- ‘Oooh~~’ ‘Ah-Sto- ‘ Before Sehun could grab it back, Jongin, who’d leaned over to read the caller id with him, snatched the phone away, holding it aloft. ‘OMFGGG Guys!!! Guess who it is~~~’

‘Jongin!!!! You , give it here!!!’

‘Ehh??’ Losing interest in Baekhyun’s, Chanyeol seized the replacement – reading the vibrating screen before hooting himself, chucking it over to Minseok and Baekhyun. ‘Whoa…’ ‘Omg!!! Stacey!!??????’

‘Dude..’

‘Why is she calling you~~’

‘Omg..’

Within seconds, they were clutching themselves laughing so hard they were chortling and choking – or in the case of Chanyeol, snorting out bits of noodle from his nose.

The Chronicle of Sehun’s First Ever Girlfriend was one they were all very familiar with indeed – having seen it through first hand, it had never ceased serving as a source of entertainment all through middle school, and though everyone had forgotten about it lately, the name on Sehun’s phone was enough to have them going again.

It had all started one day during their second year of middle school with Sehun on clean-up duty after classes, when, despite definite rules to the contrary, he’d tipped the paper bin out of the window – their fourth floor classroom overlooked a deserted lot and it was way easier than going all the way to the big dustbins on the other side of the school building. Unfortunately, the wind had whipped up right at the worst point during the Disorderly Descent of the Rubbish, hurtling the screwed up balls of paper, ink-sodden erasers, miscellaneous paint tubes and wadded up chewing gum right into the open walkway that ran around the second floor – and onto the year-older popularly acknowledged ‘hottest chick in school’ Lee Stacey [and the guy who was confessing to her at the time, but he’s irrelevant] [or so leaned Sehun’s opinion, though the guy in question, Kim Jongin, had a different opinion about things] [But as far as Sehun, who’d run all the way down about a hundred staircases like a headless chicken was concerned, it was his own damn fault for ditching clean up and leaving him to do all the work, and he deserved all he’d gotten, and for good measure, he, Sehun, was gonna be walking her home – of course, just so he could keep apologising, cough*cough, so there!!]

From these inauspicious beginnings began a relationship that was as fraught with bad luck and worst decisions as the First Date [which, according to classroom gossip that later emerged, Stacey only agreed to to stop him pestering her]. Vying to impress the older, definitely more experienced, and thoroughly hot Senior Sehun was convinced was the ‘Eternal Love of His Life’, he had sprung for a surprise trip to the newly opened Owl Café. After all, what could get a girl off better than an evening playing with tame owls that cutely perched on your shoulder while you bit into quaintly themed cookies and feather cake, or flew over to eat scraps from your hand when you called their name?? Especially with all the hype surrounding it, and how much he’d had to pay for a reservation...??
Apparently, a lot, when your date has a severe phobia of birds in general, and owls in particular, and the fowls, alarmed at the shriek of fear and unpleasant surprise, decided to do some shrieking of their own, with wing flapping accompaniment…

Then there had been the time the newest edition of  popular movie franchise had come out – and by stint of begging, threatening, hunger striking and generally ‘being obnoxious’ as Baek put it, Sehun had managed to get hold of two tickets, snaring the fair maiden’s hand for the show – and their Second Date. But disaster had struck right on the afternoon of D-day, when Sehun’s godmother had been admitted to the hospital after breaking her hip, and his mom had decided seeing him would cheer her up [though a lifetime with the only contact between them a seemingly inexhaustible collection of books on Manners and Comportment For Young Boys that arrived for him every Christmas, with passages pointedly underlined in red ink, gave Sehun serious doubts about this enterprise]. Unable to wriggle out of it, he had spent hours framing the perfect text, and just as long typing it out just so – cute and polite and suitably grovelling, with innumerable emojis, apologizing and inviting her to a later showing of the movie (she had been pretty hyped about it) that same day…

Only to forget to press ‘send’. The result? The girl who was universally treated like royalty ended up waiting in the pouring rain outside the cinema hall for almost an hour, drenched and cold despite huddling under the awning, while a bunch of idiot college boys passed the time throwing stupid comments and catcalls her way from the other end of the flimsy tarp…..
Even explaining how he’d had his phone switched off out of politeness didn’t stem her fury at his ignoring all her ‘WHR R U!!???’ messages and calls….

The time he’d been walking her home and his backpack spilled open, dropping out a sheaf of…erm… magazines.. [He’d only been carrying them for Baekhyun, they weren’t his AT ALL, but would she listen!!???]

The time he’d given her a lift home from school on the back of the bicycle he’d hurriedly borrowed off of Chanyeol, chivalrous and all Prince Charming-to-the-rescue after she had (very slightly) sprained her ankle at softball - only to end up getting chased for 6 blocks by an over enthusiastic cop, before he crashed them into right into a roadside sandwich cart… (She’d ended up hurting her ankle for real).

