They go down the stairs to the kitchen first. Baekhyun doesn't say a word, silently trailing behind Junmyeon; he focuses on his steps and balance, still not sure if he really is as well as he currently feels. The dizziness is gone, but he doesn't trust himself too much, aimin his concentration at every step. Junmyeon is humming under his breath, a tune that sounds somehow familiar, but again, Baekhyun doesn't pay enough attention to it. The carperted stairs are in a colour that Baekhyun would associate with red dry wine; deep and with a complex taste, just the way his older brother likes. The air is cold; cold enough to rise goosebumps all over his sweater-covered arms and to bring up the blue vains on his hands. His fingers are getting numb.

It doesn't get better when they hit the ground floor. The somewhat-warm fabric is gone from under his feet, a hardwood floor greeting him instead. Baekhyun misses the warmth of Chanyeol's sheets and embrace, but he doesn't dare to say a word, still following Junmyeon obediently. He starts playing with his fingers when they're halfway through the hall, voices from the kitchen reaching his ears. His stomach makes an uncomfortable flip once more, but Baekhyun is determinated not to mind it by now.

Jongdae sticks his head out of the kitchen just when Junmyeon is about to make a turn. He supposes the elder is used to it as he only huffs in surprise, gracefully turning his body to avoid colliding with the other. Jongdae doesn't seem to notice.

"Baek! How are you? Are you still sick?"

Baekhyun lets his hands fall limply down his frame. The knot that formed in his tummy loosens a little at Jondae's presence; he lets himself take a deep breath and send a small smile to his best friend. his mind is a mess, a particular uneasiness creeping though the comfort of Jongdae's half-hug doesn't leave like it usually does and it bugs him.

"I'm better, thanks. How's Kyungsoo?"

Jongdae gives him his Cheshire cat grin and tugs him inside the kitchen, warm hand drapped causally around Baekhyun's shoulders.

The room is lively. He spots Yixing fumbling around near the stove, four mugs lined up on the counter to his right. His back is turned to Baekhyun, a red and white balanket thrown around his narrow shoulders. Kyungsoo is by his side, a white mug already hugged to his chest. He's leaning against the counter on Yixing's left, lower back pressed to the light wood. A delicate smile is gracing his face, lips outilining the heart that Baekhyun learnt to love. He's not as pale as Baekhyun has seen him the last time, the healthy glow now back to where it belongs. They're talking silently, Yixing looking at him from over the stove from time to time. A part of Baekhyun breathes in relief.

"Baekhyun-hyung!"

The happy cry shifts his attention to the other side of the space where Jongin in nearly bouncing his way to him. He spots Junmyeon with the corner of his eye, but the older is engrossed in a conversation with Minseok. He's swept off his feet before he manages to read their facial expressions.

Baekhyun let's out a very unmanly squak as he's lifted into the air, a warm body pressed to his front and two strong arms wrapped around his middle. Jongin spins him a few times, seemingly deaf to his pleas to stop. He catches w few fond glances from Minseaok and a sight of Sehun with his phone, hidden in the corner next to the double fridge. Kyungsoo is the only one hurrying to his rescue, but even the reprimending tone of his voice doesn't work on Jongin immediately. Baekhyun is pu down after two more circles.

"I'm not nauseous, but I swear I'll puke on you if you do it again." His warning is met with a cheeky grin.

Kyungsoo slaps the back of Jongin's head for a good measure, but the younger keeps his smile even through the whine that escapes his lips.

Baekhyun wants to smile, but the buzzing distress in his heart keeps the corner of his mouth angled downwards. He can't pinpoint the reason of his restlessness, but the illusion of normality surrounding him is not enough to mask the tension in the room. He moves a little closer to Jongdae as he scans the space once again.

Yixing is smiling fondly at Jongin and Kyungsoo from his spot near the stove, Baekhyun can finally notice the kettle sitting behind him. Junmyeon and Minseok are back to their talk at the far end of the room, not further away than 6 feet from him. He catches Minseok's slight nod before Junmyeon is twisting his neck to look at Baekhyun; his smile is as gentle as always and it does soothe some of Baekhyun's stress away. It reminds him of Sehun's hugs; quite shy, awkward at times, but Baekhyun never dismissed the effort.

