_{p:s; better to read this while listening to Innocent Love by Astro}

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Let’s break up.”
 

“But why?”
 

“Just.”
 

“Just what?”
 

“I’m getting tired of you.”
 

“What do I do?”
 

“I don’t know. It’s just; I can’t even understand my own feelings.”
 

“Moon Jieun, you know that I love you right?”
 

“Yes, I know and I do love you.”
 

“Then, what’s the problem?”
 

“I don’t know.”
 

“Stop making excuses and tell me the truth.”
 

“I’m tired of you. I wished that you could lead me, and be my man but you’re too childish, Yoon Sanha. It’s always me who needs to tell you what to do and how to do. I’m tired, Sanha. I’m tired. Yes, I love you. And I feel stupid that I gave you almost all the pieces of my heart till there’s nothing left for me.”
 

“Wh--- What? You’re joking right? It isn’t the truth right?”
 

“I wish it is but sorry, let’s break up.”
 

“Moon Jieun please, please give me another chance so I could be a better person for you.”
 

“There’s too many chances that I gave you, Yoon Sanha and you wasted all of it.”
 

“B---But---”
 

“I’m sorry.”
 

ᵜᵜᵜ

 

The words I wasn’t supposed to say being spoken out loud on that day. And yes, I felt stupid for saying those words. I could just give him another chance like I always do but why, why do I need to push him away? It has been 6 months since we broke up and surprisingly I still think about him every single day.

 

Yeah, you can call me stupid for leaving him but it's not my fault alone though? He’s at his fault too. Ugh, basically I don’t know. I was confused with my own feelings too. 6 months will be more than enough for me to move on and forget all about him but my mind won’t allow it or to be precise my heart is.

 

Maybe if I could just give him another chance back then, everything would be okay now. We’ll be living like we used to be, laughing at our own jokes, waking up to see each of other face. Everything is possible if I could give another chance to him but I didn’t. I push him away, and now I regretted it.

 

What I once treasured is now a memory, a shadow lingering in the depths of my mind. It's a strange thing to lose something which you once had, like a limb torn from your body without the chance to save it. The door that was once open and welcoming was locked and disinviting. He had left me; I was alone.

 

 

ᵜᵜᵜ

 

 

She walked through the narrow alley without any direction to go. She used to have someone by her side but not now. Now she was alone and needs to survive in her life by herself. It wasn’t an easy thing to do but if she gives up, she will lost everything include her sanity.

 

She got no choice other than to be strong for the sake of herself, for the sake of her future, she needs to be strong. She has to move on and left all the bad memories behind without any doubt in herself. She may loves him more than herself back then but now she’s the one who pushed him away 6 months ago, there’s no way to go back and changed the fate.

 

She lost him. And she needs to accept the fact, that she’s the one who let the boy go far away from her life.

 

 

ᵜᵜᵜ

 

 

“Moon Jieun.” I heard someone called my name from afar. I turned my body around and I could see Yoon Sanha was standing right 10 meters away from me.

 

He waved his hand to me with two cone of ice-cream in his hand. I passed a smile to him and slowly walked towards him. He started to move just like what I do with a sweet smile he always had on his face.

 

“Here, your ice-cream.” He lends the ice-cream to me knowing that vanilla is my favourite flavor.

 

“Th—Thank you.” I stuttered as I know all of these were just another dream for me.

 

A dream that will not happen in my real life, but I don’t want this dream to vanish away. I want to stay in this dream even if it’s just a dream.

 

“Why are you stuttering? Let’s go.” He said using the voice that I longing for. That sweet voice I always wanted to hear every single day of my life.

 

He put his arms around my shoulders and we started walking. I could say I was still like before, unlike him who was smiling happily beside me. I was disbelief in everything, include this dream.

 

“Where do you want to go?” He asked me, “You didn’t like the ice-cream? Should I go and change it for you?” He said when he saw me still holding onto the ice-cream without doing anything to it.

 

“No, it’s just…” A pair of tears raced down my cheeks.  I can feel the warmth, sliding down my cheek, and rolling off my chin.

 

“Jieun, are you okay?” He startled when he saw tears coming out from my eyes. Slowly, he wiped the tears for me and asked me to look into his eyes.

 

His eyes were the colour of earth kissed by spring rains, the hue that promises to stir life from dormant seeds, the nascent plants guided upward by the light before blossoming into the vibrant colours of a new season.

