Reset (chapter 17): Tale of The Little Mermaid

A/n: okay, I’m just obsessed with fairy tales these days XD and in the book I read, it has a re~ally good illustration about when the little mermaid turned into sea foam that it became my favorite illustration of the book. And somehow, the little mermaid’s expression when she turned into sea foam has inspired me to write this chapter XD

*the text in italic are flashbacks

Leeteuk takes a deep breath before turning around. She was about to say something, but failed when she recognizes that person’s face. “Chullie?” She asks when she notices.

Heechul stares at her with wide eyes opened. “Teukie?”

There’s a moment of silent as both of them tries to think of the conclusion. Leeteuk coughs. “So you’re… Yesung’s stepmother?”

“And you’re… Yesung’s mother?”

Leeteuk nods. “But… I thought your son’s name is Kyuhyun?” She asks. “And he’s not adopted?”

“I adopted Yesung when he was 12 to be Kyuhyun’s playmate” Heechul said. “I… I never expected that the son you’re looking for was Yesung”

“And I never expected you to be Yesung’s stepmother” Leeteuk said. “What a small world…”

Heechul fell silent. This situation just confuses her even more. She doesn’t want to lose Yesung. She loves him just like her real son. On the other side, she knows how Leeteuk suffers because of losing her son. And it’d be really selfish if she kept Yesung for herself.

“So… how is he doing?”

“Huh?”

“Yesung-ie. How is he doing?” Leeteuk asks, repeating her question. The thing she has been thinking about these past few years.

Heechul forces a smile. “He’s doing really well” she said. “He has a girlfriend, and planning to propose her really soon, and he adopted a child”

“A child?”

“A cute 5 years old girl named Tae Hee” Heechul said. “He said she reminds him of his childhood a lot”

Leeteuk felt guilty as she heard that. “That must be because of me” she said. “His girlfriend, is she a good girl?”

Heechul nods. “Yes, and she’s very pretty too” she said. “And he’s working as a pilot now”

Leeteuk smiles. “Just like his father”

“Yeah. He keeps on mentioning how he wants to be just like his father” Heechul said. “But… I never know that it’s your husband”

“Did he tell you how I left him?”

“He said you left him when he was 3” Heechul said. “Because you’re unable to send him to school”

Leeteuk sighs in relieve. “I’m glad he haven’t find out the real reason”

“Real reason?”

Leeteuk stares at the window. “It’s not 100% like how he told you” she said. “He was telling it in his point of view. He was telling it according to my lies”

“Your lies?”

“It all started a lot of years ago” Leeteuk said. “when there’s just me, Yesung-ie, Jongjin, and my husband. And we’re happy”

Heechul stares at her while listening to her story.

“Untill that one day, when he said something weird” Leeteuk said. She closes her eyes as the flashback starts in her mind. As if she’s going back to that time.

~~~***~~~

“Teukie” Kangin said as he stares at Yesung and Jongjin who is currently playing on their garden. “I think a lot of time has passed. I’m getting old”

Leeteuk laughs. “You’re only 32. What old?”

Kangin smiles at her. “You see, Yesung-ie is a big boy now” he said. “I’m sure he can protect you and Jongjin now”

“Honey, he’s only three” Leeteuk said. “Besides, why would he protect us? You’re the one who will be protecting us. Me, Yesung-ie, and Jongjin”

Kangin sighs. He stares right into his eyes. “Teukie, you know I won’t be here forever, right?”

“What do you mean?”

“My job is dangerous” Kangin said. “I need to put other people’s safety before mine”

“So what?” Leeteuk asks. “You’re a professional pilot. You will never mess up”

“I know, but just in case—“ Kangin stops talking when he notices Leeteuk frowning at him.

“What happened? You never talked like this before” she said. “I hate this topic. It’s as if you’re going to leave us”

“I will, one day” Kangin said. “It’s something I can’t deny”

“But… it’s not going to be soon” Leeteuk said. “Or are you planning on doing something stupid on your flight this afternoon?”

“No, of course” Kangin said. “I wouldn’t do something like that. If I wanted to die, why don’t I just die by myself instead of dragging my innocent passengers?”

“Then why?”

Kangin holds her hand. He rubs her palm with his thumb. “I just… I realized there’s nothing that last forever” he said. “Except for my love for you and our kids”

Leeteuk laughs. “Is that supposed to be a pick up line?”

“Maybe?” Kangin asks. He laughs. “Anyway, Teukie, when I’m gone, you need to stay strong. You need to show our kids that they will do just fine. Let them grow up nicely. Don’t ever let them choose the wrong path”

Leeteuk was about to say something when Yesung and Jongjin approached them.

“Jinnie, you lost! I reached Umma and Appa first!” Yesung said. His way of talking was still a bit messy since he’s just a kid.

While Jongjin just frowns as he mumbles some words.

Kangin laughs. He gets Yesung and puts him on his lap. “Yesung-ie, your brother is just 2 years old, and he can’t speak yet” he said. “Of course he will lose to you”

Yesung pouts. “But Jinnie’s the one who asked for this race!”

Kangin laughs. He pinches his nose gently. “What punishment did Pinocchio got for lying?”

“Fine, fine, I was the one who asked for the race”

Leeteuk laughs. “Make a more reasonable lie next time, Yesung-ie” she said as she carries Jongjin on her arms.

“Yesung-ie, you’re a big boy now, right?”

Yesung nods. “Of course! Can’t you see how I’m protecting Umma and Jinnie?”

Leeteuk laughs. “Yeah, right, you protected me” she said. “Especially on dark nights, when it’s raining”

“Aish, Umma, stop talking about that one!” Yesung said. “It was real creepy. I swear there’s a monster under my bed!”

Kangin just laughs upon hearing their conversation. “You need to protect your mom and your brother while I’m gone, okay?”

Yesung nods. “Of course! I will be just like you!”

Kangin smiles at him. “Good. Now, let’s take a family picture”

“Family picture? All of a sudden?” Leeteuk asks.

Kangin nods. “I’m just in the mood for it”

Leeteuk smiles. “You’re weird”

“Weird, but you love me, right?”

Leeteuk laughs softly. “You know my weakness”

Kangin stares right into her eyes. “I love you” he said. “Forever and ever” he adds before pulling her into a long, deep kiss.

While Yesung just stares at them with wide eyes opened as he covers his brother’s eyes.

Little did they know that this is the last time they will ever be happy.

 

