I in a breath as I stood on the curb.

This is insane. What am I doing here right now?

The building I was standing in front of wasn’t anything crazy or big. In fact, it was the dance hall that I used to attend when I was a lot younger. When my family still had the money to send me there.

It isn’t too late. I can just turn around and tell everyone that it didn’t work out for me. Nobody would know the difference if I left now.

It looked exactly how I remembered it to be – old bricks stacked to form a two storey building. There were still a total of six windows at the front, and the door was still painted an odd shade of green. So why did it feel so different all of a sudden?

Of course, I knew the answer to that question. It was because of what was waiting for me inside. An uncertain future, as my mother had put it. My mother. At the thought of her, my face falls even though my resolve strengthens. She’s half the reason that I’m here – I have to show her that I can do this, that she was wrong about me.

She was also the reason why I’m auditioning with the song I chose. Thinking about it, I know that I’m ready to go. That I can do this. After all, Eun Soo had forced me day in and day out to practice for the past two weeks. That was all the time I had to prepare, which seems pretty short when you say it out loud. But for me, the time couldn’t have stretched out any longer. I had listened to how the notes were sung so many times that it wasn’t even funny, and the amount of time Eun Soo spent helping me with the rap section was insane. I was right to doubt my rapping abilities. Not that I was completely incapable, but I in the beginning I was clueless. I didn’t know how to keep with the beat of the song, or to really ‘rap’ the lyrics. It took quite a while to understand how to not just speak the words.

I watched as a girl slightly younger than myself walked past and entered the building without an ounce of hesitation. I sigh, annoyed at myself. Why was I even thinking about this? Even though I can leave right now, I know that I won’t. We’ve all put in too much effort for me to quit now. I owed it to Eun Soo, if nothing else. For almost the entire two weeks, she stuck by my side and offered any bit of assistance she could. She encouraged me when I became doubtful, and informed me of when a note sounded better or worse as I began to experiment. We had become quite close in that time and I couldn’t disregard all the effort that she has put in. Even Jae Hwa, whose acoustic instrumental I have in my hands, in the form of a CD. He had come to a few practices, offering advice here and there.

I owed it to Joo Won and Ha Na as well. My relationships with them were damaged because of this audition. I was always practicing – I never had time to talk to them. I think, over the two week, that I only spoke to them three or four times. Because of that, I had to do this. I couldn’t let all that practice go down the drain because I’m scared.

Which I am. I’m absolutely terrified of what is going to happen when I walk through that door. I can finally understand how Eun Soo must feel whenever she auditions for her scholarships.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath in. Then I let it out.

It’s now or never, Soo Min. Let’s do this.

With that, I opened my eyes and strode purposefully toward the entrance, filled with newfound confidence.

I had to mentally remind myself that I was in public and couldn’t allow my jaw to drop as I stepped inside my old dance studio, which at the current moment in time seemed to have been completely transformed. It wasn’t as though the place had done any remodelling – the floors were still the same, polished wood and the walls a bright white. The reception room itself didn’t seem to have gotten any bigger or smaller, but somehow it appeared as both had happened as currently the room was in a state of organised chaos.

The room was completely filled with people, and most of them were girls around the same age as me. The others were dressed professionally and looked bored out o their own minds. The former group were all doing different things – warming up their voices, listening to music, stretching their legs and talking to others near them. It was loud, extremely loud in fact. Although no one was being overly noisy by themselves, everybody’s voices were overlapping to the point where my head was starting to hurt.

I threw a look over to those who weren’t speaking, obvious to me now that they were employees and questioned to myself why they looked so unaffected by it. Surely they’d been here for hours and were sick of the noise by now. The auditions had actually begun at 8 in the morning (it was now almost 11) and they must have been here for at least an hour to set up and organise themselves. Catching one of the employees’ gazes, I inwardly cursed and looked away as quickly as I could. Not only was it embarrassing to be caught looking at someone else, I didn’t want to seem like a staring idiot.

