I want to say I miss you, but it wouldn’t change anything so I’ll just keep on pretending I don’t.

-unknown-

Yoona finally had to admit it, that she fell in love with Lee Jonghyun. No, she wouldn’t deny her feeling towards him. She accepted it with a big heart. But she wouldn’t let him knew. She decided to not let her feeling grew more than this.

She knew exactly that she was not young anymore, and she didn’t need any dramas in her life. That was why she needed to avoid him. She didn’t want to face a painful love like Joohyun felt. And the main thing was she wouldn’t let that girl, Park Shinhye, hurt her heart too, like she did to Joohyun.

So, after that day, when Yoona overheard Yonghwa and Shinhye’s converstion, she acted as if she didn’t hear or see anything. She felt sorry for Yonghwa but she couldn’t tell Joohyun what really happened, except she asked her first. Joohyun’s condition was so weak. Yoona didn’t want to add more stresses to her.

Jonghyun was nowhere to be seen too since that day. She knew that Jonghyun was so busy, since he was a doctor. And Yoona should admit it that it made everything felt easier. She didn’t need to avoid him because of that. But still, her heart hurt. Deep inside her heart, she missed him terribly. She wanted to meet him…

Actually, Jonghyun forbade himself to be around Joohyun. He was afraid if Joohyun saw him, it could affect her condition and her baby’s health. Jonghyun always took Shinhye’s side from the beginning, and it was possible if Joohyun didn’t want to meet him too. But the problem between Yonghwa and Joohyun was already cleared a long time ago. And Yoona still couldn’t see Jonghyun every time she visited Joohyun in hospital.

She always tried to cheer herself that it was really for the best. She already promised to herself to not let her feeling grew too. But it was so hard.

And in the end, even until Joohyun finally discharged, she still didn’t meet him.

He might be came to see Joohyun when I was not around…she concluded inwardly, suddenly felt so sad with that possibility. But then again, she didn’t want to force everything between them. If she couldn’t meet him again after this, she believed it was for the best.

Yes, it’s for the best…she repeated that sentence inwardly.

Yoona then exhaled deeply before she looked at her wristwatch. Her class would begin in ten minutes, so she decided to start walking to the class.

Yes, love is important. But my career and my students are important too.

Yoona was a Professor in SKKU. In her late twenties, she could manage herself to become a young Professor there. She always enjoyed teaching. But her love life was always . She experienced some sad relationships before. And her last relationship made her chose to be single for almost two years. But she never rushed herself. She just let the destiny led her life. She just wanted to enjoy her life.

And when she finally admitted that she had a feeling to Jonghyun. She really tried to not think too much about that. But she still needed to avoid him as much as she could.

She just felt so fortunate that she could make herself busy to forget him in the end. Like that day, she was in her way to meet her high school friend, Kwon Yuri, in Haebaragi Hospital. She was a psychiatrist. She was getting married next month and wanted to give Yoona directly the invitation but she was so busy. So, Yoona told Yuri that she would come to Haebaragi Hospital to take the invitation and they could meet too.

But the moment she entered the hospital lobby, she was surprised to see Jonghyun and Shinhye there too. She turned left right away so she didn’t need to bump with them.

And when they finally passed, Yoona stayed in her spot for awhile. She didn’t see him for almost two months. She wanted to see him again. She then turned around to see Jonghyun escorted Shinhye to her car, but he didn’t accompany her.

But suddenly someone patted her back lightly. “Yahh! What are you doing?” Yuri asked curiously.

“Ahh..kkamjagiya…” Yoona was startled by Yuri sudden appearance.

“What are you doing here?” but Yuri repeated her question as she raised her eyebrows.

“Ani~” Yoona then chuckled lightly. “Let’s just go to your room!”

Then she spent their lunch time together in Yuri’s room afterwards. But in the middle of their conversation, someone suddenly knocked the door.

“Yuri-yahh!”

THUMP!

She knew this voice…

“Ne~? Come in, Jonghyun-ahh!” Yuri replied calmly.

Yoona didn’t have enough time to prepare herself, and Jonghyun already opened the door. But she counted inwardly, before she turned to look at him, tried to give him a simple smile.