~~~****~~~

 

Ryeowook was shocked when she met Yesung right in front of the hospital.

She haven’t met him since that accident last week. Where she accidentally said that out loud

Well, but at least she should’ve expected meeting him here, right? However he’s Kyuhyun’s brother.

“Why… are you here?” Both of them asked in unison.

There’s a moment of silent. “You first” they said in unison—again.

“No, you first” Ryeowook said.

“No, ladies first” Yesung said.

Ryeowook coughs. “Why… are you here? I mean, why are you here wearing your uniform?” She asks. “You’re taking some days off, right?”

“Oh, this?” Yesung asks. He laughs awkwardly. “The company called me”

‘Oh no’ Ryeowook thought as she understand what he meant. “Why?” She asks.

“Well, apparently, some of my colleagues who heard what you said that day were gossiping about it” he said. “It became such a huge gossip in our company that everyone we're talking about it. And… unfortunately, our boss heard it”

‘I ruined his career’ Ryeowook thought. She bites her lower lip. “So?”

Yesung smiles at her. “Hey, don’t look at me like that. I’m not fired. They will never fire me” he said. “They just gave me a small punishment for ‘breaking company’s image’” he said as he made a quotation mark using his hands.

“Small punishment?”

“They don’t allow me to go on a flight for a month” Yesung said. “It’s fine though. I consider it as healing time”

“I’m sorry” Ryeowook said as she looks down on the floor, unable to create an eye contact with him. “It’s all because of me. I ruined your career”

“Why sorry?” Yesung asks. “Wookie, you didn’t ruin anything. It’s fine, really”

“No, it’s not fine” Ryeowook said. “I know how much you worked hard for your position. And now, I just ruin it”

“Wookie, look at me”

Ryeowook didn’t look at him.

“Look at me”

She finally looked up right into his eyes. “Why?”

“It’s fine, really” Yesung said. “I don’t mind. I mean, it’s just a month, not a year. What I did was even worse than that. I hurt my brother for years”

“But you’re forgiven. It’s not really your fault”

“Just because I’m forgiven doesn’t mean I don’t need a punishment” Yesung said. “What I did was really bad. And this punishment, I deserved it. Maybe this is my punishment for not being able to say no. It’s fine, really”

There’s a moment of silent. “Aren’t you… aren’t you mad at me?” Ryeowook asks.

“No. why would I?”

“Because… I ruined everything” Ryeowook said. “And for keeping you wait”

Yesung laughs. “I’m not” he said. “I thought you’re mad at me”

“Me? Why?”

“For not understanding you” Yesung said. “I’m sorry, Wookie. I’ll wait for 10 years, 20 years, or even 30 years, I’ll still wait for you to be ready”.

 “We’re going to be really old in 30 years”

Yesung laughs. “It’s fine, because I love you. I don’t care even if you’re old”

Ryeowook blushes. “Cheesy”

“So… are we good now?”

Ryeowook nods. “We’re good”

“Anyway, are you here to visit him?”

“Him?”

