Sooyoung had a headache.

                  Actually, a headache would be an understatement. It was more of a migraine, where lights and sounds agitated the pain that could blind her. Sooyoung bear the pain through her classes and could not wait until she could rush home to her dark room and comfortable bed.

                  After having breakfast with Hyomin, Sunny, and Jiyeon, Sooyoung drove back to her university for classes. Before she went out the door, Sunny packed some food to send home with her and that made Sooyoung tear up a bit. Hyomin wished her well and Jiyeon wished her bad luck. Despite the rocky night, everything was resolved and Sooyoung felt better since her mind was not on her constant problem.

                  School went by slowly, despite Sooyoung only having morning and early afternoon courses that day. Eventually, Sooyoung wandered out of her school building, her mood was much more foul than any she had felt in a long time. Not long after she started going toward her car and her mind drifted back to her love-problem, her phone went off.

                  “Hello.” Sooyoung answered.

                  [“Yo yo yo.”]

                  “Hey, Hyoyeon.” Sooyoung winced as Hyoyeon’s loud voice caused her head to nearly explode. “What do you want?”

                  [“Yeesh, is that how you greet a friend who has lunch for you?”] Hyoyeon growled on the other line.

                  “Oh… sorry.” Sooyoung mumbled. She had forgotten about her weekly lunch with the other woman. They have not had a chance to do so in a while. “So meet in the cafeteria?” Her voice softened a bit.

                  [“Nah. Let’s meet in the garden. I got homemade lunches for us today.”]

                  “What? You made us lunch? Is it safe to eat?” In the two years that Sooyoung have known Hyoyeon, she never knew the other woman to be able to cook. Despite the pain in her head, Sooyoung was genuinely surprised.

                  [“Of course it is. So do you want to meet or not?”] Hyoyeon sounded irritated by Sooyoung’s doubt.

                  “Okay. See you there.”

                  [“Okay. I’ll see you in a bit!”] Hyoyeon hung up.

                  Sooyoung sighed and slipped her phone back into her pocket. She rubbed her temple, as if she was telling her head to hang in there for a bit. She wanted to go home, but Hyoyeon made lunch, it would not be right to waste her friend’s efforts. She sighed again and leaned her back against the bench while her mind drifted with the wind. She people-watched for a few minutes, as a way to keep her mind occupied. Hyoyeon soon popped into her view and waved cheerfully at Sooyoung.

                  Sooyoung waved back at Hyoyeon. They continued to wave at each other until Hyoyeon was right in front of Sooyoung. “Hey Hyo.”

                  “Hey, tall kid.” Hyoyeon huffed and set a bento box down on the bench.

                  “Was the walk that bad? Or you’re just getting old?” Sooyoung teased and offered Hyoyeon her handkerchief to wipe her sweat.

                  Hyoyeon gave Sooyoung a sharp look and shook her head. “It wasn’t that bad, I just had to run back to the other side of campus to get the food … then run back here to meet you.”

                  “Oh, I see … those short legs must have had to work more than usual, eh? I’m sorry, short le- OUCH!” Sooyoung yelped and reached down to rub her shin, where Hyoyeon’s foot just landed.

                  “What were you saying, huh?” Hyoyeon reached over and pinched Sooyoung’s ear, now that the giant had leaned down.

                  “Ow ow ow … I said let’s eat some delicious food!” Sooyoung winced in pain. She continued with their usual banter. There was no use acting like a mopey sick kid. After all the years of physical abuse by Hyoyeon, her pain tolerance was very high. A little migraine could not get her down.

                  “That’s what I thought.” Hyoyeon let go of Sooyoung’s ear and sat down on the bench.

                  Sooyoung rubbed her red, burning ear before she joined Hyoyeon on the bench. “So what did you make? And I didn’t know you pack lunches … oh wow.” Sooyoung’s eyes went round as her jaw slacked a bit. She gaped at the display of the bento box’s content.

