“Relax, kid, I’m not going to bite you,” Yoongi jokes. The man’s deep voice, as always, leaves Jungkook wondering how true the statement is.

“I swear Namjoon hyung said almost the same thing to me,” Jungkook tells the older man.

“Really? Sounds more like something I would say, to be honest. Anyway, loosen up will ya? If I were gonna kick your , I would have done it the day you told me your reason for leaving Tae. The only ing reason I didn’t was that you begged me to stay close to Tae and protect him. So, I thought your stupidity would only be temporary. I was wrong,” Yoongi deadpans before sticking a toothpick in his mouth.

Yoongi may not have thrown a single punch, but Jungkook feels attacked anyway. He’s about to apologize when the full weight of Yoongi’s words hits him, and he looks up, jaw falling open, almost hitting the metallic table in the throwback, fifties style diner they’re in.

“Wait! You know why I left? I-I told you?”

“Yes, you did, and it’s ing stupid. No, scratch that, you’re ing stupid.”

Jungkook doesn’t argue. He’s one hundred percent sure Yoongi is correct. Hope wells up in his soul only to be immediately squashed as he remembers Taehyung’s rule: he has to remember on his own.

“You’re not gonna tell me, are you?” he asks, already knowing the answer.

“Sorry, Kook, I can’t. Not this time. What I will do is help lead you and maybe fill in some blanks for you. But you, you need to remember on your own,” Yoongi tells him sympathetically.

“I know, hyung. I know. It-it’s just, I want to move on... with Tae, and this, this, my ing stupid past and—, why the don’t I remember him? Just him? Who the hell forgets just one person?”

“Kook, I don’t think you fully grasp the kind of love you and Taehyung shared. It’s that that people make movies and write books about, that fairytale, once in a lifetime crap. You loved him, Jungkook, with your entire being, and then you let him go. I have to believe it was like losing a part of yourself. Maybe this was your way to survive,” Yoongi offers.

“Why a whole year later, hyung? What happened that set me off so bad?”

Yoongi looks at him, opens then closes his mouth.

“You know why, don’t you?” Jungkook asks.

The older man sighs.

“I can’t prove this is it for sure, Kook, but Jimin told me the week before all this began, Taehyung sent you a letter, a goodbye letter of sorts. I’m not sure what was in it, but Jin told Namjoon that while you were floating in and out of consciousness, you kept crying about a letter.”

Jungkook has a flash. It’s quick but clear. He remembers walking through the front door of his apartment with the mail in his hand and dropping it on the table in the foyer when a familiar handwriting catches his eyes and causes his breath to stop. He remembers thinking, Ahh, it finally came. It’s really the end; he missed his chance.

“, , . Oh God, I feel like I’m going to throw up. I remember that. I remember getting that. I remember reading it, and I remember not wanting to feel anything, so I decided to get wasted. What kind of funny karma irony ended me up with Tae’s brother as my doctor? .” Jungkook bemoans his circumstance. He remembers his doctor’s visit with Jin and his trip back home to find the letter. Why did he forget about the letter a second time? He doesn’t tell Yoongi.

“Yah. Why do you continue to curse in front of me? I am your elder.”

“Yeah, the elder who taught me my first curse word and how to drink vodka. I don’t think you have grounds for feeling offended.

“Truth,” Yoongi replies with a grin. “Also, you should be thanking karma for giving you this second chance.”

“I know, hyung, I am. It’s just, I put Tae through so much when we split, then to have this upon him so unexpectedly, I just feel guilty, you know? Then I feel guiltier because I’m so happy when I am around him. A part of me doesn’t want to remember. Because remembering means I have to go back to my life, and Tae goes back to his,” he explains.

“Why do the two have to be mutually exclusive? Why can’t remembering mean you each go back to your lives but together?” Yoongi asks.

“Hyung, you just finished telling me my reason was stupid. Would you take back a person who broke your heart for a stupid reason?”

“When it’s you and Taehyung? Yes. I don’t mean it humorously, either. I believe you two have that kind of love, the kind that overcomes and withstands even your stupidity.”

“Why is it that your compliments feel like burns?” Jungkook jokes.

He’d missed Yoongi as much as he’d missed Namjoon. These hyungs helped raise him, poured a lot of their time and energy into him. It’s nice to sit here and look Yoongi in the face and not feel like he isn’t allowed.

“I missed you, hyung.”

“Missed you, too, brat. You do this idiotic hero thing again and I will most certainly kick your . Heroes don’t leave, Kook. They stay and fight,” Yoongi reminds him.

