~ Jongin's POV

Sehun and I take glances at each other and Baekhyun while we're walking. Sometimes he tends to stay behind and later we find him somewhere, hyperventilating, alone, shaking like crazy and crying, struggling to breathe. Baekhyun has panic attacks sometimes, and if they're creepy for us to watch, I can't imagine the pain Baekhyun himself goes through. We get to the safe house and sneak inside quickly. I smile a little and stretch my fingers, that have gone sore from beating the shopkeeper. There are three people up, and they're gathered next to the stairs. We greet them shortly and Sehun and I go to our beds. Sehun takes out the chocolate bars and stuffs them into the hole in the wall, where he has a huge pile of stuff he has stolen. I go to the drawer next to the bathrooms, and put the money to the left drawer, second from the bottom. Before the place was abandoned, it had some old papers and stuff, we burned those things one winter night when Sehun was almost freezing to death. It was scary as . I sigh and return to Sehun. "You okay?" I ask him and he nods with a calm face, his eyes are looking over to the staircase.

Taeyeon is on the bottom stair, talking to Baekhyun. They speak quietly, Baekhyun nods and they head upstairs. "It must be payday", I mumble softly. Every week they go to Taeyeon's office and usually stay there for an hour or two. Afterwards Baekhyun is exhausted ("All that paperwork for an unofficial criminal safehouse?!" he complains from time to time) and goes to sleep after a quick shower. I shake my head when they disappear into the office once again.

Sehun inhales deeply and shuffles the stuff in the wall before taking out a small post card with a beautiful city view on it. The corner of the card has a pretty, white text that says "Bali". Sehun points at the card. "This is where I'm going to live. I'm going to go there with Luhan and we're going to own a beautiful house and a motorcycle", he says with a smile. I shake my head. "You're childish", I mumble and sit down next to him. "Are you cold?" I ask Sehun. "No, not really", he says and tosses the card back. "I'm thirsty. I should've stolen some lemonade", he says with frustration and sits down. There's a long silence. "So... When are you and Taemin meeting again?" Sehun asks and looks at me with a bratty smirk. I smack his face gently with the dog plush, and he giggles with me.

~ Chanyeol's POV

I look at my watch and pull over by the bar that burned down last night. It's almost 11pm as I get out of the car and fix my camera's position on my chest. I pull my jacket closer and look at the dark charcoal ruins. The dust has landed, there are ashes on the ground, the faint smell of smoke is long gone. I can see my own breathing in the cold night air. I turn on the camera and point it at the building. Snap.

I smile to myself and look around; this hobby might sound weird to others, but to me, taking pictures of burnt down buildings is very calming. During the fire, it's a disaster. There's pain, screaming, death, panic. But after the fire is out, there's just peace. Silence. The relief that it's over. And the things you lost... Well, you can still find something from the ashes. And even things like that can bring us comfort. If not, at the very least, you have the memories.

I walk up to the door and step inside cautiously. I look around and start taking pictures. Flashes from my camera light up the room. There's something enchanting about them.

As a firefighter, I obviously don't wish that fires would happen. Even if fires are terrible accidents, where people can die, lives can be ruined... Usually there's still something left. Not everything is lost. There's something left. The fire strips down everything that human has made purposefully beautiful, and it creates something that awakens much more emotions than the orginal product. Fire is uncontrollable. It has so much force, and my job is to fight it.

Suddenly I can hear steps behind be, and I turn to the door.

~ Baekhyun's POV

I step into the bar and take a deep breath. I take a few steps inside and look around with tired eyes. I breathe in the ash and smoke – the smell is still lingering inside. I smile a little to myself, and then suddenly I spot something next to the counter. Is that... A person? I flinch a little and freeze. A deep voice calls out: ”Uh. Hey.” I open my lips, but no words come out. The stranger walks closer slowly, and I start backing away quickly. ”No, no, I'm not dangerous! Don't worry!” the stranger says and raises his hands. He comes closer and I can start to see some features. A tall man, large ears, messy hair and large eyes. A camera is hanging around his neck. He smiles at me. ”Is everything okay? Are you lost?” he asks. My instinct is telling me to run. I should run. ”You... Do you speak Korean?” the stranger asks and looks at me questioningly. ”Aa–ahh. Yes”, I stutter. We stand there in the darkness, staring at each other.

”What are you doing here?” he asks. I shrug a little. ”I heard that... That this place burned down. And I just wanted to see it”, I answer quietly. I have to be careful about the words I let slip out of my mouth. I might accidentally confess to burning down a bar. He nods. ”The athmosphere is quite beautiful, isn't it? The fire itself... Yeah, it's catastrophic. But... In a way, what it leaves behind is... Very poetic”, he says with a dreamy voice as he looks around. Has he been taking pictures of this? The mess that is left? When all the beauty of the fire is long gone?

”Y-yeah, I guess”, I mumble. ”I-I really should go”, I mumble and start turning away. ”No! Please stay! I'm Chanyeol”, he says and grabs my arm.

Something in my head just clicks and I quickly punch the arm away, backing away. ”Get your hands off me!” I scream out and look at him, ready to fight my way out. He looks frightened. I take a few deep breaths. ”O-okay! I'm sorry”, he says and I try to calm myself down, before this turns into a full-on panic attack. ”I-it's okay. Sorry, I... Over... Reacted...”, I mumble and sigh. ”I'm Bae-”, I start, but cut myself short. I shouldn't tell a stranger my real name. ”I'm Kai”, I introduce myself with a nickname we have for Jongin. He nods a little and smiles. ”So... I'm Chanyeol. I'm a photographer, you know, heh, if you couldn't figure that out”, he says and looks at his camera. Silence falls between us again.

