Believe me, you are the one, whom my heart finds, whom my mind reminds me of, whom my destiny wants, whom I love the most.

-Unknown-

Jonghyun went out of Joohyun's ward as he felt so worried after seeing Yoona ran away like that.

Is she out of her mind? She is pregnant, for God’s sake. She can't run so carelessly like that...he shouted inwardly.

But he blamed himself for making her like that in the end. She must felt so confused. And it was him who should give her comfort in situation like this, but he just gave her another reason to run away again.

He knew that apologize was definitely not enough this time. But he needed to catch her first.

He wouldn’t let her run away from him anymore. No, after he knew that she carried his baby. He wouldn’t let her struggle alone.

He knew exactly that she needed time. But she should stop avoiding him…for the sake of their baby.

Yes, please…Yoona-yahh…please give me a chance…for our baby…he said inwardly as he kept running.

The moment he arrived in the lobby, he saw she is running out of the main door. He then tried to run faster because it would be difficult for him to catch her if she took a cab outside. But…

CKIIIIIIIITTTT….BRAKKK??!!@*#

He stopped running because of that. And he heard people were screaming after that. He ran as fast as he could to see what happened. But too many people who were gathering around there.

“What happen?” he heard a girl asked to a security not far from him.

“There is an accident. A girl was crushed by a car…”

“…”

His heart skipped beating for seconds after hearing that. He didn’t digest it right away, until…

THUMP!!!

S – seolma…Yoona!!! He screamed inwardly as he suddenly became panic.

He might be too sensitive, but he knew exactly that Yoona just ran to that direction before.

He felt so weak but he should make sure it was…Yoona or someone else. He then walked fast, breaking through the crowd.

His mind was full of fear. And then he saw it…

…blood…and a girl with brown hair…was laying on the ground…

God…

He felt like he forgot how to breathe out of sudden. He couldn’t feel anything. He became so numb.

And a sudden thought came into his mind.

Yoona….

…he hurt her…it was just her who got so much pain in the end…and he regretted it so much…

He couldn’t even remember when the last time he saw her smile. All he could remember was her crying face, full of sadness, or anger. He really did so many sins towards her…and the baby…

…my baby…our baby…

He looked at the girl who was lying on the ground again…and his eyes became teary…

Oh God, what did I do all this time?

He asked inwardly as he still rooted at his place. He really couldn’t manage his own feet to move.

I know that what I’ve done to her is unforgivable, but please…please give me a chance to fix it all…please…save her and my baby…

He was praying inwardly as tears started flowing down on his cheek.

He felt like his feet couldn’t bear his weight any longer. He was sure he would fall in any seconds…

…before he suddenly saw it…

THUMP!!!

…in the crowd…across…

She looked so pale, scared with what had happened in front of her.

And Jonghyun felt like his heart skipped beating for the umpteenth times that day.

He didn’t know how to react. And when some nurses came and put that girl onto the stretcher, he finally could see it clearly.

The girl, who got into the accident, was not Yoona…

But he felt so weak even more because of that. He was so scared. He really didn’t know what to do if it was Yoona who got into the accident.

God…

The fear was still there. He really didn’t know what to do if something happens to her and the baby.

Oh God, I really can’t live without her…

He then forced himself to walk even if he still couldn’t feel his own feet at that time. He didn’t want to miss the chance again.

He should reach her, and their baby…

***

Yoona didn’t know what she was doing at that time. She promised to her baby that she would tell Jonghyun. But it was not easy to do that. In the end, she ran away from him…again.

I don’t know how to tell him…she said inwardly as tears kept flowing on her cheeks.

She was scared of his reaction.

What if he doesn’t want this baby? She started thinking negatively.

She felt sorry for her baby but she couldn’t help to be a coward again that time.

Mian~ Aegi-yahh…Eomma is not ready…she said to her baby inwardly as she kept running.

She then turned right after she went out of the main door. And she just stepped on the footway after crossing the road, when she suddenly heard a weird sound...

CKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!

She then turned around…but it happened so fast…and…

BRAKKK??!!@*#

A car just crushed a girl in front of her…

People were screaming after that. And she suddenly became paralyzed.

God…she said inwardly as she spontaneously put her palm over her bump, as if she wanted to make sure that her baby was okay.

She then saw people started gathering around her. She felt her heart beat rapidly when she realized that she could have been involved in that accident if she was late for a second.

Ohh, God…thanks for saving me and my baby…she felt so grateful for the fact she was okay at that time. She should act more carefully since it was not only her. She should take care of her baby too.

She couldn’t stop mumbling how grateful she was to God because of that.

But then she felt so sorry after seeing the girl who was laying with so much blood on the ground.

She totally forgot that she was in the middle of running away at that time.

But then someone blocked her view. And when she looked up, she was surprised to see Jonghyun who was looking at her with a devastated expression.

He didn’t say anything and just kept looking at her with that expression. Yoona stunned because of that.

But then he took her left arm gently and led her to walk out of the crowd.

Yoona didn’t know why she couldn’t refuse him this time. It was the first time she saw that expression. He looked so miserable until she couldn’t help to feel so worried about him again.

Yoona was clueless and just followed him in silent. She kept looking at him and felt worried even more.

She didn’t look at him carefully in Joohyun’s ward before, but…Is he sick?

Then Yoona realized they arrived in the hospital park. Jonghyun led her to sit on a bench after that.

But Jonghyun still in silent even after they sat for about five minutes there. Her left arm was still in his arm, but he didn’t look at her.

“What happen?” she asked worriedly. She forgot that she was avoiding him some minutes ago.

She then saw his pale face turned red…

Is he crying?

“Jonghyun-ahh, are you okay?” she was worried even more because of that.

