You sighed as you glanced around the corner of the building. The long line of people intimidated you. You silently cursed your boyfriend for calling you out today. You pulled the baseball cap farther down your forehead as you struggled internally. Should you go in past all the people? Or should you try to find a back door? Would the people at the front table recognize you and let you in? But what if there was security at the back door who wouldn’t recognize you?

“Aish…” you hissed under your breath. “Of all days, why was it today?” you complained quietly to yourself. You took a deep breath and gripped the lunches you had in a bag closer to your body. You blew out your breath, mustered all of your courage and began to march towards the front doors. The distance between you and the front doors seemed to get longer and longer even as you walked toward them. As you passed the people standing in line, you could feel eyes on you as you marched straight up to the front doors and up to the administrative table.

“You’ll have to wait like everyone else,” the woman sitting at the table said without even look up at you.

“Um, I’m not here to audition,” you said timidly. “I’m here to make a delivery for one of the producers.”

“Nice try,” she scoffed still looking down at the papers she kept shuffling in front of her. “You’re not the only fangirl here to see the producers. But unless you’re here to audition, no one else is allowed in the auditorium.”

You were about to say something else when the young man sitting next to her leaned over and quietly spoke to her. “Noona, you seriously don’t know who she is?” he said gently. “She’s…” he trailed off as the woman’s eyes raised to finally look at you. Her eyes widened ever so slightly and you bowed your head slightly in greeting. The woman didn’t say anything and seemed rooted to her spot. The man seated next to her glanced at her and seemed to internally cringe at her lack of action. Instead he stood and ushered you around the table to follow him. “Please follow me,” he said politely.

You followed him across the lobby towards some double doors.  “Is he expecting you,” the young man asked quietly.

“Yes,” you replied. “I’m actually a little early. If he’s still recording I can wait.”

“No, no,” the man assured you. As you reached the double doors. “He should be done soon. If you go through these doors and down the hallway, there will be an auditorium on your left with a sign on it. He should be free in about 15 minutes. Also, please excuse my coworker. It’s been a long day.”

You smiled at him. “No, that’s totally fine,” you assured him. “This is a big project and you guys do great work. Fighting!!”

He smiled back at you and opened the door for you. “Thank you and I hope you have fun on your date”

The door swung shut behind you and you were left alone in the relatively quiet hallway. You followed the man’s instructions and found the auditorium. You could hear voices on the set behind the doors and the beat of music. You carefully opened the doors and peeked through to the set behind it. You in your breath when your eyes landed on the set. You didn’t know they were in this stage of filming yet. Your eyes fell on the elevated platform that had couches on them and the stage with the ring of fire. Second round eliminations of Show Me The Money. You could see the heads of the producer teams sitting in the couches and a contestant exiting the stage. A cameraman spotted you and flagged a crew to come talk to you. A woman with a headpiece ran over to you and smiled. “You’re here to see him for lunch?” she said more as a statement rather than a question. Before you could even nod or say anything she took your hand and pulled you to the side of the stage but still in the shadows of the crew and cameras. “We’ll make it fun,” she smiled mischievously. “We’ll say it’s the last contestant before lunch and you can surprise him on stage. Okay? Just go up to the back of the stage and come out when they call you.”

Before you could say anything, she ran off and you were ushered up to backstage and given a mic by another crew member. You sighed heavily but resigned yourself to your fate. You waited anxiously behind stage as they wrapped up with the real last contestant of the day. You heard the woman crew member come over the loud speaker. “Next is today’s last contestant before lunch. After this we will take an hour and a half lunch break. Thank you.”

“Okay, okay!” you heard what you thought was Jay Park’s voice. “Let’s get it! Please come out.”

You sighed because you could almost feel the teasing coming already. Instead you pulled your hat way down your forehead to cover your face and brought your hoody’s hood up to cover most of your face. You slowly stepped out onto stage and slowly made your way towards the middle of the fire pit stage. You knew it looked weird because you had a giant bag of boxed lunches. You heard a noticeable silence amongst the producers as they took in your hood-covered face, oversized black hoody, distressed denim shorts, and Dr. Marten boots.

“Our last contestant before lunch~” you heard Dok2 say. “I don’t remember seeing you at first round.”

“Oh! Me neither,” Choiza stated.

You raised the mic to your mouth. “I was rather unmemorable. My name is RHDM and I’m 22 years old. I hope you will remember me today,” you said more confidently than you felt. “Please take care of me. I will do my best today.”

“DJ DaQ, let’s get it!” Jay Park crooned.

Dean’s Seoul City came on over the speakers and you almost laughed. You held it in and began to do a rap that you had practiced on your own time. You didn’t look over in his direction once. When the beat fell off and you stood in the middle again holding in your laughter. You couldn’t help but almost laugh at the producer’s praise. It was nice to hear but you only rapped when you were by yourself.

“Hold on a minute,” you heard Tiger JK say suddenly. “You said your name was RHDM?”

“Yes,” you answered simply bowing your head to cover your face with the brim of your hat. You knew you were going to be found out soon.

