Jisoo's mind was blank. He doesn't know what to think as he enters his condo. He went to the kitchen to grab a drink when he noticed that everything is clean. He raises his eyebrow as he knows this area was full of garbage before leaving in the morning. He looks confuse for a minute but gave up and thought maybe Taehyung gave him a favor. He decided to walk into the living room to take a sit first before going to bath when he sees a feminine old woman sitting across the table with her back facing him. When he got closer to her, his heart turns into a little boy when he realized who is it.

 

"Oh Jisoo I'm glad you're home. Your condo was a mess! I needed to call some- oh my there's blood in your shirt!" His grandma said with a concern but Jisoo was not shaken off. His tears automatically fall before hugging her tightly to show how much he misses her, how much he needed her now.

 

He cries like a little boy in her arms. She holds him earnestly as she knows what is he going through right now "Everything will be okay"

 

Jisoo just buried his face even more as he heard those words. He wanted to tell her everything but no words are coming out from his mouth. He just let his tears speak for him.

 

---------

 

He takes a bath right away as his grandma insisted. He opens the shower and felt a little tense when his skin finally made contact with water. He closes his eyes as he feels the water flowing all over his body. He felt relax for a moment but he was glad to still feel calm just for a minute in his life. He tries to think nothing but little did he know, tears are starting to unite with water brushing on his face. He doesn't say anything nor do something. He just let everything fall the way it was supposed to be.

 

After an hour, he finished fixing himself. He was about to pack clothes when he noticed a bag on his bed. He quickly raised his eyebrow when his grandma enters his room

 

"I packed it up for you" His grandma had said. He was confused on how his grandma knew

 

"Taehyung said to me what happened that made me rush to go here and check you" Jisoo simply nods and not expressing any emotion

 

His grandma walks towards him and holds his cheeks that made a tear fall all of a sudden. She wipes it gently and waves his hair softly

 

"You don't need to explain yourself to me. You've struggled enough" Jisoo smiles while waving his head as a sign of no

 

"If someone had struggled the most here, it would be him. I made him struggle grandma. I... I can't lose him this time without telling him what I really feel. I was so dumb to be angry with him because he hurted me. I was stupid to not know I hurt him in the most painful way. I... I don't know where to start grandma. I honestly don't know" He starts to sob again but prevents himself to do so

 

His grandma just comforts him with her touches. He doesn't know what to say to him. He wanted to say comfort words but he knows, it won't work. She just wipes his tears as he knows what he needs right now. She can't do anything but she can stay by his side as he needed her the moment like this. She felt guilty leaving him alone. Jisoo just smiles at her while wiping his tears with his fingers.

 

 

----------

 

 

"His room is at 3rd floor room 14. I'll be right there. I'll just go somewhere else. okay. bye grandma" Jisoo hang up as he parked his car in front of a familiar house

 

He sighs deeply as he gets out from the car. He feels old going back here. This is the first time in a year he didn't visit this house for awhile. As he enters the house, he noticed Jeonghan's luggage. He walks towards it and gets it all

 

"You really just flew back today" He thought to himself

 

He quickly left the house to go to Jeonghan as soon as possible but he was stop when someone surprised him that made some of Jeonghan's things drop on the grass

 

"Oh- Hansol, you scared me" He said while picking up some bags that dropped

 

Hansol just looks at him with a hint that something is going on. When Jisoo lifts it again, he raises his eyebrow as he senses that something is wrong "Is everything alright? by the way, what are you doing here?"

 

Jisoo begins to move all the luggage in the backseat while waiting for Hansol's answer

 

"Following you" Hansol said straightforwardly that made Jisoo stops on what he was doing

 

"What?" He confusingly asked

 

"Who’s the owner of that luggage?" Hansol seriously questioned while looking intensely at Jisoo. Jisoo have thought that he didn't told Hansol what happened yet

 

"It's... Jeonghan's. He was at the hospital. I'll tell you later what happened. I needed to go there right now-" He was about to enter his car when Hansol said something that triggers him to look back

 

"That serves him right. He will not hold on for too long" Hansol said emotionlessly

 

"What?" Jisoo looks at him surprised. This is the first time he heard him with that kind of tone

 

"You heard me clearly Jisoo" Hansol provokes. Jisoo walks to him and holds his shoulder

 

"What's happening to you Hansol?" He worriedly asked, "Did something happened?"