 

I miss that stare of his. I miss to be by his side just like now. I miss everything about him. Even I know it’s all just a dream, I only want it to be some good memories that I could keep it by myself.

 

“Why are you crying?” Without answering his question, I hugged him with no doubt in myself. I just want to hug him even if it’s a dream. I should stop thinking about the dream and make it real at least for me.

 

“Jieun, what happen to you?” He caressed my hair like he always did before when I was having my bad day and just need him by my side.

 

“Nothing. I’m so happy that I could meet you even if…” I didn’t dare to continue my words as I’m afraid that everything include Sanha will disappear and gone forever.

 

“Shh, don’t cry. I will always be here beside you. I promised you right?” He said and yes, he promised me, to never leave me alone, never. But he already left me 6 months ago and I was alone throughout my empty life.

 

“Okay, I won’t cry anymore.” I wiped my left out tears and gave out a smile to him.

 

 

“That’s my girl.” He pinched my cheeks before interlocked his hand into mine. I looked at it and couldn’t help myself but felt somehow odd when he did that.

 

But yet, and again my lips curved into an indescribable smile and no one knows what’s the meaning behind my smile.

 

“Where should we go?” He asked, “Cinema or park? Or do you want to go theme park?" Excitedly he asked me while holding onto my hand tightly without any intention to let it go.

 

I felt great with this situation even if it's... Okay, at least Sanha is with me right now. He was holding my hand and loving me like he did before. What else should I ask Him to give me? Nothing, because Yoon Sanha is my everything.

 

"Anywhere, as long as you are here with me." I said and laid my head on his arms. I could feel the warmth that I longing for.

 

"You look weird, Moon Jieun. Are you okay? Should we just go home?" He asked with full of concern. His eyes showed the kind of gentle concern he used to do before.

 

"Should we?" I let out an awkward laugh as I really didn't know how I am supposed to react with this situation.

 

"Yes, we should. Your face is pale." He put his hand onto my face and I couldn't help myself but love with what he did to me right now.

 

"Okay then." I said and put my arms around him and put my hand onto his arms like I did before.

 

 

ᵜᵜᵜ

 

 

I woke up from the short dream. My eyes widely opened as I grasped for a breath. It’s a dream. It’s really a dream. Yoon Sanha wouldn’t be by my side anymore. I sighed.

 

Obviously it’s just a dream. How can Sanha suddenly be by my side when we already broke up? I sighed again. I tried to close my eyes and recall the dream back but it was useless. Sanha has gone even if it’s only in her dream.

 

I turned my face to the right side and could see a black notebook on the table beside my bed. That’s when I remembered all of it, how Sanha could appear in her short dream. She has been reading the notebook since yesterday and felt asleep while reading it.

 

 

I reached the notebook and put it on my lap. I stared at it for quite a long time before I opened it. By seeing the first page, everything happened before came across my mind as there's too much thing I had done with him.

 

 

A couple photos of Sanha and me were pasted on the first page. I still remember the day when both of us went to a theme park and he needed to ride all the games just because of me when he obviously scared of it. I laughed at the thought of my own memories.

 

I went to the second picture. It’s my picture, alone, and I was looking at the sceneries on the Namsan tower. For sure, it’s Sanha who captured this picture. My lips curved into a smile as I thought about it.

 

ᵜᵜᵜ

 

“Yoon Sanha.” I whined when I saw he’s taking some pictures of me without my permission.

 

“What? You’re too pretty today my dear.” He ruffled my hair while let out a smile with a pink coloured braces on his teeth.

 

“But still, it isn’t fair.” I said and walked away from him.

 

Sanha giggled before he back hugged me.

 

“Yoon Sanha, we’re in public.” I hit his hand that being put on my waist.

 

“Who cares, you’re mine, remember?” He cheekily said and put his head on my shoulders.

 

I laughed at his words. I let him hugged me for a while as we enjoyed the sceneries right in front of us. He looked happy today, probably because there’s me by his side. I wished this moment could freeze and stay just like this forever.

 

“Sanha,” I said, he nodded. “Yoon Sanha.” He's still back hugging me and nod his head again.

 

“Don’t you ever dare to leave me alone. Never, okay?” I took a deep breath as I said those words.

 

He nodded again as a yes answer. Then, he break the hug and made me face him, eyes to eyes. I looked into his hazel coloured eyes, it’s so beautiful. I wished I could own him by myself. We stayed like that for a few minutes before Sanha grabbed my hand and put it in his.