My head starts spinning. My heartbeat suddenly feels a tad bit too loud.

”I need to go”, I quickly whisper and storm out of the building. Chanyeol says something to me, but I can't hear it. I've already ran out to the street and into an alleyway.

~ Chanyeol's POV

I look after the strange boy with confusion. Did I upset him? I shake my head a little. He seemed like a normal person, but... There was something off. He looked extremely skinny. He was shaking, like he was cold or afraid. Was he afraid of me? I leave the bar that is in ruins and look around, where the hell did he go? I can't even hear his steps anymore. I take one last look at the bar before I go back to my car. I slip into the drivers seat and I browse through the pictures one last time before I turn off the camera and start driving.

As soon as I get to my rather large apartment, I hurry to the computer and slide the camera's memory card into my computer. I open up the pictures and look at each and every one of them for a moment or two.

~ Baekhyun's POV

I ran. I ran for what felt like hours. I ran until my knees were weak and simply wouldn't carry me anymore. I was far away from the bar, away from the safe house, I'm pretty sure I'm on the other side of town. I fall down to the ground in an alley, next to a fire ladder, hidden from anyone's eyes and ears.

My chest feels like someone is pulling out the air from my lungs and replacing it with cement. I can barely breathe. I curl up into a tiny ball and close my eyes, I feel like crying. My whole body is shaking. I'm scared. I hold my chest and try to catch my breath. Soon enough, tears fill my eyes with a sharp sting and my vision gets blurry. I start sobbing. I'm all alone, there's no one around, no one is there to hold me or tell me soothing things. The ground is cold, and my limbs don't work well. The pressure on my chest grows. I scream out and cry in the alley – my head feels like it's made of air but at the same time it's falling down from the weight. I fall down to the ground and I cry out into the cold night. Not even the moon is shining, leaving me in complete darkness.

I must've passed out. The slowly dripping rain is now waking me up. I rub the dried tears away from my face and slowly got up to a sitting position. I look around with confusion, where the hell am I? I get up on my feet and look around. I walk out of the alley and look around. , I'm lost. These streets don't look familiar. The sun is rising behind me, so right now I'm facing... West? Yes, and the safehouse is... In the north-west part of town, I think. I make a right turn and start walking.

Last night... Last night I went to the bar I burnt down the night before. And I met some there. Che... No wait, Cho... No, Chanyeol? I met Chanyeol. And I ran away, because I had a panic attack, I think. I rub my neck and ruffle my hair, wrapping the jacket tighter around myself. I tap the other pocket and sigh out of relief, when I can feel the outline of my lighter. The buildings are starting to look more and more familiar, and soon I can see the corner store and the mailbox where Sehun, Jongin and I met up two nights ago. The store is still closed, probably because Jongin beat up the owner pretty bad. I speed up my steps and soon the familiar building rises to my horizon. I start running and I reach the house. I take a deep breath. And another one. And a third one before entering.

”Baekhyun!” Jongin squeals and runs to me. He hugs me tight and almost throws us both to the floor. ”J-Jongin”, I mumble and hug him softly. He lets me go and looks at me – he was clearly worried for me. " man, where were you?” he asks and looks me in the eye. He can probably see the redness and the puffiness. ”I don't know. Some alley in the south”, I mumble and look at Sehun, who also looks slightly concerned for me. ”Panic attack?” Sehun asks and shakes his head when I nod. ”C'mon, you need some food”, he says and walks over to his bed. I follow him, and Jongin follows us. We all sit down around Sehun's mattress and he hands me a chocolate bar, which I immediately start to chow down. Holy , I'm hungry. ”You got any water?” I ask and glance at my friends. Sehun throws me a water bottle from the wall.

I start thinking about the mysterious person at the bar from last night. ”Does the name Chanyeol say anything to you?” I ask and Sehun and Jongin look at me with confusion. ”No. Should it?” Jongin speaks up and shuffles a little. I shake my head and crumple up the empty chocolate bar wrapper. I take a huge chug of water and moan with satisfaction. ”I need to go out again. Tonight or tomorrow morning.”

~ Chanyeol's POV

I look at Yifan, who is sitting across me at the table in the break room of the fire station. ”How did it go with Zitao?” I ask him casually. ”Good”, he answers shortly. I look at him with disbelief. ”Good? In other words you ed up and he was amused by you?” I suggest. ”Pretty much”, Yifan says after a short break and takes a sip of his coffee. ”Buuuut, he agreed to spend Valentine's day with me!” he says and looks at me like the huge he is. ”Wow. Big step”, I say with a smirk and drink a little of mine. ”You're the one to talk! When's the last time you got laid or even had coffee with someone?” Yifan asks with a mocking voice. ”Well, I just... I haven't found anyone”, I mumble and rub my neck. My coworker shakes his head and silence falls to the room. There's a long pause. ”You know, maybe it's just because of...”, he says, clearly uncomfortable bringing this up again. He should be. ”No”, I answer immediately and take out my phone to indicate the fact that this conversation is over. But immediately after the subject is brought up, my brain digs up all the painful memories.

My feet that are getting sore from running...
The anger, the fear that grows inside of me...
Worrying, lying awake in the bed where he isn't anymore...

”Yeol?” Yifan asks and I snap awake to look at him. ”I'm awake!” I reply and shake my head a little. ”I'm going to go see if Joonmyun needs any help”, Yifan says quietly and leaves the room. I rub my face and try to forget what happened. I took the weeks off work, I talked to a therapist, I'm over it. I'm fine.

---

A/N: That's the second chapter! Phew, I feel so nervous, this is one of the longest fics I've ever worked on and I just... I... I don't know! It's weird to be writing something after a long break.

The next chapter might take a while, but it'll be worth it. Hopefully...