 

"Yeah. He's back. He's back again to steal you from me" Hansol said firmly while trying to restrain his tears from falling

 

Jisoo is now totally confused "What... what are you saying Hansol?"

 

"You heard me clearly Jisoo. Why making yourself a fool for him? He never loves you back. He never did, he never will-"

 

"I love him" Jisoo says straight to the point. He knows what Hansol is trying to say. He always has this conversation with him but he always say what's truth to him

 

Hansol just lets out a pathetic laugh "But what about me?"

 

Jisoo was now lost "Why do you mean by that?"

 

"Don't you love me too?" He says it with courage this time. He had enough. All this years fighting behind their back is making him pathetic.

 

"I-I do... I always do but-" Hansol cuts him off

 

"But not the same as you love him. I get it" Jisoo widens up his eyes "W-what-"

 

"I love you Jisoo all this time. Not as your friend, or even your best friend but I love you like I want you." Hansol said while preventing his tears to fall "Now, can you say you love me too?"

 

Jisoo was speechless. He doesn't know what to say. He went blank just by looking at him. He closes his eyes and looks away to think. His heart beats faster but he knows what it means. He sighs heavily and faces him

 

"Hansol... let's not talk about it right now. I need to go to the hospital-" he started calmly but Hansol interrupted him

 

"Why can't you answer me right now?! Is he more important than me?!" he provokes

 

Jisoo wanted to stay calm but Hansol won't let him be. He sighs deeply and looks at him straight "Please Hansol, don't make me hurt you"

 

Hansol cannot take it and lets his tears to fall "I'm not stupid to not know the meaning of that. Why can't you just answer me?"

 

Jisoo just closes his eyes "Hansol... I... If I answer you, I might lose you too"

 

The latter looks at him "You can't have both of us"

 

"Hansol you're my friend-"

 

"But I don't want to be just friends! I want you Jisoo, don't you get that?!" He explodes

 

Jisoo sighs. He knows what he wants but he can never give it to him. He walks closer to him and holds his hands tightly "Hansol, I... I love you... as my friend. That's it. I'm thankful to have you being at my side all the time but... Jeonghan is different. I love him that I can sacrifice all I have for him including my life. Hansol... please understand me. I don't want to lose you too"

 

Hansol's tears consecutively fall in every word he heard. His heart felt a thousand stabs that he felt numb in a moment. He takes up all he has to look at him straight from his eyes to see if there is a hint of confusion to what he say but he it hurts him more finding nothing.

 

"I need to go. I'll call you later" Jisoo said and when he was about to go inside his car, Hansol said something to make him look at him again

 

"Then what about last night?"

 

Jisoo felt heavy reminding him what happened last night with him. His heart suddenly beats faster as it hits him what he did. He doesn't know what to say about it and thinks thoroughly while avoiding his gaze

 

"Hansol... what happened last night... was a mistake. We both get drunk and things happened. There's nothing more there" He tries to explain it with his words. He takes a side if he can hurt Hansol with it but he needs to be honest to him at least

 

"But... it was real to me. It's not a mistake. I felt the l-"

 

"No Hansol. It's just... pure alcohol. That's it. Please, forget it as much as I want it to." He attempts to gets in his car this time but Hansol doesn't want to stop

 

"That's it?! Forget it?! It's not that easy Jisoo!" He lets out

 

"It is" He said reaching his own limit "Nothing happened between us that is serious Hansol"

 

Hansol just nods while wiping his tears which is no use "So I'm not the type of person that anyone can be serious with. I get that part."

