You may need some tissues. This chapter was stressful to write.

Chapter 24

Baekhyun barely gave Chen five minutes to dry off and get changed before he was in his room. He startled the other boy as he was pulling his shirt over his head.

“, Baek do you even knock anymore?”

“Sorry.” He settled himself on Chen's bed to make it clear that he wouldn't be leaving any time soon. “I just wanted to talk.”

Chen grabbed his discarded towel and covered his head with it, ruffling his hair into semi-dryness. He didn't really want any more prying from his friend. He just wanted to be left alone.

“Are you hungry?”

“No.”

In truth his stomach felt like a hollow pit and Baekhyun seemed to guess that because eh tipped his head to the side the same way a caring mother might when she knew her child was just pretending. Chen didn't really know what that was like but he had seen TV shows before and was under the impression that it was a common behaviour for mothers.

“Where did you go after school?”

He shrugged and pulled the towel off his head. “Studying.”

Baekhyun pouted. “Really?”

“Yes,” Chen snapped. “Why do you care?”

Baekhyun stood to face him. “Because we're worried about you. You've been acting strange ever since you and Kris argued.”

“Ever since I found out he would rather sleep with Luhan than his own mate when he's in heat, you mean? Am I not allowed to be pissed off about something like that?”

His friend flinched at the sudden anger and wondered how long Chen had been holding it inside.

“Of course you can be mad but shouldn't you talk to him about it?”

“He doesn't want to talk to me. He doesn't understand.”

“Why not?”

“I can't explain it to him.”

Slipping his hand into Chen's, Baekhyun looked at him imploringly. Chen was his best friend apart from Chanyeol. He couldn't bare to see him this unhappy.

“Tell me,” he said.

Chen sighed and after a few false starts managed to get the words out. “I know he loves me and he wants to protect me but it just feels like, especially lately, that he… he doesn't think I'm… you know.”

“What?”

Chen looked away, embarrassed. “I feel like he wants me to be his boyfriend but he doesn't want to have with me,” he mumbled.

“Chen, he adores you.”

He swallowed down the lump in his throat and shook his head. “He liked taking care of me and how I need him but when we're in bed it's like he thinks I'm...boring, I guess.”

“Did he say that?” If he had then Baekhyun would kill him with his bare hands, alpha or not.

“No,” Chen quickly reassured him, “it's just how I feel. We never do anything new and it's always safe and… and… I don't know. It just feels like he doesn't think of me that way. He doesn't even want me when one of us is in heat. He thinks I can't do whatever stuff he wants to do, I guess.”

“Have you talked to him about it?”

He shook his head hard. “He wouldn't understand. I'll sound stupid. Please don't tell him I said anything.”

“But Chen-”

“Just leave it okay, it's fine.”

“How is it fine?” He stepped in front of Chen as he tried to move away, blocking his path. “You should be happy. He thinks you're all sweet and innocent and he doesn't want to freak you out. Just tell him you're ready to try new stuff.”

His cheeks turning red, Chen pushed past him and tried to reach the door even though he didn't know where exactly he was going. Their dorm was too small to offer any good hiding places.

“Chen, stop!” Baekhyun rushed to get in front of him again. “You need to try.”

“Why?”

“Because you love him.” He watched as Chen looked away. “Don't you?”

For a long moment Chen didn't answer and then eventually he whispered, “I don't know.”

“Chen...”

“Maybe I was wrong about us. Maybe he just made me feel safe and now I have a pack and Ii can control my wolf better so… maybe we don't work when everything's going well. Maybe it's not exciting enough for him.”

His eyes were pained and Baekhyun knew he didn't want things to be that way. He didn't fight when he wrapped his arms around him.

“Please don't break up,” he whined. “I want you to be happy.”

“It's fine,” Chen mumbled against his shoulder.

He hadn't even thought things through that far. Would it be too hard to stay and watch Kris sleep with everyone else? Now that Tao and Suho were together he would have no one else to room with so he would be stuck with Kris.

“Where were you today?” Baekhyun asked again, puling back so he could read his friend's expression. He would understand if Chen had been looking for comfort or trying to find someone to make him feel desired again but he had plenty of pack mates to turn to for that.

