Pride

Chapter 11

After weeks of being busy overseas, iKON is finally able to stay in Korea to prepare for their next album without other schedules that force them to fly around that much, except their concert dates. Yunhyuk glad that the boys get to spend some time with their families again, to let them have enough free time since Hyunsuk even requested it. They worked really hard the past months. Hanbin and Bobby are temporary alone since the others are visiting their families. Hanbin was over at his parents place for the weekend and is just on his way back to their dome while Bobby and Mino take their free time to work on their collaboration. Staying with his family and Hanbyul, Hanbin finally got the chance to think about something different than work but somehow he still felt restless and stressed. When the heads to their dorm he texts Bobby that he will come by later to pick him up. Bobby still busy with their new song, tells Hanbin he doesn't have to hurry but he looks forward to seeing him. Hanbin got hom and put down his luggage in their dorm and changes his clothes into something more relaxing, then heads to YG to meet with Bobby.

Bobby texts Hanbin if he could buy them drinks from the convenience store and since Hanbin is longs for some snacks himself, he walks to the store and buys Bobby's favourite drink and a few things to eat. Hanbin takes the things and heads to YG. Not sure in which room Bobby and Mino are recording, he takes out his phone and wants to text Bobby when Mino leaves out of the first recording studio. Hanbin looks up and greets him. “Ah, Hyung, I just wanted to ask where you are.” He sees Mino carrying his backpack and frowns. “Did you finish?” Mino looks down on his bag and smiles. “What...Oh....yes...we called it a day since the last rehearsals already sounded pretty good.” He points to the door. “Bobby-ah is still inside, he said he is waiting for you and touches our song up a bit.” Hanbin smiles and nods. “Araso, thank you.” Mino smiles and pats Hanbins shoulder and wants to walk past him when Hanbin turns around to face him and stops him. “Hyung...hold on!” He lifts his grocery bags and rustles in through the bag then takes out two snacks and hands it over to Mino. “For you. I didn't know you were about to leave. I bought way too much.” Mino takes it and smiles. “Thanks, man.” Hanbin nods then turns to the door. Mino puts on his backpack then walks down the hallway to head home. Hanbin watches him leave then knocks at the door before he gets in. Bobby is wearing his earphones so he couldn't hear Hanbin come in. Hanbin smiles when he sees Bobby and tip toes behind him and leans over him. Bobby jerks and puts down his earphones and smiles. “Hey.” Hanbin grins and lifts the bag. “I bought the snacks.” Bobby gets up and takes the bags to look inside. He sees his favourite things and smiles at Hanbin. Hanbin faces Bobby and Bobby leans towards Hanbin to briefly kiss his cheek. “Thank you.” Hanbin sighs and flops on the chair to check how their work is progressing. Bobby takes out their drinks and hands it to Hanbin. Hanbin just put on the earphones and takes a listen to what they have done until now. Bobby leans on the table and looks at Hanbin until he finished listening. Hanbin takes off the earphones and turns to Bobby. A strange restless feeling inside him after listening to the raw song grows inside Hanbin. He somehow gets the feeling to work again too even though he always takes time to work on new songs. Bobby frowns and asks carefully when he sees Hanbins brooding expression. “Leadernim? What...what do you think?” Hanbin looks up and sounds serious but still in thoughts. “It already sounds really good. Your voices match well with each other but the chorus still sounds a bit off, you are not quite in sync.” Bobby sighs and leans on Hanbins shoulder. “I know...that's the only thing we struggled with up until now.” Hanbin pats Bobby's thigh and smiles when he breaths in Bobby's scent. Bobby sighs and Hanbin turns his head to face him. His voice sounds gentle and comforting. “Yah, but it sounds really awesome. You sound cool as usual.” Bobby looks at Hanbin and smiles then leans in to kiss him on the lips. Hanbin shuts his eyes and holds his breath when their lips meet. Bobby pokes Hanbins lips with his tongue to show him to open his mouth, since he wants to slip his tongue in. Hanbin moans faintly and lifts his hands to put them on Bobby's waist and cheek as he opens his lips to let Bobby lead the kiss. After being apart for a few days, they slowly started to long for each others touch and this kiss feels like a reward for being back together. Bobby himself, who held back for the past days, can't stop kissing Hanbin. He pulls Hanbin on his hips up closer and presses him against the wall behind them to kiss him deeper. Hanbin flustered from their kiss wraps his arms around Bobby. His heart starts racing as his pulse starts pounding harder, yet something feels strange. Bobby reaches for Hanbins hands and intertwines their fingers to pin them on the wall next to Hanbin. Hanbin sighs when Bobby presses his body closer against Hanbins, as he plays and slips his tongue in and out. Hanbin frowns confused and irritated. He feels good to have Bobby close to him but when Bobby let go of one of his hands to slip it underneath his shirt, Hanbin shoves Bobby gently away. He faces the floor and pants. What's wrong, something seems different than usual. Bobby looks confused to be rejected out of the blue and whipsers. "Hanbin-ah? What is wrong? Am I too forceful? Sorry, I know it's not the right place but I couldn't hold bac-" Hanbin looks up then grabs Bobby and kisses him again passionately, pressing his body against Bobby's and interrupts Bobby's apology. Bobby gasps from the sudden kiss but just when he wants to hold Hanbin closer, Hanbin pushes him away and looks nervous. Bobby stumbles back and stares at Hanbin as his hits the table. "Hanbin?" Hanbin lifts his head and frowns. "Sorry...I...I better go now...sorry..." He looks at Bobby, and even without facing him he could tell how Bobby looks like. Hanbin rushes to the door and leaves without saying anything more. Bobby follows Hanbin with his eyes and wants to stop him from leaving, but before his body could move, Hanbin already left. Bobby stares at the empty hallway and touches his lips trying to figure out if he did something to offend Hanbin. "What's wrong with him?"

