“Ravi yah,

Are you well? Does your wound still hurt? Time seems to be standing still over here. Is it the same for you over there?

The soldiers were saying that we are at the verge of losing. We have no more hopes of winning. I still have my faith but I no longer see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I’m scared. I want to go back to those days where we would play by the river as kids but without this sacrifice that would be a far fetched dream. You are probably working very hard for everyone to go back to how life was before.

I’m writing this letter in hopes that I might get to send it one day. You are like a precious brother to me so please stay alive alright? I will see you soon.

Your best friend.”

Sighing softly, Hongbin folded the brown piece of scrap paper into half and slotted it into an equally stained envelope which is already packed with a thick wade of letters that were never mailed. Keeping his pen in the designated side pocket and tucking the bulky envelope into his rucksack, he got up and trudged back into the first aid tent.

He needed a breather. It’s been more than a month since he got to this camp. Smacked right in the middle of the forest. He needed to maintain his sanity. Writing to his best friend helps. The other had always been in the army and then the war broke out and their lives changed. Hongbin was strongly against him heading to the front line but the latter was adamant. There was nothing Hongbin could do.

Getting down onto his knees, which by now is the standard position to work in, the young doctor rubbed his hands together to retain as much warmth as he could in the chilly temperature. Bandaging the forceps to his hands since he can no longer feel his numbed fingers, the determined latter started to work quickly on the bleeder he had just staunched.

The freezing alcohol solution he is flushing those gory wounds with stings whenever his bare skin is exposed to it but he is determined to tolerate the sensation. For the sake of his patients. They are precious comrades. People with families and friends. They know the tremendous risk they are taking to protect their country yet they do what they do. So Hongbin will do his best to send them home in one piece.

 Knotting the final stitch with deft hands, the young man bandaged up the leg gently and moved on to the next casualty. That is pretty much the routine. Disruption happens often whenever they have an emergency case but emergencies usually end tragically. The rescue transport either arrives too late or the injured would be gone too soon.

Shelling happens once too often as well and Hongbin’s eardrums are already going through the vicious cycle of rupture and healing by now. He can hear but it’s as though he is living in a cave. At least the blasts are no longer deafening since they are pretty much muffled. He is even able to sleep through it by now so he can safely say that nothing really fazes him anymore.

As a fresh graduate from medical school, Hongbin has had his share of critically ill patients in the worst setting ever. Nevertheless, school hadn’t trained him for this. He had joined on impulse, to fulfil a personal request. Wonshik was injured in a blast some time back and his sister had begged Hongbin to go to his aid. Why he ended up staying even after Wonshik was nursed back to health remained a mystery. Perhaps he possessed a lot more empathy than he thought he had. However, none of that matters now.

“Hang in there.” Whispering to the sick man who had been febrile for the past two days while he waited for the rescue vehicle, Hongbin is not ready to lose him. He functions as a doctor, a nurse and a counsellor. Everyone looks to him for comfort be it for physical ailments or emotional support and he is getting bloody good at it.

Hearing the excited cries of the patrols as the long awaited truck finally pulls in, Hongbin gave the cold compress a final change and joined the human chain where the healthy soldiers will load the truck with the injured ones. The dead ones too if the bodies are still fresh and in good condition. At least their family would have closure when the body bags start to return.

Watching the truck pull away, Hongbin returned to his designated tent with the intentions of getting some much needed sleep. He had worked his way through more than twenty wounds today, hadn’t slept for two days and more importantly, hadn’t been caring for his own needs. No bathes. No proper meals.

Stripping and rubbing himself down, Hongbin changed out of the uniform which is already wrinkled with dried blood and diesel stains. Washing his hair with the precious water he had conserved, the young man braved the cold just for the sake of preening. Being a closet hygiene freak such as himself is never easy. He had learnt to live with the filth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile...

“Yes sir!!” A single soldier salutes and marches out of a gloomy looking room with broken tables and chairs strewn in all four corners, closing the door behind him carefully before dashing off eagerly back where he came from, past the eerie corridor littered with debris.

Inside the classroom of an abandoned school, a tall man, well built, sat on what used to be the desk of a student and traced his finger around the scratch marks on the smooth lacquered surface. With a frown on his forehead as he rubs a palm along his chin, the man sulked coolly.

A knock on the door interrupted his train of thoughts again and the creases on his brow-line deepened. Standing up suddenly and slamming the door shut in the face of the person who had just opened it, the vexed officer locked it and paced around the room like a stealthy big cat. The person outside does not dare to knock again.

It’s been months since his army broke past the border and successfully invaded down south. Yet he is unable to gain an upper hand for this battle no matter how hard he tried. It is taking too long and using up too much of their resources so he needs to make a decision soon. To continue advancing or pull the brakes.

He attributes his failure to the bombings of all the wrong bases. There are nothing but enemies’ slumps where he had shelled. No intelligence. No resources. He needed a trump card to end this once and for all. He needs to find the centre base for coordination in order to press forth.

If he can cover more grounds then he will have more place to set up his camps too. Having too many different camps located at such close proximity with one another is hazardous and his enemies can easily detect his main command centre. He needs to think of something and fast.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another day had past with nothing really drastic happening. The afternoon sun beats down on Hongbin as he hurries back from the nearby abandoned water reserve with the final two buckets of fresh water. Rolling up his sleeves, the young one repositioned his cap to keep all of his short brownish black hair in. Dabbing the sweat from his begrimed cheeks with his soiled sleeves, he does not use a drop of the precious water to clean himself this time.

