be prepared for the angst and the pain.

thank you for the comments and subscribers :D

p.s please dont hate me for this update 

warning: a couple of cursing

Jongin had never run so fast in his life, even when he ran after Krystal’s car when she left her hanky with him. Jongin had run instead of taking a cab, damn maybe I should have taken a cab! He thought as he panted hard as he arrived at his doorstep.

He clutched his chest, heavily panting as he reached for the door and a run towards Sehee’s bedroom, ignoring the bewildered look that his nephew and sister were sporting. He was till panting as he reached her door.

Never in his whole life has he been worried like this. That kind of worry that drives you nuts and to the edge knowing that you don’t have an idea of what is going on, no one had made him worry like this, not until Sehee came. He feels worried and paranoid not knowing what Sehee is thinking and feeling. Jongin felt his heart was drowning into the depths of fear as he knocked on Sehee’s door but no one is answering. Dread came over to Jongin as the worst case scenarios flooded in his mind.

“Sehee, damn it, open the door and stop scaring me less already” he whined loudly as he could. He can feel something dropped on the floor. He can hear the loud thump from the other side of the door

“Shut it Kim Jongin! Leave! I dont want to talk to your stinky ” he can hear the faint yelling from the other side. He can tell that Sehee’s voice was a little hoarse. He felt something ache inside of him. It was the first time that Sehee actually told him to leave. He grimace at the cold tone from her but it didnt waver his courage to spat back

“You can’t boss me what to do Oh Sehee, i ing run all the way home from school coz I was damn worried about you!” he spat back angrily as he tried opening the door knob.

“Who the told you to worry about me?! I am nobody to you so go your dream girl and leave me alone!”

Jongin felt anger surge into him as those words hit him like a storm. He felt confusion flood him.

She’s jealous again?  He thought to himself, very annoyed from Sehee’s tone

“Yaah Oh Sehee!! Why are you ing jealous when you are not even my girlfriend?!” he blurted accidentally out of annoyance and anger. His eyes widen as those words left from his lips. He heard shuffles from the other side of the door, he was beyond shock on how and why he said those words, knowing that Sehee will never forgive him.

She opened the door, eyes red and puffy from tears, Jongin never felt so pathetic in his life. Her nose was red from crying and flu. Jongin felt his heart breaking, Sehee was livid and angry!

What have I done?! Jongin thought as the thought of slapping himself occurred

THWACK

Jongin felt a stinging pain on his cheek as Sehee slammed the door on his face. Jongin knew he was digging his own grave

Days passed

Jongin felt his heart was breaking even more as Sehee started drifting away from him. Since the day he had uttered those words, she had never spoken a single word to him. The BaekYeol couple however, had eaten his ears out and was cursing him to death, more likely Baekhyun cursing him and Chanyeol keeps sending a disappointed.

 FLASHBACK

As soon as Baekhyun and Chanyeol arrived in the Wu mansion, they were greeted by a devastated Jongin and an angry TaoTao who was punching Jongin on the arm

“Bad uncwe, made Sehee cry” the five year old punch as strong as he could before Junhee carried him out with a angry glare at Jongin and an apologetic smile to the other two. Jongin, however, was cradling his head, feeling remorse and guilt had eaten his heart out. He never meant to say those words. He never wanted to embarrass Sehee and make her cry. He was just so angry and worried about her.

Baekhyun frowned as the words of the five year old became much clearer in his mind. After re-telling what had transpired earlier, Baekhyun had lunge into him calling him an , a jerk and a bastard all in one sentence! Chanyeol had to hold his slightly older boyfriend before he can actually hit Jongin in the face. Baekhyun was panting from anger.

“Let’s go before I can kill him, Channie” He said as he let his boyfriend held him to his side, hoping to calm him down a bit. Jongin felt his heart was torn into pieces as Baekhyun said those words

“I will never let Sehee be with you again. You good for nothing selfish bastard, you have no idea how lucky you are . I can’t believe Sehee had fallen for a jerk like you!” Baekhyun ranted angrily as he turned to his heels and allowed Chanyeol to lead him out.

Jongin knew he had indeed made a mess that may or may never be fixed

Even his noona gave him a cold shoulder. Luckily, Yifan-hyung had still talk to him,however, his hyung was pretty much disappointed

Flashback

“Noona, I might be home late. I have dance rehearsals and basketball practice” he said as he drank his coffee in one go. It was just them, Yifan-hyung and Junhee-noona. Sehee had woken up early and left with Chanyeol and Baekhyun. He felt a pang in his heart as the thought of Sehee comes into his mind. They used to go to school together. They usually take turns on whose going to drive but it seems like, he has to drive on his own from now on. Jongin felt his heart twitched as the thought of Sehee slowly being out of his reach invade his senses.

