I sighed deeply as I gazed up at the dark sky. A lot of people had given me odd looks as they passed me. I didn't know whether it was because I was lying flat on a bench by the Han River by myself or that fact that it was almost midnight, or that it was the middle of winter and the frigid wind off the river chilled everything to the core. Whatever the reason... I could care less. Seoul's excessive light bleached the stars from the sky and all that was visible was the small fingernail of a moon directly above my head. I watched as my breath puffed out in small silver clouds that spiraled up into the dark sky. I shuddered as a sudden gust of wind found its way into my jacket. I pulled my scarf closer around my neck and blew on my bare hands. Just then a small twinkle of light caught my eye and I strained my eyes to see it better. A star? Or a planet? It blinked at me innocently for a moment before it flashed red and lazily drew itself across the sky. An airplane. I sighed and looked away from the annoying little light to focus my attention back on the yellow sliver of moon. I had always loved looking up into the sky with such a sense of wonder and adventure in my heart, but now that I lived in the city, there wasn’t much to look at. Only the moon and the moon was as fickle as any other thing. It waxed and waned, came and went, but at least I could rely on when it would leave me. It was always on schedule in that aspect. I would always know when it wasn’t going to be there. Unlike many other things in my life.

Without my permission, my mind began to playback memories that I had fought so hard to contain and lock away. Spring. Cherry blossoms and smiles. Ice cream and sweet ice cream-flavored kisses. Breezes that ruffled my hair and a hand that always found its way into mine. Summer. Warm walks in parks and laughing under a parasol. Me fanning a tired face with a duck-shaped fan. Sweet touches to the cheek with fingertips and small whispers in my ear that never failed to make my heart hiccup. I closed my eyes and attempted to restart my mind, to wipe those dreadful images from my mind’s eye, but all in vain. Soon it was the end of fall, winter approaching rapidly. There were no arguments, just silence as I waited at a café. Waiting. Waiting. Calling. Swallowing my sadness and loneliness. Never saying what I wanted to. And then eventually, just an end. The last memory played like an old movie in black and white. The two of us standing on a doorstep, him clasping my hand and both of us looking into each other’s eyes with such sadness that it still brought tears to my eyes. And then eventually him pulling away and letting his hand fall out mine and I never saw him again.

The only trace of him was the songs when I walked on the streets and the occasional glimpse of him on TV or in magazines. He simply disappeared and so had I. The heartbreak was still fresh in my mind even though a few months had passed. I sat up and pulled my jacket about me tighter and took one last look at the moon. It shone it’s sad yellow light at me and its perfect smile curve almost seemed to mock me. I blew out my breath and stood up, turning away from the moon without another glance at it.

“It’s you.”

A voice made me look up and I was met with eyes that I could never forget, but so desperately wanted to.

Dean’s face was almost as surprised as mine. He stood stark still his back rigidly straight. “It is you,” he whispered. His back relaxed and his shoulders were released from their tense state.

My eyes glided from his face down his body. A black hat sat low on his head and he wore his signature hoodie with a large flannel shirt over it and then a large dark jacket over that tapered down to simple jeans and combat boots. He looked no different from the last time I had seen him. I wanted to smile but couldn’t allow it. All I could say was, “It’s you,” back to him.

He laughed at my response and I willed my heart not to squeeze at the sound. It was like the most melancholy music I had ever heard. Tears burned on the back of my eyes but I choked them back. “What are you doing here?” I asked him. “It’s so late.”

“I could ask you the same thing,” he countered. I thought he was going to tease me more, knowing him, but instead he answered my question. "I though you'd be here," he confessed. 

I in my breath and didn't want to believe him. He hadn't come looking for me, had he? He couldn't have. The two of you hadn't seen each other in months and he had been busy. He just debuted. He was becoming more popular. This couldn't happen now. Could it? 

He laughed at my confused expression. "You haven't changed," he mused. "I'm glad you didn't." 

Silence swallowed the air around us and I were at a loss for words. What did I want to say? What did he want to say? What did he want me to say? 

"Sorry," he finally said after an eternity of silence. "I'm sorry for showing up like this. I know the way we said good bye isn't a memory you like. But I honestly don't know what to do now. I miss you. But how are you? Good, right?" 

I still couldn't talk, still couldn't think of what to say, still couldn't bring myself to forgive him or myself. But those old feelings were beginning to bubble up just as strong as they were when the two of you were together. Those kind of feelings weren't easily forgotten.  

Dean smiled a small sad smiled as he looked down at his feet. "I know I have no right, but I'm going to do this." He took two long steps across the space between the two of us and swept me into his arms. My breath was instantly caught out of my mouth and I gasped in surprise. He hugged me tightly against his chest and I suddenly I felt safe again. He looked down at me and when he pressed his mouth to mine I felt whole again. Now we could be two whole halves together to make one.