Sehun.

Baekhun steps away from Jongdae the moment he remembers about the younger. He shifts his body to his left, where the frigde is pressed to the corner of the room. Sehun is still there, sitting next to it on a chair that was probably stolen from the dining room, with his phone in his hands. The screen is dark, Baekhyun marks as there is no light illuminating the boy's face. Sehun's face is expressionless, the way Baekhyun remembers it from their first metting and he feels at loss. Putting his own hesitation and worries to a side, he makes his way slowly to the taller. 

The room is silent, the chuckles and hushed voices gone, and Baekhyun swallows thickly to clear his throat. His toes are numb by now, the kitchen tiles seem like ice under his skin, but he pushes the thought to the back of his mind, adding to the mess there. It doesn't matter right now, he finds.

"Are you okay, Sehun?"

The said boy looks up at him from his phone and stares a little too long for it to be normal. It doesn't faze the smaller and he waits patently for Sehun to speak about whatever is bothering him. He doesn't miss the way the younger glances behind him, probably to see Junmyeon, but he fights the urge to turn around; his eyes stay fixed on Sehun. The other gazes at him again after a second and not long after, he feels a pair of eyes focusing on his silhouette from the back. He crouches down to seem more approachable and smaller.

"It's just Luhan, we had a fight before you woke up."

Baekhyun connects the dots.

"Is that why he left?"

Sehun breaks their eye contact and lowers his head, fumbling with his phone.

"Yeah. And he doesn't reply to my messages."

Baekhyun heaves a sigh and pats Sehun's knee in what he hopes is a comforting manner.  It'll be okay, he wants to say, he'll be back. His throat clenches painfully. Why doesn he feel like it's his fault?

"Hyung." The call startles him, but he looks up at Sehun again. "You like us, right?" Suddenly, Sehun appears more innocent than Baekhyun has ever seen him. His brown eyes ooze with honesty and uncertainty, lips pressed together and eyebrows high above his eyes. Baekhyun's heart swells. He nods courtly. "And you like me too, even if I'm mean sometimes?"

His eyes sting as he stands up, vision blurring with unshead tears. How can Sehun even question that?

"Sehun." Junmyeon's voice echoes in the room, but Baekhyun ignores it.

"Sehunnie, of course I like you. You are mean sometimes, but I could never like you any less, no matter what you do, okay?" he declares, bending down to look Sehun staright in the eyes. "You can be whatever and do whatever and I'll still like you. So don't worry about it, okay?"

Sehun doesn't say anything, but Baekyun can see his shoulders relaxing. He starightens up, deeming the conversation over, but fingers wrap around his wrist, stopping his from getting away. Sehun's expression is serious.

"Promise?"

Baekhyun feels what weight of the question; as if it's not only about liking Sehun and the rest of their friends. He relized, after a few seconds, that there's more, so much more in it, but it's all hidden in the depth of Sehun's brown eyes. There is no way out of it, he knows. But then, what else can he do, really?

"Of course, I promise."

The ambience s, he feels it in his bones, his veins. The anticipation of his answer dies down and the old tension is back in the matter of seconds, crawling under his skin even before Sehun untagles his fringers from around his bony wrist. Finally, he turns around to find everyone's eyes on him, some curious, some affectionate and some worried. Again, he refuses to think about it.

He shivers and it seems to bring his friends back to earth.

Yixing tugs the blanket off his back and, with his usual angelic smile, he comes closer to Baekhyun and throws it around his shoulders. Baekhyun opens his mouth to prostest, but Yixing clicks his tongue before any sound makes it's way past his lips. He looks at Baekhyun strictly as he rearranges the fabric and ensuring it wouldn't slide off his frame easily. Baekhyun never liked to be babied, but when Yixing gives him another soft smile he decides he could get used to it.

"I made you some tea, you must be cold."