                  There were all sorts of easy lunch food. The bento box had three different compartments and they each held a different sort of treasure. There was a PB&J sandwich, cut into triangles. There were chopped fruits and salad. There were slices of kimbap, some barbecue meat, and rice. 

                  “Wow …” Sooyoung was gazing at the food with fondness and wondering if it would be crass for her to eat everything.

                  “You can eat half, but not everything.” Hyoyeon said, as if she read Sooyoung’s mind.

                  “I didn’t say I would eat everything!” Sooyoung frowned in protest. “So what made you want to pack lunch today?” Sooyoung wondered, since they have always eaten out on their usual dates.

                  “Ah well …” Hyoyeon blushed. “I was packing lunch for my girlfriend … so … I made extra for us.”

                  “Oh … wait! What? You have a girlfriend?” Sooyoung laughed. “Is she imaginary?!”

                  “Shut up! She’s real!” Hyoyeon smacked Sooyoung’s shoulder.

                  “Oh! So she’s a blow up doll?” Sooyoung gasped.

                  They bantered back and forth while they enjoyed the food. Hyoyeon told Sooyoung about her new girlfriend, Nicole, who was her client last month. They have been going out and just made it official last week. Sooyoung congratulated Hyoyeon on finally settling down. It was usual for them to have lunch together on Thursdays, because it was the only day where their schedules were free at the same time. Usually, they teased each other about this and that while joking about other things in their lives. This Thursday was no different.

                  “Ah … thank you, Hyoyeon. You did well.” Sooyoung rubbed her belly before she accepted a cup of hot barley tea from her companion. “Thanks.” The food made her feel a lot better.

                  “So what’s going on with you and Yuri?” Hyoyeon sipped on her own cup of tea.

                  Sooyoung was blowing on the surface of the tea to help it cool quicker. She glanced over at Hyoyeon and shrugged. “What do you mean? She’s abroad right now …”

                  “Just cut the BS. I know she’s back already. She called me last night asking if I knew where you were.” Hyoyeon looked sternly over at Sooyoung.

                  “She called you?” Sooyoung breathed easy, since Yuri was still alive.

                  “Yeah, but she sounded pretty drunk.” Hyoyeon added.

                  Sooyoung was lost in her trance of thought for a moment before she frowned and shook her head. “Are you sure? Yuri … she doesn’t drink …” Her voice sounded unsure.

                  “Well, she sounded drunk to me. Drunk and crying.” Hyoyeon’s brown eyes stared into Sooyoung’s. “I don’t know what’s going on between you two, or why she is back in Korea already, but I know that it’s not normal for Yuri to drunk call anyone.”

                  Sooyoung looked away, unable to look into Hyoyeon’s scrutinizing gaze. “It’s none of your business, Hyo.” Then the dull pain in the back of her head returned like a stab to her brain.

                  “I know.” Hyoyeon replied. “But you are both my friend and I knew her before I met you. She’s one of my few and oldest friends. I don’t want to see her hurt, you understand?”

                  Sooyoung nodded. “I don’t want to hurt her.”

                  “But …” Hyoyeon guessed.

                  “But I might have unintentionally hurt her.” Sooyoung sighed as she stared at the ground.

                  “How did you unintentionally hurt her?”

                  “By loving someone else.” Sooyoung finally admitted it.

                  “I always thought that you two were too close to be just friends … I was kind of hoping that you would end up with each other.” Hyoyeon smiled quietly. “You two are cute together …” Suddenly Hyoyeon grew silent. She turned her body toward Sooyoung and gently placed her hand on the other woman’s shoulder. “Do you love Yuri?”

                  Sooyoung’s eyes widened. She turned away slightly, then back. She opened , but no word came out. “I …” She started slowly. “I don’t know.”

                  “Hrms … confusing …” Hyoyeon sighed.

                  “Tell me about it.” Sooyoung said shortly. “I used to think that I have love all figured out … but now I’m so confused … If I think about one woman, then I instantly think about the other, too. I’m attracted to both of them. They each make me happy in a different way. I … I was so proud of myself for loving one person consistently through four years spent apart. But now, on the verge of losing Yuri, I realize that I could possibly be in love with her as well.”

