“Margo wake up!!”


You sat up quickly and looked around the room. It was dark outside there were no lights on in the house and the only thing you knew was that something was wrong.

 

“Margo I said get up. We need to leave. NOW.”


Your mom grabbed you by the hand and pulled you out of bed. The only thing running through your mind was that you were extremely confused as to what was wrong.

 

As she ran around your room trying to pack things quickly you suddenly felt dizzy and light headed. Before you knew it, you had fallen on the ground, picked up then taken to the hospital.

 

“I’m sorry mam, but your daughter is going to die. Her body cannot hold on much longer.”


There were lights everywhere, people running around with clipboards and long blue gowns. You, were in a hospital.

 

You tried to open your eyes completely but they just wouldn’t open without closing immediately. Then you could hear the sobs coming from your mom. It was heart breaking. You turned your head on her direction but could say nothing.

 

“She’s awake. Mrs. Brennan you may talk to your daughter now.” It was a nurse who was talking.

 

She ran over to you and hugged you with all her might. The crying only got worse the longer she held on. You tried to speak again and this time some words did come out.

 

“Don’t cry. I know you love me. But please…let me go…”


Then the monitor flat lined and soon the doctors were trying to reverse your cardiac arrest.

 

That’s when the dream ended and you woke up in a cold sweat, alone in your room. You placed your hand over your heart and took a very deep breath before finding any peace.

 

You looked out the window and saw that the sky was a dull grey color that just set off a mood just by looking at it.

 

That dream was not really a dream, but a nightmare. You had lived through that at the age of 5 because that was when the doctor officially said that your body was a ticking time bomb that could go off whenever it was put into situations of high, high stress.

 

“I never want to relive that one…I can’t break my moms heart. Not again…”


Pulling yourself out of bed was more of a challenge than a routine today. You felt like the weight of the world was on your shoulders and that you had to keep everything floating and in balance.

 

While taking your medication, your phone rang. It was Joshua. You hadn’t talked to any of those guys in two weeks and the Gala was coming up very soon. It seemed that Joshua was looking for an answer.

 

“Hello?” Your voice was quiet but groggy.

 

“Hi, whoa…you ok there Margo?”


“Yeah, just didn’t sleep well that’s all.” You didn’t want to get him involved in this. If you did there would be nasty consequences and lots more crying than what you wanted to see. Even though you two weren’t in the room together, you could still tell that there was a change in Joshua’s facial expression.

 

“Ok, just wanted to make sure. Anyway, the Gala is coming up soon.” He waited a moment for you to respond, but was only met with silence.

 

“Would you want to go see it?”


“I can’t. I’ve got homework to do but maybe we can get together another time and hangout?”


“Sure, whatever works best for you.” He could mask his tone, but not his face.

 

“Cool. But hey, let me know how it goes. Also, did Minghao ever get asked to dance with his friends?”


“Yeah, Dino called him the next day and asked him to perform with them.” Joshua was trying his best to be happy, but he couldn’t’ help but feel sad. “Hey listen, I have to go now but I’ll talk to you later.”


“Ok, bye.” But he had already hung up the phone. You sat on your bed for a good 5 minutes, just listening to the unbearable sound that the phone makes after a call ends.

 

You put your phone away, sticking it in your backpack and hoping that no one tried to contact you for the morning.

 

It was funny; going down the stairs today was more of a struggle than normal. Everything that had happened in your life since the day you met them had been more of a struggle.

 

It suddenly occurred to you that hanging out with 13 guys may not be the greatest thing ever. It was nice but at some point you’d have to face reality and looked at it head on.

 

Joshua Hong. That was one person you would really have to think about for a bit. You two worked well together but things seemed to be getting off to a very different direction.

 

Then there was Minghao. He was really nice and just a bundle of joy to talk to. If anything he was your best friend within the group. He could make you smile when others couldn’t and he could understand you when you just couldn’t speak.

 

Jeonghan was the friend that always made things fun even when it seemed like it wouldn’t be. He made your days better.

 

There was also DK who wanted to make everyone happy whenever possible.  He was the one who kept his mood up even if the situation was not ideal.

 

Woozi was just down right adorable but also very grown up and caring. Out of all the members he was the one you liked the most. Even though Korean was his main language talking to him never got old. He made you smile and laugh until your cheeks were bright red and your sides were hurting, but in a good way.

