chapter 4


I just broke up with my girlfriend,"i just couldn't belive she was just using me,what i can't belive is just how naive i can still be at my age,what was i thinking?i should have known it yet...and also what she said about song hye kyo,no there's no way i am gonna forgive her".I felt really down so i called yoo ah in but he couldn't talk much because of his work so i just hung up,i wanted to talk with someone but who?...i stayed in my car in front of my house but i didn't get off,my legs,didn't want to move.I closed my eyes for a second and remained silent,then my telephone suddenly rang. It was song hye kyo,i don't know why but i felt guilty towards her ,for the words my ex said about her,who suffered more than anyone else,who have a really big heart,why must she be viewed in such way by people,it hurts me.


"yeobuseyo?"i said not too cherful,how could i after what happened...


"o jong ki ya!i decided to come,so we can go together,what do you think?"


That sentence just made me so happy,i was so grateful for this that couldn't wait for the day to come.


"really!omo i am so happy!yes we must go together absolutely!"


"ahahah,i am happy you are cheerful again"


"what do you mean?"


"the way you answered just now at the phone was sad,can you tell me what happened?"how can i tell you what happened,not you,this will hurt you.


"nothing really,just a little tired,don't worry"


"i see,try to rest as much as you can ok? our work is really hard and tiring,so be sure to take a nap or just close you eyes,when you can ok?"see,she is miles away from me,yet she is worried for me"ye kyo!it's time for the show" "ok!i am coming! sorry jong ki i have to go"she is so busy yet she found the time to call me i can't wait to see her again.




Present day.


Day of the 52th baeksang awards me and hye kyo decided to go at the awards together, now i am about to reach her home where she was preparing.Gosh i am really nervours."Jong ki,we arrieved""oh,ok yung,"we parked the car then we got out and entered the gate,we walked trought her beautiful garden and we finally arrived at the door.Then i reached the button of the door bell and pressed it,in just a few second the door opened,it was her manager.


"hello jong ki,come in,she is almost ready,please come in"


"ok,then"


"hye kyo jong ki is here"


"o really?ok i am almost done jong ki"


"don't worry,we aren't in a rush"


"i know i just don't like being late"


"ahahah,she is always so serious,about this"her manager said all proud.


"yea,that's really good,i am the same way"


"i know,aigooo why don't you just date in real life"


"what?"i said all taken aback,this conversation bring back memories.


"omo,we are just friends-"


"what were the two of you saying just now?"I turn where the voice came from,i saw an angel,she was gorgeous,she was dressed in white,her make up was light and matched her perfectly,she came down from the staris in all her beauty,she is mesmerizing and everyone in the room are now speachless,she is glowing. We came back to reality only when she finally came down from the stairs.


"So?what were you people talking about?"she looked at the both of us smiling sweetly.


"oh!you sure are beautiful!great today you glow"her manager start to praise her


"it's not true,please there will be more beautiful actresses than me,but thanks anyway"she said a little shy.What's there to be shy about,she must hear this every single day and she is still so humble as to say that?.Our eyes just met and my heart is flattering,she really is beautiful.


"hi jong ki sshi,it's been awhile"


"yea,it's been awhile"We smiled in the same moment,but since we have to go now,talking face to face only us alone,have to wait for later.I helped her to enter the van then after her i entered too,our manager are in another car.


"you are beautiful today,hye kyo i mean it"


"thank you,you too jong ki,you are really handsome"


"omo i am honored"


She looked me in the eyes and said those words,how should i take this words and why my heart is beating so fast."could i be...". We just arrived, "ok,thanks,see you later"we both said.


"hye kyo i will go first"


"sure"she smiled at me


"give me your hand"she looked at me a bit surprised then smiled sweetly


"ok"so we finally are out and started to walk,i wanted to hold her hand,so i offered my hand to her and she reached for my hand too without esitation,i mean we are friends so what is the problem in holding her hand in front of everyone. Sometimes she had to hold her own dress so she let go,i was sad because i wanted her hand to be in mine all the time.We waved our hands to our fans and take photos,and looked at every direction,but i can't help and look at her,she is beautiful really,sometimes i can't figure her out,she is a kind and funny woman,but also misterious,like at this moment,her eyes hipnotized me and captured me,tonight particularly,i can't contain the urge to touch her.I can't read her mind,but i really want to know,what she think about us holding hands and hugging,because to me it's like we are at our own wedding.


"you are the most beautiful among all the actresses tonight"i wispered at her


"she looked at me and then laughed "you are the most handsome and manly man among all the man here tonight" i was surprised and happy, i laughed together with her.
We finally entered the all and we found our seat,together with us is also our precious yoo ha in and our kim min suk,hye kyo took a lot of care of him on set,i am a bit jealous,i am joking he is really a nice guy and i am happy we could see again after so much time.


"yoo ah in,we are together tonight"


"yes so it seems"we hugged each other


"hye kyo noona!you are gorgeous tonight,really breath-taking"


"thanks yo ha in,but you are no joke,you are really good looking"she said as she smiled at him and him to her and to me too.


"song song couple hu?guys this seems like it's your wedding instead of the 52th baeksang awards,could you really be dating?"yoo ah in said with a big smirk on his face.