 

He walks away without looking back that add another fuel in Jisoo's heart.

 

-----------

 

It has been a week but Hansol was not answering Jisoo. He always calls him every minute since that incident happened but the later keeps on ignoring it even his messages. He is always at the hospital sitting beside Jeonghan as he doesn't want to leave his side. It was a hell week for him witnessing his lover on the bed not moving and his friend who keeps on ignoring him. He always refused to look at a mirror as he knows how awful he looks. He lost weight as he refused every food Jihoon or Jeonghan's parents offers. His eye bags get bigger since he always insists on staying all night to look after Jeonghan. If he could just wish he is the one who got hit not him, he will be assured but it is not the way it is.

 

He keeps on looking at his phone to see if he messages, but clearly, there is none. He sighs deeply as he is pretty worried again just like yesterday and every other day.

 

Just then, Jihoon enters together with Seungcheol bringing their foods. Jisoo did not move and just continue on checking his phone

 

"Jisoo, you could take some rest and eat here. I'll watch him" Seungcheol suggests but he just smiles at them saying he is alright

 

Seungcheol just sighs and looks at Jihoon who gets what the latter was trying to say in his gaze

 

"Yah Jisoo look at you. You can be the next patient if you will not eat anything. Don't make yourself suffer" Jihoon remarks but as same as before, Jisoo did not respond and just looks again his phone

 

Jihoon closes his eyes "I had enough" He said to Seungcheol. He walks closer to Jisoo and made him look at him

 

"Can't you hear us or you just ignoring us? Which of the two is it?" He irritatedly asked but Jisoo quickly looks away

 

"Hayy I don't know what to do to you. Do you think Jeonghan will like what he will see if we are like this and you are like that?! huh?!" Jihoon cannot take it anymore and lets it out

 

Jisoo did not say anything for a minute. Just when Jihoon gave up and was about to walk away, he said something that made the latter turn around to face him

 

"Will he still see us like that and me like this?" He asked innocently while tears are starting to build up but trying not to let it out

 

Jihoon felt a smack on his heart on what the latter was pointing out. He just walks towards him again and sits the same level as him. He slowly advances his hands to wipe the tears that are already escaped in Jisoo's eyes. All of the people in the room remained silent for a while as they all know what they are thinking.

 

Jihoon first lets out a comforting smile while holding Jisoo's hands "He will. I know that for sure" A tear suddenly falls but he quickly wipes it like nothing happened.

 

Seungcheol's eyes laid on Jeonghan and unconsciously lets a tear fall

 

"You'll get up there pretty boy. You will"

 

"Let's eat" Jihoon said while pushing Jisoo on the table. The latter had no choice but to barge in as he knows, if he was having hard time, those two too.

 

All of them eat in silent. Everything goes smoothly but Jihoon's attention got caught when he noticed Jisoo keeps on looking at his phone. Every food he takes, he always check his phone and typing something in it. When he and Seungcheol finished eating, he looks at Jisoo "Is there something wrong on your phone?"

 

Jisoo looks at him quickly and waves his hands "No, nothing."

 

"You keep on looking at it so I assume there is. What is it?" He asked

 

The latter just sighs and chooses to be open with them a little bit "Me and Hansol... had a little fight"

 

Jihoon just rolled his eyes secretly "I see."

 

After all of them finished wrapping up, Jisoo gets back to his seat and still keeps on looking at his phone. Jihoon cannot take it anymore and walks towards him

 

"Can you just go to his place and fix things between you and him? You look very disturbing like now" He said honestly

 

Jisoo thinks for a minute and thought it's a promising idea but his gaze gets back to Jeonghan. Jihoon noticed it "Don't worry. Let us take care of him this time. Alright?"

 

He hesitated for a while but he thought it's the best thing to do. He stands up and thanks the both of them. He quickly left the hospital and went to Hansol's house. He needs to face him. He doesn't want to lose another friendship. Not this way around.