 

“Moon Jieun, listen.” He said, “I love you and will forever loving you. Remember that I will always be there by your side and there’s no way for you to be alone by yourself.” He took a breath.

 

“I promise that I will stay beside you and taking care of you like I always did before.” He said, “Because you’re the most important person in my life, Moon Jieun.”

 

ᵜᵜᵜ

 

One by one, my bead of tears started flowing out from my eyes. He promised me back then and he broke the promise. He said he would stay beside me forever. He said that he would never leave me alone but he did. He did all of that.

 

He had leave me alone for 6 months. 6 freaking months and there isn’t a moment where he would come and say hi to me. For 6 months, I’ve been struggling to forget all the things about him and I almost made it till one day, one brown box came into my house and changed my whole perception towards him.

 

I missed him, so much. I don’t know how am I supposed to live without him? He has been lighten up my world for several years and when he gone, there’s no one could lighten up my world like he always did.

 

It’s always him, who will be there for me, no matter what happen to me, he will be there right beside me. Even if I ignore him, I scold him, I yell at him, he would always stay.

 

Yeah, my fault. I shouldn’t let those words came out from my mouth on that day. The biggest mistake I ever did in my whole life. I sighed.

 

ᵜᵜᵜ

 

“Moon Jieun, Yoon Sanha is here.” My mom shouted some nonsense words while I was in my own world.

 

“Mom, stop joking.” I said, “I know I’ve been jerk for several months, but that doesn’t mean you could deceive me.” I shouted to make sure that she heard it.

 

“I’m not joking, Yoon Sanha is here.” Again, she let nonsense things came out from .

 

Suddenly, I heard someone knock my door. I startled by it. I sit on my bed while grabbing my knees without any intent to open the door. I refused to give any reaction as I thought it’s my mom who was knocking on my door.

 

“Moon Jieun.” I heard the voice that was almost impossible for me to hear it right now.

 

Wow, I guess I’ve been so stress lately that I can hear his voice, this is so unexpected.

 

“Moon Jieun, it’s me, Yoon Sanha.”

 

So it’s real? Yoon Sanha is here? And he’s standing in front of my room right now?

 

I put my feet down onto the floor and slowly stood up. I walked towards the door and stopped myself from moving when I was 10 cm away from it. I held the door knob and think at the same time whether I should open the door for him or let him to wait for me till I don’t even know when.

 

Then, I heard another knock on my door which made me startled by it. I could feel that my heart was pounding really hard upon the sound of someone’s fist knocking the door. I turned the doorknob and slowly till there’s a space between the door and the outside world.

 

I was still like before, didn’t dare to move my body and let myself stay there for a while before I could hear a foot step coming right into my room. I tried to lift my head up but I failed. I was too scared of reality, Sanha might be here but what if it’s all another dream for me? It . And, I officially hate my dream.

 

“Moon Jieun?” He said when he saw me standing like a mannequin as if I looked like I wasn’t a real human at that moment.

 

I raised up my head and yes, it’s real. Yoon Sanha really here. He’s standing right in front of me and… He wasn’t smiling. He looked at me with a blank look on his face. He might judging me so hard because of the puffy eyes I have right now. Okay, blame my tears that was constantly coming out from my eyes every time I thought about our memories.

 

Oh yeah, why would I think about ‘our’ memories right? It’s already over. Yes, yes. I forgot about it.

 

“How are you?” He asked me. In my eyes, he looked concern about me but he didn’t. His voice sounds different. It sounds really cold to me like it wasn’t Yoon Sanha who was here with me.

 

“Oh, uh, I’m fine.” I stuttered and avoided myself from looking into his eyes.

 

“Oh, great.” He said and seems like it’s the truth. He didn’t care at all about me.

 

I felt slightly hurt with his cold words but hey, there’s nothing happened between us anymore, like seriously I need to realize that he isn’t mine anymore. It has been 6 months, Moon Jieun, I beg, please wake up.

 

“I want to take my stuff.” I nodded, gesturing my hand towards my room as if I’m asking him to go ahead and don’t mind about my existence here, I’m not even important.

 

He walked towards the table beside my bed. He took some books that I nicely put on the table which is his. But I’ve been keeping that book for fricking 6 months and he finally take the books today, I let out a bitter smirked.

 

I admired him from the back, he looked just the same. Nothing change about his appearance obviously. He still with his pink braces that always look cute on him. I don’t think anyone could pull that style nowadays but he fits just well to it.