                  Sooyoung’s face darkened and her eyes fell to the ground again.

                  Hyoyeon scooted closer and draped her arms around Sooyoung’s shoulders. “I’ve always dreamed of being the object of multiple women’s affection. I guess it is tough work, after all. I’m glad that I’m not as lucky as you.” The seriousness of the situation was starting to get to her. If there was one thing that Hyoyeon could not stand, it was seriousness.

                  Sooyoung shook her head and smiled bitterly. “I wish I was the win-the-lottery kind of lucky.” 

                  “Have you bought a lottery ticket recently?” Hyoyeon waggled her brows.

                  “No.”

                  “Then maybe you should try.”

                  “They say money and love don’t always go together.” Sooyoung shook her head, because she was not the gambling kind.

                  “Right, right …” Hyoyeon agreed distractedly. “Anyways, I’m off to work now.”

                  “Oh … I thought we were going to talk some more!” Sooyoung whined, though she was certainly happy not to have to discuss the topic any longer. She pretended to cling onto the older woman’s waist. “Don’t leave me!”

                  “Get off me!” Hyoyeon pushed Sooyoung’s head away from her. “You better get to work this weekend before Kahi-unni hunt you down … wait … speaking of work …” She suddent stopped struggling and tapped her lips like she was thinking. “I wanted to tell you something …”

                  Sooyoung looked over at the pondering woman. She chuckled because Hyoyeon looked strange when she tried to think hard.

                  “Aha!” The energetic woman had a light-bulb come on in her head. “Your favorite client, Im Yoona, came by this past weekend. Since you played hooky, Kahi-unni had to reschedule for her to come by this Saturday. You better be there, or you will be in truckload of trouble.”

                  Sooyoung’s face fell at the mention of Yoona. She had to deal with one troublemaker last night, she was not sure if she could face another one so soon. With a little sigh, Sooyoung nodded. Now the stab-like pain in her brain felt like someone just twisted the knife. How could Sooyoung handle Yoona without hurting the girl? If things turn out badly with Yoona and Seohyun, would Jessica hate Sooyoung?

                  The lull in conversation made Hyoyeon feel bad for bringing up a work topic. “Hey, chin up, little buddy. It’ll be alright.”

                  “Little buddy?” Sooyoung chuckled and pushed Hyoyeon lightly. “Get out of here before I punch you.”

                  “Alright, little buddy.” Hyoyeon grinned and stressed that last part. “I’ll see you soon. Bye!”

                  Sooyoung waved until Hyoyeon was out of her sight before she rose from the bench. Taking in a deep breath, she leaned back and stretched her arms out widely. Without anything else to do, the emptiness returned to her heart. She sighed again and decided to go home for the day.

                  As soon as Sooyoung opened her door, she felt something was rather wrong. There were empty bottles littered across her floor, as well as the nauseating smell of alcohol. Sooyoung blocked her nostrils with her index finger while she ventured further into her apartment. It was dark, since the curtains were drawn, so she flipped on the lights after she almost took a tumble from a haphazard empty bottle.

                  Sooyoung gasped as she looked around her trashed apartment. There were cans and broken bottles near the couch. The seat cushion was torn so that the fillings were spilling out. One of her lamps was lying on the ground; its bulb was in pieces. Sooyoung set her backpack down before she glanced into the kitchen, where pieces of her china and shards of glass were strewn on the floor. There were also morsels of food on the ground.

                  Sooyoung’s eyes tear up and she continued into the bedroom. She could tell that the trail of bottles and cans led to her bed, but the room was drenched in shadows. She flipped the light switch, but no light came, so she walked over and threw the curtains back to borrow some natural light. The setting sun immediately washed shades of red over her walls and floor, revealing a pair of deep-set eyes staring at Sooyoung.

                  “Where have you been?” The woman croaked, her voice sounded hoarse. She was sitting on Sooyoung’s bed, with her back against the headboard and a bottle of soju in her hand.

