It takes Kai a whole hour of self-conflict, mental struggle and emotional stress dwelling over the heated argument he’s just gone through, but only 5 minutes to self-declare he’s been invited to Taemin’s house; driving down 10 minutes without a phone call for information and only doing so when he’s parked his car on the curb at the nearest lot opposite Taemin’s apartment.

In the moment of numbness over everything, he almost forgets the reason why he even left his house in the first place, until he spotted Baekhyun’s lip balm in the glove compartment in an attempt to pass some time. He grits his teeth hard, once again feeling his blood boil and slams his palm against the steering wheel—he’s this close to scaring the animals nearby less by pressing the horn on accident.

It feels like 10 minutes of being in his car, suffocating in the stuffy atmosphere but he knows better. It’s probably only been 3 minutes, and he doesn’t think he’s able to handle patience and fury on the same page any longer.

He unplugs his phone from the cable connected to the car’s radio system and immediately speed dials Taemin, in case of emergency—also known as the present.

Three rings. He counts each ring before he hears Taemin voice break through from the other line.

“Hey Taem, can I come over?”

“Kai?” There’s a beat of silence, and Kai’s nervous for some reason but for the most, he’s just infuriated and annoyed. He’s just glad reluctance isn’t incorporated in the quietness. “Sure. What’s up?”

“Open the door then, I’m right outside,” Kai digs his hand deep into the pocket of his black jeans, and bites back a cuss at the friction caused as he hears Taemin shuffle in movement from the other line. “I gotta talk to you just for a minute, something happened earlier and I’ll be dead if I don’t confide in somebody who understands my relationship.”

“Right,” Taemin lets out a huff. “Okay, let’s end the call. I’m reaching the door.”

Kai pushes himself on the tip of his toes, then rocks himself back on his heels and it repeats just twice before Taemin’s door flies open to reveal the owner himself in complete casual wear—something Kai hasn’t seen for a while if he has to admit. “I don’t have to go in, I just gotta vent.”

“Shut up, Kai,” Taemin sighs, stepping aside with the full intention of letting the mentioned male in. “I’m in the middle of revision, just so you know.”

“Earlier on, Baekhyun and I fell out...” The words come out of Kai’s mouth quiet and hesitant, almost like he doesn’t even want to mention it but he has to even if it’s true. “We just finished ing then, so we had a little chat about some stuff and all of a sudden he just decided to leave and I didn’t wanna let him go so we started arguing and finally, he asked why he couldn’t go and I told him it’s because he’s never left and then he said... it’s because I’ve always been the one who left first.”

“See, that’s the thing about you,” Taemin pulls his lips into a thin line. It almost sounded like he had only listened to a selection of words. “You make making love sound like you don’t give a single about who you’re doing it with. You play it off sounding like it’s something so casual, and... well, simply speaking, for someone who has Baekhyun as a boyfriend for almost three years now, it still surprises me how much actual knowledge you lack about your own partner.”

“Of course it matters!” Kai retorts. “I’m not Jongin, okay? I don’t often bother being romantic at all, I don’t beat around the bush and try to make my boyfriend happy with cute words for the sake of it—I speak my mind. I’m direct. I know it seems like I don’t care about who I but when I’m with the right person—”

“Baekhyun doesn’t deserve you, you know.”

“, I know that!” Kai yells aggressively, fingers clutching the hem of his jacket so they don’t move unnecessarily in circles in the air. “But I just…” He heaves a resigned sigh and slumps in his seat. “I love him... you know that. We’ve never fallen out this way, ever, I don’t know what to do right now—like something’s being hidden from me.”

“I wasn’t expecting anything more from you, honestly. Kai, you seriously at this whole relationship thing,” Taemin admits with an amused chuckle, and usually Kai would respond with a pout or something equally dumb to be playful but right now, he just can’t find the motivation to be happy. He knows he’s ed.

Yet, it probably more, knowing that Taemin thinks this way about him. He doesn’t even have to wonder about what Jongin thinks, he knows it wouldn’t even be anywhere near Taemin’s negative thoughts. All these years that they’ve been brothers in this life, Kai’s always respected Jongin for being the older twin, hence his opinion often matters the most whenever Kai turns to him for advice. And in spite of their excellent academic results, it’s obvious who has better morals and who doesn’t. It’s ironic, especially for Kai to admit himself, but he loves studying and yet he really hates no fun.

Maybe that’s why the humble girls always fell for Jongin, and the always went for Kai. But it’s not like any of them mattered when both brothers were gay.

“So that’s why you chose Jongin, huh?” Kai mutters mindlessly, gaze falling onto his lap because the shame seeping into his veins can’t keep his head held high. “I just wasn’t good enough.”

“What? No! You got it wrong, I just... Jongin’s my type of guy. Although I’m completely fine with guys like you, I prefer guys like him. There’s just no better way of putting this out, you know? You’re good enough, Kai. You just... gotta take your relationship, Baekhyun, more serious. Cut that I’m-okay-with-ing-someone-else crap because that’s the first step.”

“Baekhyun doesn’t object to that!” Kai retorts without a second thought, instinctively leaning forward determinedly. “I love him!”

“And he loves you more.”

“Shut up, Taemin,” Kai growls. He knows. He doesn’t need to be reminded, especially not when it’s going to make his chest hurt. “Quit it.”

“So you quit it first,” Taemin deadpans. “I’m so done with you.”

“So teach me how to! I’m willing to reach extreme measures,” Kai draws in a breath. “As long as it works out.”

”I’ll try my best tomorrow,” Taemin outstretches both arms in the air and twists his body in a flexible angle, shirt rising up slightly and flashing smooth skin that tempts Jongin to just reach out... Feel it. The older male stifles a yawn in the middle of a stretch before dropping his arms instantly, and snapping Kai out of his world. “If it doesn’t work out—”

Kai doesn’t know why it happens. How it happens. Hell, even when it happens, but when he believes he’s reaching out to cup Taemin’s jinx of a mouth, it turns out his lips did the job instead. And he's surprised by himself, but even more surprised by Taemin’s calm response... Complete polar opposites of what he’d initially expected years ago if by chance he does it one day.

“Looks like you’ve finally got this,” Taemin gestures coolly, face unchanged even after Kai pulls back hurriedly. “This, me, for just one day.”

Even if it turned out to be an accident, Kai carefully reconsiders his next choice of words. “It’s... Begun?”

“You tell me,” Taemin chuckles tiredly, rising from the sofa and leaving Kai trying unbelievably hard to control himself with his eyes glued to the moving figure before him.

It probably has.