I’m home after done with my part time job. It’s so tiring day today. I’m just lay down on the couch to catch my breath. My mother already goes to bed. I told her for not wait for me tonight. I would be late. I close my eyes and put my hand on my forehead.

Suddenly I feel something warm on my legs. I open my eyes and saw Jiwon put the warm towel on it.

“Just stay lay down. You already stand for more than 5 hours.” He said and put my head on his laps. He makes me blushing again. Is he always hot and cold like this? He makes me confused.

“There is nothing for you to talk about?” He asked when I stay quiet.

“I like some peace and quiet.” I said and I can hear him smirking. I look up at him and saw he lean on the couch and rest his hand on top of sofa while the other my hair slowly. I can smell his soap on him. His hair also still a bit wet. He has a sweet and calm smells like lavender mix with fruity.

“Have you thinks about what I told you last night?”

“Not yet…..” I said and try to seat but he push me down again. His hand on my stomach and he let it rest there.

“Just stay like this with me 5 minute more.” He said.

“If it too hard for you, then just stay here until mid term. It’s just 2 months from now.” Can I stay here for 2 month more while my father already knows where we were live and where I work? Can I avoid him for 2 more months? I want to follow my heart desire but my head know it not a good idea. Bad thing can happen if I don’t take any precaution. Once again I look at him try to find my answer in his eyes. When his eyes met mine, I look away.

“It’s late now.” I said and take the warm towel from my feet. I saw him nod and gave me his sweet smile like always but his eyes look sad.

Once again this morning I’m going to school alone. The weather seems so nice today and it’s less cold. I put on my earpiece and listen to the songs while enjoy my time alone. What Jiwon told me last night never left my mind so easily. If this is how he react when my answer is not his favor, will he stay if my situation became more difficult? He haven’t seen the worst thing yet.

I feel so cold today even thought the weather seem so warm today. Some of my classmate take off their jacket and put it on the chair. The whole day I don’t even say anything to Jiwon and he also seem back to his old self became invincible. I also can’t concentrate on the study, my eyes felt so sleepy. Lunch time I take my time to nap. The second I put my head on my arms I’m immediately on the dreamland.

I’m awake when I heard a faint knock on the table. My nap felt so short than usual. I force myself to open my eyes and look up. To my surprise it is my homeroom teacher, Mr. Taek.

“This is school not your home. Go to the bathroom, wash your face and come back in again. I give you 5 min only.” He said. I stand up but my head feel so heavy and dizzy. The next what I see was Jiwon face right before I close my eyes.

****

                I hear my phone ringing and open my eyes. To my surprise, I’m at somewhere I don’t familiar. I look around but I’m alone in this room. I’m confused. Where am I? The smells so familiar for me. Hospital? I pick my phone and look at the time, it pass 4PM already. Did I unconscious for more than 4 hours? Eomma!!!

I slowly pull the needle from my hand and it hurt. I clench my teeth and put a pressure on it so it will stop bleeding. I put my shoes on and carry my bag on the table. When I open the door, I bump into a nurse. She seems so surprise.

“You awake already?”

“Yes. Thank you.” I said

“You need to stay on bed or you will pass out again. You still weak.”

“I can rest at home.”

“Goo Ah Young?!” I hear my mother voice on my back. I’m so surprise and look at her. Next to her is Kim Jiwon. My mother looks so scared and shivering.

“Eomma… What are you doing here?” I asked and put on my smiley face. I don’t want to show any hint that I was unwell.

“How are you? Are you ok?” She asked and checks on me. Look for any injury.

“I’m fine. I’m going home now.” I said and look at Jiwon. Pleading in my heart so he will follow what I said.

“She needs more rest. She’s still weak and unwell.” Nurse behind me said. My mother becomes more worry.

“I’m going home.” I said and hold my mother hand. I can feel her hand shivering. It really hurt me so much. She looks more weak than me. It’s breaking my heart to see her like this. She was one of the most strong women I ever known. Nothing can scare her so easily even though my father holds a knife threaten her for money. I miss my superwoman mother. I want to be protected instead. I want to be a kid with nothing to worry about. I hold my tears hard so I won’t spill it in front of her.  Need to be strong for her.

“Eomma, do you trust me?” I asked and she nod.

“I’m fine and I’m going home with you.”

“Jinja?”

“Yup. Can you wait for me here with Jiwon?”

“Ok.” She said. I turn my back and walk to the counter.

“Goo A Young…. You will come back, right?” She asked after I step a few feet from her.