He nods at the words and attempts to turn the corners of his lips up, but the amusement shining in Yixing's eyes says it didn't work as well as he hoped it would.

His shoulders tense up again for no aparent reason. It's troubling.

Jongdae is next to him in a blink of an eye. His hand lands between Baekhyun's shoulder blades and slowly draws comforting cricles on his back. Kyungsoo leans against the counter again, eyes fixed on Baekhyun, and Baekhyun turns to hide his face in Jongdae's neck to escpae the attention. His stomach turns and his head pounds, but it's not pain. He recognizes the the feeling; the chaos in his mind, and fast beating of his heart and the lump in his throat. It's fear.

"I'm scared." he whispers into Jongdae's skin, hands shaking when he reaches to hold onto the balnket around him.

Jongdae let's out a silent sigh and wraps his arms around him, one hand travelling up to caress his hair.

"Why are you scared?" Baekhyun murmurs an authomatic 'I don't know' back and Jongdae holds his tighter. It doesn't help. "I'm here, Baek. I'm your best friend, you don't have to be scared of anything when I'm with you."

The scent of Jongdae's favourite citrus soap. The wamth of his skin. The soft whisper of his words next to Baekhyun's ear. His breath against Baekhyun's skin. Baekhyun breathes in. The smell of the lavender laundry detergent Kyungsoo buys for them. Baekhyun's head is full.

"Chanyeol is upstairs, do you want me to go and get him?"

"It's okay, Jongdae." Junmyeon's voice cuts in, albeit gently. "I need to talk with Baekhyun first, we'll join Chanyeol as soon as we're done."

Jongdae moves away with one last sqeeze on Baekhyun's body and Baekhyun feels bare. Before he can say anything, Junmyeon is already passing him a green mug of warm tea. The fruity aroma tickes his nose and chases out the remains of Jongdae's scent. He shivers again. The porcelain is a little too hot for his freezing fingers, but he ignores the sting, hoping it goes away as his skins warms up. Junmyeon smiles at him.

"Let's go, okay?"

Baekhyun agrees, feeling stripped out of any other options.

He pads silently behind Junmyeon down the hall, already feeling the lack of any other company. He doesn't feel threatened by the older, not at all, but the presence of Jongdae and the rest kept the worrisome thoughts away. He's upset about leaving Chanyeol alone when he shoudn't be, troubled with Sehun and Luhan's fight and a little alarmed by the reason why Junmyeon wants to talk to him. And as per usual, Chanyeol is the priority. His lover seemed concerened and bothered when Junmyeon apperaed, enough for the feelings to leave a mark on Baekhyun's own. He imagines what the taller might be doing now. Is he just standing in front of his window, like he does when he's worried about his exams? Is he strumming his guitar mindlessly, similar to when he has a fight with Yifan? Or maybe he's doodling in the sketchbook he never lets Baekhyun see, the one he treats as a diary of sort? Baekhyun is not sure, it's unsettling. And what about Sehun and Luhan, he wonders as Junmyeon leads him into the part of the house he's never been to, the halls with guest bedroom at the ground floor. The two never fought, at least Baekhyun's never heard of it. He doesn't really care about the reason, he realizes, he just wants them to make up fast. Seeing Sehun as empty as he looked in the kitchen breaks Baekhyun's heart. The younger should be throwing sarcastic comments, not sulking in the corner. Baekhyun regrets not saying more, doing more, to lift his spirit up.

Junmyeon stops in front of a door that Baekhyun assumes is another guest bedroom. He hugs his mug closer to his chest and gathers enough courage to look at the older's face.

Junmyeon welcomes the attention with a benign smile. His eyes are calm, somewhat proud, contrary to Baekhyun's own that are uncertain more than anything. He catches the movement of Junmyeon's hand as he reaches for the doorknob and twists it open, pushing the door open. Fear bubbles in Baekhyun's blood.

It's dark.