After a few seconds of looking around, unsure of what I was supposed to do I found myself standing in front of a table set up near the hallway entrance. The lady who was sitting behind me gave me a smile, but I could tell that it wasn’t genuine. I couldn’t blame her. She quickly handed me a number that was printed onto a sticker and instructed me to put it across the front of my body where it could be easily seen. She then proceeded to hand me a collection of papers which were stapled together, briefly explaining that they were forms that I needed to hand in when I entered my actual audition. She then asked for my full name and recorded it inside a book sitting in front of her. It seemed to be the call list, and it seemed as though I had quite a wait in front of me before I would be called in. I thanked her and retreated to a spare seat near the corner of my room.

I sat myself down and looked at the papers that I held in my hand before realising that I didn’t have anything to record my answers with. I let out a small groan and looked around helplessly. I could always just ask another one of the girls around me for a pen, but the thought made me anxious. I don’t normally talk to people I’m not familiar with. I’ve never been very social, and I feel like if I were to ask for a pen I’d end up coming across as a stuttering idiot.

I suppose I could ask a staff member, but I wouldn’t want to be burdensome. After all, the lady who had handed me the papers needed the pen that she had. I sighed and slumped into my chair slightly. This was ridiculous. I knew that I had to do something though, I couldn’t just walk inside without any of my details filled in, and I certainly couldn’t turn back and leave now.

During my internal debate of who I should ask, a girl approached me. I glanced up and sent a hesitant smile at her, silently asking if she wanted anything. She looked slightly younger than me, perhaps 17. She was pretty, but not drop-dead gorgeous like some of the girls in the room.

She bowed a little in greeting and in confusion I mirrored her actions.

“Sorry,” I begin, “but is there something that you wanted?”

She smiles warmly at me and shakes her head. “I was going to ask you that actually. You looked like you were missing something.”

I nodded at her, and then considered asking whether she had anything that I could use to write with. I frowned a little at the spark of nerves I felt, trying to brush them away. I’ve got nothing to lose.

“Actually, I kind of don’t have anything to write with.” I hold up the paper in my hand and gesture to it. “I have no idea what I’m supposed to do about this now. I was just thinking about asking somebody but….. yeah.” I trailed off.

The girl’s smile widened. “You’re in luck then!” With a slight flourish, she pulled a pen from her pocket. “You can use mine if you want?”

I almost jump at it, but restrain my relief as I thank her. “Really? Thank you so much, I was really worried. I didn’t realise that I would have to fill stuff out.”

She nodded at my words and handed her pen to me. “Is this your first time at something like this?” At my nod she continued. “That’s probably why you look so scared too.”

At my face she let out an airy laugh. “Don’t worry, you look fine. Just a little pale. I was worse at my first audition – I almost threw up. It was a disaster.”

I laugh and rest the papers in my lap against the arm of the chair that I was on. There weren’t any spare tables around, so I’d have to make do.

“Oh, my name is So Mi by the way. I don’t think I mentioned it before.”

I nod at her. “Soo Min.”

I adjust my position so that I can fill in my answers easier. So Mi begins to strike up a conversation with me as I begin to write down the required information. The simple questions make up the first page and I quickly record the answers, simply giving my contact details like my phone number, name and address.

I flip the page and continue as So Mi begins to ramble on about how she struggled to choose a song to sing and I nod and provide comments here and there as I make my way down the page.

Age: 19

Education Level: Currently Grade 3

Any previous performing history? (May include dance, drama, singing or other – please specify):

I decide to just leave that blank. After all, I hadn’t done anything official in the way of performing arts.

Height (Approximation): 164cm

I feel my brows draw up slightly at the odd question, but answer anyways. I suppose that it has some relevance that is unknown to me.

Weight (Approximation): 48kgs

I almost scoff out loud at the question. I guess that it helps to determine a person’s fitness, but surely that isn’t required just for an audition. Reading the confusion on my face, So Mi stops talking about some boy group to put my worries at ease.