“Always will.” I said and smiles. Jiwon watch everything in silent. I don’t know what he thinks of and I don't want to know anymore. My heart breaks in pieces. I want to be a cranky and nagging about my unwell body to my mother. Be a spoil kid in her arm but with my weak body I console her instead so she will stop worry. I lean on the wall and cried my heart out, away from my mother and Jiwon.

“I’m done!! Let’s go.” I said to my mother after settle with my discharge. Jiwon and my mother look surprise but when she saw my smiling face, she also live up too.

“Eomma, I’m hungry.”

“What do you want to eat?”

“Jajangmyun.”

“Ok.” She agreed. We all go Jiwon home and order delivery. I take a warm shower to freshen my body but I still feel sick and weak.

“Young-ah, let’s eat.” My mother called from the outside.

“I’m coming.” I said. I really don’t have any appetite but because of my mother I force myself to eat until finish. Jiwon look at me with concern eyes but I gave him a small smile.

“Eomma, I’m going inside first. I have tons of homework.” I lied. I felt like to throw up.

“Ok.” She said without any doubt.

 I’m hurry to the bathroom and throw up. I feel like I’m dying. Feel so uncomfortable and dizzy. I just seat for a while facing the toilet bowl. Once again my tears fall today. I think I’m slowly breaks down now. All of this time, I’m pretend to be strong but today I lost it. I lay on my bed when the nausea feels gone. I wrap myself in blanket and I’m freezing. I don’t know when I’m fall asleep but I’m awake when I feel something cold on my forehead.

“What……” He put his finger on my lips.

“Just stay. You need rest.” He said. I look behind him and the door slightly open. I’m afraid if my mother might come and see us.

“Don’t worry, she’s sleeping already.” He said again like he knows what in my mind.

“You don’t need to know how I know what in your mind. I can read your face like an open book.” He added more. Did it so obvious? This is the first time other person said my face is so easy to read. Normally people said I’m very difficult to understand.

“Are you hungry?” He asked when I stay quiet. I look at him but my eyes felt so heavy.

“No, I just sleepy.”

“Ok, sleep then.” He said but still seat there by my side. I can’t sleep in comfortable because I’m so aware of him.

“You not go…..”

“I will go when you fall asleep.” He fix my blanket. I close my eyes and shortly after that I fall into deep sleep. I never thought I can sleep comfortable with him by my side. I must be very SICK.

I’m awake early that morning before my alarm ring. I feel something heavy on my hand and I look at my side and saw Jiwon sleep there until morning. I saw his evidence at the bed side table. He nurses me the whole night. Who is this boy? Why he felt so special to me? No matter how hard for me to leave his side, my heart keep take one more step closer to know him more. He really became my shade tree, my light in the darkness hours. Kim Jiwon is full with charm. Once you fall for him there is no exit door.

I brush aside his hair from his face. He awake from my slightly touch. The moment he saw me, he smile. The cutest smile I ever see.

“You awake….How are you feel?” He asked with his husky and hoarse voice. The ier voice I ever heard. Goo Ah Young get yourself together. What are you thinking? You must be still sick.

“I’m fine now. You better wake up before my mother…..” I saw him stand up very quickly when he heard I say my mother. I can’t help it to laugh but I close my mouth with my hand.

“I will see you later.” He said right before close the door. I still not so well yet but I have to go to school. If I’m not go my mother will know I’m sick.

Jiwon wait for me at the door. He wants to go to school together today. The whole walk to the school he talks nonstop.

“Jiwon-ah, can you quiet for 5 min?” I said make he look at me in confuse. Is this how he look at me? His expression so clear for me to understand what he was thinks of.

“I’m not that sick but you talks so much.” I said. He smile at me like it was funny to him.

“It’s because you always alone so you not use to noisy.”

“Yes but I never hear someone like you. Talk nonstop.”

“You will get use to it sooner or later.” He said again with his sweetest smile. Behind him so bright like a CG screen. Did someone on the light in the full brightness? He looks like a angel today. It must be something wrong with my mind. I have Jiwon fever.

In class Jiwon act like always. He seat at his own table but always checking on me. I try to focus but my mind seems like it fall asleep. Lunch time is here and I take my nap. At first I feel cold but after a moment I feel warm and comfortable. Like always I’m wake up right before the lunch time end. I stand up and suddenly something fall on the floor. I saw a school jacket and I pick it up. It belongs to Jiwon so I put it on his chair on the way to the bathroom.

 “Do you have to go to your work? You still not so well.” He said when both of us walk out from the school compound.

