‘Ah!!’

Tao’s voice suddenly broke out; reverberating with whatever new idiocy had struck him. ‘Wait, I know!!’

It pierced right through Sehun’s campaign of aggressive disregard – having given up in despair of getting the idiot to see just how idiotic he was, Sehun had sworn he was absolutely not speaking to him ever again [‘stupid demon cat that doesn’t even exist, I can’t even see you haaa I can’t even see you or hear you or anything coz you’re not even reeeaalll  diieee’], going so far as to slam back into the bed with his back to the demon, [‘can’t even see yyouuuuu stupidstupid idiot lizard brain] [‘you’re just a figment of my imagination, brainless git doesn’t even know what money is, doesn’t even know you can’t just take people’s important school books with their names and everything on the front and leave them at adult stores you uncivilized stupid headless nutter you even stole those mags, coz you didn’t even pay for them ha! Stupid loser!!!’][‘I bet even SAINTS don’t get tormented like this by creatures from the depths, I better get a friggin crown for putting up with you – not that you even exist ahahaaa, and I’m totally not talking to you assmonkey, or rather, I might be talking to you, but since you don’t even exist that’s the same as talking to myself so I’m just talking to myself, dogbreath, ha ha ha!!][‘ it’s GRAVITY’] [‘ getsomeclothes on nutjob!!’][etc etc] burying his face in the pillow so that he wouldn’t even accidentally catch a glimpse of the figure arranged on the floor in breathtaking dishabille, muttering stage-whispers of ‘no sense’, ‘stupid HOOMAN!!!’, ‘Ha!! If I don’t exist then why are you talking to me, huh huuuhhh?? Huhhhh???? stupid human stupid mudworm’, ‘ARE TOO!! Are too talking to me, Sehun just said ‘I’m not talking to you’, if you’re not then who did you say that too, huuhhhh stupid noisy wallowing-in-mud human thinks things are stuck to the ground with some gravy or something, ha! Then how do birds flyy huuhhh tell me that, tell me that, stupid human’ and ‘I am too wearing clothes – ha!! If I don’t exist then why do I need to wear clothes, huuuhhhh haha – whoops there goes my shir-‘ etc etc

But this last ‘ah’ was different, this ‘wait I know’ held the note of excitement that Sehun had come to know [and fear], and quickly, he sat up, waggling his hand in warning – but the demon had her/his eyes cinched tight, her forehead furrowed in concentration.

Oh no ohno oh ing no.

Panicked [with good reason] at the sight of this idiot that Hell had probably kicked out first chance it got actually cogitating and with that much effort, Sehun reached out to  grab him, shake his annoyance physically into him till he got through -

But right before his hand closed over his/her shoulder, he stopped.

Hesitant...

Coz.. well…

Sure, in his head, he knew it was still just the stupid idiot demon, of course- but…. Well… he looked so much like a girl!!!… He couldn’t just – and honestly, that ing scrap of cloth passing for a shirt, even though he’s forced her – him – to put it back on, it was still so stupidly useless if he put his hand  - even just over her shoulder, he’d definitely feel THINGS – maybe just the end of a clavicle and the ball of her joint, but still THINGS and – of course this Taoette was totally not the hottest person he had ever seen, but she was still totally..well… the second hottest, and even though she was being as ginormous a PAIN as her usual male form, she was still – well.. cute, and kinda.. well… not exactly fragile per se or anything, but still – that – it.

Shaking his head, he settled for scolding. ‘Tao – whatever you’re doing STOP it right NOW! ‘

Snap came the cross reply - ‘Sshh!! Sehun!! Don’t distract me!!

…..kay, let’s see…. Mmmm….

Mmm….

HA~’

With a flourish, she opened her eyes – sparkling green eyes, like a fresh spring leaf unfurling, spraying dew as she twinkled up at him from beneath fire-engine red bangs.

………………….

……….