“Yeah, the questions are a little weird and well... personal? I don’t know why they need to know it, but they always ask to know. Don’t worry about it. I’m sure that they don’t really-“

She’s cut off when somebody emerges from the hallway and calls out a number over the noise of the room. So Mi’s face brightens straight away. “That’s me!”

I quickly wish her luck as she begins to walk toward the hallway when I remember that I still have her pen. I call out to her to return it, but she waves me off.

“You keep it. I hope you do well, Soo Min.”

With those parting words she disappears into the hallway. Although I go through the rest of sheets quickly and watch the exit for So Mi, I don’t see her come back out.

Saying that I’d be waiting for a while was a drastic understatement. I hadn’t moved from the chair that I first sat in when I came, and after I’d filled in the sheets I was given I had sat back, plugged my earphones into my phone and listened to music as I watched girls come and go for their own auditions. I’d been there now for at least two hours, and it didn’t seem like I’d be going anywhere for a while.

For the past twenty minutes or so I had begun to warm up my voice, quietly doing scales to test myself whilst listening to Come Back Home. I almost didn’t notice when another staff member appeared at the hallway and called out my number. Quickly, I stood up and checked my number before putting my phone away and grabbing the sheets and my CD. I took a deep breath and began to walk toward the entrance of the hallway, feeling the eyes of a few other girls in the room on me. I hesitantly lifted my eyes to meet the employee waiting for me, an older man with greying hair, who in turn gave me a brief, tight lipped smile. It was obvious that he was tired and completely over today’s work.

He said nothing as he lead me down the hall, and the silence made my nerves triple. I began to panic silently as we approached the staircase leading to the upper floor, and had to stop walking for a moment to calm myself down. The employee paused and eyed me as though I was about to have a full scale mental breakdown. I gave a half hearted chuckle which sounded more like a sob and told him that I was fine. He gave me a look but said nothing as he turned and began climbing the stairs. He stopped at the door which leads to one of the practice rooms and I bowed to him respectfully. As I took a deep breath and began turning the doorknob, I heard him murmur good luck to me. I gave another small bow and opened the door. Taking a deep breath in and out I mustered all the courage that I had and walked through it, hearing it close with a quiet clicking sound behind me.

Whatever courage I had managed to gain before walking through the door disappeared as I looked around at the situation surrounding me. I had expected three, maybe four people to be in the room at most but that didn’t seem like the case as I glanced toward the back of the room.  Still looking around but trying not to make it obvious I walked toward the table that was set up at the front of the room and bowed, handing my music and sheets to one o the people who sat behind it. At their request, I stepped back to stand on a piece of black tape on the floor.

In total, there were almost fifteen people in the one room. There were six sat behind the table at front, all of them men, who were obviously the most important people in the room. Then there were two staff members standing next to a camera, which was set up in the corner of the room trained on my figure. The rest were residing at the back of the room, obviously staff to carry out any jobs required by those who are sitting behind the table. I can feel every eye in the room scrutinising my movements, analysing me. I feel strangely like a science project.

I’m brought out of my reverie when one of the men - the one sitting on the far left - begins to talk. He introduces himself as a close friend of SM Entertainment’s CEO, who will be attending the auditions in his place. One by one they take turns in introducing themselves. They all appear to be in the late 30s to 40s, and I struggle to remember both their names and titles. I choose to just focus on their titles.

After they finish going down the line, my nerves have eased slightly. Although all the men who currently sat before me were undoubtedly some of the most important in the company, none of them really stuck out as somebody well known to the public. They were all coordinators and managers. In fact, the only title that I recognised was that of EXO's manager. Or, one of their managers to be precise.

I found it strange that he was present at these auditions. After all, what relevance do these have with EXO? And more importantly, shouldn't he be with EXO? After all, they had just released their new winter album and probably had to promote it. Surely their schedule was more important than attending auditions to become trainees?