 

“How do you get this?” He asked while holding a book in his hand.

 

That’s his diary though?

 

“I don’t know.” I said, he looked deadly serious right now as if he’s going to kill me anytime soon.

 

“Chu Yejin.” He mumbled alone. Why are you doing this to me?  He sighed.

 

I approached him slowly and tapped his shoulders when he wasn’t paying any attention to my words, “Yoon Sanha, are you okay?”

 

He startled. He looked at me with a look that was almost impossible for me to understand it. My eyes met his eyes but it’s empty. He used to have a pair of sparkle eyes that everyone would fall for every time they looked at him but the sparkle somehow missing away from his eyes. He looked lost.

 

“I’m sorry, but I will take this only for now. Good bye.” He excused himself with his diary in his hand.

 

Wait, but that’s the only thing that I could keep as… our memories.

 

ᵜᵜᵜ

 

“What is this?” Sanha slammed the book onto the table in front of him.

 

Yejin who was working on her assignment startled by Sanha sudden loud voice. She lifted her head up, passed a look to Sanha who was clenching his teeth at the moment.

 

“What?” She replied Sanha’s question with a question.

 

“It’s you right?” He paused, “It’s you who send this diary to Jieun right?”

 

“If it’s me so what?” She turned her attention back towards the laptop in front of her. She tried to continue her works and typed some words before Sanha shut off her laptop by pulling out the plug.

 

“Yoon Sanha!” She couldn’t control her temper and end up hit the table using both of her palms.

 

It might hurts her but for God sake, she didn’t save the data just now and she lost everything now. She needs to do it from the start back right now. Then, she gave a death glare towards Yoon Sanha who wasn’t feel guilty with what he had done just now.

 

“Why the hell are you doing this to me, Yoon Sanha?!” She paused, grasping for a breath. “Enough. I’m tired, Yoon Sanha, I’m tired.”

 

‘I’m tired.’ Surprisingly, it’s a familiar word to him.

 

“Look, I know that you accept me as your girlfriend because you want to forget about her right? You want to forget about Moon Jieun right? But you can’t. No, you won’t let yourself to forget about her.” She stopped herself from talking as if she didn’t dare to continue her words anymore.

 

She loves Yoon Sanha, more than anyone thought it would be. She willing to wait for Yoon Sanha even she knows that it’s almost impossible for him to break up with Jieun. However, he broke up with her.

 

Since that, she approached him in order to heal his broken heart and be someone special in his life. She did it. She and Sanha has been dating for the past 2 months but… she will never own his heart by her own. There’s always a girl named Moon Jieun between two of them.

 

“Chu Yejin, look.” He hold onto her shoulders and asked her to look at him. “You are my girlfriend now. It has been 2 months since we’re dating and I don’t find any problem in our relationship. There’s no point for you to send this to Jieun. I’ve tried---”

 

“I’ve tried my best to forget her. That’s what you’re going to say right? Yes, I admit that you tried but Yoon Sanha, it didn’t work. There’s her in your heart. She still there, in your heart. Don’t you ever deny it.” She cuts his word.

 

“But---” He tried to spit out the words but failed.

 

“I don’t want to hear any excuse anymore. To be honest, I do love you and yes, I was probably the happiest girl ever when I heard that you broke up with her,” She stopped. “Huh, I couldn’t even say her name.” She mumbled.

 

“But Yoon Sanha, you know I did a lot for you right to cheer you up, to heal your broken heart and I thought I did it when you asked me to be your girlfriend. Huh, I was so stupid back then to believe that you really fall for me.” She catched for some air.

 

 

“Okay, look. Let me go.” The words that came out from Yejin's mouth wasn’t something she really wanted to say.

 

She wiped the tears that was coming out from her eyes. Without her realized, those bead of waters could come out from her dry eyes. Maybe she looked strong and she thought she could hold her tears as she didn’t want to look weak in front of him but unfortunately she failed.

 

“Wait, what?” His eyes popped out when he heard that, “Are you really going to be like this? You’re going to throw me away like Jieun did to me?”

 

“I am not Moon Jieun, Yoon Sanha. I would never have a thought to leave you if you could love me like how you love her.” She lowered her face so that Sanha couldn’t see her worst state right now.

 

“Just go back to her. I bet that would make you happy.”

 

ᵜᵜᵜ

 

“Pretty sure that I heard he said a girl name just now.” I mumbled.