“Kyuhyun”

Ryeowook nods. “I haven’t really visited him since he’s awake”

Yesung pouts. “You haven’t contacted me for a week, and will never contact me if we don’t meet here, but you came to visit him?” He asks. “I’m jealous”

Ryeowook laughs. “He’s a past” she said. “He’s just a friend now”

“Anyway, you better not disturb him now” Yesung said. “He’s asleep. The doctor told him to rest”

Ryeowook stares at him suspiciously. “You’re not lying, are you?”

Yesung shrugs. “Why would I?” He asks. She embraces her shoulder. “Let’s go. I haven’t eat breakfast yet. I’m hungry” he adds as he drags her with him.

Ryeowook bites her lower lip. This ‘I’m really fine’ Yesung is really making her feel guilty.

~~~***~~~

“So… I guess, the rest of the story is the same as what Yesung told me?” Heechul asks Leeteuk who is still trying to hold back her tears after telling her story.

“Half yes, and half no” Leeteuk said. “I never wanted to let any of my sons go, especially after Kangin left”

“But why did you left Yesung there?”

Leeteuk takes a deep breath as she took a picture out from her bag. Their last family picture. “Kangin’s last words” she said as she stares at the picture. “Don’t ever let them choose the wrong path”

Heechul stares at her confusedly. There’s so much about Leeteuk that she doesn’t know. And they have been friends for years. “Wrong path?”

Leeteuk stares at her right in the eye. “Chullie, somehow, I’m relieved that you’re the one who adopted Yesung-ie” she said. “You drove him to the right path. Which is something I can’t do if I insist he must stay with me”

“What happened?”

“I bet Yesung-ie told you about how I used to work at lots of places, including nightclubs, right?” Leeteuk said. “I have no choice. All I did was just cleaning, and serving drinks, but the salary per hour was counted as more than enough for the three of us, and they even provided us a shelter which is so usefull since we can no longer stay in our house because we can’t pay for the taxes”

“You didn’t do something stupid right?” Heechul asks. “Like, um… you know”

“Of course not!” Leeteuk said. “I always tried to be the best mother for both Yesung-ie and Jinnie”

“Then what wrong path?”

“You know, there’s a saying that it’s impossible for a bunch of ants to gather around if there’s no sugar” Leeteuk said. Her voice sounded cold with a mixture of anger and regret in it. “There won’t be kindness without a cause” she adds before she continues her story.

~~~***~~~

 

Leeteuk was currently looking at her sons’ sleeping faces while smiling. She just got back from work, and it’s another tiring night. A lot of people were trying to disturb here at the bar earlier, as usual. But of course, she can regain her strength back as she stares at her sons. They are her strength, her power, the same time her weakness. They’re her everything.

She was about to turn off the lights and join her sons in dreamland when suddenly someone barged in.

It was Junwon, the owner of the bar she’s working at.

Leeteuk quickly stands up and bows at him. “Mr. Moon, what are you doing here at such late night?” She asks. “Or am I disturbing you? I’m sorry. I will quickly turn of the lights”

Junwon laughs. “Why turn of the lights?” He asks. “No need, you’re not disturbing at all”

“Oh… okay” Leeteuk said. “Anyway, Mr. Moon, can you lower down your voice a bit? My sons are sleeping”

Junwon flashes a smirk as he walks closer towards her. “You can just call me Junwon” he whispers right into her ears.

“Okay… Junwon-ssi” Leeteuk said. “Y-you’re too close”

Junwon laughs—again. He holds her chin. “Oh my, Teukie, have I told you that you’re so beautiful? How come you already have two kids?”

Leeteuk hates this. Junwon is no different from those guys at the bar. He’s just trying to get her in his bed. “T-thank you” she said awkwardly. However, this guy is his boss.

Junwon leaned his face towards hers, leaving a really short distance between them. “I have a good deal for you”

Leeteuk didn’t say anything. She looked away, avoiding him.

Junwon holds her chin again, forcing her to look at him. “Stop playing hard to get, Teukie, I know you want me too”

“Stop being such a jerk, Junwon-ssi” Leeteuk said in a clearly annoyed tone.

Junwon laughs. “You’re playing hard to get again” he said. “Okay, back to the deal” he adds as he stares right into her eyes. “I’ll make sure you’ll never set your feet in this place again. Instead, I’ll let you and your kids stay at my house. I’ll even send your kids to school. In one condition”

Leeteuk knows what will happen next. She holds her breath just by the thought of it.

“You just need to lay on my bed, I’ll do the rest for you” Junwon whispers to her ears.

Leeteuk pushes him away. “You’re disgusting, Moon Junwon” she hissed.

“Stop playing hard to get, wil you?” Junwon asks. “You’re a widow, you’ve got nothing to lose”

Leeteuk shook her head. “No. I have something to lose” she said. “I have my pride. And I have my kids. I will always be a good mother to them”

Junwon just snickers. He walks towards the bed, where Yesung and Jongjin is sleeping. He caresses Yesung’s cheeks, making him shift a bit. “So, I guess he’s your first born son?” He asks. “What’s his name?”