“Yes, so I don’t have to listen yours never ending story.” I jokes make him pout. Oh god, where is this boy coming from? I’m a bit surprise with the way he behaves now. He became more relax, calm and comfortable around me. Is he getting to know me well or I do?

“Do you so uncomfortable with me?” He asked a bit sulking.

“Do you so comfortable around me?”

“No, I’m nervous. My heart keep beating hard nonstop from the moment I saw you. I think I have Goo Ah Young sickness.” Is he borrows my line? Can’t believe he feel it that way.

“Wae?? I look weird now?” He asked again.

“No but you gave me goose bump. I have nausea too.” I said try to jokes. It sound so cheesy and I don’t know how to handle it except jokes. I admit he make my heart flutter too.

“Right? I also feel like that….” He said and laughs.

“I will see you later.” I said and run to the bus stop. My bus is here.

 After take a seat at the bus, I look at the side and saw him wave at me with smiling face. Why did seeing his happy face like that make me feel sad? Did he know I can’t have his love? I don’t know what will happen tomorrow and if something happen I will gone immediately with my mother. Away from him and I don’t want him hurt. I know what my father capable of. He will do whatever as long as he got what he wants.

I put on my apron and do my job like always. Enjoy my job and coffee smell. I like it so much and it can make my mind wake up. At the end of my shift, I check my phone and saw nothing. Is my phone dead? I put it on the charger for a while and check it. I got so many miss called from my mother like always and just 1 message from Jiwon. I open it.

“I’m coming for you…. Wait for me.” He text. I call my mother.

“Goo Ah Young……” Hear that person voice send chill all over my body. How did he pick up my mother phone?

“Eomma….. Where is she?”

“Come run to me now and bring money with you.”

“Ok, don’t…..” He’s off the line before I finish what I say. I grab my bag and run to the place he text me.

The place he choose is our old home. Home where I was still believe on dream and hope. Home where my mother in her happiest time. Home where we still in one happy family. Home where has warm food on the table, comfy bed to sleep at night and where we go at the end of our every journey. It’s breaking my heart to see this house again. Somehow I feel something is going to be wrong tonight. The air feels so heavy and cold.

 I step in and looking for my mother. I saw she seat at the armchair while my father stand by her side.

“Eomma, I’m here.” I said and she reacted fast. I saw her scared face but she forces a smile.

“Good girl, that’s my daughter. Do you bring money with you?”

“Yes. Let Eomma go.”

“Sure.” He push my mother and she begin to walk toward me. I can see she’s shivering in cold and scared. I saw my father face too. He looks terribly sick and messy. His addiction is getting stronger even his hand trembling.

“My money.” He said when my mother stands behind me.

“Ok.” I said and open my bag.

“Eomma, I want you to run and never look back. Can you do it?” I whisper when I open the bag. I saw she nods. I hold the small bag and look at her.

“Now.” I said and throw the bag to my father. I saw my mother run from the room and I also slowly go out at the same time check on my father. He don’t care about us anymore. He just wants his money. I run after my mother but because I’m still sick I can’t run fast. My head feel dizzy too.

Suddenly I felt something strong pull my hair back and I stumble fall on my back. I look up and saw my father. How did he can out run me?

“Do you think you can lie to me? This money is not enough.” He said and slaps me hard.

“I don’t have any money.” I said. He begin to punch and kick me.

“My money….where is it?”

“I don’t have……” I said.

My father scream like a madman and it scared me more. He never screams like that. He totally out control his anger and beat me nonstop. I can’t breaths when he kick my stomach. I curl myself to cover myself but his punch and kick like a rain fall on me. I felt so weak and almost pass out when someone come and cover me. It was my mother.

“NO…..” I scream. My tears fall at the same time. My body and my heart hurt so much. He push my mother off of me. She hold his leg to make him stop kicking me but instead he beat her. I can’t stand up but I force myself to up. When he saw my mother is weak he walks toward me and holding a sharp knife. I know this is the end of me and I’m ready. Finally it’s here. I saw with my own eyes my father swing the knife toward me but in a split second someone run toward me and hug me tight. So tight until I’m breathless. That moment everything became so slow. Very slow like someone just push a slow motion mode. It becomes so clear.

“Eomma…..Eomma.” I call her and I feel something sticky and warm on my hand. I look at my father, he also seems so surprise. He drop the knife and walk backward slowly before he run to the road. Suddenly one car hit him very fast and hard. I saw his body flying over and fall on the road. I can’t control my tears anymore and cry like a hysteria.

“Eomma….please don’t leave me.” I keep saying that, over and over again. When someone come and helps us, I’m passed out.