Why are you like this

Chapter 16

Bobby and Hanbin didn't get much time to be together  once they came back from their last concert. Since Bobby was busy for his subunit project with Mino, Hanbin took the time to work on their new album too. He works at their dorm but he can't seem to concentrate. He checks his phone but Bobby didn't yet reply to his last message, he send him earlier when he woke up. Hanbin looks at the time and it's already turning 11 pm. Since June is the only one that is in the dorm., Hanbin walks to his room and knocks on his door. “June?” June was just texting with Jinhwan and Donghyuk who are on the way to the club. “It's open.” Hanbin opens the door and leans on the door frame. “Hey, I think I go out for a walk. I need some time to think.” June sits up and brushes through his hair. “Aren't you going to the club?” Hanbin looks confused then remembers that today Bobby is out with Mino. June gets up and shows him the videos that are all over the internet. “They are pretty awesome. I wish I could go there but it would only make my throat hurt more.” Hanbin takes June's phone and looks at the videos. One after another when he sees the one where Mino and Bobby are laying on the back of the track and fool around. Hanbin frowns and shoves the phone back to Junes chest and turns to the door. “Sorry, Junhoe, I go out for a bit, maybe I go to my parents place, could you tell the others.” June looks at Hanbin and nods then checks his phone and unlocks his display when he sees the video of Bobby and Mino. June clicks his tongue and wants to rush after him but Hanbin left already. June sighs and mutters before he goes back to his bed. “Why do I have a bad feeling about this?” He flops on the bed and shuts his eyes trying to not let it concern him.

Hanbin left the dorm and went outside. The night is clear and the air is still hot from the day. He looks at his phone and still didn't get a text from Bobby. Irritated and upset he puts his phone away and gets a cab and rides back to his home. Since he just impulsively rushed out of the dorm, and didn't bring his keys to his home. He rings the doorbell and his father opens the door. “Hanbin-ah?” Hanbin nods his head and just when Hanbins dad said his name his mum got out of the living room. “Honey, who is it?” Hanbins dad opens the door and Hanbin gets inside and takes of his shoes. “Sorry, omma for coming so late. I hope the doorbell didn't wake Hanbyul.” Hanbins mother shakes her head and smiles. “She is sound asleep, don't worry but more important. Why are you here? And it is already so late. Are you alright?” Hanbin frowns and his chest feels tight. He sobs and holds back his tears. “I...I don't know...but it hurts...Omma it hurts.” Hanbins mum rushes to her son and hugs Hanbin, holding him tight. His dad sighs and pats Hanbins back and talks in a calm voice. “Come on in, my son. Let's talk in the kitchen once you calmed down.” Hanbin nods his head and his mum and dad guide him into the kitchen. Hanbin sits down and his mum prepares everyone a cup of hot tea to relax. Hanbins dad sighs and coughs. “Are you working too much again?” Hanbin stays quiet and shakes his head. Hanbins mother sighs and walks to the table to sit down next to him as she puts down the tablet with the tea. “Is it about Bobby? Is he the reason you are like this?” Hanbins dad looks up at his wife and then son. Hanbin flinches and after hesitating at first he nods his head. Hanbins mother sighs and leans on the table. “So it's like this...did you two fight?” Hanbins father still not really used to the fact, that his son is dating another boy in secret, even though it's Bobby who he is fond of him and admires him for working hard for his family, he is still worried about it, yet he doesn't object their relationship. Hanbin stays quiet for a while then sighs and shakes his head. “No ….No we didn't.” Hanbins mother sighs and takes the hand of her son. “You don't seem you want to talk with us about that...Don't you think you should talk to Jiwon-ah?” Hanbin nods and lowers his eyes. “...but...but what if we start to fight then?...I don't know why I am like this myself...It's just...I don't like this...” He frowns and ruffles his hair. “...it is so frustrating.” Hanbin dad chuckles faintly and pats Hanbins back. “My son, that's how relationships are like. I don't want to force you to talk and to be honest, I think it would be better. I don't know too many details but honestly. Why don't you try to go to bed here and then you just talk to Jiwonie about it? Just tell him what bothers you.” Hanbins mother nods her head and holds Hanbins hand tighter. “Drink your tea then take a shower and go to bed. Try to sleep and tomorrow we see what the day brings.” She smiles and Hanbin nods receiving so much love from his parents. He drinks his tea then goes upstairs to wish his little sister good night before he goes to his room and goes to bed after a hot shower.