For a moment, Sehun squeezed his eyes shut – then opened them again, only to see it was true - her hair, that had fallen to her hips in a sheet of black gloss had abruptly receded to bounce at shoulder length in tones of fiery red; her skin, which had retained that slight edge of y tan, was now pure porcelain white, even fairer and more translucent than his own… Her lips had become thinner, and her..chest too, small firm handfuls, reflecting her slender, willowy frame …

She’d managed to change her clothes again, the black skirt that had barely been a belt, the shirt that kept falling off her to reveal bits of lace straight out of a Victoria’s Secret catalogue all vanished to be replaced by a blaring white Tee with a ribbed collar and a knife-pleated skirt that blazed in contrast against her red hair and green eyes, her powdery white legs long and silken as they curved and undulated before fading into lime green ankle socks and sneakers… Even her twitching ears and tail had changed to cover themselves in white.

The result was so diametrically different from the guise he’d put on earlier – but none the less, just as effective.

Only..

‘Well?? Don’t you just feel yourself melting from the inside out for a taste a’ this, Oh Sehunnie babehh~~’

‘………… ……………………nope.’

‘…………………………… ………………………………………………How about if I do this~~..’

‘…….that’s a nice pose, but still no~~’

‘…………………………. ………………………………………… …………………….

…………………………………….

…………………no……w…?’

‘…… Oy!!! Sit properly, don’t do that, it’s not gonna work!!!’

‘…………………………… …………………………

……………………………………………………………………….

………………. aa…….ha… how about….this…?’

‘Now you just look like a red headed octopus.’

‘SSSSEEEEEEEEHHUUUUUUNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

‘Hey, didn’t you want to have some cake?’

‘SEHUUNN!!! THIS IS NO TIME FOR BAKED GOODS!!!!!!!!!

........................ ……………….

Baked……

…………………… ………….. Maybe……

Sehun, Hold on, I really gottit this time!!’

‘..wha-‘

Sehun’s voice was swallowed into a gulp, even before he’d finished his impatient question, almost choking himself to death – which at this point would have been totally welcome, like seriously, how – who – just.. why the HELL –

‘Would you like some cake, Master??’ The blonde girl leant up on her knees so she could hold his eyes even as she bowed her head submissively, for all the world like it would be her greatest pleasure to follow his every.. well… orders.

 ‘If you’d like, I can get you some cake…..or anything else you would care for, I’m yours to command.’ Umber eyes swam with flecks that had to be pure gold, the way they shimmered; easily capturing his breath– this one was much taller than Tao really was [though Sehun was starting to see that that ‘reality’ probably wasn’t such a solid concept after all], all long limbs and fleshy curves and earnest desire; her thighs voluptuous, her s bigger even than the black haired avatar, spilling against upper arms that were themselves full and dimpled… round rosy apple pie cheeks that matched the skin that covered the rest of her body, for all the world like someone had crushed a heap of petals into a bowl of honey,  then poured it all over her…. – and Sehun could easily see all of this, of course, every last detail, thanks to the fact that all she was wearing – was an apron.

☲☲☲

Stupid Sehun!!! Stupid dumbdurjerryfis Sehun human mudworm!!!!! Fuming, Tao kicked a cola can that was lying on the ground, sending it clanging against the pavement, peevishly ignoring Sehun’s glare at another inexplicable occurrence around him courtesy of his invisibleness. Ha!!! Stupid Hoomans and their stupid fyzics and their stsupid stupid heads!!!!!! It wasn’t even like anyone was gonna notice, all of these idiots walking home together were still caught in the grips of the argument that had been ongoing ever since the new Biology teacher had showed up last period, all of them – even Sehun!!!!!!!!!! – enthusiastically laying claim to the y blonde. Ha!!!!! As if!!!!!! Stupid Sehun and stupid Sehun’s friends, they didn’t even have tails! Like anyone would even look at them. Ha, stupid Sehun should just be soo grateful I’m deigning to fulfil his Wish, even though he’s just a stupid human; he should just be totally grateful and just lie there – or stand there, or sit there or kneel there, Tao was totally accommodating – and… and… be grateful!! Instead of acting up like this!!!!!! [Tao wasn’t really clear on what ‘acting up’ meant, but Sehun kept saying that to him, and after careful observation he’s come to understand -  it did not involve flying.]

It had been two days since he’d finally managed to worm the idiot’s wish out of him – ehehe.. what a wish~~ If this was what being Called was like, why in Damnation were all those Wind Clans always complainin’. Imagine getting to totally DO Sehun – imagine actually getting in PAID for it!