“I don’t know what it is,” Tiger JK said, “but you seem very familiar. I feel like I’ve seen you on Instagram or Facebook…?” He trailed off in a question and you were meant to answer.

“To be honest,” you said quietly and paused for a minute, “I’m not actually a SMTM6 contestant.” You paused again for dramatic effect and laughed to yourself a little. “I’m actually here to deliver your lunch,” you said happily as you pulled your hood and pushed your hat back so the producers could see your face.

The producers erupted in a fuss when you revealed yourself. All of them stood up and exclaimed at you and laughed in surprise. You laughed with them and suddenly your eyes met his. To your surprise, your boyfriend stood and jumped down from the platform with the couches, ran over to the stage, and hoisted himself onto the stage. Dean was suddenly in front of you pulling you into his arms. You laughed breathlessly in his arms. It had been so long since he held you like this.

“Awwwwwwwww~” all the other producers crooned.

Dean pulled back and took your hand to pull you over to the stairs that lead up to the couches. He introduced you to all the producers even though you didn’t need any introduction although it was the first time you were meeting them personally. Finally, the crew dismissed you all for break and you all retired to a waiting room. As you were seated around the table, you brought out the lunches. “Although it’s not a lot, Dean asked me to prepare lunch today, but I thought I would make everyone lunch.” You began to pass out the lunches and take out some side dishes and cut fruit.

An eruption of exclamations rose from the producers.

“It looks so yummy,” Bizzy complimented.

“Thank you for the meal,” Gaeko yelled.

Zico looked sidelong at Dean. “You know, you should marry her,” he said loudly to Dean.

You blushed suddenly at the thought. “Yeah you really should!” Jay joined in.

“She’d make a wonderful wife,” Tiger JK agreed more quietly.

Dean glanced at you and smiled shyly. “I probably will.” He intended to say it quietly enough for only you to hear, but it was louder than he thought. The entire room heard and suddenly there was chaos. The teasing became even worse but soon it quieted as everyone ate lunch.

You and Dean finished lunch early and excused yourselves for some coffee. Dean brought you a small cup from the vending machine as the two of you sat on the bottom step of the stairs at the end of the hall. You leaned your head on his shoulder and sighed in content. It had been so long since the two of you had seen each other. Dean had been in Europe and then sick and then filming SMTM6. Moreover, you had been busy at work and hadn’t had the freedom to come see him whenever he was free. He wrapped his arm around you and pulled you closer. You could feel his warmth through your hoody and it seemed to fill your heart with warmth.

“I missed you,” he murmured as the arm wrapped around you played with the loose ends of your hair. “I missed this.”

You smiled at his words. “I missed you too,” you replied. “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to come see you sooner.”

You felt Dean shake his head and move closer to you. “I’m just glad I can see you.” The two of you sat for a few minutes in comfortable silence and you closed your eyes in comfort. You finally felt whole again. After a minute you glanced up at Dean. He looked down at you and you smiled widely. “You’re smiling like a babo (fool) again,” he teased. The two of you laughed quietly before you leaned forward so your lips could meet. Dean seemed to be taken surprise at first, but he soon kissed you sweetly back. The feeling of his tender lips against yours was all you needed for your worries to completely disappear.

After a time, it was almost time for Dean to go and finish recording for the day. The two of you stood in the hallway outside of his waiting room. You leaned against the wall as he played idly with your hands. The bag with the lunch dishes were in your bag at your feet. Dean leaned closer to you and he seemed to tower over you as he trapped you against the wall. He laid his forehead on your shoulder and took both of your hands in his. “You know you can come over after recording,” you murmured to him.

He chuckled and lifted his head to look at you. “Really?” he whispered. His breath brushed against your ear and neck and made you shiver. Dean nuzzled his nose into your neck and inhaled your smell. His nose trailed up your neck to behind your ear, and across your cheek until his lips hovered just above yours. Suddenly, the door to his waiting room ripped open and Zico’s head burst out to glare at you two from the doorway.

“You two could get a room,” he chided teasingly.

I smiled and almost laughed as Zico went back into the waiting room. “Dean!” Zico called. “Make it quick! We’re on set in 5 minutes.”

Dean sighed but turned back to you and kissed you forcefully. His lips moved against yours in some urgency and you were surprised but happy to reciprocate his affection. Dean pulled away and smiled at you. He took your cheeks between his hands gently and brought your lips to his for a long but delicate kiss. As he tried to pull away, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer to you as your back hit the wall. You loved this feeling. It was one of the places in the world where you felt completely safe. The house of Dean’s arms. Finally, you pulled away and let Dean go. “Come after recording, okay?” you whispered to him.

He nodded and removed yourself from his embrace. You waved as he went into his waiting room. You walked out the doors lightly and looked forward to seeing Dean later. Dean entered his waiting room comfortably until he was suddenly confronted by Zico. Zico eyed Dean up and down before laughing loudly and tacking Dean with so much force. “You really lucked out, you babo!” Zico exclaimed.

Dean laughed. “Yeah, I did. I really have lucked out with her.” He and Zico left the waiting room and suddenly to Dean, the weight of being a judge on SMTM6 lifted and he was lighter than air.