“I know, hyung, I know. So, about that whole leading me to my memory thing. How do we do that?”

“Well, what do you remember about that day?” Yoongi starts.

“Honestly, nothing. My memories of Taehyung and me are like abstract art. Strange shapes and pieces keep falling out of the sky randomly at odd times, and once they’re together, they will create a masterpiece, but right now it’s just a jumbled, confusing mess,” Jungkook explains.

“I get that. Just tell me what you do know, and I’ll see what I can do to lead you to a path that may help.”

“I know Joonie hyung met Tae first. I know the moment I saw Tae, that was it. No one else would ever do after that. I know I’m the one who walked away. I know that I like the feel of Taehyung’s skin against mine, seriously how is he that soft? He’s a guy, for 's sake.”

“Please stay on track. I do not want to hear that,” Yoongi pleads.

“Oh, sorry, hyung. Basically, I know that I was madly in love with Tae, that I’m still madly in love with Tae, and that I left and asked you guys to stay. What I don’t ing know is why.”

“Okay, this may help. Think about your personality, Kook. What have you always wanted to be? I mean, what’s the driving force behind everything you do?” Yoongi’s question brings an automatic answer.

“The best, I always want to be the best,” he says without hesitation.

“Mmm, it’s why for months after you and Tae got together, and after Namjoon found Jin hyung, you still would be just a weee bit extra in front of Namjoon if he and Taehyung interacted in any way. You wanted Tae to know you were his best choice.”

“I did?” He feels embarrassed.

“Yeah, you did. Don’t sweat it, though. Joonie and I know you.”

“I don’t get what wanting to be the best has to do with me and Tae, though,” Jungkook tells Yoongi.

“I said I was leading, not giving you the keys and the car,” the man informs him again. “Think about where you are now, life wise. What do you do, Jungkook? How old are you?”

He’s twenty-four and the youngest partner at the Law Firm he works for. He remembers the day of his interview when they asked him what his goal was. He sat there, fresh from his bar exam, young and with no experience under his belt and told them he was coming for the President of the company. They laughed it off, but deep down, Jungkook knew he meant it. He doesn’t venture into anything unless he’s willing to give it one hundred and ten percent.

The day they offered him the partnership, they stressed the sacrifices he'd have to make. They asked him to decide what he wanted his future to be and to think about it before giving them a decision. He remembers talking to Namjoon and Yoongi about his fears. Damn this ing amnesia, did he ever speak to Tae? He has no idea. He remembers worrying about a future with Taehyung and what that would mean for his career. But he would never be dumb enough to—no, that can’t be it.

“Hyung, you can’t mean that I chose my career over Tae, can you?” Jungkook questions.

“This is you guessing, right?” Yoongi asks.

Jungkook nods, unable to lie

“Then I can’t answer. The goal is that you remember. It will come, Jungkook, when it’s time. But I can tell you, you’re on the right track. Also, take heart. When I picked you up today, you and Tae didn’t seem like two people who were being held back by an unknown past. You acted like two people who were moving forward toward a new future.” He smiles at Yoongi’s words. He’s been feeling hopeful lately. He doesn’t see pain as often in Taehyung’s eyes. “Maybe remembering isn’t so much for the sake of remembering as it is to make sure you learn from it. Love Taehyung in the now, give him the things he needs now, and as you do that, the past will fill in its missing parts and help you along the way. Maybe the reason you can’t remember is that you’re forcing it. Everything in its time, Jungkook.”

“Wow, you’ve become a wise old fart, haven’t you?”

“The disrespect. I raised you on my back, you punk,” Yoongi reminds him with a fatherly finger wag that makes Jungkook chuckle.

“Hyung, I’m like a good two feet taller than you. How would you even fit me on your back?”

“Run,” Yoongi warns.

Jungkook wastes no time scooting out of the booth, laughing hard as he does. It feels just like old times.

“You seem happy,” Taehyung tells Jungkook as he walks through the door.

The statement catches Jungkook off guard. He pauses for a moment to let the word digest.

“I am. Today felt like old times, being with Yoongi hyung. I didn’t realize how much I missed him and Namjoon hyung. Apart from my parents, they’re the only family I have, you know?” Jungkook muses.

“Why didn’t you keep in touch?” Taehyung asks, so innocently Jungkook gets lost in the question, in the tiny way the man’s voice is almost quiet at the end, in the look of worry that has slowly crept back into Taehyung’s eyes. “After we broke, I-I mean, wh-why didn’t you stay in touch?”

Jungkook is still lost when he answers.

“A