“Junwon, don’t you dare lay a single finger on him”

“Ah, Yesung” Junwon said, ignoring her. “I remember you calling him that”

“What do you want from him?”

“He’s handsome” Junwon said. “I bet if one day he works as a host here, he will make lots of money”

“Junwon, he’s just three” Leeteuk said. “I’m not selling him to you”

“Three? There’s only twelve years left” Junwon said. “I can always take care of him untill that time come”

“15 is still underaged”

“Who cares? I can make a false ID for him”

“What’s your point?”

“My point?” Junwon asks. He stares at her. “My point is, here’s the deal. You sleep with me, I’ll let your kids free. I’ll even send them to school. But if you don’t want, that’s fine. Give me your first born son, and you’ll never have to sleep with me”

“You’re crazy”

“You can say so” Junwon said. He pats her cheeks. “Think about it, Teukie honey” he adds before he leaves.

Leeteuk felt her legs weakening as soon as he leaves. She fell down on the floor, right beside her kids. Her tears start rolling down her cheeks without her realizing.

“What to do?” She asks. She needs to sacrifice something. It’s either her or Yesung. She can’t quit this job. Not that Junwon would agree to it. She gets their family picture on top of the table and hugs it tight. “Kangin, what to do?”
 
She doesn’t want to do that with Junwon. But she doesn’t want to sell her son to him either.

That’s when Kangin’s last word occurred to her.

Don’t ever let them choose the wrong path.

There’s only two option. Leaving him for a better life in an orphanage and fetch him later. This way, she could quit the job and rented a small apartment. At least her salary from her other part time job is enough for 2 persons’ living.

Or she could stay with him, but needs to stay in this place, this job. And letting Junwon did everything that he wants from her.

She stares at Yesung who is still sleeping, not knowing what kind of thing is happening. “That’s it” she said. She hugs him tight. “I’m sorry, Yesung-ie”

Yesung who felt that his sleep is disturbed opens his eyes. “Umma?” He asks.

Leeteuk quickly wipes her tears. “Oh, did I wake you?”

“Are you crying?”

Leeteuk shook her head. “I’m not. I’m just sleepy” she said. “Go back to sleep” she adds before humming a lullaby for him.

Yesung nods lazily as he hugs her back and closes his eyes. “Umma?”

“Hm?”

“I love you” Yesung said. “I will protect you, just like what I promised Appa. So don’t be sad. I’ll be here for you”

She forces a smile. “I know” she said. “I love you too”

‘But I need to protect you first before you protect me’ she thought sadly.

~~~***~~~

“And, well, the rest is pretty predictable” Leeteuk said. She smiles bitterly. “I asked Mrs. Hong, whom I’ve known from a café where I worked part time. And she agreed to take care of him while I’m away” she adds. She shrugs. “But maybe I was gone for too long that she decided to give him to you”

“Sorry…” Heechul said.

“No, that’s fine. Really” Leeteuk said. “Chullie, actually I was glad that it’s you who adopted Yesung-ie”

“Why?”

“You led him to the right path. Something that can never be done if he stayed with me” Leeteuk said. “And thank you for that”

Heechul smiles. “It’s nice to help” she said.

“Anyway, Chullie, could you please…” Leeteuk stops for a while. “Let me see him? Just for an hour, no, thirty minutes will be fine. I just really wanted to see him”

There’s a moment of silent. Heechul takes a deep breath. “I’m really sorry, Teukie” she said. “But I spent so many years with Yesung that I come to love him as my son. It’s just… I can’t give him to you after all these years…” she said. “I’m sorry for being selfish. I just… I need some time to think about it”

There’s a moment of silent. Leeteuk smiles weakly. “I get it” she said. “I’m actually glad that you love him. At least he grow up with love”

“I’m really sorry”

“No. that’s fine” Leeteuk said. “It was my fault for leaving him in that place. At least you’re still reconsidering it”

There’s a moment of silent. Heechul can’t keep it like this. She felt too guilty. However, Leeteuk didn’t left him because of her own will. She gets a picture of Kyuhyun and Yesung in her wallet. “Well… you can keep this for the meantime” she said. She coughs. “I didn’t bring a recent picture of Yesung himself today. It’s a picture taken around 6 years ago. So there might be some changes in him now”

Leeteuk stares at the picture. She smiles upon looking at it. “He looks just like his father when he was his age” she said. “Thank you, Chullie”

Heechul smiles awkwardly. “That’s the only thing I can give you for now”

“But, still… thank you” Leeteuk said. “I never expected to see him, even if just in picture”

Heechul smiles at her. “Well, then… I guess I have to go now” she said. She stands up. “I’ll see you later, when I’m done reconsidering”

Leeteuk stands up and smiles back at her. “Thank you, Chullie” she said. “See you later”

‘Wait for me, Yesung-ie’

~~~***~~~

 

“You’re getting better and better each day” Sungmin said towards Kyuhyun who is sitting on a bench at the hospital’s park.