Jongin knew his sister was mad, however, she didnt say anything to him. He saw his noona nodded and kissed his hyung.

“i’m going to check on Tao” she said and left him and Yifan-hyung in the kitchen. Jongin felt like he was an outsider. He felt his feelings sank even more as his sister had acknowledge his presence through nods and “yes” or “no”

He grabbed his bag and sighed. Look like I’m on my own Jongin thought. He was half way out when a familiar large hand grabbed his shoulder.

“Let me drive you to school” He heard his hyung said as he gave him a small smile. Jongin shook his head and tried to smile. At least there was one person who cared.

“It’s ok, hyung. Noona might get mad at you”

“No, I insist” he said. Jongin  just nodded and went into his hyung’s car as he heard his hyung shouted saying that he is taking him to school. They drove in awkward silence. Jongin was waiting for his hyung to reprimand him however nothing came. He felt guilty as the thought of Sehee had crossed into his mind.

Yifan knew what Jongin was thinking but he knew better than make things worse. It was enough that Jongin was suffering from the cold treatment and silent treatment that he is getting. He knew Jongin tried to grovel for Sehee’s forgiveness but he was often blocked by their friends and TaoTao. Tao had once thrown bubble tea on Jongin when Jongin tried to appease Sehee with bubble tea. Chanyeol had pulled a prank on Jongin for being mean at Sehee but Jongin never fought back. he sighed as he watch his brother-in-law sighed heavily.

“You know, You can always talk to me “He chided at the younger as he parked his vehicle on the parking lot.

“It’s just that i have tried everything hyung” He heard Jongin barely whispered those words. He can feel the agony in the younger’s voice.

“Maybe you should try harder” he suggested Jongin forced a smile and nodded as he grabbed his stuff and went in before the bell rings, signalling the start of class

Now here he was, sitting with Krystal and her friends. Ever since that day, Chanyeol and Baekhyun had ignored him, and were always with Sehee. Everytime that he would approach Sehee, Chanyeol would block him from Sehee. He felt his heart breaking even more when Sehee had given him a cold hard glare that she often gives to other people. He tried seeking help from his friends but they were often ignored and called him an . For the first time in his life, Jongin longed for Sehee’s voice and her touch. He missed the way she leaned over and bury her face on his neck. He missed the way she holds his hand and the way she treats him like he was the only person that matters. Sitting with Krystal makes him feel lost and pathetic

For the first time he longed to be with Sehee rather than be with Krystal. He hated himself even more. Isn’t this something you wish? A voice in his head said as Jongin absently nodded at Krystal. But why am i not happy to be with Krystal? He pondered even more as he saw Sehee laughed at Chanbaek’s antics.

Krystal was never so happy when she found out that Jongin and Sehee had a fight. She was ecstatic and over the moon however, she felt remorse and jealousy even more. She had tried to capture Jongin’s attention but the sun-kissed jock had his eyes trained on a certain lady. She envy how his face filled with longing when that pale-skinned ice queen would laugh and smile. She envies how she had captured Jongin’s attention. Her pastries were often uneaten and unintentionally unappreciated as Jongin would often give her a small smile and gave it back to her.

Krystal knew she was little too late.

Jongin heaved a heavy sigh trying to get the courage to talk to Sehee as he saw her alone in the library. He slowly trekked towards her when suddenly he saw  a handsome lad. He was a bit short but looks a little younger than Sehee. He possessed a very captivating smile that makes Jongin feel insecurity coming into him

He was talking to Sehee, Sehee was smiling at the other man. Her eyes smiling like the way she used to smile at him. Jongin never felt so angry in his life as the other guy kissed her cheek and a blushed adorned her pale skinned. He was livid! How can he kissed her just like that he thought as his mood darken as the guy leaned over as if trying to kiss Sehee’s lips. Jongin never moved so fast in his life as he shoved the other away.

“What the hell, Jongin!” Sehee screeched as she helped the handsome stranger to stand up.

“Yah, Oh Sehee why are you letting this guy kissed you!” he said angry and livid as Sehee helped the other up, helping him dust off his clothes. Jongin felt rage in to his heart as Sehee glared at him even more

“What the Kim Jongin, why did you do that to my boy friend!”

Jongin felt his world crumble down on her words as the realization hit him on the face. Everything slowly makes sense. The anger,the jealousy and the fear of losing Sehee forever. His eye widen as his heart dropped. Jongin stared as Sehee and the newcomer left him standing alone. One thing was clear to him now but in the end he was tad too late.

! I’m in love with her