02. Close your eyes

The next day Junhoe felt pretty tired since he didn't rest very well because of the unstoppable flow of thoughts that had crossed through his mind – all of them were about Jinhwan, only about him and always about him.
While he was dragging himself wearily into the kitchen, he heard Chanwoo and Donghyuk's laughter who were chatting animatedly. Once inside, he saw Yunhyeong and Jinhwan busy in front of the fridge and the stove, Hanbin sitting at the table with headphones in his ears and Bobby beside him was checking his phone, scrolling all the way down the amount of notifications.

"Good morning” he greeted all of them lingering his eyes on Jinhwan that imperceptibly moved his pursed lips.

“Hello, latin lover” Bobby winked making him feel ashamed even to exist.

“When will you stop?” Junhoe exclaimed red in the face, glancing toward Hanbin who kept his head down, “are you still mad at me, hyung?” he asked giving him a wide smile but Hanbin continued to ignore him.

“No, he’s grumpy by nature” Bobby said, and Junhoe couldn't suppress an amused chuckle, “so, how’s your girlfriend?”.

“She's not my girlfriend!” Junhoe objected with an exasperated snort.

“Time break!” Yunhyeong interrupted their conversation, “who’s going to the grocery store? The fridge is completely empty, I can't make breakfast”.

“And I’m starving!” the maknae complained, Donghyuk simply nodded showing him his support.

“I’ll go” Jinhwan said quietly, and so Junhoe lifted his hand away to propose to accompany him.

“It's not necessary” the oldest replied in a sharp tone that brooked no reply, trying to make him desist.

“I have a very long list” Yunhyeong interjected trying to convince him and waving the sheet of paper in front of him, “Junhoe will be a great help”.

“I don't need no help, especially not his” Jinhwan made it clear and those words were so cold that froze immediately Junhoe's heart.

Then it fell a sudden, deep and complete silence for a while. Junhoe clenched his fists and gritted his teeth to try to control himself, not to burst into tears like the child he was no more.

“Don't worry” Yunhyeong whispered in his ear when he put both palms on his shoulders rubbing a little, noticing how tensed Junhoe was because of the situation.

Jinhwan bit his lower lip realizing he had gone too far.

“What’s wrong, guys?” Bobby asked, even Hanbin noticed that something wasn't going the right way and took off the headphones coming out of his world made of music and lyrics.

“I'm so sorry, Junhoe, I'm just nervous” Jinhwan said finally turning toward him, although Junhoe couldn't see him.

Jinhwan approached him and touched his hand with his, and Junhoe shuddered caught by an emotion without a name.
“Would you like to still accompany me?” he asked smiling for the very first time.

"Well, you know, you need someone to reach to the highest shelves" Junhoe replied with a grin.

After getting prepared, they came out starting to walk together on the road to the grocery store, next to each other.

"Junhoe!” Jinhwan called him and the other turned around instantly, “do you want to catch a cold?” he scolded him by sliding up the zipper of leather jacket.

Junhoe looked at him, he was both confused and happy.

“You care about me” the younger realized with a smile quite silly that revealed his a little chubby, very tender and somewhat babyish cheeks.

“Of course I do” Jinhwan replied as if it were obvious, “of course I care about you” his voice grew much sweeter.

So Junhoe pulled him into a warm, loving embrace but unfortunately it didn't last long as Jinhwan broke away almost immediately by him leaving the other speechless, dumbfounded.

“Hyung?” Junhoe couldn't really understand why he was acting that way, he hadn't the faintest idea of what could be the reason.

“Come on, let’s go” Jinhwan said going on along the road, but Junhoe didn't dare to move and he stayed exactly where he was, standing still, silent and motionless.

“Junhoe!” Jinhwan called emphatically gesturing him to join him, “c'mon, let’s go!”.

He did it but with much reluctance: he wondered what he had done to deserve it, to be treated that way by the person that Junhoe loved more than anything and anyone. He walked to his side with his head down, staring somewhere on the asphalt and a certain amount of sadness buried deep in his heart. So Junhoe at one point grabbed his wrist and took him aside, ending up in a dead end. They were finally face to face.
“Did I do something wrong?” Junhoe began asking explanations, “have I offended you?”.

“No, you didn't” Jinhwan replied softly.

“I’m sorry for whatever I did I’m sorry. I’m terribly sorry” he apologized and then the river of thoughts transformed into words stopped for a while, “I don't know for what I’m apologizing for, but I don't care” his voice cracked as if he were on the verge of tears.

Jinhwan felt guilty.

"No, I'm the one who should apologize, not you” Jinhwan said looking down, he was distinctly uncomfortable, stuck in such an awkward position.