He just finished his walking practice a few minutes ago, and they are currently taking a rest before going back. Kyuhyun nods. “The doctor said if I keeps on getting better like this, I can go home next week”

Sungmin sat beside him. “Two months passed” she said. “Time flies”

Kyuhyun smiles bitterly. “It went faster than we thought, doesn’t it?”

“Are there… really no way for you to change your mind?”

Kyuhyun sighs. “Can we not talk about it?”

“Then what are we supposed to do? Are we supposed to just keeps on not mentioning it and separate our ways even if we don’t want?”

Kyuhyun didn’t say anything. It was weird. Part of him wants the divorce, but the other part of him didn’t want it. And he’s not sure which is dominating which. “How sure are you that I don’t want it?”

There’s a moment of silent. “So you want it?”

He’s unsure. He doesn’t know. But this situation just makes him even worse. She’s ruining his decision. “What makes you think I don’t?” He asks, sounding unexpectedly calm. “After all, I was the one who asked for this”

 He needs to do this. He can’t let her stay by his side and letting the same drama to happen again.

Sungmin smiles bitterly. “You never changed. It’s been 7 years, but you’re still the same” she said. “You always gave hopes to everyone. As if you like them back, as if you love them back, when in fact, you don’t. And you’re just waiting for the time to drop them to the ground”

“If I was like that, then what does that makes you?” Kyuhyun asks. “You acted as if you’re fine. As if you’re okay. And the next thing I know, you’re no longer with me”

“Do you have to bring that up?” Sungmin asks. “You know that I love you, right?”

“I’m starting to wonder if love is really necessary if in the end, trust is all that matters”

There’s a moment of silent. “Can’t you… can’t you trust me again?”

“Maybe I can” Kyuhyun said. “But why would I? So that you can break it again?”

“You just don’t love me anymore, right?” Sungmin asks. “If you did, you wouldn’t do this. I know you”

“What if I am? You’re too boring” Kyuhyun lied as he stares at the grass—wherever, as long as he’s not staring at her. He needs to push her away. “You keeps on repeating the same mistakes, and you’ll be asking for forgiveness, as if everyone can forget what you did just like that”

Her tears starts falling even without her realizing it. “You’re lying, right?”

“You’re the one who made statement. I’m just giving an answer. And now, you’re the one who asks me if I was lying” Kyuhyun said. “You’re such an inconsistency” he adds, still sounding unexpectedly calm. When in fact, he really wanted to say ‘yes, I lied’ and wipe those tears. But he knows, it’s useless. It can no longer be fixed.

There’s a moment of silent. “Do you know why did the little mermaid turn into sea foam?” She asks. “People said it’s because she made a promise with the sea witch. But I always think it’s wrong”

Kyuhyun finally stares at her.

“It’s because of heartbreak” Sungmin said. “She always naively believed that the prince loved her. That’s why when all of a sudden, the prince brought another girl to the castle, she can’t accept the truth and decided to run away to the sea, and turn into sea foam” she adds. “She always had the chance to just stay up there, where she doesn’t have to turn into sea foam. However the sea witch said she won’t turn into sea foam if she didn’t step in the ocean, right?. Why did she step there?”

“What are you trying to say?”

“It’s because of heartbreak. She can’t stay up there. That would just remind her of the prince. So she decided to turn herself into sea foam, so that she will die. So she can forget him. Even though in the end, she didn’t die and just turn into sea foam”  she said, ignoring his question. She stares right into his eyes. She forces a smile. “Me too, if I can’t forget you, if I keeps on believing that you love me, I will turn into sea foam because of heartbreak. Because of how much it hurts”

“What—“

She holds his hands. “Thank you for the 7 years. Sorry for ruining the last few years. Sorry for hurting you” she said. “I was happy before I ruin it. I know it’s my fault. We were hapoy before I ruin it”

Kyuhyun just stares at her confusedly.

She kissed his lips. “I let you go, if that means your happiness” she said as she leans her forehead towards his. “Sorry, for holding on to you for so long”

She stands up as she let go of him. “Let’s go back to your room” she said as she smiles at him.

Kyuhyun didn’t say anything. This is what he wanted. He wanted her to let him go. He pushed her away.

But when it happened, why does it feels so hard to let go?.

Seems like he has become an inconsistency himself.