 

He reached his house and was about to ring the bell but he was greeted by someone

 

"Oh Jisoo, what are you doing here?" Seungkwan asked

 

"Oh hey, is Hansol home?" He greeted

 

"Ah- He went to buy some groceries but he will get back here soon. Can you wait for him inside alone? I'm late for work today. Is it okay?" Seungkwan said while finding his car key on his bag

 

Jisoo nods while Seungkwan just smile as he left. He entered the house and settle first in the living room. He taps his foot on the ground several times as he thought about what to say to Hansol. He just feels bad to what he had said to the latter. How he wished he could just take it back but he will be guiltier if he does. He sighs deeply as he doesn't know what to do.

 

After an hour, he felt impatient as Hansol was not yet home. He wanted to go back to the hospital as soon as possible too. He quickly gets his phone and dialed a number. When he clicked it, he made a mistake as he dialed Jeonghan's number since it is his number 1 contact. When he was about to end it, he heard a phone's tone across the room. His eyebrow automatically raised. Maybe it was nothing. When he pressed the end button, his suspicion rises as the tone also ended. He quickly shakes his head thinking he just lacks sleep imagining things which are impossible to happen. He will feel guilty suspecting his friend for nothing but it never leaves his curiosity.

 

"What are you thinking Jisoo?" He said to himself. He locked his gaze from his phone and did not leave the screen containing Jeonghan's number. After a few minutes looking at it, his gaze becomes sharp knowing something was wrong with the number.

 

"This... This is not Jeonghan's number" He gasps. He tries to recall the latter's number as he knows he memorized it way back. He tries to remember it and dialed it. When it rings, he becomes nervous. How he wished the number he remembered is not Jeonghan's number and that all of it was just coincidental. When someone picks up the other line, his mouth opens widely

 

*Picks up*

 

Jihoon : Hello? Jisoo?

 

Jisoo : J-Jihoon?

 

Jihoon : yeah it's me. Why do you sound nervous? And why are you calling Jeonghan's number? Is there something you need?

 

Jisoo : I-is this Jeonghan's number?

 

Jihoon : well yeah, Jeonghan's phone vibrates signaling you called duh.

 

Jisoo closes his eyes

 

Jihoon : why? is there something wrong?

 

Jisoo : N-nothing. I- ah... I'll call you when I'll get back

 

Jihoon : sure bye

 

*end*

 

Jisoo sweats constantly. His lungs got dried after he confirmed it. He gets back to his phone to look again into the number that was under Jeonghan's name. Something triggered him to check Hansol's number. He shakes his head thinking it will be dumb but something keeps on pushing him to do it. His hands automatically search for Hansol's number and his eyes open widely seeing the same number as listed in his number 1 contact. A tear falls when he dialed it again and something rings across the room. He quickly follows the tone and was not completely shocked to find Hansol's phone behind the television.

 

He was full of confusion at the moment. He doesn't know what to say or even feel. His foot leads him to the stairway as he wanted to go to his room. Even if something tells him not to, he was determined to find something. When he finally opens the door, he was lost. His tears suddenly fall.

 

----------

 

After an hour and a half, Hansol got home bringing grocery with a grump face. He doesn't have any mood to go out of the house but Seungkwan ordered him some errands for him to carry on his weight out of his bed. He went to the kitchen to fix what he brought and after putting all of it in order, he finds his phone to quickly let Seungkwan informed that he uses his card insides of his in paying. When he went behind the television, he was confused not seeing it there. He looks around and was totally confused seeing it on the couch alone. He raises his eyebrow while he gets it as he remembers putting it behind the television. He quickly shakes it off and begins to dial Seungkwan's number.

 

*picks up*

 

Seungkwan : hey done with the groceries?