Bobby in the meantime wonders why Hanbin didn't come with the others and checks his phone when he finally reads Hanbins message. He clicks his tongue when he reads his text.

'Jiwon-Hyungie, are you alright? I hope you are working hard, don't embarrass our team. ;P Honestly I try to work hard myself but I can't seem to concentrate at all...all I think of is you. I think you could say I turned too much into a fool...guess our fans calling me pabo finally turned out to be true. XD I am fool for you...XD …...no I really am >///< I miss you. I love you <3 call me when you get the chance, I think just then I can concentrate again.

Hanbin-ah.'

Mino was just chatting with Jinwhan and Yunhyeong but sees Bobby in the corner of his eye and walks to him. He puts his arm around Bobby's shoulder and leans on Bobby's head. “Yah! Don't wander off without me... this is our party.” Bobby frowns and and turns to Mino trying to tell him he needs to go outside to take a call but just then Choice37 calls him with the mic while starting to play his song. Mino grins and drags him back to the dance hall. “Come on it's your turn!” Bobby tries to avoid it but since he knows that he can't just run off, he grabs the mic and continues to perform and to entertain the club. No matter what he still feels uneasy to not contact Hanbin. When the time is alright he grabs Mino and drags him to the hallway. Mino follows him having a good mood and sighs. “What are you doing? Let's go back.” Bobby let go of Mino and shakes his head. “Hyung, I need to go now. Sorry.” He wants to leave when Mino pulls him back and hugs him from behind. “I don't want to. Why can't you stay longer.” Bobby frowns and tries to pull Minos hands away. “Mino-Hyung, stop it. I need to go.” Mino sighs and loosens his grip. “Party pooper, when we finally back together having fun.” Bobby sighs and pats Minos shoulder. “Sorry, Hyung but I need to see my boyfriend.” Mino takes a deeper sigh, since he knows about Bobby and Hanbin and nods his head. “Bragging about your boyfriend in front of your sunbae...you have guts.” Mino smiles and points Bobby to go before he heads back to the party. Bobby smiles and sneaks out of the club using the back door. He calls for a cab to ride home.

20 minutes pass and Bobby arrives at their dorm. He pays the taxi fee then rushes out of the car to their flat. He checks the time and by now it is already past midnight. He clicks his tongue when he enters their door code and without bothering to take his shoes off, he rushes to Hanbins and his room. But as soon as he opens the door he notices that their room is empty. Confused he walks back to the kitchen but Hanbin doesn't seem to be here. June woke up due to the noise Bobby was making when stomping through the flat. He opens his room and scratches his stomach. “Bobby-Hyung, why are you back?” He yawns and looks around. “Where are the others?” Bobby walks to him and grabs his shoulder. “Where is Hanbin?” He sounds worried and June sighs and suddenly feels wide awake. “He left when he saw the videos of you and Mino online. He said he will go outside or to his parents house....but Bobby-Hyung.” His voice sounds worried. “After seeing you with Mino-Hyung, he seemed really bothered.” Bobby sighs and clicks his tongue. “I bet he did, since I didn't contact him he surely started to worry about all kinds of things.” June lowers his eyes and starts to feel awkward since Bobby still holds on to his shoulders. Bobby just then notices that too and jerks back letting go of June and ruffles his hair, embarrassed. “Sorr.....sorry...I didn't mean to wake you up.” June shakes his head, feeling just as awkward and turns his head. “Since Hanbin-Hyung didn't come back, I guess he is staying at his parents.” He looks at Bobby and feels uncomfortable. “I...I think I go back to sleep. Jaljja, Hyung.” Bobby nods and sighs while June goes back to his room. Bobby drags himself to his room and flops on the bed, after throwing off his shirts. He pulls out his phone and writes Hanbin.

'Hanbin-ah, I am home now. I hope you can get some rest at your parents home, greet them for me. I know I am late with my reply, but can we talk tomorrow? I will go pick you up, if this is alright for you. Jaljja and I love you.”

Hanbin not able to get a wink of sleep notices his phone light up when he gets the message and gets up to read it. Just seeing Bobby's name on his screen makes his heart throb. He opens the text and reads the lines. ...'I love you.' Hanbin shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath. He hesitates to reply at first and lays back on the bed throwing his phone to the lower half of his bed, but eventually gets up and grabs it to reply.

'I am tired and I think I will stay a bit longer with my parents, I couldn't see Hanbyul yet properly. You don't have to pick me up....'

He holds on a second then deletes the last part.

'I am tired and I think I will stay a bit longer with my parents, I couldn't see Hanbyul yet properly. Jaljja.'