“I told you, studying.”

“Chen, don't lie. I could smell someone else on you. I won't tell anybody.” He knew he wouldn't be able to keep it to himself but if that was the only way to get Chen to open up he was happy to lie.

“Nothing happened,” Chen finally replied. “We just talked and… hugged, a bit. I wouldn't cheat on him.”

“Who was it?” Baekhyun asked curiously. He didn't think Chen had any friends outside of the pack.

“Jiho,” he answered. “He's back at school.” He had talked to him about how much better his control was now and then somehow they had gotten onto the topic of Kris. At least talking to him had helped Chen sort through some of his thoughts.

“Be careful with him,” Baekhyun warned gently. “His pack got in a lot of trouble last year.”

“I know. But he's always been nice to me.”

“You know you can always talk to me and Chanyeol, right? If you ever want to come stay with us you can.”

“Thank you.” Chen gave a slightly more genuine smile.

“And if Kris really doesn't want you in bed then he's crazy.”

“Huh?”

Seizing the moment and ignoring the consequences, Baekhyun leant forward and kissed him, sweetly but firmly. Chen pulled back in surprise, his eyes going wide.

“What are you doing?” he demanded, his voice cracking.

“You have a whole pack now, Chen. If Kris doesn't want you then he can't stop you from being with anyone else.”

“But… weren't you upset when you thought Chanyeol liked me?”

“I was upset he didn't talk to me about it. I don't mind him being attracted to other people so long as I trust them and they don't try and take him away from me.”

So he wasn't even the tiniest threat. He had known that, deep down, all along but Baekhyun was admitting it to his face no. He would be fun to play with and nothing more.

Baekhyun tried to reach for him when he didn't say anything. “Chen, I just...”

Chen stepped away. “I think you should go,” he said stiffly.

“Chen...”

“Thanks for the offer but I don't need your pity.”

“That's not what this is.”

“Yes, it is. Now leave me alone.” He bit down on his tears just enough to keep his voice sounding strong. He pulled open the door and grabbed Baekhyun by the arm, clumsily pushing him outside, protesting all the way. Then he slammed the door and went to bury his face in the pillow.

Xiumin paced back and forth outside the door, letting his anger build up inside him. This wouldn't work if he wasn't angry enough and if he didn't get it done quickly, like ripping off a bandaid.

Finally he banged on the door, his free hand gripping the object in his pocket tightly. He was relieved when it was Changmin who opened the door. That would make things easier.

“Xiumin.” He sounded so happy to see him.

The younger wolf swallowed hard and tried not to look at the bruise on his cheek or the red marks that Luhan's teeth had left on one of his arms. He had certainly come out of the fight better from what Xiumin could see.

He pulled the collar out of his pocket and slammed it against Changmin's chest. The other boy's eyes widened in surprise and he reached up but before he could touch Xiumin's hand he had let go. Changmin caught the collar as it dropped.

“What...?”

“I don't want it.” Xiumin's voice shook more than he meant it to. He hadn't realised how hard it would be to say those words. “I don't want to be your pet any more.”

“But...Xiumin, wait.”

“No!” he snapped. He wouldn't look at the shock in his ex's eyes, he wouldn't feel bad for hurting him. “I can't do this any more. I'm with Luhan now.”

He turned to walk away but Changmin stepped out and called after him in a panic. Xiumin paused and looked over his shoulder.

“And if you really do still love me at all then you won't hurt him again.”

He saw Changmin's shoulders sag a little. “He was the one who attacked me.”

That made Xiumin lose his resolve for a second. Luhan was the jealous kind but when had he even realised there was something between him and Changmin? He felt bad that the two of them had fought because of him, regardless of who had started it.

“Just don't let it happen again,” he told him.

This time when he walked away he didn't look back, even when Changmin called after him so desperately and he had to bit his lip hard just to hold himself together.

Chen! Xiumin! Everyone, please sort yourselves out. You're killing me here.

Is everyone holding in there? It was really hard hurting Chen and Baekhyun in here.

I find upsetting Baekhyun particularly painful for some reason.