Ah…

But he couldn’t be getting all happy about it again, coz it had been two whole ing days and he was no closer…..

Ugh!! Groaning – unmindful of the fact that he was loud enough to have Chanyeol turn around in surprise and squint suspiciously at the boughs overhanging the path for a moment, Tao broke stride to spin about in mid air, lining his face right in front of Sehun’s – to make faces at him, grimacing and twisting his nose and sticking his tongue out in grotesque parodies, like the carefully labelled diagrams in his school books on ‘Terrorizing Humans’. Tao, now a self-proclaimed Advanced Doctorate in Human Studies, felt the outcome was much more desirable than the textbook wide-eyed screams of horror – Sehun had to screw his eyes up to avoid looking at him, yet try and navigate without bumping into trees or benches or the assorted other random rubbish humans persisted in littering their streets with, [when a nicely rushing stream of lava would be so much more aesthetically pleasing] – and all the while, converse normally with his friends and not at all like he’d just had an up close viewing of Tao’s uvula – which he could make swing and grow and tremble and even, if he was feeling particularly Demonic [which right now he totally was], grow a pair of eyeballs and a bizarrely fanged mouth.

He’d tried everything he could think of – he’d cleverly deduced Sehun had some weird hang up about genders [probably another weird Human thing], so he’d gone female for him, and he’d done everything right, like in all the magazines and books and videos [of which he’d managed to accumulate quite a vast collection]. Playing the odds, he’d first gone with the classic long black hair and seductive style that featured in the majority of his treasures. When that didn’t work, he’d quickly tried the red-headed green eyed ‘sporty’ look, mixing together the female leads from five different movies he had particularly enjoyed... and when that too failed to get the reaction he was looking for, he had – in a total honest to Lucifer of absolute genius, gone with a curvaceous golden maid/slave girl wearing nothing  - get this - but an apron!! And that should have totally totally worked right!??!? Like, in what dimension would that not end in a complete KO!?? But, and to this moment he still couldn’t understand how – it hadn’t. Totally nearing the end of his already short tether, he’d pulled out the big guns – severely bunned up auburn hair, spectacles he could ily push up and down his nose, a tightly buttoned up shirt and a short skirt that rode up to reveal a black lace garter – not to mention a couple of books he’d pulled out of thin air, and a nice long thick wooden ruler…. But what happened?? That stupid annoying INGRATE had just run away, hooting!! Next a black leather outfit, which was basically just a corset [and in uncomfortable, by the way] and a loooonng pair of boots with buckles and spikes and 12 inch heels, and – nothing. And he’d even gotten a riding crop!! [It seemed those were actually used on those ‘horse’ animals, but ehehe, the things they could.. alternatively… do with it!! Absolutely no demon could even be half as delightfully depraved as these hoomans!!~~] But yeah, even that had just made that IDIOT trick him into going out of the room – and when he was totally prepared to knock and order 'the prisoner' to open up just like Sehun told him to [apparently, it would ‘set the mood’] what had he found?? That DUMBDUN had actually locked the door after him, refusing to let him in!!!! Well, sure, he could just float back in, but still, it was seriously rude, okay!!! 

Then he’d tried out a punk motorbike chick with blue streaked hair and parts of her pierced you couldn’t even imagine, a pig-tailed school girl with knee socks [but Sehun said that only worked on guys who weren’t actually in high school themselves], a collared dog-girl [Ha!! He’d had to make his tail full and fluffy for that one, and did Sehun even appreciate how difficult that was!? NO!!], a traditionally dressed princess, a middle aged lady in a thinning terry cloth dressing gown who was so ‘milf’ [Ehehe, he was sooo gonna get like, a ing grade 9 on like, the ing S levels in Human Studies when he got back, he was so smart!!!], a totally wasted, spaced out one with white hair and real butterflies and bee stung lips and rouged s…..; figuring maybe more of a good thing was even better, he’d even tried one with three s…. – in short, he had totally tried e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g, and nothing had worked!! That that rin idiot was SO like, ing… ing…. Aarrrrghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!