Instead, pulling out the sheets, caked in dried blood of his patients, the young medic is bent on replacing the dirty linens his patients are lying on with fresh pieces. Hygiene is still important at times like this, or at least that was what the clean freak rationalised. Then, squatting down, the medic switched roles and became a nurse, washing down the long row of injured man one by one. If they die, at least they are recognisable.

The gun powder and gasoline are particularly difficult to get rid of so Hongbin ended up looking like a pig that has just emerged from a mud bath. Dripping wet and shivering even though the useless afternoon sun is up, the young man forces himself to adapt to the harsh temperature while working non-stop.

“They are here!!” “Hurry and get them on!!” A couple of soldier finally appears at the clearings with good news that Hongbin was pining for all day.

Grinning from ear to ear since those rescue trucks do not come so often, the dimpled latter momentarily neglected his washing duties and charged back to the long tent. No one can fathom how he manages to look so pretty despite the amount of filth stacking up on him. Joining in the human chain as the entire platoon shuffles the casualties onto the trucks, Hongbin couldn’t help but feel really satisfied that his hard work had paid off. Some of his patients are even ambulant by now and are easing themselves on independently.

Watching the heavy vehicles pull out of the mush and drive off into the distance, the young medic was about to head back but the sudden invasion of some very foreign looking vehicles threw him off momentarily. Stunned and frozen on one spot, the young man swallowed the biggest lump in his throat as the door is thrown open and the enemies starts to pour out from within.

Being out in the open did him no favours. He had no where to hide. The bullets have no eyes and he is well aware of that. However, what concerns him the most at this moment is how unprepared the platoon is. “WE ARE UNDER ATTACK! THE ENEMIES ARE HERE!” Yelling at the top of his lungs despite knowing the risks of doing so, Hongbin is desperate to warn the rest of the soldiers.

The sound of gunfire started to rattle pretty quickly and Hongbin found himself caught in the middle of a battle again. He had not been engaged in one for the whole time that he was at this camp and his reflexes are mostly retarded by now. Blunt and not helping him at all as he darts around aimlessly to find cover in the shrubs nearby.

He is not armed. The only thing he was taught was to hide and stay hidden till the casualties start piling up. The red band on his right arm warranted him to do so. He does not even know how to use a gun, much less those heavy artillery littered nearby. Watching helplessly as the enemies raid and plunder those precious ammo, Hongbin prayed fervently that they would at least leave his first aid kit alone.

An enemy soldier spots him from behind the crates and Hongbin’s first instinct was to bolt. Scrambling out of his hiding place and forcing himself not to pay attention to the dead soldiers in the immediate vicinity, Hongbin felt anger for the first time in so long. They were his new friends too and he felt personally responsible for them, yet he is abandoning them now.

He would fight if he could but that was the only thing he could not do. Regret ate away at him and Wonshik’s face kept surfacing in his conscience as he dodges the thick branches, venturing deeper into the forest. Skittering from tree to tree, Hongbin stumbled right into middle of an ambush waiting nearby.

“HANDS IN THE AIR!!” A loud roar stunned Hongbin into a petrified fit, doe eyes widening dramatically in fright. Staggering backwards and breaking into a run, the disorientated medic’s flight response kicked in and he ended up thinking that he could outrun the bullets.

Dashing as fast as he could, Hongbin ran right into another tall burly man who had emerged from behind the adjacent tree, falling painfully as he slips on a puddle of murk. It was raining not long ago and the latter found himself covered in mud, spitting out small gravels while the cold barrel of a rifle rests on the back of his neck.

Squealing cutely in fright, the enemies laughed mockingly when Hongbin tried to swat the cold metal tube away. Staring dumbly at the bunch with big enticing black orbs, the young medic does not even remember that he can use his identity as immunity or to just beg for mercy.

“Ahhh… this little medic…” The leader of the pack spoke brusquely and Hongbin winced. “We were looking for you.” The person spoke with a weird accent and Hongbin somehow understood, despite wishing that he didn’t.

Silence ensued as he kept his eyes fixated on the half a dozen barrels positioned right beside his face and ears, Hongbin felt faint as his pulse quickens erratically. “Where is your headquarter?” Someone from the intimidating bunch asked but Hongbin does not answer. Without warning, the leader slugged the young man square on the jaw with the of his rifle and all the medic could do was whimper.

“Click.” The loading sound of bullets immediately causes Hongbin’s life to flash past his eyes. Gasping as he squeezes his eyelids shut tightly, the poor medic can’t stop his hands and shoulders from shuddering. Mumbling under his breathe, the poor latter prayed for a quick ending while he tries not to think about how his grandmother will take the news of his death.

“BAM!!” A shot is fired right beside his ear, deafening him momentarily. Squirming uncomfortably when the leader bends down and heaves him up, Hongbin can barely stand by himself, secretly glad he hadn’t peed in his pants. “Where is it?” the man whispered death but the courage Hongbin did not know he had was stirring within.

“I- I don’t know!” Hongbin was intending to speak up but his voice came out all cracked and whiny instead.

“Do you take me for an idiot?!” “Finish him off.” The leader ordered shortly after inspecting Hongbin’s armband. Squealing once more, a terrified Hongbin shut his eyes instinctively again.

He is not about to tell on his own. Not especially when Wonshik is the commander there.

Fortunately, the leader chose to believe him, assuming that Hongbin would not be able to lie after their attempt to scare him. Seeing the medic gaze at him with such round innocent teary eyes, he does not see how Hongbin would be lying. He is direly mistaken. Hongbin is terrible at lying but being scared senseless made him more of an actor than he ever would be.

The other reason for the enemy to spare Hongbin would be because they desperately needed him for his medical services, lest the need to euthanize more of their own comrades.

“Take him back.”