 

~~~***~~~

 

“So how’s the meeting with Yesung’s mother?” Hankyung asks when Heechul arrived home. “Is she going to take him back, or is she letting him stay with us?”

“She lets him stay with us” Heechul said, sounds almost like a whisper.

“That’s a good thing, then” Hankyung said. “Why are you so sad?”

“It’s just… never mind” Heechul said. She let out a sigh. “You won’t understand”

“I’ll understand” Hankyung said. “Tell me”

There’s a moment of silent. “Teukie”

“Huh?”

“Teukie is his mother” Heechul said. “Small world, right?”

“Teukie as in… Park Leeteuk?” Hankyung asks. “Your best friend?”

“Yeah” Heechul said. “She told me her story. Why she dumped him. And I know how she has been suffering this whole time. How she’s always waiting to see him. How she always tried to find him… after all those things… I just, I can’t keeps on being selfish…” she adda. Tears that she keeps on holding on fell from her eyes. “But I don’t want to let him go… after all these years…”

Hankyung hugs her tight. “It’s fine… I’m sure Leeteuk will understand if you tell her that you can’t”

“But I don’t want to disappoint her” Heechul said. “I know how hard it is to wait for someone. I’m also a mother. I know how much it hurts to lose my son. And I know how happy I am when I know he’s alive. It’s just… I don’t know what to do”

There’s a moment of silent. “You know what, Chullie?” Hankyung asks. “I think we should let Yesung himself decide. However, it’s his life, and he’s already 32. He knows what’s best for him”

“And let him stress even more?” Heechul ask. “Hannie, I know he haven’t forgiven himself for what he did towards Kyuhyun. And he called me when I was on my way here, he told me that he’s taking a break for a month which only idiots would believe, which means he’s also having problems at work. And now you want him to think about it?”

“Do we have a choice?” Hankyung asks. “We don’t even know if Yesung wants to see her or not”

“He will” Heechul said. “It’s his mother. He will definitely see her. He will definitely wants to go with her, okay?”

“The problem is, he thought that his mother dumped him” Hankyung said. “He thought his mother didn’t want him.  You think it’s possible that he’s not holding any grudges towards her?”

“But the truth is not like that”

“The truth that the three years old Yesung didn’t know” Hankyung said. “You think it’s good for us to force him to meet her?”

There’s a moment of silent. Heechul leans her forehead to his chest. “But what if he chooses her? What if that happen? What will happen to me? To us? To our family?”

Hankyung rubs her back to calm her. “Let’s just believe him” he said, even though he’s also unsure of what he said.

 

~~~***~~~

 

Why must regret always come in the end? Can’t you just, at least know you would feel it at the end of everything, so that you won’t do stupid things?.

Why must there be such things as possessiveness? Isn’t it enough that you have that person’s heart? Isn’t it enough that he said he only loves you? Why must we think of something negative?.

Why does forgive doesn’t come along with forget? Is it so hard to forget? He keeps on holding on to those pieces of bad memories, as if not wanting to forget every single of it.

People’s hearts are really weird. It always happened in contrary to their logics.

That’s what Sungmin learnt after she let go of Kyuhyun a few days ago.

Everything happened normally after that. As if the conversation never happened.

It happened normal. Too normal that it became awkward.

It’s as if they just knew each other yesterday. As if they never love each other. As if they never shared happy memories together.

And now, here she is. Right on the place where she let him go a few days ago, drawing a picture of him on her sketchbook because she missed him.

But she’s 100% sure that he wouldn’t want to see her that often. Besides, she wasn’t sure that she won’t change her decision after she realized how much she missed him.

“You know what, instead of drawing a picture of him when you wants to see him, you better see him in
person” someone said right behind her back. “There’s this thing called lift. You can just take it to the 5th floor to see him”

Sungmin quickly closed her sketchbook, stands up and turned to see who it was.

Yesung is standing behind her. “Why did you close it? Your drawing’s good anyway”

Yesung.

One of the many person she doesn’t know how to face.

She still doesn’t know how to face him properly after the drama. After she ruined everything for him. It’s good that he reconcile with Ryeowook, or else she’ll never be able to forgive herself.

“Oppa… why are you here?”

“I was planning to run away from my parents because I’m sure they will grill me with questions as to why am I ‘taking a month off’ from work” Yesung said. “This is the perfect place, though”

“What happened with your work?”

“Well… just some misunderstanding with my co-workers” Yesung said. “They find out about it”

She knows what does he means by it. Yesung never wants to mention the details after it ends—not that she wants anyway. He always refer to the drama with ‘it’.

She bites her lower lip. “Sorry” she said, sounded more like a whisper. “It’s because of me”

Yesung can hear it. He smiles forcefully. “Hey, it’s fine” he said. “I’ll take that as a holiday. Besides, it’s my fault too”

“But really… I should have listened to you” Sungmin said. “You’re right. I regret it after I saw him”

“There’s no point of regretting” Yesung said. “In the end. It still happened, right? A regret won’t change anything. Besides, it’s also my fault. I should’ve said it firmly”

Sungmin looked up. She stares right into his eyes. “You don’t hate me?”