 

“Don’t tell me that he found a new girlfrind.” I sighed. “But it has been 6 months since we broke up, wasn’t that normal? He needs to move on as well.”

 

“But how can he moves on alone by himself? While I’m here, still drowning in our past memories. Ugh.” I groaned.

 

It’s so stupid for me to think that Sanha still loves me after we broke up. It’s almost impossible, I sighed. Well, Jieun, just move on. That’s the only thing you have to do right now.

 

ᵜᵜᵜ

 

Chu Yejin left Sanha speechless without any words that he could say anymore. At this point, he could not even deny that he still loves her. He still loves Moon Jieun.

 

It wasn’t easy though to forget his first love. He has been spending too much of his times with the girl and it was almost impossible for him to say that he has forgotten her.

 

Sometimes, he constantly think about why and how he could break up with the girl? Just because she’s tired of him? He must be stupid enough to let her go just because of that reason when he has been dating the girl for 3 years.

 

But… it’s already over between two of them. He should stop thinking about her by now and move on but no. He couldn’t lie his own heart. How he was supposed to move on when the girl was the one who always wandering around his mind and refused to leave him alone?

 

ᵜᵜᵜ

 

“Moon Jieun! Can you help me buying some stuff?” I heard my mum shouted from the kitchen.

 

I shrugged. Why the hell she has to ask me buying the stuff she wanted when I just put my on this comfy sofa to watch my favourite drama? Well my life supposed to be unfair anyway.

 

“What is it?” I replied. Then, I grabbed the remote control and turned off the television. I will watch the drama later. I thought.

 

I went upstairs and put on my sweater as it’s cold outside. It’s winter season afterall. I need to at least wear 5 pieces of clothes as I really can’t stand cold. My cheeks will blushed if I ever get cold and that was actually .

 

Slowly I walked down the stairs and could see my mum was waiting for me at the end of the stairs while holding onto her purse and some money in her other hand.  I sighed. Looks like I really need to go out right now.

 

“I’m sorry. I could ask your father to go and buy but he’s going to be late tonight.” My mum said while passing the money to my hand.

 

I take the money and put it in my pocket. I passed a smile to her and nodded my head indicated that I understand the situation. In addition, it has been a while since I went outside so it was kind of great to actually take some walk now.

 

I wore my shoes and waved to my mum before going out from the house. The first thing I saw when I took my feet out from the house was it’s snowing. It’s beautiful but I’m freezing.

 

I walked through the alley that was totally covered with snow. This is when I usually remembered about my memories with him. I shook my head to shove away the thought I had just now. Such a bad timing to reminisce the memory.

 

ᵜᵜᵜ

 

He took a sit on one of the bench that was provided at the park. He looked around but there’s nothing around him except the falling snow that was slowly covering up the park with white colour. It looks beautiful in his eyes but somehow lonely.

 

There’s a bit of loneliness behind his quiet eyes. The urge to have her by his side at a moment like this, so high as if he would like to make a clone of her and put it beside him right now. Even if it’s a doll or a mannequin, he wouldn’t care as long as it’s something that look like her.

 

He put his hand on his jean pocket before taking out his wallet and opened it. He stared the wallet for quite a while before his lips curved upwards into an indescribable smile.

 

ᵜᵜᵜ

 

From afar, I could see a figure that was so familiar to my eyes. I wasn’t sure if it’s another dream or it’s real. If it’s just another dream for me, I would like to wake myself up from this never ending dream. I didn’t want to be haunt with my own memories for this long.

 

I walked with a quiet step towards the guy who was sitting quietly on a bench while looking at his wallet. When I was about 5 metres away from him, I stopped.

 

Should I sit beside him and say hi to him or just walk in front of him like he’s totally a stranger to me? Wait, why would I go and sit beside him? Are you out of your mind, Moon Jieun?

 

Before I could decide anything, I heard someone calling up for my name.

 

“Uh, Moon Jieun.” He gasped. He looked at me with the same eyes but got a different feels this time. It was more like… he’s in trouble.

 

I looked at him, deeply stared into his eyes when he suddenly stand up and walked to me. I took a step back when I saw he was heading towards me.

 

He took the plastic bag in my hand and went back to his sit. He put the plastic bag down and passed a look to me. I looked at him with a blank face, obviously didn’t understand with what he did just now.

 

However, I took a sit beside with some gap between us. It will be awkward if there’s no gap though. Both of us stay silent for about 10 minutes when Sanha suddenly opened his mouth to say something I didn’t expect that he would say it.