In the meantime, Hanbin heads outside and calls for a cab to take him home. Once he arrives at their dorm he checks if anyone could be home, but they are still with their parents and their manager won't come back before tomorrow. Hanbin pants and has has to confirm it. He rushes into the bathroom and s his pants. He shuts his eyes and leans against the wall as he moves his hand down to touch himself. He a few times, teasing the spots Bobby touches when they have . He sighs troubled as he takes off his pants and frowns when he leans his chest over the sink. He moves his fingers to his mouth to make them wet then reaches back to touch his behind. Carefully trying to tease his entrance, sliding his wet fingers in, he frowns and gasps from the unpleasant sensation. His hole is tight and he almost can't enter. He tries to think about Bobby and his kisses, his touches all over his body but his body still doesn't show any reaction. After trying a bit longer he just forcefully presses his finger in while he his . He cries and pulls his finger out immediately when he feels pain as if he is tearing open. It won't feel good at all but more than that, he wont get hard. He bites his lips then squeezes and rubs his harder but he won't respond. Hanbin looks up in the mirror, his cheeks are feverish and his breath is fast. "This can't be true..." He lowers his head and looks at his , hanging soft between his legs, showing no sign of getting hard. He slides down on the floor and pulls down his shirt covering his lower body. He feels embarrassed and ashamed. It shouldn't be like this, he used to get hard almost immediately just from kissing Bobby or thinking about him. Hanbin starts crying and continues to force himself to get hard, and touching his to the point it starts to hurt. He cries and let go of himself. His heart pounds fast his mouth tastes salty from his tears, running down his cheeks. He leans his head against the wall and tries to calm down.
After calming down a little, he gets up holding on to the wall as his legs feel weak and numb. He takes off his shirt and drops it on the floor then takes a shower. His throbs from too much touching. The water hurts when it hits his and he almost showers cold. When he starts to feel really cold he turns off the shower then grabs a towel to dry himself and carefully touches his tetchy . He warps the towel around his hips and walks to his room. Each step makes his ache and he is glad once he reached the bed. He drops on the mattress and covers himself with the blanket not bothering to put on any clothes. His body hurts as well as his pride and he feels like . He hides his face in the pillows but when he notices Bobby's scent on the pillows he starts to cry holding his aching crotch as he falls asleep.

Bobby finished his work and heads home hoping to talk with Hanbin about the incident just now but when he arrives home, Hanbin is already in his bed. He heads to the bathroom and sees his clothes all over the floor. Slightly confused he picks them up and carries them into their room. Hanbin fast asleep breathes slowly. Bobby walks to Hanbin and kneels down to kiss his sleeping face. He fixes the sheets to cover Hanbins shoulder, to avoid him catching a cold. When he noticed Hanbins wet hair, he sighs and whispers. "You shouldn't be so careless and dry your hair properly." He gets up and leaves to get a towel, then puts it on Hanbins head. As Bobby brushes his hair away, he notices Hanbins red cheeks and eye lids from crying. Bobby clicks his lips and sighs, caressing Hanbins cheeks. "Hanbin-ah please tell me when you have something you feel bothered by it." Hanbin already awake when he heard Bobby get into the room, holds back to move or reply and tries to continue to act as if he is sleeping. Bobby sighs again then kisses Hanbins cheeks and gets up to let him sleep.
The next morning, Bobby acts normal waiting for Hanbin to tell him himself, since he doesn't want to push it, but Hanbin just keeps quiet and acts as nothing.