 

Hansol : yeah whatever. Anyway, I used your card in paying

 

Seungkwan : what?! you-

 

Hansol : what? you're the one who forced me to buy all this

 

Seungkwan : I do it for you not to be a drama queen all week long on your bed

 

Hansol : You don't know what I'm feeling right now-

 

Seungkwan : Didn't I warned you? like from the start that he will never love you back?

 

Hansol : Just... please... you're not helping

 

Seungkwan : I'm helping you trust me. You are just refusing my help-

 

Hansol : Shut up okay?!

 

Seungkwan : Fine fine. Anyway Jisoo is there

 

Hansol : W-what?

 

Seungkwan : Oh you don't see him there? I thought he will wait for you

 

Hansol : What are you saying?

 

Seungkwan : Before I left, he came finding you. So I said to wait for you inside the house since you ran some errands

 

Hansol : W-what-

 

Seungkwan : That made you fluttered? Here we go again

 

Hansol : S-shut up. He is not here

 

Seungkwan : He must have left- Anyway, I need to go. There's a client already. Bye

 

Hansol : okay

 

*end*

 

 

His heart suddenly beats continuously. Must he feel excited? thrilled? or flattered? He doesn't really know which is which but he sensed something is strange. He feels hurt again the feeling of hearing his name. He tries to avoid him a week now to try to minimize the pain he gone through about that day, about the day the truth finally slapped him hard. A tear suddenly escaped from his eyes. He was about to wipe it but interrupted when he heard a "dug" sound coming from his room. He felt alarm. He quickly went upstairs to see what is it and just when he opens the door, his eyes widens in horror.

 

"J-J-J-Jisoo?" He trembles as he calls his name

 

Jisoo just tightens up his grip as he can see his pictures in the corners of the room. He closes his eyes as mumbles some words "So that's why you don't want me in your room ever since we met"

 

Hansol felt like a cold water was splash into his whole body. He tries to reason out to him "I-It's not like w-what you think it is"

 

"Then what?" Jisoo shoots him a gaze that made him sweat more in nervousness

 

"I..." He thinks of a way to escape answering his question "I don't have to explain myself to you. You should get out of here"

 

Jisoo just smirk. The latter was about to push him out of the room when Jisoo rang his phone. Hansol was taken back a bit and gets his phone to see the latter was calling.

 

"Why are you calling me?" Hansol confusingly asked

 

Jisoo faced his phone to him and the screen shows Jeonghan's name under his number "Now, You should explain yourself to me"

 

Hansol's body got weaken. He felt like the ground is pushing him down. His sweat becomes severe that his face turns red due to embarrassment.

 

"What? Use your words Hansol. Explain to me why is your number under Jeonghan's name?" Jisoo's words became firm that made Hansol unable to utter a word

 

"Explain!" Hansol felt his anger but instead of saying a word, his tears suddenly fall continuously

 

Jisoo frustratingly holds his hair and prevents his tears to fall. He doesn't know what to say to him but he knows he is angry, frustrated and feel betrayed. Seeing him speechless is enough to prove his intentions right from the start. He had enough.

 

He looks at him before leaving the room "Don't act like you know me anymore"

 

Hansol doesn't know what to do but he follows him from the stairs all the way up to the door and holds his arms tightly "Please Jisoo, let me explain!"

 

"What should I hear from you huh?!" He said while forcefully putting hansol's hands away from his arms

 

"You don't understand-"

 

"What do I have to understand with you?! That you just pretend to be my friend all this time?! That you purposely pull me away with my friends?! That you broke me up with Jeonghan making me believe he doesn't care at me all?! Tell me which one is it Hansol!" Jisoo bursts out while his eyes show anger that Hansol never seen before

 

Hansol doesn't know what to say that made Jisoo's anger risen even more "So are you just gonna stand here without saying anything?! Say something Hansol! Why did you do th-"

 

"Because I love you!" Hansol bursts out. Jisoo stops breathing for a minute after hearing it

 

"I love you Jisoo that's why I did it! Ever since I first met you at college I'm attractive to you. I didn't make a move that time because there's something between you and Jeonghan. But when I saw you at the club saying what happened between you two, I said to myself that I will never let you go. Even if he came again to you, I will not lose you again-"

 

"Love me?" Jisoo sarcastically interrupted that made Hansol's tears suddenly fall

 

There's a moment of silent between them but Jisoo broke it letting Hansol break down in pieces "Do you even know how to love the way you said that? I don't think so Hansol. You just believe you love me all this time but you're not."