 

“I miss you.”

 

I turned my face towards him as soon as I heard the unexpected words coming out from his lips. He was staring at something that didn’t exist in front of him while I wasn’t sure how to react with the words. Obviously, I missed him too. But…

 

“I know it sounds so stupid, but I’m not lying when I say that I miss you. I really miss you.” He paused, “6 months. It has been 6 months since we broke up so why would I think about you right? I found it’s funny when everything that I saw, everything that I heard will constantly remind me of you.”

 

“It’s a lie if I said I never thought about going to your house and meet you, saying sorry for what I had did and wished that you could be mine again. But every time I want to take a step further, it would remind me of your words saying that ‘I’m tired.’” He sighed.

 

I decided to stay silent. Let me hear his words till the end. Only then, I could make a wise decision.

 

“I don’t know if I should tell you or not, but yes, I was dating a girl named Chu Yejin for the past 2 months. She is the one who cheered me up when I broke up with you back then.”

 

‘Was’? Then, he already broke up with her?

 

“That’s great.” I said and passed a smile to him. “I really need to go now. My mum must be waiting for me.” I stood up and grabbed the plastic bag that was on the floor.

 

My cheeks started to get blush as I was really freezing at the moment. I sneezed that moment I want to take a step away from Sanha. Suddenly, I could feel someone put something on my shoulder.

 

“Don’t get sick, you fool.” Sanha put his coat on my shoulders in hope that it will lessen my cold even if it’s a little bit.

 

I turned around and passed the coat back to him. He looked at me with a confused look. He refused to take the coat from my hand by hiding his hand behind his back.

 

“Don’t do something you never did before.” I said and put the coat on his shoulders.

 

He stared into my eyes and I avoided the stare that was given by him.

 

“I’ll go first. Take care.” I spun my body towards another direction and catched for some air before I started walking.

 

“No, don’t go.” Sanha back hugged me.

 

 

I stunned. I tried to let myself go but his grip was too strong that was almost impossible for me to run away from him. Eventhough I missed his warm hug, I didn’t want him to be in my life now.

 

I was afraid. Afraid that I might give up on him again. Afraid that I might let him go again. Afraid that I might push him away like I did before.

 

When he is the only person I need the most in my life right now.

 

“Stay with me. Just stay with me.” He begged.

 

“Yoon Sanha, let me go.”

 

“Why would I? If I let you go now, thats mean that I will let you go away from my life forever.”

 

“Yoon Sanha, please.”

 

“Not till I hear what I want to hear.”

 

I used some force to loosen his grip on my waist and faced him. I took both of his hand into mine and looked into his eyes. I stared at it while grasped for a breath.

 

“Look. It’s not like I want to keep my distance with you. Yes, to be honest I want you to always be by my side through thick and thin but…” I stopped. I was not sure whether I should let it all out right now or keep it by myself.

 

“I was afraid. I was afraid that I might do the same thing I did to you before. Just thinking about being apart with you, my heart feels like it's going to break into thousand of pieces and there's no way to put it back together.”

 

“Being apart with you for 6 months without any news or even a call from you was suffocating enough for me. Sometimes, I would stay in my room for the whole day and let the endless tears coming out from my eyes. Sometimes, I would dream about you and wish that the dream will never stop as I wanted to be with you even if it's just a dream.”

 

He stay silent. I take a look at his face and his eyes were still on me but… I could see a bead of water coming out from his eyes. Then, I pursued my fingers towards his face and wiped his tears away before passed a smile to him.

 

“I know it may sound stupid for you when I was the one who asked you to go and leave me back then.”

 

“No, it’s not. I was the one who supposed to be call stupid, because I didn’t stop you and hold onto your hand back then. If there’s anyone to be blame, that was supposed to be me.” He cuts my words.

 

I shook my head. “No.”

 

“Yes it is, my dear.” He paused and put his hand onto my face, lifted my head up so that we would look up into each other face. “I promise, I will never let you go after this even if you asked me to do it.”

 

I stuttered. I want to say ‘yes’ so badly but I kept holding myself from saying it. Slowly, my lips changed into an upward curved and that was probably the sincere smile I ever had on my face over this whole period of break up.

 

“I miss you, Yoon Sanha.” I pouted my lips before buried my face on his chest.

 

“You could never imagine about how much I’ve been missing you, Moon Jieun.” He put his hand on my hair and caressed it.

 

 

“Just stay with me because you're the only one I want in this world.”