Chapter 14

Xiumin's mood could not have been more different to Changmin's when his ex opened the door at the first knock and greeted him with a beaming smile. Xiumin could only lower his eyes, feeling guilty already.

“Come inside,” said Changmin. Xiumin followed him to his room as if he had any choice. Nervously he perched on the edge of the bed.

“Did you bring your collar?” asked Changmin.

Slowly Xiumin removed his hand from the pocket of his hoodie, revealing the leather collar with his name shining on the little metal disc that hung from it.

“How come you're not wearing it?”

Changmin sat down beside him, too close.

“I didn't want anyone to see.”

“So, you haven't told your pack about me yet?”

No, and he didn't want to. Ever. “They haven't kicked me out so I mustn't have,” was all he answered bitterly.

“Sweetie, don't be like that.”

He tensed at the soothing feeling of Changmin's large hand rubbing soothing circles on his back.

“I just want to talk to you. You know I've never made you do anything you didn't want to.”

“You made me come here,” he whispered but not softly enough for Changmin to miss it.

“Don't you think you owe me an explanation. You were the one that stopped answering my calls and emails. Do you have any idea how that made me feel?”

A lump formed in Xiumin's throat because he knew he had been unfair. When Changmin had left they had promised to make it work. They had said they would keep in touch and the distance wouldn't break them but Xiumin had found it too hard. He hated being alone again and a little part of him was still mad that Changmin had left him behind even though he knew he had tried everything to get Xiumin to go with him. He had been selfish.

“I'm sorry,” he whispered. He tugged at his sleeves, Changmin's hand an oppressive weight on his back. “It was just too hard.”

“Is that when you met Luhan?” Changmin's voice tightened on the other wolf's name.

Xiumin shook his head quickly. He couldn't have Changmin thinking that he had gone running off into someone else's arms, someone else's bed, at the first opportunity. He couldn't bear to have Changmin think of his that way.

“That was before Christmas. I didn't plan it, it just happened.”

“How?” Changmin sat back, leaning back on one hand and levelling his gaze at his ex. Xiumin glanced up and back down quickly at the intensity in his eyes.

“He's on the football team with me.”

“That's how you met, not how you got together.”

“Why do you want to know?” Xiumin's voice rose in pitch. Was this why he had made him come? To make him feel bad about Luhan?

“You don't think I deserve to know how you ended up cheating on me?”

“I didn't!” Xiumin stood up and spun to face him, wide-eyed at the accusation.

“Well, we didn't break up, did we? And now you're sleeping with someone else. So tell me how you two ended up together.”

“No!”

“Why?”

“Because you left! I can do whatever I want with whoever I want. Just leave me alone.”

He spun and managed to take one step towards he door before Changmin had grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back. His grip was fierce and he shrank in it but still looked up at him defiantly.

“So that's who you are now? And how many people have you slept with since I left?”

Tears welled up in Xiumin's eyes.

“I haven't been with anyone outside of the pack,” snapped Changmin. “I only wanted you. I should have known there was someone else when you stopped talking to me.”

“No, it wasn't like that. That's not why I stopped answering you. I just… I just couldn't keep doing it. It hurt too much.”

“You think it didn't hurt me, too? That I didn't miss you?”

Xiumin looked away and willed himself not to cry because for so long he had wanted to know that Changmin had felt the same.

Changmin's voice softened. “You knew I was coming back. I promised.”

He scrubbed at his eyes with a sleeve. He hadn't been thinking of Changmin when he had agreed to join Suho's pack and especially not when he had fallen in love with Luhan. He had hoped secretly that Changmin might not come back and he wouldn't have to face this. Or maybe Changmin would have fallen out of love with him. It would have hurt but he could have moved on. He had buried his head in the sand and now he was in such a mess.

“Xiumin, look at me.”

He cupped Xiumin's face and made him look up. He could see his resolve weakening.

“I came back, and I still love you.”

His breath caught in his chest and he was glad of his ex-lover standing so close because it was probably the only thing stopping him from sinking to the ground.

“I can't,” he whispered. He had spent all day watching Luhan worry that Chen was going to hate him for sleeping with Kris. He had stood nearby when Luhan had desperately apologised to him, scared that he would lose his friendship but Chen had forgiven him. His pack was good and Luhan was good and they didn't deserve to have Xiumin betray them like this. He shouldn't have even been there when Luhan was still at home worrying that the obvious distance between Chen and Kris was all his fault. He should have been there to comfort him and he wasn't.

Changmin leant down, caressing his thumb over the smooth plain of Xiumin's cheek. “Didn't I protect you? Didn't I take care of you like you wanted me to?”

Xiumin sniffed and nodded. Changmin had been everything to him and he had loved him so unconditionally. If he hadn't left then they never would have broken up, he knew it. But he still would have met Luhan and what would have happened between them? Would he have still found him in the changing rooms after practice and not been able to resist the scent of his heat?

Changmin's hand slipped around his waist pulling him closer and when he leant down Xiumin didn't pull away. His eyes fell closed as Changmin kissed him and he tasted the old, familiar spark that was always there between them. And he hated himself for it.

I promise there'll be more flashbacks of ChangXiu because their story needs some explaining and is relevant to a few future ideas for this story.

What do you think of them so far?