The time he’d slipped the wrong envelope in her locker, setting off a prank ‘stink pellet’ right in her face [and left a drippy love letter for Jongin, complete with certain..rather racy bits…]….

The time he’d gone over to her place, a whole month after they’d started dating, and they’d only ended up watching cartoons, with her all the way at the other end of the couch - supplementing his peaking frustration, and leading to the state he’d been in when her dad surprised him in the bathroom he’d forgotten to lock….

The time he’d seen her with her cousin and been convinced she was ‘cheating’ on him – [which claim over her he definitely did not have, she later pointed out, them being in no way exclusive], necessitating loooonngg repetitive whinges to Jongin and Chanyeol and Minseok and even Baek [who mostly just set his phone down somewhere, then went about doing whatever, letting him whine to the ether], despondently mooching about the place threatening he’d shave his head [which wasn’t helped by ChanBaek egging him on whole heartedly] and get a dozen piercings [which even Jongin approved of]; as well as throwing what amounted to tantrums everytime he saw Stacey after that, careening from ignoring her totally and leaving all her casual forwards and tweets unresponded to, to fawning over her being all clingy till she blew up at him out of annoyance,  to yelling and shouting his head off at her over nothing at all….

So besotted had he been with his First Real Life Girlfriend, he was devastated when she’d told him they were done [this inevitable outcome shocking no one but him]; refusing to accept it, he’d taken to following her about for days, apologising, arguing, begging, bargaining…

Matters weren’t helped when, 2 months after their break up, just when he was getting over it, she agreed to go to the school dance with him. A beautiful night, amenable chaperones, soulful music, dim fairy lights and one session of heavy petting in the stairwell behind the gym all contributed to Sehun landing right back in starry eyed, over the moon obsession, and getting over it this time was even harder – not least of all thanks to the total lack of sympathy on the part of his so called friends, who all smugly insisted they’d told him not to even ask her to the dance, and he deserved it…  and that they’d held back on the comic potential of the whole fiasco long enough, it was well past time they spent hours reliving every second of every embarrassing moment and pee themselves with laughter.

Ever since that second – and for real – break up though, they hadn’t exchanged a single word.. and once she graduated middle school, Sehun hadn’t even set eyes on her.. in more’n two years!! Why the hell would she….after all this while… -

Working up to say ‘hello’, desperately praying he’d sound casual – not that he cared for her at all anymore [looking back, he didn’t even think he had at the time, so much as the experience of ‘being in love’], but damn, just the memory of how embarrassing he’d been was so painful to the experienced, urbane ‘playboy’ that he saw himself to be now, it felt like his skin was dying itself a sickly purple, and dry mouthed, Sehun pulled his phone back, his thumb trembling as he pushed the green circle.

☲☲☲

Only –

Just before his finger landed on the screen, a hand snuck down from behind him, quickly swiping the red bobbing orb - cancelling the call!!!

!!??? What the –

Wait –

A long, slender, elegantly graceful hand, the nails sparkling with glittery varnish…..

………..

!!??

‘AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!’ Yelling in shock, Sehun stood up so fast, his chair tottered, before crashing down – but he didn’t care, sticking an accusing finger at the figure standing beside his chair-
who was attempting a nonchalant smile, sticking her – his!! – arms behind her head, flashing a wink at him, as she shook her head at the phone that had slipped from his fingers to clunk on the table. ‘I don’t think you should be talking to her..’

‘YOU !!!! Where the have you been, you – you have some nerve waltzing in here when – Do you even know what TIME it is!!??? When did you even leave, in the middle of the night!!??? Disappearing off all day, on your own, when you can’t eve- Where the hell have you BEEN!????? Don’t you even have the ing COMMON SENSE to at least leave a ing NOTE, you stupid, useless donkey, do you have ANY IDEA how worried I’ve been!!!!!!!! Didn’t it even cross your mind to let me know-wait –‘

Suddenly his snapped down, to look at his phone –

‘wait, huh?? What did you mean I sshouldn’t be talking to her, you don’t even know who that is-

AH!!’

Suddenly realising something even more pressing, he froze, stiffening in place, before….

Slowly….

Raising his head to look at his friends.

Who were all staring at him, flabbergasted.

Open mouthed, stunned shock writ large sized over their faces as they stared at Sehun –

Who had just jumped up..and started yelling…at thin air. Reacting, and talking - to absolutely nothing.

A piece of chicken dropped out of Chanyeol’s gaping mouth to plop squishily onto the table.

Ohh

t.

Ohh ing , there was no way – Sehun clenched his fists helplessly under the table, desperately trying to think of some sort of explanation… ANYTHING AT ALL!! There had to be something I can say to….

Like… like….

Baekhyun gulped audibly, opening his mouth as if to say something, before slowly closing it again, leaving whatever he’d thought of unsaid…

I just came off so insane even BAEKHYUN can’t say anything!!??

C’mon brain, say something!! Ermm….

………………

………..