Two more day pass and everyone is back at work again. The members discussed with their stylist new hairstyles and Donghyuk is the first to change his hair as he promised to their fans. Hanbin too concentrated on work just agrees to whatever style they choose for him. Bobby, as well as the others by now, notice Hanbin acting stranger and moodier each day, but whenever they ask him or try to talk to him, he blocks it and just changes the topic to work. When they come home they eat together and once everybody went to bed, Bobby takes the chance to try talking to Hanbin again since he slowly gets annoyed by Hanbin avoiding him. Hanbin just wanted to do the dishes when Bobby walks to him and sighs. “Hanbin-ah? You are avoiding me? Did I do something that made you upset?” Hanbin looks up and stares at Bobby then turns to the other side and shakes his head. “No...nothing like this...I already told you. I am fine.” Bobby clicks his tongue but before he could continue questioning Hanbin, Hanbin turned of the water and smiles faintly. “I am tired. I will go to bed. Sorry.” Bobby's heart hurts when he sees right before his eyes that something is wrong with Hanbin and he gets upset that he doesn't know what it could be this time. He frowns and swears silently. Hanbin gets to their room and gets into the bathroom, still trying to solve the problem by himself, without any success. After failing again, Hanbin just starts to accept it. He leans his head on the wall and pants. His bright red while he fixes his clothes and thinks of a way to tell Bobby. In the meantime, Bobby is now seriously worried and pissed. Even though he tried to respect Hanbins feelings but when he won't talk to him at all how can he can't leave as it is. He sighs then heads to their room, to confront Hanbin. Hanbin just got up to fix his clothes when Bobby opens the door. Hanbin looks up flustered and his pants still unbuckled and his skin is sweaty. Bobby frowns and faces at Hanbin. “What are you doing?” Hanbin frowns and looks away, feeling too ashamed to bring out his words. Bobby looks into the room and notices the lube they use for on the floor and Hanbins hands sticky with the thick stuff and his open pants. He clicks his tongue and glares at Hanbin, interpreting the things in his head by himself. “You are avoiding me but go secretly in the bathroom?” He sounds upset and annoyed. Hanbin looks shocked at Bobby and tries to explain it but Bobby frowns and walks towards to Hanbin then picks up the lube and hands it to Hanbin. “You know, I was worrying like crazy the past days why you won't come to talk to me or if I upset you.” He laughs bitter and looks at Hanbin. “...I thought about a lot but I could never guess that you could have become tired of me.” Hanbins jaw drops open and he stares at Bobby. “No! That's not it...I...” Bobby clenches his teeth and sighs. “Don't bother with it, if you prefer to do it by yourself then go ahead. Sorry to bother you. Tell me when you need a hand to hel-” Hanbin bites his lips and yells. “Shut up! That's not it...I just...” He stares at Bobby and shakes his head. “No never mind! You wouldn't understand anyway!” Hanbin takes the lube and throws it into the sink then leaves the bathroom. “I am sleeping at my parents tonight. You better cool your head.” Bobby follows Hanbin back in their bedroom and hisses back. “Cool my head? For cooling my head, I need you, but I think this isn't the case for you. You seem to be fine lately without me.” Hanbin looks up and stares at him. “Stop it! You have no idea! Don't just jump to conclusions!” Bobby frowns getting more upset. “Conclusions? My boyfriend won't talk to me for days, avoids whenever I ask him if he is fine, tells me each time I want to kiss him he is tired and then I find him in the bathroom alone? What do you expect me to think then? Should I tell you I am actually glad I didn't catch you cheating on me? Oh sure! I am grateful that you didn't bring your lover into our bathroom to cheat on me! I am really happy!” Hanbin stares at Bobby and his heart seems to stop beating for a moment and his mind went blank. He lowers his head and clenches his fist. Bobby pants from yelling and stares at Hanbin. Hanbin can't take this, he didn't want it to come to this, but maybe this is a good time to end this. “Then let's break up. You are right I am tired to try. Let's end this before you are the one to get tired with me.”

to be continued...