                  “Yuri …” Sooyoung felt a stab in her heart when she saw Yuri’s red, puffy eyes like the woman had been crying and drinking for a while.

                  “I ASKED WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!” Yuri screamed and threw the bottle in her hand at Sooyoung.

                  Sooyoung ducked and felt the alcohol splash onto her when the bottle broke into smithereens. She did not know what to say, as her chest tightened and squeezed the air out of her lungs. She remained silent, but the disappointment in her eyes was loud enough to make Yuri look away.

                  “I’ve been waiting here … waiting for you to come home … but you didn’t come home for the night …” Yuri sobbed and buried her face into her hands. She was drunk and emotional, which made for a very pitiful combination. “You were with her, weren’t you?”

                  Sooyoung crossed the room, careful not to step on any shards. Her knees sank into the mattress and she crawled over to Yuri. Gently, she lifted the woman’s face, which was smeared with mascara and tears. “I went to visit my cousin and stayed the night.” She sat down by Yuri and let the distressed damsel lean on her. “I’m sorry I didn’t come home.”

                  It felt wrong for Sooyoung to be so gentle toward Yuri, when she was the person who hurt Yuri in the first place. However, she felt peaceful when Yuri’s head rested on her shoulder, like it was meant to be there all along. Yuri was still crying heavily, despite Sooyoung’s attempt to comfort her.

                  “I waited for you … I made dinner and waited … why do you always keep me waiting?” Yuri curled her fist and pounded lightly on Sooyoung’s chest. “I’m always the one waiting for you.”

                  “That’s not true …” Sooyoung started. There were many times that she waited for Yuri. She wanted to say that, but Yuri quickly cut her off.

                  “I’ve always waited for you to love me instead of her. I’ve been so patient, but you never forgot her. You waited and waited … and I’ve waited for you.” Yuri’s tears soaked through Sooyoung’s shirt. “Don’t you know that I love you? I love you, you idiot.”

                   Despite Yuri’s tearful confession, Sooyoung remained still and quiet. She was not heartless or indifferent, but rather stunned but Yuri’s admission. In truth, Sooyoung had a sneaking suspicion due to Yuri’s reaction on Sunday night. Sooyoung wanted to be wrong because hearing the truth now makes it all so much harder. She wanted to push Yuri away and tell Yuri that Jessica is the only one in her heart. That would be the right thing to do. Right?

                  Instead of pushing Yuri away, Sooyoung wrapped her arms around Yuri’s body and pulled the crying woman against her. She hugged her tight and listened to the quiet sobs. Each sob etched its mark into her heart. “I’m sorry, Yuri-ah.” Her voice was soft and hushed, like she was trying to pacify a crying child.

                  Yuri sobbed louder, because it was not what she wanted to hear. Sorry did not erase Yuri’s pain or make Sooyoung’s confusion go away, but it was the only word in Sooyoung’s vocabulary at that moment.

                  Sooyoung wanted to say more, but her words escaped along with her thoughts. In her drunken and emotional state, Yuri was too vulnerable and fragile, as if she could break any moment. Sooyoung looked around the state of her room, specifically the empty cans and bottles. Her eyes roamed, trying to fix her thoughts. “You drank again, when you promised that you wouldn’t.” Her voice sounded sharper than she had intended.

                  “…” Yuri did not respond, but her crying stopped.

                  “We made a promise with to never drink, no matter the occasion.” Sooyoung wanted to talk about something else. “Do you remember what alcohol did to your father?” The conversation took a sharp turn. “Do you remember our discussion about alcoholism?”

                  “I’m sorry for being such a failure and an inconvenience.” Yuri pushed her hands against Sooyoung’s side, trying to break away from Sooyoung’s hug. She felt attacked by Sooyoung’s accusation. But the sober girl held her tightly.