He sends the new version then drops his arms back on the sheets. Within a few seconds he Bobby replies to him.

'Araso, then let's talk later when we are at the dorm.'

Hanbin sighs and rolls to the other side. He feels pouty and still upset but his heart won't stop beating, giving him the urge to get up to go see him but he fights that with all his pride. Bobby sighs and stares at the ceiling when he hears the others come back from the club. Bobby sighs and turns to the side and shuts his eyes. Since he was quite exhausted it doesn't take long until he falls asleep.

Hanbin now feeling even more restless, doesn't sleep for the whole night. When the sun is starting to rise he just gets up and walks downstairs to prepare breakfast for his family. Hanbins mother is the first to get up and when she sees Hanbin in the kitchen she smiles faintly and walks to him. “You are already awake?” Hanbin turns to her and shakes his head. “I couldn't sleep.” He leans down and kisses his mother on the hair. “Good morning.” He takes the teacups and places them on the table. His mother just watches his son and her heart hurts. “Baby.” Hanbin turns to her and when he sees her expression he turns away and hides his face with his hand. “Omma, please don't show me that expression, I start crying if you do.” His mum walks to him and pulls away his hand and Hanbins eyes are red from holding back the tears and he forces himself to smile to avoid crying. Hanbins mother smiles at him warmly and puts her hands on his face. “My son, my baby...things will be fine...I know that, I am your omma, I always wish for the best for you, so I know that things will be alright.” She caresses Hanbins face and Hanbin laughs and hugs her, hiding his face on her shoulder. “I love you, omma.” Hanbins mum smiles. “I love you too, my baby.” Just then Hanbins dad comes into the kitchen carrying Hanbyul on his arm. Hanbin looks up and when Hanbyul meets eyes with him, she grins and reaches out her arms to hug him. Hanbin breathes out and pulls her into his arms holding her tight so she won't slide down. “Oppa, I dreamed of you, last night.” Hanbin laughs and breathes in her scent to restore his energy. “Really? Then was it a good dream?” Hanbyul nods her head and smiles. “Yes, because now you are really here.” She cuddles Hanbin and Hanbins dad smiles at his children but as soon as he sees the dark circles under Hanbins eyes he looks concerned but his wife pats his back and shows him Hanbin will be fine.

Later that day Hanbin stays a bit longer with his parents and some fans notice him and ask Hanbin for picture and his signature. Hanbin since he doesn't want to refuse agrees but his father later asks the fans polity to not publish the pictures, because Hanbin couldn't sleep last night and he is worried about him. The fans agree instantly and even ask if it would be okay to publish his signature. Hanbin notices his dad talking to his fans but doesn't ask what he told them. Once his parents tell him he should go back to the dorms, to not worry his manager, Hanbin sighs and hugs them before he leaves.

Bobby stayed at home form work today to wait for Hanbin. Donghyuk and Chanwoo went out early for their practise and Yunhyeong, June and Jinhwan are with Yunhyuk out to go shopping for their dorm. Hanbin feeling now really tired after not sleeping for more than a whole day barely manages to enter the door code. Bobby hears someone open the door and jumps up to rush to the entry hall.