 

Come to think of it, for the past 3 weeks everything had been going well. Being with all 13 of those dorks really improved your mood. But then again, there was always a downside to being with them. If you thought about it for long enough, it would just hurt until you could distract yourself.

 

While you were deep into your thoughts, the home phone rang. You answered it when you saw the caller ID.

“Wonwoo…”


“Margo, could you come over to the dorm?”


“Uh….which one? You all live in different dorms.”

 

"Joshua’s. Mingyu, Woozi, DK and I will meet you there.”


“What time?”


“Ten minutes.”


“Ok.” You hung up and ran to change your clothes.

 

 

***

 

 

By the time you got to the dorm, they were already there waiting for you. They didn’t look too happy.

 

“Margo. You made it.” Woozi said as lightly as he could.

 

“What’s wrong?”


“The8 is what’s wrong. He hasn’t ben the same since a week ago and we have no idea why. Not even Jun can help.” DK said in such a sullen tone that scared even you.

 

“Where is he?” You went from sad to very straightforward.

 

“He’s in his room. We’ve been trying to get him to come out now for a good portion of time but…as you can see.” Woozi made a grandish gesture.

 

“Clearly. Hasn’t Joshua talked to him? He normally helps.”


“Joshua left around 9 this morning. We haven’t seen him since then.”


You sighed deeply and rubbed your eyes. This was going to be a long day and you knew it the moment Joshua hung up the phone.

 

“Let’s go. He isn’t going to get any better if we’re just standing here.” You walked over to the elevator and pushed the button. You crossed your arms over your chest and tapped your foot lightly against the floor.

 

The other stood behind you wondering just why you suddenly became darker than what they’d seen you like normally.

 

When the elevator came you got on and immediately pressed level 4. They hurried in and you all stood in complete silence.

 

“How long exactly did you say he’s been in his room?”


“For about a week now. We’ve been hearing him in his room but he doesn’t come out unless to go to the bathroom. Which is very few times a day.”

“Woozi I get your concern but,” the elevator doors opened and you hurried down the hall to the all too familiar room. You grabbed the handle and opened the door quickly.
 

“But?” They ran after you into the dorm room and down the hall to The8’s room.

 

“This is a sensitive case. Let me talk to him for as long as I can and I’ll come back with what I can tell you.” You knocked on the door and spoke in Chinese.

 

After a minute the door opened a crack, you entered and shut the door immediately after you. That was the last time the others would see you for a good portion of time.

 

Wonwoo leaned against the wall with his eyes closed, Woozi sat on the floor with a sullen look. Mingyu looked like he was going to fall asleep from being tired but in reality, he was worried as hell about The8. DK was the only one who didn’t look like he was going to break down. He wasn’t happy nor was he devastated.

 

Once you were in The8’s room, it was time to get down to business.

 

“Minghao, please talk to me.”


“About what? As far as I knew there was nothing I needed to talk to anyone about.”


You knew that tone all too well. You had used it many times when you first found out about your condition. It was a tone that basically screamed ‘I’m dying on the inside’.

“Please don’t talk like that. I understand how much your hurting right now but I need to know why. If you can’t tell me then you’re out of luck. I’ll keep coming back until you’re ready to talk.”


“It’s my mom. She wants me to stay here and to never come back. She told me that I was a disgrace to the family. My little brother is even doing better than I am.” His face fell some length, until you heard his crying.

 

“But I think the worst part of this is that I’ve been living in LA for 7 years of my life and only now, does my mom tell me to not come home. Only now does she tell me that my little brother is doing better than I am.”

 

The tears rolled slowly and quietly down his pink cheeks. His heart was breaking and his spirit was almost gone. There was very little that was going to make him feel better.

“Oh god…” You sat down next to him and gave him a hug.

 

When you embraced him, he went from quietly crying to sobbing his heart out. You could feel his whole body shaking with every breath. He looked like he had no more life in him.

 

“Ge, it’ll be ok…You’ve got us. I know that we aren’t your direct family, but we are still your family.”

You rubbed his back slowly and gently in circles to help try and calm him down. He probably cried there in your arms for a good 20 minutes before his sobs turned into tears rolling down his face once more.

 

He looked at you for a moment before trying to wipe his eyes. You stopped him, grabbed a cloth an gently dried his eyes and cheeks.

 

“It’ll be ok.” You said once again.

 

He nodded slowly, put his hand on yours that was wiping his cheek and gave a small smile. It was gentle touch but all the same you could tell that he was feeling better.