 

Jisoo was determined to turn around but the latter suddenly holds his arms while kneeling down "Please Jisoo don't leave me! I don't know what to do without yo-"

 

"Don't ever show your face to me" He firmly said without turning back "W-what-"

 

Jisoo glance a bit before forcefully letting his hands away from his arms "No- Don't even act like you known me anymore"

 

He quickly walks away without turning back as tears met a cold wind as he gets out of the house which he will never wanted to visit anymore.

 

----------

 

Tears flow faster and faster as he drives away. He doesn't know what to do or where to go. His grip on the wheels tightens time by time as the car's speed increases. Many cars beeping on the road as he intercepts on their way. Just then, he was about to hit a car when his sense finally came back. He quickly changes his direction and stops aggressively

 

"Watch where you are going! You could have hit me!" The man angrily said. He wanted to say sorry but his mouth kept shut.

 

He just nods and parks his car on the side to try to stay calm as quickly as possible before driving again. He didn't get out of the car and just stay blank while looking out of space. He remembers every single argument they made that hunts him knowing whose really behind that.

 

Flashback

 

(1)

 

I... I wanted to ask some favor with you"

 

Jeonghan raises his eyebrow and asked "What is it?"

 

"Be good to Hansol" He was confused with that words that made him stand up once again "I'm not doing anything"

 

"I know I know" Jisoo calms him first before the pretty boy assumed anything

 

"It's just that he felt bad that you don't like him that makes him blame himself. I don't like that" he added

 

Jeonghan just smirks and begins to spread the blanket all over his body

 

"You sound like his boyfriend there" He said while closing his eyes to not see a burning pain into his eyes. How we wish his ears could be close as well

 

"Jeonghan-"

 

"I'm not feeling something. I'm just pointing out" He quickly interrupts him before he makes a conclusion that is right for him

 

"It's not like that. He is also precious to me that's why I want you two to get along with each other" Jisoo explains once again but Jeonghan chooses to ignore it this time

 

(2)

 

"Who called me?" Jisoo asks while his eyes are still fixed on his laptop

 

"Nah, Just a prank call" Hansol said while sitting besides Jisoo

 

"Oh... I thought it's Jeonghan" He whispers sadly as he was kind of sad or disappointed since his pretty boy does not contact him lately

 

(3)

 

While driving, Jisoo was trying to reached out his phone from the backseat to contact Jeonghan. Hansol sees how struggle "Should I get it?"

 

"Oh thanks" The older happily accepts the offer

 

"Who will you contact? I'll dial it instead so you will focus on the road" Hansol insists

 

"Can you dial Jeonghan's number?" Jisoo asks

 

The latter nods and secretly glance at Jisoo to see if he is watching him. He smirks slowly knowing Jisoo is focus on the road. Instead of contacting Jeonghan, He switch off his phone and dialed his number instead. He makes sure that the speaker is on for Jisoo to hear

 

"The number you have dialed is unattended or out of coverage area... "

 

Jisoo curls his eyebrow when he heard it

 

"Maybe his phone is off or something. Should I dial it again?" Hansol innocently offered

 

"Nah. Maybe he is sleeping" Jisoo cannot help but feel sad as he was not yet hearing the latter's voice since yesterday

 

(4)

 

"Jeonghan..." He softly said, "What just happened in the restaurant?"

 

"Nothing much important" Jeonghan answered uninterestedly

 

Jisoo rolled his eyes as he receives a pathetic answer "You just talk to me like I'm not the Jisoo you know"

 

Jeonghan took a glance at him "Are you?"

