The bar is dark and hushed - like midnight, or the moments just before sleep takes over and everything in your world goes black. But it’s not peaceful, it’s just deafening – to Jungkook the sensation is similar to fingernails scratching along a chalkboard. He’s scared, alone, and brokenhearted.

He ed up, he threw away the best thing he’s ever had.

He’s an idiot.

Yes a world class, A-1, stupid-faced idiot.

The drink burns as it goes down. It always does, but the sting isn’t from the alcohol – it’s because he knows that no matter how much liquor he consumes he’ll never be able to forget the look in Taehyung’s eyes. The pain in his eyes was like poison piercing Jungkook’s soul. Even now, almost a year later, he still feels the pang. He can’t forget the way the tears painted wet streaks down Taehyung’s beautiful features as he asked, “Did you ever love me?”

Jungkook never answered - just stood there stunned, silent, staring -- as Taehyung cried harder, pounding him in chest begging him to answer, to just “say something.”  He didn’t answer when Taehyung fell limp in his arms, tired of fighting, tired of being the only character in their two person act, tired from loving someone who, “Can’t love anything that’s not yourself.” And when the older man finally says, the words that Jungkook was most terrified of hearing, “Let’s break up.” Jungkook still said nothing. 

He ha