“I hated you at first” Yesung said. “But no longer. It’s already fine now. I realized how I can also did something stupid when I’m upset. I mean… well, remember the accident that made you met Kyuhyun 7 years ago”

“Thank you” Sungmin said. “I… to be honest, I can’t even look at you in the eye after that drama. I just… I felt that I owe you a lot…”

“Well… don’t be” Yesung said. “Just take this as my apology for flirting with other girl while I was with you 7 years ago”

There’s a moment of silent as both of them were drowned in their own thoughts. “Can’t we… just be friends?” Sungmin asks. “We never had a proper goodbye ever since we broke up”

Yesung smiles at her. “I thought you’ll never ask” he said. He stretched his hand out, offering her a handshake. “Friends?”

Sungmin accepted his offer. “Friends” she said as she smiles back at him.

“By the way, what about you?” Yesung asks. “Why are you here instead of with Kyuhyun?”

Sungmin shrugs. “I’ve nowhere else to go” she said. “The house reminds me of memories that I wanted to erase—even the good ones. And I’m sure Kyuhyun wouldn’t want to see me that often, but I missed him. So here I am, sketching a picture of him from what I can remember”

“I… I thought you guys were fine?”

“Apparently not” Sungmin said. “He said he doesn’t love me anymore. He said he’s tired of me. He said I’m such an inconsistency”

“You know he’s probably lying, right?” Yesung asks. “He’s probably just pushing you away on purpose”

“Probably” Sungmin said, emphasized the word ‘probably’. “You know, all of this reminds me of the little mermaid. Of how she used to believe that the prince loved her, when in the end he married other woman. And she ended up turning into sea foam by her own choice” she adds. “I said to him, I need to let go of him in order for me not to turn into sea foam, but I lied. The truth is, I let go of him to turn myself into sea foam by choice. I choose his happiness over my own. I’m willing to be sea foam if that means his happiness”

“But what if actually it’s not his happiness too?” Yesung asks. “You’ve turned into a sea foam as you left him, but what if he breaks into pieces as you left?”

“He’s already happy with his life now” Sungmin said. “No way it would happen”

“And how sure are you that he’s happy with his life?”

“Because he suffered more than enough because of me!” Sungmin said, unconsciously raising her voice. “Having me taken away from him means having all his sufferings taken away from him”

“Have it occurred to you that your biggest happiness can happen to be your biggest suffering?” Yesung asks. “Look at me and Wookie for example. I hurt her too much. But in the end, we still got back together”

“Your case is different. You never hurt her because you wanted to. You hurt her because I forced you”

“I don’t think you want to hurt him either” Yesung said. “You’re forced to do that by your own suspicions”

Sungmin sat back on the bench and opened her sketchbook again. She started doing her sketches again. “I just…” she mumbled as she does it. “He pushed me away. What else can I do? It’s as if he already rejected my presence”

There’s another moment of silent. “I’m sorry” Yesung said. “It’s my fault”

“You didn’t do anything though” Sungmin said. She looked up from her sketch to stare at him. “Anyway, where’s Tae Hee?”

“She’s having a date with her mama” Yesung said. “Wookie said she will drop her at my condo after dinner”

Sungmin smiles at him. “Somehow, I’m glad that you can get back with Ryeowook” she said. “It felt as if I can fix a little part of the mess I’ve created, even though I did no help towards your relationship”

“You actually helped though” Yesung said. “If you didn’t force me to do that, maybe I’ll never realize how much I love her. I know I love her. I just don’t know the feeling would be this strong”

“You’re just trying to make me feel better”

Yesung shrugs. “Anyway, it’s almost dinner time, I need to get back to my condo now if I don’t want Tae Hee to wait that long. Besides, I think it’s time to talk to my parents” he said. “See you later” he adds as he started to walk away.

He stops after a few steps. He stares at Sungmin who is still doing her sketch. “Just… don’t regret your decision” he said. “You almost lose him once. If you still let him go after, then that only means you won’t regret losing him” he adds before leaving.

Sungmin looked up and stares at his back that is getting further.

Regret.

She can’t feel it at the beginning.

But maybe she can sense it.

