I was 17. I was starting to get old. Ha, maybe not old but at least I felt like an old lonely lady, just because of you. I had been a loner in high school too. I wasn't ugly, nor strange. Then why did people take distance from me? I wanted someone to give me 5 or even 1 reason to live. Sometimes I even considered a suicide. But what if life just turned to something else, something better soon?

Did you hate me?

Was I that strange?

I'm normal. Or am I?

On the day I turned 18 I decided on one thing. One thing that would change my life forever. Was it going to turn out good or bad? I didn't know. Was I going to heaven or hell with it. I didn't know. The only thing I thought of was that life and love . I didn't want to live anymore. My decision, after all, was to commit suicide. I had no reason to live so why live?

On the 9th of August I wrote a letter. A letter to a special someone

Hello,

I am Mrs. Invincible. Ain't that a cute name? I wish I could say, Oh hello there I'm that girl you know, the girl from middle school. Your neighbor. But maybe you actually don't know who I am. I have always been the silent, shy girl no one knows anything about. The only one I like to talk to is my grandpa. I just wanted to tell you how much I love you.You don't know how much. I'm turning 18 today. Isn't it kinda sad, that I decided to end my life on my 18th birthday? He he yeah, it might sound weird to you. I wish you will have a great life, with children, a great wife. This is embarrassing but...I wish I was that wife. I wish, I wish, I wish for so much. But I was too shy to actually make something happen. I couldn't bare with having all of this on my chest, that's why I'm telling you this. I wanted you to know. I love you Park Jim-in. Bye.

Bye.

I didn't know it was so hard to say farewell to someone.