"ahahah,it would be good but he has a girlfriend and we are just friends"Yoo ha in made a surprised face and looked at me as if to say"you haven't told her?" i shake my had and look at him,he understood me and stopped the conversation there.It was beautiful we won the most in the drama category i was really happy, just one thing i was disappointed with was the fact that hye kyo who was nominated for ecxellent actress award,didn't win.After earing the name of the actress who actually won she applaudes smiling widely,but i knew she was disappointed by it,so i wanted to comfort her and while she clapped her hand i suddenly grabbed one, i wanted for her to know i was by her side,she didn't cry or anything like that she just said:


"don't worry jong ki,thanks for your concern but i am really fine,i already won 2 awards,why should i be sad if i didn't win this award,and also she deserved it. She is a really good actress,so don't worry,but i accept this hand of yours"she said smiling and looking and me while she raised our linked hands for me to see that she appreciated it.


"good girl"i said while carressing lightly her head.


"ya!your girlfriend will misunderstan-drrrr"sorry jong ki,i have to answer my phone.Sure go ahead.


"yeobuseyo?"her face became pale and she suddely became silent,she suddenly got up and walked outside the hall.


"hye kyo what-"she waved her hand as to say,i will come back soon. I waited for awhile but she still didn't came and i was really worried o i ran after her too i searched everyehere til i hear two people fighting,i was curious so i opened a little the door,she was there win won bin that assole! when i saw that it felt like someone put 10 knife in my heart.


"what are you doing here,tell me now that i am calm"


"i have to say something,but here is not the right place-"


"no it's ok,here no one ever come,but just in case,be fast and tell me,i have to go"she said seriously pissed off.


"can't we try again?"he is looking seriously at her and she is now shocked to hear that,my chest started to hurt,at the only thought of her positive answer,i want to go and stop them but my legs won't move,damn it!.


"biccinnum,are you crazy?tell me why are you doing this hu? it's because you want to use my fame to make your name known again?you fake, hassole"

"i know you are mad and that you would think this way,but it's not like that"


"then what it is"her expression became that of someone who can't care less,but i know it's not like that.


"...i love you and i regretted what happened back then for all this years,i was a coward and let you handle everything"


"ahahah,you cheated on me and now you are spouting all this nonsense?...don't get near me or call me anymore,because you will regret it"she said all serious,she passed him by and walked toward the exit door but he grabbed her waist turned her to face him


"what are you doing?!"


"you are beautiful tonight song hye kyo"then he suddenly hug her.



"let me go!you !i hate you!let me go!"my heart is frozen and my anger suddenly piled up,so i opened the door and took her waist away from his hold.


"let her go,she hate what you are doing"


"jong ki..."she looked surprised.


"what are you doing here"


"song jong ki...it's not of your buisness,go away"


"it is my buisness..."i am now looking her in the eyes seriously and certain of what i am about to say.


"because i love this woman and i want to make her happy,so now let her go,you lost the right to be with her a long time ago",he looked at me surprised and then slowly let go of her.Whith the hand i am olding her i suddenly bring her towards me.She is now in my harms.


"Go away right now and don't ever show up again in front of her,understand?"he is still looking at her,he kept on  looking at her without even blinking,he won't stop...i hate it!"GO AWAY RIGHT NOW!".He finally got out of the room and i can feel her staring at me,i finally know that what i felt for her all this time,wasn't at a friend level,that the way i want to touch her is different than the touch a friend can give. She still looking at me speachless  and i finally looked at her in silence,as a man,i want her to look at me as the man that i am,she frowened,i can see in her eyes that she is a little scared,she closed her lips who where apart,just a few seconds ago.


She looked away and broke the hug,smiled a little unconfortably and said"jong ki,what are you doing here...anyway thanks for what you just did,anyway you shouldn't have lied like that"


"...i didn't lie,i really do love you"


She finally turned to look at me in disbelief"...what are you saying?we are friends and anyway you have a girlf-"


"we broke up"


"...what?...why?"she asked hesitant.


"because we didn't love each other,she just wanted to use me and i...belived that what i felt for her was love but i finally realized that i was wrong,i never loved her"


"jong ki...this..."


"please don't look at me this way,i don't want to burden you but being your friend,isn't enough anymore. I finally understand why everytime i look at you my heart beat fast"i bring her right hand to my chest.


"jong ki...what are you doing?"


"can you hear it,this is my heart...and it's beating like this only for you"she looked at me with those beautiful brown eyes,who seems to know anything in this world,those beautiful eyes are looking only at me right now."do you remember at the the first press conference,when you said you will accept if someone confessed to you like yoo si jin did?


"...yea..."


"but the one behind yoo si jin,is me,jong ki...and now i am confessing to you".then i let go of her hand,she looked away,as if she isn't sure of what to do"I know that you suffered a lot in the past and that no matter how many times i tell you i am not like them,that i will cherish you and make you happy,you won't belive me...that's why i hope you can give me the chance of showing you how sincere and serious i am towards you...i will wait for your answer,i am sorry if i made you unconfortable,but i hope..."i carressed gently her cheeck and tried to force a smile,but i am scared of her reaction,so i am not in the mood to smile cheerfully,"you can give me a chance.
If you...have the same feelings as me,please don't be scared and come to me".
She is silent,she isn't saying anything to me,she just looks at me with a painful expression, i didn't want to make it hard for her.


"let's go now,they must be worried"


"...yes we better go"i went ahead and she followed me.


After the awards it was time for us to go back home,we said good bye to yo an in and kim min suk,promising to go out together in the future maybe in yoo ah in restaurant,me and song hye kyo said good bye to each other,now she is going in her van and i in the car with my manager,i don't know what she is thinking righ now,but i hope that even a little bit she have some feelings for me.


Meanwhile in song hye kyo's van.


She is sitting in her favourite place near the window with her hand on her chin,her face is as red as a tomato.