But Jonghyun still silenced.

“Jonghyun-ahh?” Yoona repeated her question.

He then took a deep breath and turned to her. He smiled bitterly then looked at her arm in his grab again.

“I don’t have the courage to look at you...” he started in almost whispered tone. “…but I don’t want to be far from you again, Yoona-yahh…I just can’t…”

THUMP!!!

Yoona’s heart started beating rapidly again because of that.

“I know that I’m not worth your forgiveness after everything I’ve done. But…” he was choked because he held his cry. “…I’m so sorry, Yoona-yahh…” he then turned to her again with teary eyes.

“Jeongmal mianata…I really – really regret it so much…” he added with a very sad expression that Yoona had seen from him.

Yoona felt her heart hurt too by seeing this.

They silenced because of that with Jonghyun still looked at Yoona deeply.

And Yoona thought she should say something. But she didn’t know what she should say.

“I – I can’t live without you, Yoona-yahh…”

Yoona stunned again by that. She looked at his eyes again and she could see it clearly. He really meant it.

“Just thinking something might happen to you is scaring me to the death.” He then looked at his left hand that was shaking hard then fisted it back. “I just can’t Yoona-yahh…I really don’t know what to do if something happens to you...and…our baby…”

He thought it’s me who got into accident…Yoona finally understood why he was like that.

And Yoona couldn’t hold it any longer. She cried after hearing that in the end.

“Ohh, jebal…uljima~” Jonghyun sounded so guilty again. “You’ve cried so much because of me. Please, don’t cry anymore. It hurt me seeing you’re in pain…jebal…” he wiped her tears with his thumb. But Yoona cried harder.

She then felt Jonghyun brought her into his embrace.

“Mianata~ Yoona-yahh…Mian for giving you so many pains. Mian for hurting you so badly. Jeongmal – jeongmal mianata…” he said as he patted her back lightly.

And Yoona cried even more because of that.

It took several minutes until her cry turned into sobs. And she felt Jonghyun pulled himself away then wiped her tears again.

His expression was still the same. He was still looked miserable.

“Mian – mianhae~” she finally said as she started crying again after saying that.

“Aigoo…I told you to stop crying…” he said again as he sounded so hurt after hearing that.

“No, I should tell you this.” But she insisted as still sobbing hard. She wiped her own tears then grabbed his hands hard. “I’m sorry too, Jonghyun-ahh. I’m sorry for being so stubborn all this time and making everything hard for both of us…”

“Ani, Yoona-yahh. You didn’t do anything wrong.” He cut her right away. “I shouldn’t force you in the first place…I’m sorry for hurting your feeling all this time…”

“I didn’t mean to make you a second priority. I was so babo for thinking that you’re strong and could understand me…I shouldn’t do that to you…mian~” he added as he became teary again until he needed to look up to hold his own tears.

Then they didn’t say anything again after that. Yoona was still sobbing and Jonghyun started rubbing her hands in his grab to sooth her.

Yoona then took a very deep breath before said, “I was so selfish for refusing to accept Shinh…”

“Ssssshhhhh…” but she couldn’t finish her sentence because Jonghyun cut it off again. “Please…this is just about us…and our baby now. I regret everything that I’ve done. But let’s not mention someone else again. It’ll be just us from now on…ne? Jebal….” he said as he stammered again.

Yoona could feel it clearly, how guilty he was with what he had done.

“Mian if my foolishness made you feel insecure. But please, don’t doubt my feeling for you, Yoona-yahh. I love you so much…please believe me…” and he really couldn’t hold his tears this time.

He was crying in the end. And this is the saddest scene that she had ever seen in her life.

Ne~ he is in pain too…Yoona finally realized it.

She then moved closer, before she wiped his tears and brought him into her embrace.

“We’re both guilty…but let’s just stop it here, Jonghyun-ahh.” she said as she stammered.

“Let’s stop apologizing to each other…”

***

Jonghyun rarely cried. He could count how many times he had cried in his life. He cried when his grandmother died, then when he lost his patient for the first time. He never cried again after that.

But that day was the exception.

Feeling of fears, guilt, and desperation came together into his mind until it was unstoppable.

He was so afraid of losing Yoona and the baby. But the guilty feeling after what he had done was haunting him so much. And his love toward her was growing deeper until it made him desperate. That was why he cried in the end. He just couldn’t help it.

And in Yoona’s embrace, he finally realized that this was the time. He should ask her…

“Let’s get married, Yoona-yahh…” he said in a raspy voice.

He could feel it. Yoona was so surprised by his sudden proposal. He then pulled himself away and looked at her surprised expression. He took a deep breath as he wiped his own tears then wiped hers.

“I know that you need time,” he stopped his sentence to choose a better sentence to explain it to her, his good intention. But then he saw it.

She is still scared…

“I know you’re still scared,” he said carefully. “And I really – really don’t want to force you…but…”

He took a deep breath before continued, “…but please consider our baby…”

She looked so surprised even more because of that.

“I love you, so please give me a chance to fix it all. Let me be a good father for our baby. I want to make you, and our baby happy, Yoona-yahh…jebal…” he was teary again when he said this.

And Yoona too…started crying again…

He wouldn’t be surprised if Yoona rejected him actually. But still, he thought that he still needed to ask her.

He didn’t ask her to stop crying this time and decided to just wipe her tears instead.

“I know that I still lack in so many ways. But we can’t let our baby wait for us to be ready. So let’s just learn to be mature together, Yoona-yahh…for our baby…” he added, still in a careful tone.

Yoona cried harder as she placed her hand over his hand on her face before she nodded…

THUMP!!!

Did she just nod? He was not sure with what he had seen.

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter