Tuesday – Month 1, Day 4 – My Love My Kiss My Heart
Love Song“That one looks like a chicken wing!”
“No it doesn’t, it looks like a boomerang.”
“No no, see the shape of the chicken wing? It looks delicious.”
“Sooyoung, only you would see a chicken wing.”
I laughed and turned to the girl lying beside me. With the cushioned grass as our bed and the sunny warmth as our blanket, we were staring up at the sky and seeing shapes out of cloud. Her blonde hair looked especially golden in the sun and her eyes were so brown that I could melt. I loved the way her porcelain skin glow so clearly. While I felt happy just lying next to her, soon gloomy thoughts invaded my mind.
“Say, Sica … how long would you be in the US?” I asked as nonchalantly as I could.
“I don’t know. My parents want me to go to school there and then join them in the company when I graduate … yours too, right?” Jessica replied.
I sighed and nodded, “Yea. Nothing would delight me more than working under Siwon-oppa.” I replied with a sarcastic eye-roll.
“What do you want to do, then?” Jessica turned to me and I smiled at her.
“I want to be a doctor. Remember our dream? You and I would become doctors and join Doctors Without Borders.” I reminisced about a simpler time, before responsibilities and obligations. “We would travel the world and help those in need.” Truthfully, it was Jessica’s dream first. She was the one who wanted to help people and I merely fell in love with her altruistic personality and her enchanting smile.
“I do.” Jessica replied softly, “Remember … we said that we would be together forever?” Her eyes start to well up and I reached over to brush my thumb against her cheek. It felt so soft and warm. She was blushing and that suddenly excited me. Maybe she enjoyed my touch.
“Don’t cry. I’ll write you a daily email … I’ll call you weekly … and I’ll visit you yearly.” I began to choke up at the thought of only being able to see her once a year. I regretted never having told her about my feelings. But my cowardly heart probably would not be able to stand rejection.
“You promise?” Jessica looked extra cute when she pouted.
“I promise.” I answered with a whisper. Her pout had entranced me with the puffiness of her lips. I wondered how they would feel against mine.
For three years of high school, Jessica has been my constant companion. She was assigned to be mentor to an underclassmen and I just happened to be lucky enough to be her dongsaeng. Since she was a year ahead of me, we never had any class together, but we would always meet in the back of the school on afternoons like this.
We have been through so much together and tomorrow will be her graduation. The day after tomorrow, she will board a plane with her family and leave for a place nine-thousand-five-hundred-and-eighty-five kilometer away. That place was her birthplace but it is filled with foreign people and experiences. She might even find someone she would love … that thought tore my heart up.
I could not bear to cry in front of her, but I felt as if I was going to lose her forever. However, right now all I could think about was the urge to taste her lips. Unconsciously, I had leaned closer and closer to her. I eyed her for any reaction before I leaned in …
Sooyoung awoke just in time to turn off the alarm that chirped right after she opened her eyes. She turned and reached beside her, but her fingers only met the silky texture of the sheets. She stared at the empty spot for a long time before she sat up and climbed out of bed.
It was a morning like all other mornings; everything was quiet except for Sooyoung who constantly made noises to avoid the heaviness of silence. The sound of the toast popping up from the toaster pulled her back to the memory of yesterday, when she saw Jessica again after four years. She was still dazed from the complicated manner that she brought her to the other girl. With whole Seohyun-Yoona business, it was as if Sooyoung was fated to meet Jessica again.
Sooyoung sighed softly and regretted not asking for Jessica’s number last night. She regretted not telling the other girl how she felt. She regretted that she had to pretend to be Yoona’s love interest. There were many things that she regretted and they kept swirling around her head. She checked her phone for a reply from Sulli, but her mailbox was empty.
After she had pondered through her breakfast, Sooyoung gathered her things and left for school. She felt happier when she was in class because she wanted to able to bury her thoughts. As she listened to her professors, she started to slowly fall into the embrace of sleep. When she woke up again, it was because she just hit the desk face-first with a loud thud. Sooyoung hissed because of the pain on her forehead, but then she turned bright red when she realized that everyone in the room was looking at her.
“Are you alright, Ms. Choi?” Her professor smirked knowingly.
“Yes, sir. I just wanted to kill a mosquito, sir.” Sooyoung replied with a smile, despite the height of her embarrassment.
“Try to be a little more quiet about it next time, then.”
For the rest of the day, Sooyoung wandered from class to class like an automaton. When she finally had a chance to sit down in the student lounge, she let out a heavy sigh. Her classmates looked on worriedly at their usually cheerful princess. She paid them no mind because she was not in a good mood.
“That Jinri, why isn’t she texting me back?” Sooyoung mumbled to herself and pulled her phone out of her pocket.
By a mystical power, the phone vibrated as soon as Sooyoung touched it. With haste, the depressed girl answered. “Hello!”
[“Hello … someone’s chipper this afternoon.”] A voice greeted her, but it was not a voice that she was waiting for.
“Hyoyeon …” Sooyoung could not hide the disappointment in her voice.
[“Yah! What’s with the sudden change in tone, huh?”] The woman on the other line sounded agitated.
“Sorry, Shorty. I’m in a bad mood today.” Sooyoung apologized while doodling in her notebook. “What’s up?”
[“Quit it with the “shorty” this and “shorty” that. I won’t be able to grow because of you.”] Hyoyeon whined.
“Shorty, make it quick, I don’t have all day to listen to your complaints.” Sooyoung responded with false annoyance.
[“Fine! See if I’ll play messenger for anymore!”] Hyoyeon’s voice was so loud that Sooyoung had to move the phone away from her ear.
“Hey, I’m sorry alright? Now will you please tell me why you called?” Sooyoung relented because she was tired of this nonsense. She heard Hyoyeon huffed on the other line.
[“First, you got another assignment for tomorrow. Some sort of urgent client that not even Kahi-unni could refuse.”]
“Seriously? I’ve told that woman that I don’t want to work during school days. How am I going to study if I keep having to work all the time? Plus, I’ve had enough trouble with the last client!” Sooyoung moved out of the room so no one would hear her yell.
[“Funny you should mention your last client … she came in today.”] Hyoyeon broke into the middle of Sooyoung’s rant.
Sooyoung became quiet and waited for Hyoyeon to finish. “What did she want?”
[“Apparently, you did such a good job … that she requested you again for some wedding in three weeks.”]
Sooyoung froze in her spot. She was going to have to go to a wedding, most likely Seohyung and Yonghwa’s, where Jessica’s brother was going to marry her client’s one-true-love. Who knows what Yoona was plotting? Sooyoung sure did not want to be there for that. Suddenly, her mood went from bad to worse. “I refuse.”
[“That’ll be tough, since Kahi-unni already signed the contract with her. It’s a big payment one, Soo … we’re talking about one hundred million won.”]
“What?!” Sooyoung yelped, causing some passerby to stare at her. “What is wrong with that girl?!” She rubbed her temple to ward the migraine that was coming on.
[“I don’t think anything’s wrong with her at all, she just fell for the Sooyoung Magic, that’s all. If she didn’t fall for you, something would be wrong with her.”]
“Hyo, don’t even joke about this. She’s … kind of a mess. I don’t think I can go to a wedding with her, I’m afraid of the scene she will cause.” Sooyoung was halfway about to tear her hair out.
[“She can’t be any worse than that client-turned-stalker you had … what was her name? Oh wait, there were three stalkers, two girls and one guy.”]
“Now is not the time to bring up those creepers, Hyo.” Sooyoung gritted her teeth.
[“Alright, alright. Calm your . Geez. Anyways, that’s all I was told to tell you. I’ll email you the details for your client tomorrow. Good luck and see ya Thursday!”]
**click**
Sooyoung sighed when she heard Hyoyeon hang up on her. Why was everything so complicated and difficult when Yuri was away? Yuri would know what to do about her situation. She frowned at herself for the constant thought about that girl; she had more important things to worry about. Things like how to win Jessica back and how to prevent Yoona from plotting something nasty again.
After lunch, Sooyoung went to the library to study with her group. She decided that she had too much worries to deal with in one day. She had to study if she wanted to be a doctor. She had to be a doctor if she wanted to join Doctors Without Borders. She had to join Doctors Without Borders if she wanted to show Jessica that she has loved the girl always. Feeling energized, Sooyoung suppressed her uneasiness and studied with all her concentration.
By the time Sooyoung got home, it was already midnight. The only communication she received today was Hyoyeon’s call. She sighed and texted Sulli again to see if the other girl just missed the first message. Right before she fell asleep, she felt a soft vibration from her phone.
… Unconsciously, I had leaned closer and closer to her. I eyed her for any reaction before I leaned in and kissed her softly. My lips barely grazed the supple warmth of hers. My heart leaped for joy because for the first time in my life, I knew how it felt to kiss the person I love.
My eyes were closed and her lips touched her just on the surface. I was too nervous to open my eyes and too cowardly to press the kiss any further. When I felt no resistance from her, I leaned away and finally opened my eyes.
Jessica stared up at my with those honey brown orbs that cause my heart to constrict. She looked surprise and immediately, I blushed deeply. “I’m sorry …” I muttered and started to regret my action.
“Pabo …” Jessica shook her head and reached behind my head. She pulled me closer and kissed me more firmly than I did her. I did not resist and instinctively kissed her back. Just butterfly kisses at first, but it was all that I wanted to be happy. Whether this was a dream or not, it was the best moment of my life.
Our kiss lingered for minutes, perhaps hours, but I have wanted this for so long that eternity would be too short. Finally, she leaned back and let me linger on the space where she occupied. I smiled at her and she smiled back.
“I’ll come back, Sooyoungie~” Jessica’s sweet voice promised.
“I’ll wait for you, Sica.” I said with conviction, I have never made a promise with all my heart before.
“Wait for me.” Jessica nodded with tearful eyes before she leaned over and hugged me. I let her upperbody lay on top of mine while we embraced.
Sweetly, I whispered into her ear, “I’ll love you always and forever.” As I squeeze my eyes shut, my own tears streamed down the side of my face. When she said she loved me back, I smiled and wished for happily ever after.
We stayed like that for a while before we had to go home. I held her hand and we walked side by side. The sun was setting and I walked Jessica home on a golden path.
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You guys and gals are the best! Now I ... will write some more! Thanks for reading!
credit for the photo above goes to hyosicas
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