I bring myself out of my own thoughts as the first man, the CEO's friend, begins to look through my application sheets, reading through my information. He pauses for a moment when he comes to my address before looking up at me.

"Is this where you are living currently?"

The question rubs me the wrong way, but I try not to show my irritation as I nod. I know that where I live isn't the most desirable area in Seoul, but it isn't as though I live in the slums. Not everyone can be rich and live expensive lives after all. Besides, what relevance does my address really have to this audition? For whatever reason though, the man sends me a doubtful look before continuing on with scanning the pages.

After finishing, he slides the papers to the next person and looks at me directly in my eyes, obviously ready to begin.

"From this point onwards your audition will be filmed. There are a few different reasons for this, but it is mainly so that if you impress us today, your audition can be viewed by others at a later date to help determine whether you deserve a place in SM Entertainment and so that we can see if you can be photographed and filmed well. You can choose to leave now, if you wish not to be filmed but if you decide not to you have to sign this" he lifts a piece of paper sitting in front of him "which basically states that you agree to let us have the rights to the video and SM Entertainment can do what we want with it. Do you understand?"

I nod, his words seeming to make sense.

"Make your decision now." He instructs, and I don't even hesitate to take the pen from my pocket and walk toward the table.

He rotates the paper to face me, and I quickly scan over the contents to ensure that everything he said was true. Satisfied, I signed my name in the required space and stepped back to my mark with a polite smile.

The man nodded and placed the paper that I had just signed on top of my information.

"We will turn the camera on now. When the cameraman gives you a signal, please state your full name, age and what song you have chosen to perform for us. After that, nod and your music will be played through the speakers. This is your one opportunity, so please give it your all. Good luck."

His words brought on a new onslaught of nerves. I gave a hesitant nod and cleared my throat. It was now or never for me - I wasn't going to allow myself to chicken out now.

I turned slightly to watch the cameraman fiddle a little bit with the recorder before stepping back and nodding at me. I took in a deep breath and proceeded to do as I was instructed.

"My name is Park Soo Min, I am 19 years old and I am going to be singing an acoustic cover of Come Back Home by 2NE1."

I bowed slightly at the end, and in another deep breath.

Don't be afraid, Soo Min. You will never see these people again if you embarrass yourself, so try your best. Show them that you don't have to have millions of dollars to be able to sing.

Ending my mini pep talk, I glanced back at the man who had spoken to me and nodded at him. As he turned to signal the staff member standing next to the speakers to play my CD, I snuck a look at the other five men sitting behind the table. They were all looking at me, but half didn't appear to be too invested in my audition. The only one who appeared to actually care was surprisingly the man sitting at the end, EXO's manager. I met his eyes briefly before looking away. Looking at them all only heightened my anxiety.

I hear the first few notes of my song begin to play and I focus on that, listening as the guitar progresses towards my cue to begin singing. I breathe in as I hear it approaching, glancing around the room yet again as I open my mouth to sing the first few lines.

One two three
Neon nareul tteonatjiman
Eodingaeseo neoui sumsoriga deullyeowa

I inwardly cringe at myself for being so nervous. Although it wasn’t horrible, my voice was shaky and I could tell that those in the room weren’t terribly impressed by me. Looking around the room at the bored faces surrounding me, I realised that I had to make myself believe that I was somewhere else if I wanted to do better. Seeing everybody around me like this made me too nervous. So I close my eyes and try to picture something different.

Tto dasi four five six
Ppalgan nunmuri naeryeowa
Nareul andeon neoui hyanggiga geuripda

Strangely enough, I begin to picture my boyfriend and Ha Na. Then Eun Soo and my father. And I can feel myself relaxing, hearing my voice take on the melodic tune that people praise me for. I decide to keep my eyes closed and just go with the music, letting it flow over me and feeling it.