 

“谢谢 Margo.”


“I’m here whenever you need me, even if it’s some crazy hour of the day, just call me or text me. I’ll answer. Eventually. If I’m not asleep when you do.” You smiled at him and gave him one last hug before you had to drag him out of the room.

 

“Now, do you feel like you can come out of this place and be with some friends?”


“Well…” he trailed off slightly.

 

“Please? Minguy, Wonwoo, Woozi and DK are waiting for you to come out. They’re really concerned.”


He sighed and nodded his head with a smile. You knew he was going to be just fine to hangout today. Minghao already had his usual smile on his face as he opened the door and was attacked with hugs and fast pace words in Korean.

 

“Oh my god, The8 don’t ever scare me like that again.” Woozi said then lightly punched the younger in the arm.

 

They were all very worried but relieved to have him back to his usual state of being. Then you all heard the front door of the dorm open. You all turned to see who it was and there, at the end of the hall was Joshua.

 

“Hyung, where have you been?” The8 asked carefully.

 

However, Joshua never said a word to any of you. He simply stood there looking at each of you then went into his room. He shut his door quietly behind him.

 

“Oh boy, now Josh is in a mood.” Mingyu looked like he was going to explode if there was another problem with his friends.

 

“Let’s go. We should give him some space.” Woozi herded everyone out of the dorm room and out into the main hallway.

 

Leaving the building was a good idea but all the same you felt bad because you knew why Joshua was in a mood. It was because you had said no. To be honest, you knew that he liked you, there was just no hiding it because he showed it too well.

 

The only reason why you had ever picked up on that vibe was because Woozi told you. Well he didn’t exactly tell you, he had to jump through several hoops to get it into your brain that Joshua liked you.

 

But that will be saved for a later date to explain due to Wonwoo telling you guys that you should all hangout for a bit.

 

“Where should we even go? There’s not many places in LA that are a surprise to us anymore.” DK said frowning slightly.

 

“Well we could always go outside of LA.” The8 had a slight devilish smile that played on his lips.

 

“Yeah, but where?” It was clear that Mingyu really had no intention of being with you in the first place but he was stuck now and might as well get with it.

 

As this question hung in the air, a thought came to you instantly.

 

“Why don’t I take you guys to one of my favorite hangout spots?”


“What would we do?”


“There’s a lot we could do where I would take you guys. I just need to know if you’re up for it and you have the money to do it.”

They looked at you like you were crazy for a second but that quickly changed. Smiles formed on their faces and nodded their heads.

 

“We’ve got money to spare and we are definitely up for whatever you had planned.” There was a gleam in Woozi’s eye that made you smile. It was if he was saying to bring it on.

 

“Alright, challenge accepted to blow your minds Woozi.” You walked over to the elevator and pressed the button to go down.

 

“Hey do you guys have keys to a car?”


“Oops. I left them in the dorm. I’d rather not go back and ask Joshua for them.” Even DK, who was always happy, did not want to face whatever mood Joshua was fixed in.

 

“That’s fine. I can go home to get my car. Do you guys want to come with?”

“Why not? It’ll be part of the adventure.”


You all piled onto the elevator with great anticipation. They were clearly very excited to go on an outing that was outside of the heart of LA. It was kind of boring after you have lived there for 5 years. By that time you could have seen the whole heart twice.

 

As you left the dorm building with the others, you talked and laughed as though things were right in the world. Little did you know that Joshua could see from his room how happy you were with them.

 

He sank onto the floor with his back against the wall. He didn’t know what to do at this point due to the fact that he had been really pushing his luck with you already.

 

“Why do I fail at life?” He mumbled to himself.

 

With all the strength he had left, he hoisted himself up off the floor, walked over to his bed and landed on it with a rather loud thud. Then again, his bed was just a mattress on the floor.

 

He closed his eyes and tried to sleep off most of the day. But the only thing he could do was sleep for 30 minutes at a time, wake up, and go back to sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hi everyone, sorry for ths really bad chapter. I normally don't write stuff that's so angsty. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that the next chapter will be all from Joshua's perspective on the past 3 weeks. I know I've skipped a good portion of time but I will make sense of all this in the next chapter. Though I might have to extend it to two chapters. Or maybe like...several chapters...Because, let's face it, trying to cover 3 weeks worth of memories in two chapters may not be enough in the slightest. 

So yeah, happy reading!