 

"What?" He asks surprisingly. He felt an ache on his chest when he sees his angel's eyes surrounded by tears

 

"What are you saying?" He asks

 

"I'm surprised you didn't take Hansol home tonight. I don't know If I'm dreaming being seated again on your car" Jeonghan half-heartedly said

 

"What are you talking about Jeonghan?"

 

"Nothing"

 

Jisoo was about to say something when the traffic signal turns green. His mind is currently unstable as he doesn't know what is happening. The last time he knew he wants to confront Jeonghan because of not answering his calls and being spotted together with Seungcheol. He can't help himself to start again a conversation

 

"Jeonghan... why are you not answering my calls?" He starts up while controlling himself to raise a voice

 

Jeonghan looks at him and felt off guard "You seriously asking me that question?"

 

"Why? don't I have the right to call you whenever I miss you? well it turns out that you answer their calls compared to mine" He cannot contain anymore and lets out what he wanted to say

 

"At least they call me to check If I'm still breathing" Jeonghan answered back with the same amount of tone

 

"So are you saying I don't care about you and Seungcheol cares the most to you?" Jisoo stops the car on Jeonghan's street

 

"Why are you putting Seungcheol into this?! It's not like he did something you don't like!" He looks at him frustratingly

 

"Did he?!" He raises his voice that made him look at Jeonghan with a more intense gaze

 

Jeonghan can't help but let a tear escape into his eyes when he chooses to close it than witness a pathetic Jisoo in front of him "Don't make Seungcheol the bottom line here"

 

"Then who? Jeonghan you don't understand that I missed you the whole day. You don't understand that I look like a fool waiting for you to call or even message me today. You don't understand how It just breaks my heart seeing you and Seungcheol together where in fact I eagerly want to spent the night with you after I finish my work! Why can't you understand that Jeonghan?" Jisoo lets out his pain and it kills him more when Jeonghan just looks at him with an equal pain on his eyes

 

"I don't understand? Wow. What a word. Well, Sorry that every night I try to understand that you can't give your time to me anymore. Sorry that I look like a desperate man contacting you every minute and yet I did not get to hear your voice which I missed every single second of the day! I'M SORRY I CAN'T CONTAIN MYSELF SEEING YOU ENJOYING YOUR NIGHT WITH SOMEONE ELSE! I AM FREAKING SORRY" Jeonghan bursts and dashed out of the car while crying on the streets.

 

*end*

 

He wanted to stop his tears for falling because he knows its not worth it, his not that worth it. He wanted to let out his anger but his frustrated as he can't do it. He wipes his tears as he tries to relax but deep down he knows he can't. When he glanced on his phone, he quickly contact someone.

 

*picks up*

 

Jihoon : Hello?

 

Jisoo : Jihoon

 

He tries his best to cover up his voice so that the latter does not get the idea of what he was going through at the moment

 

Jihoon : Hey, what is it?

 

He remains silent as he doesn't know what to say. He wanted to call him but does not have an idea what to say to him. When he thinks for awhile, he finally knows the word he needs to say to him.

 

Jihoon : Jisoo? Are you still there?

 

Jisoo : y-yeah

 

Jihoon : Is there something wrong?

 

Jisoo : Jihoon

 

Jihoon : hmm? Why do you sound so tense?- Yah Jisoo, I kept on asking question and none of that was answered.

 

Jisoo : Sorry

 

Jihoon : Yeah yeah so what is it?

 

Jisoo : ... Jihoon I'm sorry

 

Jihoon : Chill, It's not a big thing. I'm just being sass-

 

Jisoo : I'm sorry

 

Jihoon : Why do you keep on apologizing-

 

Jisoo : For everything. I'm sorry for everything

 

Jihoon : w-wha-

 

Jisoo : I... I should have listen to you since the very first day. I thought you were just being rude but I realized now... you're just being my friend that time and until now you are. I'm sorry I did not listen. I'm sorry I did not trust anyone of you.