 

~~~***~~~

 

Yesung arrived in front of his condo unit only to find Heechul and Hankyung waiting for him. “Oh…” he said. “I thought you won’t wait for me…”

“What took you so long?” Hankyung asks. “It’s 7 P.M. Already”

“I’m just… enjoying my holiday” Yesung lied.

“Your holiday or your punishment?” Heechul asks. “Only idiots would believe that Captain Yesung who loves working so much would take such a long break”

Yesung sigh. “I just don’t want you to worry” he said. “Anyway, it’s just a small problem, you don’t have to worry. I’m old enough to handle it by myself”

He was shocked when Heechul hugs him tight. He can feel her shoulders shook as she cried. “Umma?” He asks. He hugs her back. “The problem’s not that complicated, you don’t have to be sad…”

Hankyung coughs. “Actually, Yesung” he said. “We’re not here to talk about that”

“Huh?” Yesung asks. “I thought you were talking about my punishment?”

Heechul lets go of him. “No, honey” she said. “We have something else to talk about”

Yesung was confused, of course. He wipes her tears using his thumb. “What is it?” He asks. “Is it something serious?”

“Actually a few days ago, I got a call from Mrs. Hong” Heechul asks. “Do you still remember her?”

There’s a moment of silent. “You mean, Mrs. Hong the head of the orphanage where I was adopted” he said. “What happened?”

Heechul can’t say anything. Instead, she stares at Hankyung.

He takes a deep breath. “Yesung, we have something to tell you” he said. “But promise us, you won’t be mad and handle this problem wisely”

“It depends” Yesung said, he stares at them suspiciously. “Umma, Appa, you’re scaring me. What happened?”

There’s a moment of silent. “Your mother, she contacted us” Hankyung said. His voice were calm, but even an idiot could tell that he’s a bit upset about this. “She said she wants to meet you”

For a few minutes, Yesung felt as if the clock has stopped ticking.

His mother. Park Leeteuk who dumped him a few years ago.

What does she wants from him now?.

 

~~~****~~~

 

The prince made the little mermaid believed that he loves her, but in the end, he married another girl.

He appeared as a bad guy because of this, because he had hurt our lovely main character,The Little Mermaid.

But the story is actually only told from The Little Mermaid’s perspective, which means, she doesn’t know how the prince feels.

What if he actually loves her? What if he secretly knew that she was a mermaid? If he knew that they won’t be together?.

What if it actually hurts for him to hurt her?. What if he actually just wants to turn into sea foam too?.

The tale of the Little Mermaid. It’s too complicated.

That’s what Kyuhyun has been thinking about these past dew days, after their conversation at the garden.

She told him that their love story reminds her a lot of the Little Mermaid, where the prince made her believe that he loves her.

But what if the prince is just like him?. What if he felt that his mind wanted to let go but his heart wanted to hold on?. What if the prince loves her, it’s just that he chooses to believe in his mind, just like him?.

Why is it so hard to forget?. The more it passed, the more he missed her, that means the more he remember those hurtful days.

Why does it felt this hurt to let go of her when it hurts just as much to hold on to her?.

Kyuhyun was still in his own thought when someone barged in his room. He turned to see who it was.

It was her. His ‘Little Mermaid’, Lee Sungmin.

“I… have… something to tell you…” she said. She was out of breath.

“What… why are you out of breath?” Was the only thing Kyuhyun able to ask after he recovered from his shock.

“I… I realized something…I—“ Sungmin stops talking as she coughs.

“Are you okay?” Kyuhyun asks, worried. “You seemed pale”

“I’m… fine, I just…” She stops talking when she suddenly felt her head spinning.

The next thing she can see was darkness.

Why is it so hard to just tell him that she won’t let go of him, because she knew she might regret it?.

 

~~~***~~~

Kyuhyun stares at Sungmin who haven’t wake up after he fainted 30 minutes ago.

He can’t think of anything right now. Everything’s too early. What the doctor told him. It’s too hard to process.

‘Ms. Lee Sungmin is suffering from Leukemia, last stage’ Doctor Song said as he reads a blood test result.

‘Leukemia?” Kyuhyun asks foolishly. ‘Last stage?’.

Doctor Song nods. ‘I’m really sorry about this’.

There’s a moment of silent as Kyuhyun tried to process those words. What does it mean. How will it impact his life. ‘That’s… fine’ he said, even before he understand those words. ‘Please… don’t tell her. I’ll tell her instead’.

That’s what he said. But up untill now, he still can’t process those words.

Leukemia. Last stage.

He holds her cold hands tightly. “I’m sorry…” he whispers. “Please wake up. Tell me it’s all lies”

That’s when Sungmin slowly open her eyes. She was shocked to see Kyuhyun by her side. “Kyu? Why are you here?” She asks weakly. She looks around. “Where am I?”

Kyuhyun stares at her. “Minnie, you’re awake?”

Sungmin nods. “Where am I?”

“You’re at the hospital” Kyuhyun said. “You fainted just as you reached my room”

“Oh…” she said. “And you? Why are you here?”

Kyuhyun always wondered if their position was reversed. If she’s the one who’s hurt and if he’s the one who needs to make it up to her.

Now that it’s really reversed, he doesn’t know what to do.

He smiles forcefully. “Minnie” he said as he holds her hands. “Let’s cancel the divorce”

To be continued…

31 FCKING PAGES XD. And sorry if there are typos or wrong editings. I typed the last part of th chapters while feeling extra sleepy, but I need to update this month because I won’t be able to type anything starting November 28th, because I will have a term end test T^T