The outline of the stairs leanding down is all he can see and even if ever fiber in his body begs him to turn around and run, he takes a few steps closer when Junmyeon urges him to go first. His thighs are shaking, one hand sliding down the wall next to him, searching any kind of support, but there's none. The steps are covered in dark carper, probably the same wine colour as the ones leading to the first floor; Baekhyun can't tell. The darkness suffosticates him as he's taking slow, slow strides, always making sure the next step is under his foot before cautiously shifting his weight. He's not sure if it's fear of anticipation of the unknown that shrinks his throat, forcing him to take small and fast inhales, but he doesn't have time to wonder. Heart hammering in his chest, he clings onto his tea, helplessly looking for comfort. 

"I'm sorry if it's too dark, we don't really use this space much these days and no one bothered to fix the lamp."

Baekhyun ponders how Junmyeon can be so relaxed when he, himself, is ready to turn around and bolt any second. 

The steps end suddenly and if not for the attention Baekhyun paid to his every step, he'd fall. The carpet doesn't change into hardwood floor and Baekhyun is thankful; the fabric feels much more comfortable under his bare feet than the cold and uninviting wood. He moves a little forward and before he can reach his hand to check if there's nothing in front of him, the room is lit up by two laps hanging freely from the ceiling. The room seems cozy, just like the rest of the house; carpeted with deep burgundy floor covering and walls painted gold. There are two back couches moved from the center of the space, one on his left and one on his right, both equally inviting, but not enough to make him want to stay. Baekhyun halts his steps.

Right on the wall in front of him are three doors, each ostensibly made of steel, distanced equally from one another and stretching all over the surface. The metalic exterior screams of coldness and it nearly reaches Baekhyun's bones, sending a chill down his spine. Every one of them has a small window, rimmed with another layer of shining steel, glass reflecting the light from the lamps. The other side is dark; curiosity sparks in his mind, twisting his already fear-shrunk stomach with anticipation and incitement. The roller-coaster of emotions tires him.

Junmyeon walks past him as if nothing is out of ordinary, giving him no explanation even when Baekhyun is sure his shock was not left unnoticed. He focuses momentarily on Junmyeon's back as the older calmly stalk over to the couch on his left. The other doesn't seem bothered by the elephant (or three) in the room as he lowers himself, forever gracefully, onto the soft cusions. He takes his time straightening his pants and adjusting the sleeves of his white sweater before finally, finally, looking at Baekhyun.

"The questions that I didn't want you to voice out, I'll answer them now." he announces, tone gentle and matching the smile adoring his face.

Baekhyun stops breathing for a second. 

Junmyeon waits patiently as the chaos in his head is let loose, thoughts and feelings unleashed after many months of constant wonder. He wants to know everything, he thinks, making his hesitant way to sit on the couch opposite to Junmyeon's spot. He doesn't let his eyes wonder from the older, silently checking if Junmyeon won't suddenly start laughing and shoo him away with even more ambivalence than he had before. The elder's face, however, keeps it's welcoming expression that Baekhyun remembers from their first meeting. It's only when his bottom touches the seat that he can grasp the meaning of words flying in his mind.

"What- H-how are you.."

Words are Baekhyun's speciality; he loves them, interprets them, adores them. Trapped in the world of many idioms, synonyms and structures sice he remembers, he's never had problems with expressing himself. 

Until now, that is.

He opens and closes his mouth embarrassingly, all too similar to a fish tugged out of water. Junmyeon chuckles. Baekhyun's head spins.

"Let's start from the beginning, shall we?" Baekhyun nods, gathering his self-control at last. "When did you first meet Chanyeol, Baekhyun?"

The question catches his off guard. Isn't it obvious?

"We go to the same college, I saw him and talked to him a few times before we started dating."

Junmyeon smiles wider and leans forward, back detaching from the back of the furniture. His eyes have a particular glint into them, Baekhyun is not sure if he likes it.

"No, Baek. I mean when did you really meet him?" Junmyeon presses, even though Baekhyun is quite sure his eyes are as confused as the previous time.

"I just told you, we go to the sa-"

It hits him. This is not what Junmyeon is asking. Baekhyun never tears his eyes off the other as he slowly fits the pieces of puzzle together. 

He may have talked to Chany