends. They could talk about everything, but their relationship or in her case the lack of, was off limits.

“He tells me stuff. He said he fell for her charms and that she used to be fun to be around. He used to like her but lately she is disappointing him.”

“In bed?”

“No. That is good!” her friend chuckled and Ha Yun frowned drinking her beer. “She is just too self-centered.”

“He never tells me anything about her.”

“That’s because he knows you love him!”

Ha Yun almost spit her beer and turned to Dae-Jun. “I don’t love him!”

“Right! Everyone knows how you feel about him and that’s why he treats you differently, as if you were a fragile creature when we all know you could kick his if you want. I think that in a way he loves you too.”

“What?” she couldn’t help but blush, her eyes settling on Jinki that was all smiles dancing with his girlfriend “He could never…”

“Maybe not in the way you want him to love you but we all know how he cares deeply for you.”

Dae-Jun grabbed his beer and walked in the direction of their friends dancing.

Ha Yun watched Jinki knowing that Dae-Jun was right. To Jinki she would always be the good friend, the sister he never had and nothing more.

The blonde woman leaned forward and kissed Jinki and he wrapped his arms around her pulling her into his embrace and that was when Ha Yun had to look away because she couldn’t stand seeing it.

In her wildest dreams Jinki would kiss her, would hug and confess to her that he also fell for Ha Yun at first sight that day they met. That he never confessed before because was afraid to lose his best friend, that he loved her now as a man. They would kiss like that too and things would hit off from there. She would be able to marry the man she loved and everything would make sense.

It was a makjang drama only and she never dared to share those dreams with anyone.

Ha Yun saw Jinki kiss goodbye her girlfriend before she entered the taxi and then he waved at her stepping back.

“Want a ride home?” He asked Ha Yun.

“Why didn’t you drive your girlfriend home if you are going home to?” she asked ignoring Dae-Jun that was a few steps away holding one of their other friends that was a drunken mess.

“I have Dae-jun and Joon to take home, I’m the designated driver tonight. And i have you to take also, of course.”

So he wasn’t asking when he offered her a ride he actually planned to take her since the start.

“Jung doesn’t like Joon much so it’s better that she took a taxi.” He added.

Jung, Jinki’s girlfriend didn’t like anyone anyway but Ha Yun didn’t make a comment.

“Shall we go home?” Jinki asked.

Ha Yun nodded her head gladly, following after him, admiring the way he walked and how the muscles of his back flexed, without knowing that maybe she wouldn’t see that again.

 ♦ Jinki ♦

Lee Jinki woke up like every other morning and got ready for work. He had a small bookstore on the center of Seoul that his grandfather left him. His parents always encouraged him to study to be an engineer but he end up choosing business and decided to keep the bookstore open on his grandfather’s memory. He had only two employees but the bookstore was doing good, just enough to cover his expenses and give him enough to have a good normal life.

Every time he told girls about what he did they would get all smitten with it, the romantic idea of a man like him ruling a bookstore. Ha Yun was different. She didn’t have the chance to go to college even if she we wanted and end up working on her fathers family business. She actualy saw behind the romantic idea of the bookstore and warned him about how hard it is to have your own business.

That was one of the reasons he liked her so much. She was realistic, always scolded him when she felt like she had to and always honest...well most of the times.

There was something she wasn’t honest about and Jinki feared the day she would be, because then she would reveal him what she felt for him.

He was almost sure Ha Yun liked him more than a friend and that worried him because he didn’t want to lose her friendship. He knew how dating someone, becoming intimate with someone in a romantic way could ruin friendships and be didn’t want to lose her. She was special to him. That’s why he also didn’t try to analyze what he felt for her. It was maybe tenderness or fraternal love but whatever it was it wasn’t ual or romantic and he preferred things to be that way.

That morning he left for work like always, listening to music on the radio, that one of his close friends, a DJ called Jonghyun, was playing.

Jinki yawned remembering the night before and Ha Yun laughing expression when they left Joon home and he feel against the door.

His good mood diminished a little when his phone rang and he checked that it was Jung. He would call her later. It wasn’t safe while he was driving and he didn’t want to talk with her yet. Lately their relationship wasn’t doing good and it worried him. Her selfishness troubled him and he didn’t know how to deal with it. He liked her but…

The first accords of one of his favorite songs started to play and Jinki hummed to the song absentmindedly not realizing the car running at high speed coming in the direction of his car.

In a second his life was changed forever.