Hanbin looks up and sees Bobby. His eye lids are tired and the tiredness is increasing bit by bit. Bobby sighs when he sees Hanbin and walks to him to support his body when Hanbin wobbles further into the room. Hanbin breathes out and bumps against Bobby's chest. Bobby catches Hanbin and holds his upper body while he bends his knees to lift Hanbin up and carries him to their room. Hanbin whines and shakes his head. “I planed to not talk to you when I see.” Bobby brushes away Hanbins hair and Hanbin blinks his eyes and tries to focus. When he sees Bobby's face close to his, he turns his head away and sounds sulky. “....the new hair colour doesn't suite you.” He is lying but doesn't want to compliment Bobby now. Bobby chuckles briefly and sighs. “Does it? I can dye it back to dark, you know?” Hanbin turns to Bobby and sighs. “I hate it...you are the idiot.” Bobby sighs and caresses Hanbins hair. “I am sorry Hanbin-ah...I am sorry I didn't answer to your message sooner.” Hanbin shakes his head and whines. “Why are you like this? Why do you always do things that hurt me?” Bobby looks guilty and whispers. “You mean, me fooling around with Mino-Hyung?” Hanbin opens his eyes and his lips tremble. “I hate it...I hate to be like this. I hate to get jealous and insecure, no matter how much you tell me you love me but...but it just won't go away.” He clutches his hands on his face and starts to cry. “I feel like we are having the same conversation every 3 weeks. I hate this too. I hate it...but no matter what I can't hate you. I love you so much that it hurts to see with someone else than me. I know I am an idiot for saying that over and over again and I know I am the one who pushes you away too when I need to work but...I need you after all...I just...I feel like a demon...I want you all to myself yet I want you to give me my space...” He cries and sobs while Bobby is listening, letting Hanbin continue. “...but what irritates me the most, why do you let others than me, touch you and get so close to you like you did with Mino-Hyung? I don't like this! I am your boyfriend I should be the only one who gets to touch y-” Bobby can't hold back any more and grabs Hanbins face to kiss him. “Hanbin-ah, I know you are tired but I want to do it.” Hanbin looks at Bobby when he crawls on the bed and slides his knees between his legs to spread them carefully. His heart flutters and he feels suddenly wide awake. “Jiwon-hyung..?” Bobby sighs and leans on Hanbins chest while he caresses Hanbins face, that feels more fragile than he ever. He breathes against Hanbins chest and whispers. “I know, I am close to Mino-hyung and we don't care about skinship but I want to do those things only with you.” He slides his hands gently to Hanbins hips and underneath his shirt to caress his s and chest. “I don't care, if we have the same discussions over and over again. I will never stop assuring you that I love you. I will continue to tell you, no matter how often you need it. I am sorry I didn't answer my phone and made you worry. I am sorry I cause you to hate yourself because you love me, I am sorry you can't concentrate on work because of me, but I don't feel sorry for one thing.” He lifts his head and looks at Hanbins eyes. Hanbin blinks his eyelids and stares at Bobby. Their lips are only millimetres away from each other and Hanbin can almost taste Bobby's sweet breath in his mouth. Bobby smiles and shuts his eyes. “I will not feel sorry for you thinking of me.” He leans down and kisses Hanbin. He opens Hanbins lips with his own and let his hot breath drift slowly into Hanbins mouth. Hanbin gasps and breathes in Bobby's pneuma. Bobby whispers and caresses Hanbins lips with his tongue. “Think even more of me...I am yours, Hanbin-ah.” Hanbin opens his eyes and holds on to the bed sheets, his body quivers and his voice is trembles. “I....I feel like I will break when I love you more as I already do...I turn into a whole different person when it comes to you.” Bobby smiles and looks at Hanbins eyes. “You won't...because I will be there to make sure that you don't need to worry. I love you...I waited so long for you to fall in love with me and when I finally made you mine. I promised myself that I will do anything to make you happy. I am sorry for still only giving you worries and insecurities but no matter what my love towards you doesn't change.” Hanbin sobs and let go of the bed sheets to hug Bobby and pulls him towards his body. “I ...I love you...I love you so much that when you continue to see more of my bad sides you will...you will start to hate me and that's what I hate the most...I am don't know...I don't know anything...I am sorry for not knowing what I want...” He cries and Bobby smiles gently and leans down and hugs Hanbin back. “It's okay...it's another side of you, I fall in love with. It's cute.” Hanbin laughs bitter and frowns. “How is this cute?” Bobby laughs and kisses Hanbin then let go and faces Hanbin. His voice sounds hurt and apologetic. “You know, whenever I do something to make you feel bad, it always ends up with you apologising to me...now tell me how can I not love you for that. I am sorry Hanbin-ah, I love you so much that I think its natural for you to just love me back but I always forget that my actions may hurt you. I am sorry I am still not learning my lessons.” Hanbin sobs and clings on to Bobby and cries. “Whatever....I don't even know any more why what we are talking about...I don't care...I just wanted to have in my arms so bad...I missed this so much.” Bobby smirks warmly and holds Hanbin tight. “I missed you too.” He let go to kiss Hanbin on his lips and moves his hands down to Hanbins thighs to pull them up and wrap them around his hips while he presses his body against Hanbins. Hanbin sighs relieved and holding Bobby finally in his arms calms him so much that all the tiredness form last night makes him fall asleep. Bobby just wanted to undress Hanbin when he hears him snore faintly against his ear. He smirks and carefully rolls to the side not pulling away his arm from underneath Hanbins neck and lays down next to him. Hanbin snuggles himself on Bobby and holds on to him. Bobby kisses Hanbins forehead and whispers. “I love you...I love you...so when you wake up...you better promise to reward me for falling asleep when we were just about to do it, because I am really .” Hanbin frowns as if he understands him and Bobby chuckles cheeky as he softly caresses Hanbins back.

to be continued...