                  “You have been an inconvenience, starting from the day I met you. You pushed and shoved yourself into my life. And somehow, you’ve kept me wrapped around your finger.” Sooyoung held the struggling girl in her arms. “You think you’re the only one who’s been waiting? What about all the days you were out with other women? What about all the nights when you chose the arms of a stranger instead of mine? What about the months you decided to spend abroad? I’ve had my fair share of waiting for you.”

                  As Sooyoung continued to rant, Yuri settled down to listen to her. “You’ve kept me guessing and wondering. You always excused yourself with the reason of wanting me to think about you … but do you know how painful it is to think about you? You’ve never said anything about your feelings for me … I’m not the only one at fault.” The welled up tears burned Sooyoung’s eyes. “Now that Jessica is back, you hold yourself hostage and damage your health just to keep me worrying about you. That’s not love. That’s cruelty. That’s selfishness.”

                 Sooyoung loathed herself that moment, knowing that she was about to hurt her best friend, coworker, a person she could possibly be in love with, but not seeing any other way to handle it. She had feelings and pride as well. She had always yielded to Yuri before, but not this time. “So I’m sorry if I’m conflicted and isn’t prepared to say love you back. Forgive me if I’m not ready to take a leap into an illusion of love.”

                 After she has said her piece, Sooyoung loosened her grip and let Yuri go. Tears began to flow from Sooyoung’s eyes as she disentangled herself from Yuri and climbed off the bed. Suddenly, she felt Yuri’s body crash against her and a hot cheek is pressed against her neck, and the trickle of tears. It felt foreign and strange to have their roles reversed. Yuri was the pleading one instead of Sooyoung. Yuri was not the controlling or dominant one. For once, Sooyoung had the power.

                 “Please, don’t leave me!” Yuri’s arms were wrapped around Sooyoung’s neck, embracing her tightly. “I can’t live without you. You’re my savior … my one and only life. I would’ve drowned without you. I will drown without you.” She spoke about a time that may not exist in Sooyoung’s memory.

                 “Don’t. You don’t know what you’re saying. Until you can control yourself and your emotions, you won’t be able to think clearly … you may just be jealous of Jessica, that’s why you’re saying all this.” Sooyoung’s voice was harsh as she unwrapped Yuri’s arms from her. Her shoulders trembled as she rose from the bed. She wiped her tears across her arm. “I won’t talk to you until you are sober and calm.”

                 “No! Sooyoung! Come back to me!” Yuri clung onto Sooyoung’s clothes, but was quickly shrugged off by the departing woman. She wailed and threw a pillow that hit Sooyoung’s back. “Sooyoung, you’re heartless ! I love you, do you hear me?! I won’t let her have you! I won’t!”

                 Sooyoung walked quickly and determinedly out of her bedroom, away from the Yuri’s emotional vacuum, in fear that she would get in if she hesitated. She needed to be strong, not only for herself, but also for Yuri. Sooyoung was stuck between two lungs. She drew breaths from each of them and she could not stand to part with either. Yet, if she continued to be indecisive then she could lose both. How would she live without her lungs?

                 Sooyoung closed the door to shut in Yuri’s lament and grief. “Just wait a bit longer, Yuri-ah … until I can sort out my own emotions.” She whispered outside the doorway.

                 Somehow, her migraine went away and was replaced by a completely different sort of headache. It was going to be another sleepless night for Sooyoung as the night blanketed the city. She started to clean the debris left in her livingroom and kitchen, because mindless motions kept her from the wreckage of her conflicted soul. She cleaned and washed until her exhausted body collapsed onto the couch, where she stared at the ceiling until a dreamless sleep shuttered her eyes.

Hello my wonderful readers! You guys have been so wonderful and patient with me. I am glad to see everyone's thoughts and comments on this story. It's a wonderful feeling to know that you enjoyed my humble writing. You guys and gals are jjang! Daebak! AMAJJING! Thank you for your continued support. 

Now that all the cards have been put on Sooyoung's table, I wonder how she will play? It's a difficult choice for her. If you were in Sooyoung's shoes, who will you choose?  How would you act? I'm just wondering ...

Have a wonderful week until the next time, my sweet readers!