 

Jihoon : Jisoo... Is something happened?

 

He takes time for his tears to fall before taking a deep breathe

 

Jisoo : Yeah... I... I just woke up from a very bad... bad nightmare

 

Jihoon : Are you alright?

 

Jisoo : I have to...

 

Jihoon : Where are you?

 

Jisoo : I'll be there don't worry

 

Jihoon : Alright. Get back here safely

 

*end*

 

Jisoo just smiles and deeply sighs one more realizing what he has to do. He starts his car again and went to the Hospital

 

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He slowly enters the room as every step, his heart beats continuously. He was greeted with a sight of Jihoon and Seungcheol sleeping peacefully on the couch and Jeonghan still no sign of waking up. He slowly approached the couple and spread a blanket around them. He looks at them for a while before taking his step towards Jeonghan. When he settles next to his bed. He slowly holds his hands and he doesn't know why but his tears automatically fall staring at him like that. Remembering all he had done to him is enough for him to suffer even more and not him. He was focused to a wrong person and not considering what he feels in the past that made him a complete bastard. If there is someone's fault to be blame here, It's all onto him and no one else.

 

His hold slowly tightens as he regrets everything he had said in their arguments. He thought he was reasonable enough but it turns out that he knows nothing at all "You know, I discovered something interesting today. Something strange and relieving one. If you're awake and found out what I have found out, you probably don't want to talk to me anymore and abandoned me completely"

 

He laughs a little but becomes serious quickly as he starts sobbing "You probably will get angry at me after you heard it. Much angrier than myself. If only you knew how I wanted to say sorry to you desperately right now, how much I want to hear your response after I explained myself to you. I know... you wanted to leave me. Before, I don't know why but I see now the reason. I can't blame you for that. Even if I'm you, I would probably do the same but... I wish you won't give up on me. It's so silly of me saying that to you but-... Please... don't leave me. I know, you probably should but I can't-"

 

He sighs deeply as he closes his eyes. He got a hard time breathing because of his sobbing state but he needs to let it out. He doesn't know if this will do something but he needs to do this.

 

"I can't lose you anymore. Maybe I did it 2, 3 or more times already that you are tired with me about it but I won't let it happen again for the last time. What I had realized today is how fool I am for not trusting you. Sorry for doubting your love for me. I don't... I don't really deserve you. Sometimes I wished we never played. I wished we never lose but I lose to you Jeonghan. That's why you are put into situations like this. Keeping you safe is what I promised myself when I save you from those bullies but it's so ironic I'm the one who put you in here. I failed. I failed being your bestfriend. Worst, I failed being your boyfriend where we don't have the chance to call ourselves that way. I failed you. Every single time"

 

He felt his whole face was covered in tears. He tries to wipe it out but it was no use. He sobs even more harder and buried his face on Jeonghan's hands.

 

He wants to cry harder until he was exhausted but he was not. His tears seem to fall non stop and his heart is still in burden. He closes his eyes as he still buried his face on his hand "I'm sorry Jeonghan. For not being your best friend, for not keeping my promises, for making you tired every single time, for making you wait, for being a jerk. For Everything. I hope I still have time, we still have time to make things right. I'm still not ready. I'm not ready to lose you again. Please give me my last chance to make this right. Please Jeonghan. Wake up for me. Please"

 

He knows he was begging in the air. He was not sure if he can hear him but he trust his heart that he is. That is the only option he had left.

 

Just when he lift his head to wipe his tears from his hands, he was stop when something pricked him to look at Jeonghan. When he turns his head, A tear falls seeing his eyes slowly opens hardly

 

"J-J-Jeonghan-"

 

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Hey sorry it took some while. I was planning to divide this chapter into two parts but decided to make it as a whole instead that’s why its quite long. The next chapter will be the last. Thank you for coming this far ^_^ Happy reading <3