“Yahh! You’re here?” Jonghyun looked surprised to see Yoona there.

“You know her?” Yuri looked surprised even more.

They then explained Yuri how they knew each other and talked together in the end.

“Ahh, Jonghyun-ahh. I forget to tell Shinhye-ssi before. But can she meet me again next Thursday? I have to go to Busan in Monday.” Yuri suddenly said.

The moment she heard that girl name was mentioned, Yoona felt so hurt again. But she tried to cover it as she sipped her tea again.

“Ahh, okay. I’ll make sure she is here next Thursday…” Jonghyun said calmly. “But is her condition really improving than before?” and Jonghyun asked further. It seemed like Shinhye’s condition was not really good until she needed to meet Yuri every week. But the fact Jonghyun was always in her side all this time killed Yoona slowly.

That’s why I can’t see him. He is busy taking care of that girl…

Yoona looked at him carefully and felt so hurt even more with what she saw. Jonghyun really focused on Yuri’s explanation about Shinhye’s condition.

Why do I need to know all of this? Yoona pitied herself.

She felt like she couldn’t bear to be in the same room with him any longer. She looked at her wristwatch and decided to bid them goodbye.

“I still have a class at 3 PM. I’ll get going, Yuri-yahh…” Yoona said simply as she stood up.

“Ahh, is that so?” Yuri looked so sad.

“Then, I’ll get going too, Yuri-yahh…” but Jonghyun stood up too. “I’ll drive you to SKKU, Yoona-yahh.” He said simply to Yoona.

Mwo?

“Y – yahh…” Yoona tried to find any excuses to refuse him. “You don’t have to…” but she couldn’t find any excuses in the end.

“It’s okay.” Jonghyun insisted shortly. “Kaja!” he said as he walked ahead.

Yoona turned to Yuri who already held her laugh. She was a psychiatrist, of course she must be realized it already. Yoona then just gave her a weak smile.

It was so fortunate Yuri didn’t ask her anything. So, Yoona bade her goodbye in the end.

They just reached the stairs to walk down, when Yoona said again, “I just remember, I need to go somewhere else, Jonghyun-ahh.”

But then Jonghyun stopped and turned to her. Yoona felt so nervous when she looked at his eyes.

It took several seconds until he finally said, “you avoid me, don’t you?”

“Mwo?” Yoona surprised by his sudden statement. “How come I avoid you when we just meet again today? Beside, how should I?” she felt so relieved that she could reply him calmly like that.

But suddenly a little kid just bumped into her and made her lost her balance. It was so fast. She fell right away after that. If she didn’t reach the handrail, she must be rolling down already.

She didn’t even scream, but everyone around her screamed to see her fall like that.

“Yoona-yahh!” Jonghyun walked down the stairs to reach her right away. “Gwenchana?” he said worriedly.

Yoona flinched when she tried to stand up. “I think I sprained my ankle…” Yoona said weakly.

“Jinjja?” Jonghyun looked worried even more. He then moved closer. It seemed like he intended to carry her.

“Yahh! Just get a wheelchair here! You don’t need to carry me!” Yoona refused him in panic.

But Jonghyun didn’t hear her refusal and just carried her.

God! Yoona screamed inwardly when Jonghyun carried her. She was scared Jonghyun would here her heartbeat that beat so crazily at that time.

It was Jonghyun who treated her sprained ankle. It was so painful for her so she didn’t have a time to feel nervous in front of him when he bandaged her ankle. And Jonghyun insisted to drive her home afterwards. Yoona was so tired and decided to not argue him back. She then agreed and started calling Joohyun to tell her that she could attend her class at 3 PM that day.

She pretended to sleep in the car, so she didn’t have to talk to him. But the silence between them was too painful for her. And Yoona didn’t know since when it took so long for them to reach her apartment. It should be just in fifteen minutes ride.

Jonghyun insisted to accompany her until she reached her apartment. And it was so fortunate that his phone rang the moment Jonghyun finished helping Yoona sat on the couch. He needed to go to hospital again. And Yoona cheered inwardly because of that. She didn’t know what to do if Jonghyun stayed longer in her apartment.

In the end he bade her goodbye, still with a worry expression. Yoona felt so touched by his concerns, but she tried to not exp