Part ll 2 ll

Place : Lago di Como, Italy

Title : EunMyung's journal.

Today is my last day in Italy, and so far, I’ve had a blast. Italy is amazing and I’ve visited as many places as I could. I am on a boat right now, so it’s somewhat unsteady but the view is just too amazing for me not to write!

From what I could understand from the people who told me, Lago di Como is one of the most beautiful lakes in Italy. And here I am, sitting on a boat on that lake, writing in my journal. It definitely is going to be something that I’ll remember, writing while riding on a boat on one of Italy’s beautiful lake.

I did the same thing too, actually, when I was on a boat admiring the colorful homes in Isola di Burano. Only that I didn’t get to write much as I was busy taking in the beautiful colored homes along the island. Each and every houses there are painted with different colors and I find that very amazing and different.

Throughout my visit in Italy, I’ve learned a lot from its people while walking around or along the streets. When I was in a pizzeria shop or enjoying the cookies at the pastry shop, I observed the way they live and how they go about their daily lives.

One of the things I’ve learned is that life is less hurried in Italy. I don’t see them hurrying about with cups of coffee in their hands but rather, they are enjoying every sip of their espressos at the coffee shops itself. It seems as if there is nothing to rush about and they do everything in a relaxed manner. It’s different from back home, where everyone is trying to be quick at everything.

I also noticed that there are no fast foods here in Italy. A very friendly elderly woman told me when I was buying a cookie that in Italy, it’s all about “slow food”, if I could put it that way. I asked her how do the families here eat their dinner or any other meals, and she told me that dinners are leisurely, and everyone will sit together at a table and eat as a family. No televisions, phones, or computers are allowed when a family is having dinner.

She told me that dinner is an important meal for a family, as that is when the family members exchange their stories about their day, and it is the time when they connect with each other after not seeing one another for the whole day.

Hearing her telling me that made me ponder of the last time I ate with my family as a whole. I tried to remember and I realized that it had been more than ten years ago. It was back when my dad was still around and mom was still okay, before everything fell apart and the concept of a family just didn’t exist anymore.

After my dad moved out, it was a struggle for my mom and me to sit together at the dining table to eat a meal together. I was always gone before breakfast, and usually we’d already had our own dinner so there were no exchanging stories with one another.

I guess if we really tried to sit together at the table, all we’ll be reminded of was the memories of the three of us. We’ll be recapped by how different things had been since the previous years and how one single event could change the course of our lives.

SeHun kept telling me that I should try to get my mom to eat dinner together with me, and just to please him, I did as he told me. However, each time I tried that, mom didn’t seem to want to cooperate. For countless times I tried to divert her attention to something else, but the only thing that she would do was remembering how good the times when our family was still a whole were.

She couldn’t seem to move on after what happened and somehow I’d been fed up with her. I began questioning myself as to why I should even try to make things back to normal with her when she wasn’t even trying. I tried so hard to get things to look like the way they used to be but she was still drowning in her memories, her regret, and her anger.

She was like that for years until she’d gotten sick and I kept blaming myself for being the cause of her downfall. So many ‘what ifs’ came to my mind and how I could change what has already happened?

I gave up on her, and I gave up on myself. I lived my life soullessl