Yeah, okay, there is NO WAY I can possibly explain this - why I’d suddenly upped and started screaming at empty space, at the in air; there is absolutely nothing I could say that will convince them I am not bat crap crazy.

Jongin’s eyes bulged as he soundlessly demanded elucidation.

COMPLETELY certifiably psychotic.

Dammit he’d totally forgotten – in the shock of seeing Tao – or Taoella, rather, it had totally slipped his mind, the whole ‘Invisibility’ thing, and –

what had he said, even, umm… something about –

‘Se…hun….?’

‘…aggrhmm… the…that is- I me-’ Snapping to, Sehun smiled weakly at Minseok, hoping praying, for some sort of life line, anything that would dig him out of the hole he’d –

‘..Aren’t you… aren’t you gonna introduce us to your friend?’

‘…………. ………………….

…………………………………….

…….

Grmhneehhhhhhhhhh- WHAT!???????!!!!!!!’

‘…your…friend! C’mon..’ Minseok arched his eyebrows meaningfully at….

At….

Definitely at…..

Startled, Sehun grabbed onto Tao’s arm – more to hold himself up, as it were. ‘…this ..friend..????!!???’

‘…erm…yeah!? Jongin flicked his head back and forth from Sehun and the gorgeous brunette, while Baek and Yeol still gaped in shock at the sheer hotness of the unfamiliar bombshell who had draped herself bodily over Sehun.

‘…you…’ Now Sehun was the one with the metronome-ically swivelling head, gasping at his stunned friends and the idiot who was looking inordinately pleased with himself-herself – oohhh whatever!!! ‘you can……see him-er- her!!???’

‘..huh…??’ Even while Jongin frowned, puzzled at him, Baekhyun was already leaning past Sehun, sticking his hand out to the stupid demon. ‘Hey~~’ Cutely, he smiled at her, his lips disappearing sharply into his teeth in carefully executed iness. ‘I’m Baekhyun~~’

‘Hello~~’ Brightly, she slipped her hand into his, titling her head to a side to letting her hair fall silkily down her shoulders, sparking off a bolt of pure concentrated irritation through Sehun as he watched his friends’ eyes widen as they followed its path. ‘I’m – ouch-‘ Snapping back, she glared at Sehun, who had, not very surreptitiously, stamped down on her foot. ‘Taoette. This is ..my friend..Taoette, whom all..of you can ..see? Right..? Right..ermm..’ Letting his voice dribble away, Sehun wrapped his arm around her to grab her elbow, and direct her into the chair Mr Yamamura had run up to place beside his, internally fuming and trying his hardest to ignore the light of challenge that had blossomed in the eyes of all his friends – okay kit, why wasn’t he friends with the chess club or the shogi geeks why the bloody was everyone he knew so darn –

AND THIS IDIOTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE , disappearing all day, then waltzing - WALTZING - in here without even a ‘sorry’ or begging his forgiveness on bended knee like he ought to have, not any sort of explanation, AND WITHOUT THAT ING CONCEAL HE WAS ALWAYS GOING ON ABOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and without a single word of warning about that either!!???

‘So… how do you two know each other~~?’ Chanyeol’s growled question was ostensibly pointed at both of them but in reality directed only at the girl who was now excitedly tracing the characters on her place mat that claimed to predict one’s fortune based on birthdates and star positions.  Jongin had pushed his elbows onto the table, resting on them as though it was purely by accident that the posture made his biceps bulge out, and Minseok had his best cute-hamster meet y-wolf-cub face going on – all of which only served to push Sehun’s anger at the idiot right back round to frustration at the lot of them.

Besides, they all looked utterly ridiculous, look at them, trying to show off, ha!! Tao has already seen all of you, you freaks, he’s been around for aages, plus, and I can’t stress this enough, the only one he’s interested in is me!!!!!

It was with a feeling of unsettling disbelief at his own thoughts – [in his heart, Sehun knew full well that the only reason Tao was so set on him was coz of the whole Wish business, and also coz he hadn’t..well..given in, coz of the challenge he represented – otherwise, it was perfectly clear how easy going he was, if one of these idiots asked him out or whatever, and he thought they’d be even remotely interesting, he’d soo hook up with them, no questions asked, and no thoughts spared on Sehun]- that Sehun leant in possessively trying to place himself between Tao and the others. ‘We met at-‘ ‘the Book-‘ unfortunately, Tao had started replying at the same time – but fortunately, for once he subsided obediently as Sehun pinched his thigh under the table.

‘We met at the…erm mall?? That’s right, the mall!!’

‘……but you said..-‘

‘Oh, no, don’t mind..her, she was reading a book, and I bumped into her, and- ‘

‘Sent me through the wall~~’ Tired of being quiet –well that was a record! Ha, 2 whole seconds shutting up and behaving?? It’s like a whole new person!! – and ignoring Sehun’s sarcastic scowl, Tao leapt in, nodding complacently in agreement with himself.