Nareul wihan geora haetdeon neoui mal
Geojitmalcheoreom chagapge doraseotdeon
Neoneun wae
Neoneun wae you’re gone away

Up until now I had been singing softly, but now I let my voice become more powerful and fill the room. I could feel myself smiling.

Come back home
Can you come back home
Chagaun sesang kkeute nal beoriji malgo nae gyeoteuro

Come back home
Can you come back home
Modeun apeumeun dwiro hae
Yeojeonhi neol gidaryeo ireoke
Now you gotta do what you gotta do

I return back to a softer voice for the next verse, letting my notes climb and fall in the right spots.

Amu daedap eomneun niga neomu mipjiman
Gakkeumeun neodu nareul geuriwohalkka yeah

Neo eomneun sigan soge gatyeobeorin nan
Apeul bol suga eobseo neomu duryeowo

Ajikdo motda han manheun naldeuri
Gidarigo isseul geotman gata
Neoneun eodie
Eodie too far away

I went big again for the chorus, holding a few of the notes for a little longer to show my control. On the last line of the chorus I dropped my voice down, preparing for the hardest part of the song.

 Igose yuilhage nameun georagon neoui geurimja

I stumbled a little bit on the first line of the rap, but instead of having a mild panic attack I altered the tempo of my words to get back on the beat, mentally reassuring myself that the room full of people who have careers in the music industy didn’t realise my mistake.

Oeroumbodan geuriumi nal goerophinda
Sone japhil geotman gateun neoui useumsori
Moraeseongcheoreom himeobsi heuteojin sungandeuri
Maeil bam gawicheoreom nal nulleo
Kkumsogeseojocha ne ireumeul tto bulleo
Modeun geol byeonhage haneun sigan apedo byeonhaji annneun geon
Naneun neoui queen, you’re my ruler

I took a deep breath, preparing to go all out for the final chorus. Like I practiced with Eun Soo, I didn’t sing every word in the chorus, instead taking some of the lyrics and belting out the note as if my life depended on it. After all, I may as well go big. I have nothing to lose.

 As I finish my last line, I open my eyes and look around the room. I had almost forgotten that there were people in there with me, but as I looked and saw every face turned toward me and felt all their eyes on me I felt a second wave of anxiety. I didn’t really stop and look at any of the staff around the room and instead turned my attention to the six men behind the tables at the front of the room, trying to read their faces. They all were unreadable though, and I felt my spirits drop a little. I didn’t even get a smile.

Could I have been that bad? Have I really made a fool of myself?

Before my thoughts could lead any further, the man who had been the one speaking during my audition cleared his throat and shared a glance with the other men sitting next to him. Of course, I had no idea what they were trying to communicate to each other; however I was pretty certain that they were sharing with each other how ridiculous they found my audition.

I started to get absorbed in my own thoughts when a voice brought me back to the present.

“Thank you, Park Soo Min. You can leave now. You should about your results in a few weeks time via a letter.”

I bowed in thanks and almost ran to leave the room. This had certainly been an experience that I never want to live through again.

A/N: Chapter 5 is finally up! Woo! Sorry it's taken me a long time, I was supposed to put this up 2 days ago, but the KBS Music Festival was on and it didn't finish til around 1:30am where I live so I forgot (did anybody else watch it?) AND THEN yesterday was New Year's Eve and I had a party so I couldn't do it last night either so I felt really bad. Anyways, Happy 2016 to all of you reading this!

I also wanted to say thanks to those new subscribers (chngkyun, gnomefishy, seaspray, vikimoto0711) and to those who have commented - it means a lot to me to know that people are actually enjoying this story (despite how boring and EXO-less it is right now!)

* Thanks for letting me know about the apartment thing seaspray (it feels really weird typing that as your name :P) I'll make sure to change it as soon as I can.

** Vikimoto0711 (and anyone else who is curious): I'm hoping to introduce EXO, or at least a few of the members into the story really soon - I'm aiming for chapter 7 right now so stay tuned!