Title: (7/10)

The title suited the one-shot well, since the rose was both symbolic of their love and was a motif throughout the story. Roses have always been said to represent beauty and the pain and ugliness behind beauty. It is also a symbol of pain. The use of 'sweet' lightens the mood slightly, and indicates that the story will be fluff. This contrast in the title is creative and meaningful. However, it isn't very original or attention-demanding; it doesn't draw the reader's attention. If I type it into the 'search' bar, your story doesn't pop up. Generally, you want it to.

Foreword/Description: (10/10)

Your story didn't actually have a foreword, so instead I'm going to base this section off how your story related to the scenario that was requested. I think that since the scenario given was quite cliche, your story was quite interesting.

Plot: (12/15)

Since the scenario was very cliche and your story wasn't long, managed to fit quite a lot into the story. I was hoping for a spin or twist in the story, however, it was quite predictable. I can't really analyse the plot given the length of your story, however, I do suggest that perhaps write a paragraph or so about how their love blossomed because it felt like there was a gap in the plot.

Character Development: (5/10)

There are two main characters in this story, Chorong and Mark. I found that both of them lacked personality.

1) Chorong. The typical innocent sweet girl who doesn't know anything about love and yet finds herself completely fallen for Mark, the popular kingka. I found her character to be shallow and dull.

2) Mark. We find out little about his character. He is the typical kind kingka who falls in love with the wallflower. However, we don't know anything else about him. Did he love her before he accidentally hurt her? What is he like? Is he funny, smart or outgoing? The reader is left with no knowledge about him.

I think that you could have used a little dialogue in this story, because a character's speech and tone of voice often gives away their personality.

Writing Style: (19/20)

Your writing style was easy to follow for the most part of the story. The only place I had difficulty reading it was in the dialogue between Chorong and Bomi. It wasn't so much the writing style, it was more because of your formatting and layout. 

I also found that the dialogue, at times, was either to formal or informal. I took a section of your writing and edited it.

This is the original:

"You shouldn't hang out with Mark. He is a guy to admire, not to date with. You don't know him that much, Chorong ah. I may sound nosy, but I mean it." Her best friend, Bomi, repeated for the upmteenth time. And for the good upmteenth time, Chorong shook her head.
"Bomi, thank you for concerning. But I don't see any bad thing from this."
"You are so blind now, Chorong. Don't you see how you changed after getting the Mark's girlfriend title?"
"I don't see anything changed."
"That's the problem!" Bomi groaned. "Don't you see your grades are dropping?"
Chorong chuckled. "That's normal, Bomi. I can sometimes get a B+. I'm just a human, you know."
"No! You have never had a B+ before you date Mark!" Bomi exclaimed. "And you're so... open now!"
She grinned. "Being open is always a good way, better than shy. Right?"
"No!" Bomi gripped her hand on both Chorong's shoulders and straightened her up. "Like, too open is a whole different thing. You have been affected by Mark. You became more comfortable around boys, I get it. That's good. But kissing in public? Mark is a foreigner, I get it. But he is not supposed to kiss you in this school!"
Chorong didn't listen to Bomi, for the upmteenth time.
The thing is, she didn't find kissing in public a problem.
Like, there was only them in the world.

The edited version:

"You shouldn't hang out with Mark. He's a guy to admire, not to date. You don't know him that well, Chorong-ah. I may sound nosy, but I mean it," her best friend, Bomi, repeated for the upmteenth time. And for the good upmteenth time, Chorong shook her head.
"Thanks for your concern, but I don't see any wrong about this."
"You are so blind, Chorong. Don't you see how you changed after you started dating Mark?"
"I don't see anything different."
"That's the problem!" Bomi groaned. "Don't you see that your grades are dropping?"
Chorong chuckled. "That's normal, Bomi. I can sometimes get a B+. I'm just a human, you know."
"No! You have never had a B+ before you date Mark!" Bomi exclaimed. "And you're so... open now!"
She grinned. "Being open is always a good way, better than shy. Right?"
"No!" Bomi gripped her hand on both Chorong's shoulders and straightened her up. "Like, too open is a whole different thing. You have been affected by Mark. You became more comfortable around boys, I get it. That's good. But kissing in public? I get that Mark's a foreigner but he is not supposed to kiss you in school!"
Chorong didn't listen to Bomi, for the upmteenth time.
The thing is, she didn't find kissing in public a problem.
Like, there was only them in the world.

I know that people say, 'don't use contractions in sentences!' but you can still use it in dialogue. It will make the dialogue sound more natural.\

Spelling, Grammar, Diction: (20/25)

I covered diction already and their wasn't much issue with your grammar. Sometimes, there was an issue with tenses not matching up, but that was about it. However, I did find a lot of spelling errors which was slightly off-putting.

For example:

shippishly=sheepishly

hardenning=hardening

Also, some words could have been replaced with others.

For example:

spike=thorn

The sharp things on a rose are referred to as a thorn. 

Also, you used some words incorrectly. For example:

"Let me ride you home."

This is really awkward to read, because to 'ride' something is completely different to giving someone a 'ride'. The first can sound a little ual, and the second just means to give someone a lift.

Everything else was fine.

Personal Enjoyment: (8/10)

It was too cliche for my liking, however, it was a nice, quick read when you don't want to read anything heavy. 

Total Score: (76/100)